# I'm addicted to Crack(ed) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 30, 2011, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567 "2011-11-30T16:02:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2011, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567/41 "2011-12-04T02:55:42Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > I’ve heard of Cracked but never been. Can someone who is familiar with the site link a few articles that are typical of the site, so that I can see what it’s like? I don’t want to pick at random because I could end up picking sucky articles and getting the wrong feel for the site. Thanks in advance, I hope it’s not too much trouble. i have to echo a couple of others here. are you seriously now asking people to\* surf the web for you\*? this is getting surreal. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2011, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567/42 "2011-12-04T03:53:23Z")
[15 Unintentionally Perverted Toys for Children](http://www.cracked.com/article_18494_15-unintentionally-perverted-toys-children_p2.html) ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2011, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567/43 "2011-12-04T06:50:47Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > No offense, **Opal** , but there is no article “typical” of the site, and even if there was, why should we go and do your surfing for you? Jesus, just go over and check it out for yourself. > > Besides, your idea of a “sucky article” might be totally different from my idea of one. > > Christ. :rolleyes: I just figured a couple of people would have favorites that they’d post and it wouldn’t be a big deal. No need to go all rolleyes on me. It’s a huge site, I need a starting point. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2011, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567/44 "2011-12-04T06:52:26Z")
> [@expectopatronum](#): > > i have to echo a couple of others here. are you seriously now asking people to\* surf the web for you\*? this is getting surreal. No, I’m asking for people who frequent the site to post some of their favorites. As a starting point. Is that really such a huge request? I mean if you don’t feel like doing it just move on. It’s not that big a deal. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2011, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567/45 "2011-12-04T16:42:49Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > I just figured a couple of people would have favorites that they’d post and it wouldn’t be a big deal. No need to go all rolleyes on me. It’s a huge site, I need a starting point. Is the home page too daunting of a starting point? Really now, maybe the rolleyes wasn’t necessary, but this request is just lazy. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2011, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567/46 "2011-12-04T17:39:01Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > but this request is just lazy. IMHO no it isn’t—it’s a perfectly reasonable request. Plus I’d be interested to know what other people consider their favorite articles. As a college teacher with finals week nearing, I appreciated the recent [The 7 Dumbest Things Students Do When Cramming for Exams](http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-7-dumbest-things-students-do-when-cramming-exams/). I’m certainly not claiming it’s the best of Cracked, but it’s a good example of their “good advice given snarkily/humorously” kinds of articles. ---
**Author:** ![constanze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@constanze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/constanze)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2011, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567/47 "2011-12-04T18:04:39Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > I just figured a couple of people would have favorites that they’d post and it wouldn’t be a big deal. No need to go all rolleyes on me. It’s a huge site, I need a starting point. If I started linking to my favourite articles (many of which I’ve saved off-line), you’d get a list of scores and scores of articles. I don’t see how that would be more helpful than just using the start site. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2011, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567/48 "2011-12-04T18:28:32Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > IMHO no it isn’t—it’s a perfectly reasonable request. Plus I’d be interested to know what other people consider their favorite articles. > > As a college teacher with finals week nearing, I appreciated the recent [The 7 Dumbest Things Students Do When Cramming for Exams](http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-7-dumbest-things-students-do-when-cramming-exams/). I’m certainly not claiming it’s the best of Cracked, but it’s a good example of their “good advice given snarkily/humorously” kinds of articles. Thank you. And thanks for not overreacting to a simple request that was easily ignored if one didn’t feel like doing it. ---
**Author:** ![Quimby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/22d042/32.png) [@Quimby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quimby)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567/49 "2011-12-06T01:55:39Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > I just figured a couple of people would have favorites that they’d post and it wouldn’t be a big deal. No need to go all rolleyes on me. It’s a huge site, I need a starting point. Here are a few I like (that I don’t think have been mentioned already): [Here](http://www.cracked.com/article/18367_6-insane-fan-theories-that-actually-make-great-movies-better/) [Here](http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-great-sex-advice-books-people-who-hate-sex/) [Here](http://www.cracked.com/article_19268_5-ways-your-telecom-company-screwing-you.html) [Here](http://www.cracked.com/article_17607_the-5-circles-baffling-web-comic-hell.html) [Here](http://www.cracked.com/article_18503_how-biotech-company-almost-killed-world-with-booze.html) ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567/50 "2011-12-06T02:21:51Z")
THanks, I’ll have a look. ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567/51 "2011-12-06T09:57:13Z")
> [@tnetennba](#): > > I was up all night once reading the articles by John Cheese. Particularly the autobiographical ones (quitting drinking, quitting smoking, what it’s like to be poor) are flat out good writing. If he published a book, I’d buy it. > > [John Cheese | Cracked.com - America's Only Humor Site | Cracked.com](http://www.cracked.com/members/John%20Cheese/) They are very good writing, and the underlying story of a man overcoming his abusive childhood to forge a good life for himself and the ones he loves is uplifting as all heck. So I feel like a bit of a schmuck when I say that there’s something about the overall tone - of a guy who’s discovered the secret to happy life and is doing us the favour of sharing it - that rubs me the wrong way. Because the secrets are kind of obvious: don’t be an alcoholic; don’t marry someone you don’t love; don’t have kids you can’t afford. Wow, really? It’s like watching someone run into a bar and shout: “Hey guys, guys! Check this out - apparently you don’t have to spend your life nailing your penis to a plank after all! Who knew? And that whole douching with chilli oil routine we all do - we don’t have to do that either! Take it from me - you need to know this stuff.” Like I say, I feel kind of shitty about this reaction, because it’s clear he grew up an environment where metaphorical penis-nailing and chilli-douching were the only role models and has really had to learn some big lessons late in life - and all power to him. But I don’t need to be lectured about how not to spend my life drunk. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567/52 "2011-12-06T14:21:34Z")
IMO the article about what it’s like to be poor wasn’t about “here’s how not to be poor.” It was more about “you probably have a lot of very incorrect assumptions about poor people and I am going to fix that for you.” ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567/53 "2011-12-06T14:37:58Z")
I’ll supply one of my favorites: [The 5 Creepiest Serial Killers Who Were Animals](http://www.cracked.com/article_18483_the-5-creepiest-serial-killers-who-were-animals.html). Gustave the crocodile is of course #1, and the article concludes with: “And now he’s just alive, out there. A living, breathing, scream-eating dinosaur that is so sick of his own immortality that he passes the time by destroying life whenever he sees it. And there’s nothing we can do to stop him.” Regarding Seanbaby, my favorite line of his comes from [one the articles on his old site](http://www.seanbaby.com/comicads/comicads30.shtml), an article about the insane prizes they promised you if you would shill their little jars of salve to your friends and neighbors: “Starting now, the rest of my life is narrowed down to two goals: Goal one is selling you some salve or whatever, and goal two is killing gorillas from the back of my live pony. If you see anyone at any time doing anything else, that’s not me.” ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567/54 "2011-12-06T15:01:24Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > Thank you. And thanks for not overreacting to a simple request that was easily ignored if one didn’t feel like doing it. Pretty snarky for someone who has changed. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567/55 "2011-12-06T15:53:42Z")
> [@jali](#): > > Pretty snarky for someone who has changed. ??? How do you get snark out of that? I was saying thanks for not overreacting. Also, I never said I’d changed every single iota of my being. I was specifically talking about my early days on the board when I was prone to emotional meltdowns and flameouts and all kinds of other things–all of which are things I don’t do anymore–and all of which were long before you even joined the board. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567/56 "2011-12-06T16:05:00Z")
OK, let’s tone down the drama, please. Don’t drag things all over the board from other threads and if you want to calls someone out, you know the way to the pit. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567/57 "2011-12-07T02:44:57Z")
> [@Quimby](#): > > Here are a few I like (that I don’t think have been mentioned already): > > [Here](http://www.cracked.com/article/18367_6-insane-fan-theories-that-actually-make-great-movies-better/) > > [Here](http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-great-sex-advice-books-people-who-hate-sex/) > > [Here](http://www.cracked.com/article_19268_5-ways-your-telecom-company-screwing-you.html) > > [Here](http://www.cracked.com/article_17607_the-5-circles-baffling-web-comic-hell.html) > > [Here](http://www.cracked.com/article_18503_how-biotech-company-almost-killed-world-with-booze.html) I’ve read some of those and was highly entertained. Far more than just stumbling in and landing on articles at random. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Quimby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/22d042/32.png) [@Quimby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quimby)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567/58 "2011-12-07T03:03:26Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > I’ve read some of those and was highly entertained. Far more than just stumbling in and landing on articles at random. Thank you. Welcome! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567/59 "2011-12-07T08:02:27Z")
Some jackass made a [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=616430) about the best Cracked article not long ago - check it out, the geezer knows what he’s talking about. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567/60 "2011-12-07T08:21:41Z")
I’ll also add that my favourite article right is [5 Self-Defense Books for Women Who Want to Lose a Fight.](http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-self-defense-books-women-who-want-to-lose-fight/) Kick to the dick! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-addicted-to-crack-ed/604567.md?page=4)