# I'm a woman who doesn't like being called "guy" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 16, 2025, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683 "2025-03-16T21:51:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/62 "2025-03-17T01:37:53Z")
> [@markn\_1](#): > > I don’t generally use “guys” to refer to a group that includes women, but I don’t pay a lot of attention to it, and it doesn’t bother me when other people do. I’ve never heard a woman complain about it. If anyone did, I would certainly take extra care around that person. > > I have to say though, the last paragraph of the OP really undercuts their entire argument. It brands the speaker as someone who clings to silly outmoded word definitions in defiance of common usage. I concur on both counts. I had a small team under my supervision. Two females, one male. I asked the group- do you mind if I call you “guys” and they all said they didnt mind. But I dont think I would refer to just females are guys. I often use “folks”. > [@kenobi\_65](#): > > Some people (primarily women) don’t like the usage of a term like “guys” as a general-neutral collective noun, because it was originally a specifically-male term. Words change- how about “Wife”? " 1. ARCHAIC•SCOTTISH- a woman, especially an old or uneducated one." Is “Ladies” okay? But most of us are not nobility. This WaPo article says guys is gender neutral. [https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/2021/07/07/guys-defense-gendered-etymology/](https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/2021/07/07/guys-defense-gendered-etymology/) > [@Ellecram](#): > > If someone doesn’t like something and refuses to let me know about it I can’t read minds. Right. But it is fair- if you dont like that term applied to you, just quietly mention it to the user. ---
**Author:** ![Kropotkin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kropotkin/32/18045_2.png) [@Kropotkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kropotkin)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/63 "2025-03-17T01:43:52Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > How about “comrades”? As the song says, “You may be a comrade of all of those folks, but you ain’t no comrade of mine!” [https://youtu.be/EAjRLLa5YFE?si=LTAk25qkMBAcoczG](https://youtu.be/EAjRLLa5YFE?si=LTAk25qkMBAcoczG) Kidding, comrade! ---
**Author:** ![rippingtons\_fan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rippingtons_fan/32/11767_2.png) [@rippingtons\_fan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rippingtons_fan)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/64 "2025-03-17T01:51:07Z")
I like “comrades”. It sounds better than “citizens” (but then I’m a leftist and I’m kind of partial to comrades.) ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/65 "2025-03-17T01:54:22Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > But it is fair- if you dont like that term applied to you, just quietly mention it to the user. I’m sure all women are comfortable mentioning something like this to their male superior. It’s not like there’s any history of women being held back because they were “difficult” or the complaining type, right? ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/66 "2025-03-17T01:58:09Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > “Friends” or “my friends” seems to be a favored phrase of second language English speakers. I say we adopt that. Americans are too stingy with that word. I work with a woman (a senior executive at the ad agency) who uses “friends” a lot to address a group. Sometimes I think it works, sometimes I think it feels a little presumptuous. But, then, when I see it used like that, I am reminded of a series of fantasy novels (the “Elenium” trilogy by David Eddings), in which the main character, a knight named Sparhawk, always addresses strangers as “neighbor.” Someone asks Sparhawk, “why do you refer to people as ‘neighbor,’ and not, say, ‘friend?’” “Because I don’t know them well enough yet to know if they’ll be friends.” ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/67 "2025-03-17T02:01:11Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > So what unconscious damage is done to girls and women to be included in a term that means “male” in other contexts? Like microaggressions, it’s microdamage that has no real impact by itself. But it’s just one more thing women face every day that subtly tells them they are less. Well, I try not to use the word “guys” when referring to my students. But I’m not about to tell them that they’re using it wrong. > [@Odesio](#): > > She’s fine with woman, women, etc., etc., it’s just female in particular grates on her because of alpha male incel types who use the word. I suppose I could test the waters with toots, dame, and bird the next time I see her and see if any of those fly. The problem is that sometimes one wishes to refer to women and girls collectively. What other term should we use then? Ladies? Lasses? ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/68 "2025-03-17T02:03:33Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > I’m sure all women are comfortable mentioning something like this to their male superior. It’s not like there’s any history of women being held back because they were “difficult” or the complaining type, right? So what is the solution? Grin and bear it? Guy is now gender neutral , and that is the way language works. “Nice’ used to mean “stupid”. Then " scrupulous” then “subtle” (which it still can, sometimes) . Now it means " agreeable; satisfactory." So if the male boss tells the female worker she did a "nice’ job, is it okay for her to think he meant “stupid”? Language changes. I knew a woman who hated to be called “black”- she said “I am a lovely shade of mocha, I am not black”. Okay, I get that. But until she said something how would we know? ---
**Author:** ![rippingtons\_fan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rippingtons_fan/32/11767_2.png) [@rippingtons\_fan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rippingtons_fan)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/69 "2025-03-17T02:05:57Z")
Why can’t we just make up a new word like “scranarexin”? Hi scranarexin!!! Would that be preferable to being called guys? ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/70 "2025-03-17T02:06:38Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > So what is the solution? I mean, you could read this thread and realize that some people have a problem with it, even if they don’t say so, and make adjustments to take that into account. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/71 "2025-03-17T02:11:17Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > “Nice’ used to mean “stupid”. Then " scrupulous” then “subtle” (which it still can, sometimes) . Now it means " agreeable; satisfactory." Heck, even that word doesn’t have a universal meaning among native English speakers. A few years ago, my Irish friend (who has lived in America for 30 years) asked me to take a look at a web site she was developing, and give me my opinion. One of the things I said about it was “it’s nice,” meaning “it works well, it looks good, etc.” She was crestfallen; she explained to me that in Ireland, “nice” means “minimally acceptable,” and it’s a word that gets used by people who don’t particularly like something, but are trying to be polite. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/72 "2025-03-17T02:22:52Z")
Calling people females and males instead of women and men is police-blotter language. It sounds dehumanizing and should be avoided. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/73 "2025-03-17T02:23:44Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > I’m not surprised that 50+ year olds are ok with it after a life of experience that says this is just the way things are. I said I started using it in elementary school, as did all of us. As did other women here. None of us had any notion it referred only to males. Don’t presume to make our experience fit your scenario. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/74 "2025-03-17T02:25:29Z")
> [@On another topic](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/1015780/7): > > You people be trippin. > > Words mean whatever society says they mean. Ain’t no matter what Webster says they meant 200 years ago. I agree. And, FWIW, Webster says “guys” can mean: > b > : person > —used in plural to refer to the members of a group regardless of sex - [SOURCE](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/guy) It is definitionally proper usage. Word meanings change over time, this is not a new thing and the people who make dictionaries do not care about political correctness. The definitions will change. That said, if I was meeting @Johanna in person and I knew this was an issue I would make an effort to not use that word in that way. I would also hope there was no anger towards someone using that word if they didn’t know it was an issue until told that it was. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/75 "2025-03-17T02:28:56Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > What other term should we use then? Ladies? Lasses? Remember the thread here about how demeaning and insulting it was when a man addressed a roomful of women as “Ladies”? Better find another word. ---
**Author:** ![MacDoc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/macdoc/32/18696_2.png) [@MacDoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacDoc)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/76 "2025-03-17T02:29:37Z")
People? ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/77 "2025-03-17T02:30:20Z")
Vernacular is vernacular. When special little snowflakes have problems with it, then it’s fine just to ignore them in general, although we might cater to them individually. When there are _obvious_ problems, we should stop ourselves: this is “guys” and not the n-word. I don’t even want to use the n-word as an example, but we all know what the n-word is. It’s not even vernacular today. Are we suggesting that “guys” is going to be equally reprehensible in 20 years’ time? ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/78 "2025-03-17T02:31:26Z")
Women and girls collectively = womenfolk. An archaic word, but ready to be revived if needed. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/79 "2025-03-17T02:33:03Z")
Why is “kid” unobjectionable but “guys” not? Sharing a term with a goat is okay but not with a male? ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/80 "2025-03-17T02:34:19Z")
Oh, believe me, in person I’m long since resigned to it, however grudgingly. At least here is a forum where I can let out my feelings. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/81 "2025-03-17T02:35:59Z")
I’m offended by lots of words. The curse words flying around everywhere you go is very off-putting. I heard a woman say to a man at the pay window at the gas station tell the man “Get the fuck out of my window!” It never occured to her that hollering _fuck_ in public was not good. Especially as she was at her job. I hear awful fusses between men and women at grocery stores or the clinic. Sometimes it seems misogynistic. I hear black men calling each other the “N” word with a string of nasty words after. Do you think I would say to any of them “Umm, that word offends me?” Nope. _Guys_ doesn’t bother me. Heck I call my male cats, girls, sometimes. I grew up with a female cat, so I default to cats are female, dogs are male. Silly, I know. I’m gonna try removing it from my mouth. Because, I believe you if it bothers you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683.md?page=5)