# I'm a woman who doesn't like being called "guy"

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [March 16, 2025, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683 "2025-03-16T21:51:42Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 9

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/162 "2025-03-17T17:59:18Z")

</div>

> [@CairoCarol](#):
>
> Are people who aren’t men supposed to be offended?

I am not seeing anything but manufactured offense here.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/163 "2025-03-17T18:10:06Z")

</div>

Oh, I was hoping you meant our pets.

I call my pack of pets all sorts of group names.  
Usually it’s _critters_  
Occasionally I add an offensive slur to that. “As in f••king nasty critters!”

They don’t seem to mind.  
In fact, whatever I say to them I get puppy eyes and butt wagging.  
The cats are not quite so demonstrative.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/164 "2025-03-17T18:13:36Z")

</div>

In casual settings where “guys” works for men, I tend to go with “gals” for women. So far, no one’s knocked me out for it.

Even after being away from Philly for over 40 years (though I’m gearing up to move back soon), “youse” is still part of my vocabulary. Old habits die hard.

If I’m talking to a mixed crowd, you’ll probably hear me say something like, _“Yo, any of youse guys or gals know where I can score a solid hoagie or cheesesteak?”_

… and then my kids will say, _“dad, stop embarrassing us and talk normal.”_

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/165 "2025-03-17T18:21:57Z")

</div>

> [@Czarcasm](#):
>
> How many people actually think that guy can mean “man” or “woman”, that there is some sort of ambiguity involved here?

It’s almost like different words can mean different things in different contexts! Including, I don’t know, the words “man” and “woman” themselves! Amazing!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/166 "2025-03-17T18:25:24Z")

</div>

So, guy means “man” in this context, correct? All I am saying is that when one uses “guys” when addressing a large group of people, it would be nice if one knew that that the person was referring to all people, and not just be forced to assume such because of necessity and male-driven habit.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/167 "2025-03-17T18:26:53Z")

</div>

> [@CairoCarol](#):
>
> Like, if I say “Man, that movie was really great!”
> 
> Are people who aren’t men supposed to be offended?

It’s uncommon for people to casually use words that are “supposed to” be offensive. But fwiw, that phrase has never bothered me in any way.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/168 "2025-03-17T18:35:58Z")

</div>

I say, outloud “Man, oh man!” As an exclamation.  
Often.

I don’t know why.  
It may be a way to reduce curse words. Lots of children around here.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/169 "2025-03-17T18:41:32Z")

</div>

I am wondering if using “man” as a pejorative can be considered an advantage to men? 😁

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/170 "2025-03-17T18:41:53Z")

</div>

> [@TroutMan](#):
>
> I mean, you could read this thread and realize that some people have a problem with it, even if they don’t say so, and make adjustments to take that into account.

Some people have issues with lots of stuff, like using “literally” to mean “figuratively” - but language marches on. I gave you the example of the young woman who hated being called “black”- should we stop using that term now?

> [@kenobi\_65](#):
>
> Heck, even that word doesn’t have a universal meaning among native English speakers.

You make a interesting point.

> [@Whack-a-Mole](#):
>
> It is definitionally proper usage. Word meanings change over time, this is not a new thing and the people who make dictionaries do not care about political correctness. The definitions will change.
> 
> That said, if I was meeting @Johanna in person and I knew this was an issue I would make an effort to not use that word in that way.

Exactly. If you _know_ it is an issue, then try not to use it.

> [@ZipperJJ](#):
>
> Hasn’t “folks” been bandied around as a decent substitute?

I use it.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/171 "2025-03-17T18:43:58Z")

</div>

> [@TroutMan](#):
>
> After more thought, I think what bothers me is that “guys” is a male word that has become acceptable to use to refer to a group of men and women. It isn’t truly a gender-neutral word.  
> If someone asked “are you gay or straight” and I answered “I like guys,” no one interprets that as being bisexual.

Not that I disagree with your disappointment over the whole mess, but the usage you describe here is a different sense of the word (I’m assuming ‘I like people’ wouldn’t have conveyed the correct meaning) - the word has various meanings and some of them are more specifically gendered than others; pretty much like two different words that look and sound the same (not by accident of course).

I can’t think of another example of this specific phenomenon in English, but I bet there are some.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/172 "2025-03-17T18:45:54Z")

</div>

> [@DrDeth](#):
>
> Some people have issues with lots of stuff, like using “literally” to mean “figuratively”

That is a hill I am willing to fight and die on. Literally and figuratively are antonyms, not synonyms!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/173 "2025-03-17T18:48:24Z")

</div>

Would you describe it as terrible, or awful?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/174 "2025-03-17T18:48:29Z")

</div>

> [@DocCathode](#):
>
> That is a hill I am willing to fight and die on. Literally and figuratively are antonyms, not synonyms!

Which is totally fair. I dont expect you to use them as synonyms, but if you ran around correcting people loudly every time they used them as meaning more or less the same- you’d become unpopular. Myself, I try to use them old school, but I dont even wince anymore when the new usage is used.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/175 "2025-03-17T18:53:04Z")

</div>

> [@DrDeth](#):
>
> Which is totally fair. I dont expect you to use them as synonyms, but if you ran around correcting people loudly every time they used them as meaning more or less the same- you’d become unpopular

Certain things are worth fighting for. If I hear somebody misusing literally, I will nay I _must_ correct them!

I cannot think of any friends I have in realspace that misuse literally. If somebody misuses the word, and takes offense at being corrected or defends their misuse, we cannot be friends

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/176 "2025-03-17T18:56:10Z")

</div>

> [@Czarcasm](#):
>
> All I am saying is that when one uses “guys” when addressing a large group of people, it would be nice if one knew that that the person was referring to all people, and not just be forced to assume such because of necessity and male-driven habit.

…which is a situation I have _literally_ (and I am using that word literally) never encountered, because again, people use context when speaking.

It’s also pretty comical that you, a man, are trying to tell women who use a common word to refer to other women that _No! This word is actually offensive towards women and you just don’t know any better_.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/177 "2025-03-17T18:57:45Z")

</div>

Let me know when that actually happens.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/178 "2025-03-17T19:05:19Z")

</div>

If someone addressing a mixed crowd uses the word ‘guys’, and consciously or otherwise, is only really interested in addressing the subset of the crowd who are men, I don’t know that requiring them to use a different word is going to fix them.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/179 "2025-03-17T19:06:25Z")

</div>

As a man, I would not presume to judge what behaviors are deemed offensive towards women by women. I feel my role in this debate is to sit back, listen, and learn.

That said, I think it’s telling that in a thread where the OP and several other women have said they don’t like being referred to as a guy, there are several men who are trying to justify their doing so by saying that they’ve never had a woman object to this.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/180 "2025-03-17T19:09:14Z")

</div>

That’s fair and I agree. There’s not very much point in trying to persuade someone that they are not in fact offended.

It is entirely possible for the word to be used in a way that the speaker intends to be entirely non-gendered, but still be perceived as gendered by the listener - because we’re talking about communication, which is not just about what you think you said, but about what is heard and understood.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sylvanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Sylvanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylvanz)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2025, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683/181 "2025-03-17T19:18:10Z")

</div>

Preach it!

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683.md?page=8)

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-a-woman-who-doesnt-like-being-called-guy/1015683.md?page=10)
