# "I'm a very honest person"... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 17, 2008, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-very-honest-person/477574 "2008-12-17T15:54:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![outside\_artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7993a0/32.png) [@outside\_artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outside_artist)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-very-honest-person/477574/1 "2008-12-17T15:54:39Z")
In my opinion, people who say things like this are letting you know that they are the opposite of what they claim. My friend, who is dating a guy who keeps saying this believes him, but I cringe every time he (frequently) comes out with it. I feel that those who need to constantly tell people this are making up for being dis-honest. If you are honest, you just are and you don’t need to keep saying so. What do you think? Are people who make broad statements like this about themselves really truthful, or are they overcompensating? ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-very-honest-person/477574/2 "2008-12-17T16:04:03Z")
I agree. People who consistently point out their virtues immediately put me on guard. At the most harmless, what they’re saying is true but they’re incredibly insecure. At worst, they’re very manipulative, but also very clumsy at going about it. It reminds me of a highschool classmate of mine who felt the need to announce how much of a “gentleman” he was at every opportunity. He would tell stories specifically so he could finish it off with “because that [what I just did] is what a gentleman does” or something similar. To finish the story in edit, he also fit every “Nice Guy (Actually Jerk)” portrayal that appear on these boards whenever the “nice guys finish last” discussion comes up. ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-very-honest-person/477574/3 "2008-12-17T16:10:13Z")
> [@outside\_artist](#): > > In my opinion, people who say things like this are letting you know that they are the opposite of what they claim. My friend, who is dating a guy who keeps saying this believes him, but I cringe every time he (frequently) comes out with it. I feel that those who need to constantly tell people this are making up for being dis-honest. If you are honest, you just are and you don’t need to keep saying so. What do you think? Are people who make broad statements like this about themselves really truthful, or are they overcompensating? Some yes, some no, some perhaps. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-very-honest-person/477574/4 "2008-12-17T16:15:33Z")
The statement, in and of itself, is a lie. ---
**Author:** ![Ruminator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Ruminator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruminator)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-very-honest-person/477574/5 "2008-12-17T16:17:05Z")
I was asked in an interview once if I was honest. I replied that you could trust me with a briefcase holding $100k – but a briefcase with $10 million was a little risky. I got the job so I guess he agreed that honesty was a matter of degree. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-very-honest-person/477574/6 "2008-12-17T16:18:58Z")
I’ve found that one of the best ways to judge other people’s character is to look at what they believe about other people. People usually see other people as mirrors of themselves; by default they will assume other people are like them. So a person who generally trusts other people is himself probably trustworthy. And a person who thinks other people are usually dishonest is most likely telling his own lies. ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-very-honest-person/477574/7 "2008-12-17T16:28:26Z")
In my experience, describing oneself as “a very honest person” is usually an excuse to dump on someone (“I only told him that he had a nose like an eagle’s beak because I’m a very honest person”). ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-very-honest-person/477574/8 "2008-12-17T16:35:53Z")
> [@PoorYorick](#): > > In my experience, describing oneself as “a very honest person” is usually an excuse to dump on someone (“I only told him that he had a nose like an eagle’s beak because I’m a very honest person”). That’s also been my experience. “Blunt” is used the same way, as an excuse to be rude. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-very-honest-person/477574/9 "2008-12-17T16:40:17Z")
I agree. They’re not necessarily liars, but they’re definitely blowhards who shouldn’t be trusted. ---
**Author:** ![Driver8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5a626/32.png) [@Driver8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Driver8)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-very-honest-person/477574/10 "2008-12-17T16:41:21Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I’ve found that one of the best ways to judge other people’s character is to look at what they believe about other people. People usually see other people as mirrors of themselves; by default they will assume other people are like them. So a person who generally trusts other people is himself probably trustworthy. And a person who thinks other people are usually dishonest is most likely telling his own lies. I’d agree with the first half of this. But I wouldn’t write anybody off because they didn’t trust other people - this could be a reflection of themselves, but it could also be hard won experience dealing with other people. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-very-honest-person/477574/11 "2008-12-17T16:42:29Z")
> [@PoorYorick](#): > > In my experience, describing oneself as “a very honest person” is usually an excuse to dump on someone (“I only told him that he had a nose like an eagle’s beak because I’m a very honest person”). Bingo. “I’m very honest” is usually code for “I have no respect for your mushy little _feelings_. If you can’t handle my honesty, that’s \*your \*problem.” ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-very-honest-person/477574/12 "2008-12-17T16:43:37Z")
If someone prefaced a statement with “I am a very honest person…” I would take it with the same grain of salt as when someone starts a sentence with “I’m not a racist, but…” ---
**Author:** ![PaulParkhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@PaulParkhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PaulParkhead)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-very-honest-person/477574/13 "2008-12-17T16:45:37Z")
> [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](#): > > That’s also been my experience. “Blunt” is used the same way, as an excuse to be rude. Yup. People who say things like “I always speak my mind” or “If I have something to say, I say it” are generally the same. ---
**Author:** ![burundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ec8ea/32.png) [@burundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burundi)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-very-honest-person/477574/14 "2008-12-17T16:52:24Z")
> [@PaulParkhead](#): > > Yup. People who say things like “I always speak my mind” or “If I have something to say, I say it” are generally the same. Exactly. “I always speak my mind” can usually be translated as, “I’m a rude asshole with little consideration for others’ feelings.” ---
**Author:** ![fervour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@fervour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fervour)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-very-honest-person/477574/15 "2008-12-17T16:55:57Z")
Since “honest” is often conflated with principled. I think it often means “I’ll lie for good reasons.” You have to evaluate the person’s character to see if they lie for good reasons. Lying to protect innocent victims = good. Lying to spare someone’s feelings about something that can’t be changed = grey area. Lying to justify stealing food out of the company fridge = bad ( I had to work through lunch and was going to get a headache if I didn’t eat something, but it wasn’t much so I’m not gonna tell anyone or replace it —sort of thing). On second thought, I think the OP is right. Anytime anyone has said they are honest in the context of my original paragraph they phrase it more like, “I try to be very honest” not that unequivocal “I’m very honest” crap. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-very-honest-person/477574/16 "2008-12-17T16:58:24Z")
Well, I have to admit that _when asked_, I always say “I’m an honest person, because I’m lazy, and being a liar is a job of work.” ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-very-honest-person/477574/17 "2008-12-17T17:45:38Z")
I know people who say, “trust me” after making a statement. This immediately puts me on alert for the bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![simply\_cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@simply\_cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simply_cats)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-very-honest-person/477574/18 "2008-12-17T17:57:00Z")
> [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#): > > If someone prefaced a statement with “I am a very honest person…” I would take it with the same grain of salt as when someone starts a sentence with “I’m not a racist, but…” Which is also the same grain of salt I used to take with my former sister-in-law, whose tagline was “Now I’m a Christian, but…” I often tell my students that when you make a statement that you immediately follow with a “but”- you are negating the whole first part of your statement. ---
**Author:** ![Cagey\_Drifter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@Cagey\_Drifter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cagey_Drifter)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-very-honest-person/477574/19 "2008-12-17T17:59:08Z")
IMO, nobody thinks of themselves as being dishonest, so to state this as a means of assuring another of what they themselves know not to be true does not really make logical sense. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-very-honest-person/477574/20 "2008-12-17T18:04:30Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > Well, I have to admit that _when asked_, I always say “I’m an honest person, because I’m lazy, and being a liar is a job of work.” Heh. that’s usually my answer when a prospective girlfriend asks me if I cheat on girlfriends. Most are not amused, but hey, I’m just being honest! 😉 Kudos to the OP, I was thinking about this the other day. No, you\* aren’t speaking your mind, you’re being a cunt. \*You as in the people who do this, not the OP. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-very-honest-person/477574.md?page=2)