# I'm a white knight on Meetup.com and can't meet anyone **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 30, 2014, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-white-knight-on-meetup-com-and-cant-meet-anyone/687361 "2014-04-30T15:01:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![other](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/49beb7/32.png) [@other](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/other)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-white-knight-on-meetup-com-and-cant-meet-anyone/687361/1 "2014-04-30T15:01:39Z")
☹ I’m so sad and lonely. I’m really a sweet, nice, quiet, gentle, respectful guy. I go to [Meetup.com](http://Meetup.com) events with the purest intentions. I never dare act forward or rude. I hang back in the corner. I never email the organizer with questions. And I never meet anyone. Meanwhile the more assertive guys that are attracted to women end up talking to them, going out with them and sleeping with them. Oh well, that’s just my pathetic lot in life. I guess I’m doing the right thing according to anonymous strangers online. Any advice for me, Mr. lonely bachelor? Poor me. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Lakai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lakai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lakai)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-white-knight-on-meetup-com-and-cant-meet-anyone/687361/2 "2014-04-30T15:06:54Z")
When you say you “hang back in the corner,” do you mean you don’t talk to anyone? How do you expect to date girls if you don’t talk to them? ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-white-knight-on-meetup-com-and-cant-meet-anyone/687361/3 "2014-04-30T15:10:23Z")
Trying to talk to somebody at an event where meeting and talking is the point is not the same as being forward and rude. However, your “purest of intentions” statement does not jive with your wistful recap of how other guys get to sleep with women but you don’t - the statement of how nice and sweet you are certainly doesn’t help the picture I’m forming either. ---
**Author:** ![LibrarySpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@LibrarySpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LibrarySpy)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-white-knight-on-meetup-com-and-cant-meet-anyone/687361/4 "2014-04-30T15:20:02Z")
> [@](#): > > Nice Guys™ seem to regard a man’s relationship with a woman as successful or valuable only if it is romantic or sexual in nature, i.e. friendship is failure. From [here](http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Nice_guy_syndrome). Maybe make a pact that you will not date anyone for a year, while you spend that time working on your social skills. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-white-knight-on-meetup-com-and-cant-meet-anyone/687361/5 "2014-04-30T15:26:44Z")
My advice: work on your passivity and try real hard not to blame the women for not noticing you if you can’t step up and talk to them. The purpose of meetups is to talk to people and get to know one another. You can’t and won’t meet anyone if you are too shy or passive to go strike up a conversation. Work on your confidence skills. I suggest Toastmaster’s. That’s supposed to be a great way to build confidence; I’ve heard good things. ---
**Author:** ![Polerius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Polerius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polerius)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-white-knight-on-meetup-com-and-cant-meet-anyone/687361/6 "2014-04-30T15:31:32Z")
> [@other](#): > > ☹ I’m so sad and lonely. I’m really a sweet, nice, quiet, gentle, respectful guy. I go to [Meetup.com](http://Meetup.com) events with the purest intentions. I never dare act forward or rude. I hang back in the corner. I never email the organizer with questions. And I never meet anyone. Meanwhile the more assertive guys that are attracted to women end up talking to them, going out with them and sleeping with them. Oh well, that’s just my pathetic lot in life. I guess I’m doing the right thing according to anonymous strangers online. Any advice for me, Mr. lonely bachelor? Poor me. :smack: This sounds like a parody ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_North](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@Richard\_North](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_North)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-white-knight-on-meetup-com-and-cant-meet-anyone/687361/7 "2014-04-30T15:32:44Z")
> [@other](#): > > ☹ I’m so sad and lonely. I’m really a sweet, nice, quiet, gentle, respectful guy. I go to [Meetup.com](http://Meetup.com) events with the purest intentions. I never dare act forward or rude. I hang back in the corner. I never email the organizer with questions. And I never meet anyone. Meanwhile the more assertive guys that are attracted to women end up talking to them, going out with them and sleeping with them. Oh well, that’s just my pathetic lot in life. I guess I’m doing the right thing according to anonymous strangers online. Any advice for me, Mr. lonely bachelor? Poor me. :smack: Go to a Low Testosterone clinic and get your T levels checked. Increase your testosterone levels. Lift weights, do Paleo, and take zinc and omega 3 supplements. You’ll look hotter and have more confidence in approaching women. I once had low testosterone, but now I’m well. I went from looking like George Zimmerman to looking like a Hispanic Justin Bieber! Oh, and why are you on Meetup? That’s for meeting friends. Get on Okcupid! ---
**Author:** ![HipGnosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/76d3ee/32.png) [@HipGnosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HipGnosis)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-white-knight-on-meetup-com-and-cant-meet-anyone/687361/8 "2014-04-30T15:33:10Z")
> [@](#): > > Nice Guys™ seem to regard a man’s relationship with a woman as successful or valuable only if it is romantic or sexual in nature, i.e. friendship is failure. Bullshit!! PLAYERs (I hope that’s a current term) are the ones that consider a friendship a failure (or a ‘waste of time’). There’s a lot of red-flags in the OP post. Who says he’s a ‘white knight’? I’ve never heard of a wall-flower knight. How does he know the ‘assertive guys’ are sleeping with the women? ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-white-knight-on-meetup-com-and-cant-meet-anyone/687361/9 "2014-04-30T15:35:17Z")
Try being a real white knight. Chicks dig horses and swords/lances are manly. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-white-knight-on-meetup-com-and-cant-meet-anyone/687361/10 "2014-04-30T15:35:45Z")
> [@Polerius](#): > > This sounds like a parody It is. He’s been spending time in a zombie thread about Meetup. Don’t waste your time. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-white-knight-on-meetup-com-and-cant-meet-anyone/687361/11 "2014-04-30T15:42:39Z")
This is the guy that said only ugly people go to Meet-up events in another thread. He’s playing the Dope-don’t engage. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_North](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@Richard\_North](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_North)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-white-knight-on-meetup-com-and-cant-meet-anyone/687361/12 "2014-04-30T15:45:16Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > This is the guy that said only ugly people go to Meet-up events in another thread. He’s playing the Dope-don’t engage. It’s true. Ugly and old people, and socially awkward foreign men. ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-white-knight-on-meetup-com-and-cant-meet-anyone/687361/13 "2014-04-30T15:51:27Z")
> [@Richard\_North](#): > > It’s true. Ugly and old people, and socially awkward foreign men. But is there a MeetUp at White Castle? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-white-knight-on-meetup-com-and-cant-meet-anyone/687361/14 "2014-04-30T15:56:14Z")
[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=17332783&postcount=382](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=17332783&postcount=382) ---
**Author:** ![Frazzled](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frazzled/32/3368_2.png) [@Frazzled](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frazzled)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-white-knight-on-meetup-com-and-cant-meet-anyone/687361/15 "2014-04-30T16:41:42Z")
I’m single and meetup is one of my social outlets. I’m a member of 3 different groups and have a great time with each one. One of the groups I’m in is very active and it can be busy trying to meet all the new people that come to each session. Other groups have died off on the website, but those of us that were in it still get together. We simply got to a point where we liked each other and didn’t want the big fuss of a large group. I have friends in each group that I do things with outside of the group we met in, and I’ve had sex with a few of the girls I’ve met through Meetup too. There’s nothing special about Meetup other than that it’s a way to meet regular people with similar interests which is what I’m interested in anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_North](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@Richard\_North](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_North)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-white-knight-on-meetup-com-and-cant-meet-anyone/687361/16 "2014-04-30T16:49:44Z")
> [@Frazzled](#): > > I’m single and meetup is one of my social outlets. I’m a member of 3 different groups and have a great time with each one. One of the groups I’m in is very active and it can be busy trying to meet all the new people that come to each session. Other groups have died off on the website, but those of us that were in it still get together. We simply got to a point where we liked each other and didn’t want the big fuss of a large group. I have friends in each group that I do things with outside of the group we met in, and\*\* I’ve had sex with a few of the girls I’ve met through Meetup too\*\*. There’s nothing special about Meetup other than that it’s a way to meet regular people with similar interests which is what I’m interested in anyway. Oh you braggart. 😉 There is an exception. Try sports meet-ups. Like volleyball or something. Lots of hot women and cool guys. The age skews younger, also. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-white-knight-on-meetup-com-and-cant-meet-anyone/687361/17 "2014-04-30T16:51:14Z")
Natural selection. Nobody is entitled to sex, much less a loving and fulfilling relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-white-knight-on-meetup-com-and-cant-meet-anyone/687361/18 "2014-04-30T16:57:09Z")
It’s rude to expect them to come to you. It’s rude for you to expect them to just see how wonderful you are. You are a very rude person and you are not a White Knight. ---
**Author:** ![delsina363](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@delsina363](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delsina363)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-white-knight-on-meetup-com-and-cant-meet-anyone/687361/19 "2014-04-30T17:17:40Z")
I just read about a meetup yesterday. It was on this site. I am guessing the OP is just being sarcastic. My question : WTF is a meetup ? Never heard of it. Is it like a dating service or something? ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2014, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-white-knight-on-meetup-com-and-cant-meet-anyone/687361/20 "2014-04-30T17:22:14Z")
Meetup is a social networking portal. You log onto the website, and you will see a variety of “meetups” in your area. Each meetup will focus on a topic, so you can choose to meetup with people who theoretically share a common interest with you. In my area I see photographers, vegans, campers, soccer, Mac users, Mothers, music, wine, etc… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-white-knight-on-meetup-com-and-cant-meet-anyone/687361.md?page=2)