# I'm Afraid For My Daughter **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 31, 2018, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-for-my-daughter/826965 "2018-12-31T05:09:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2019, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-for-my-daughter/826965/81 "2019-02-12T02:18:11Z")
> [@andros](#): > > Just want to chime in as a mental health professional to note that while it \*is \*the case that more women than men are diagnosed with BPD, there is _no_ correlation between personality disorders _or_ suicidality and menstrual cycle. ??? BPD isn’t a personality disorder. BPD and Schizophrenia are associated with larger mood swings with menstrual cycle. More importantly, menstrual cycle is associated with large swings in pharmacokinetics, including for lithium in some people. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2019, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-for-my-daughter/826965/82 "2019-02-12T03:19:12Z")
> [@Melbourne](#): > > ??? BPD isn’t a personality disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder isn’t a personality disorder? Is that what you’re saying? ---
**Author:** ![Newtosite](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/newtosite/32/8623_2.png) [@Newtosite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Newtosite)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2019, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-for-my-daughter/826965/83 "2019-02-12T06:00:37Z")
Very sorry about the loss of Daisy. She was obviously well loved. I lost my first dog when I was 14 (she was 16). My condolences to you and your family…especially Kim. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2019, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-for-my-daughter/826965/84 "2019-02-12T06:37:16Z")
Just a father of a child with anxiety issues. Again, so sorry that this is happening to your daughter. The following may not be applicable to your child, but I post it in hopes that it helps someone. When my daughter did a teen group therapy 8 week course for anxiety, and I did the parent counseling paired session, the cure was always about inoculating against the anxieties. There were a couple of perfectionists kids in the group. Their therapy was to “fail”. By “failing” in a mindful planned way, one learns to not take it so seriously and to overcome the failure. For those with anxiety, the brain is wired to overestimate the potential negative impact and grossly underestimate the ability to cope. It was a fantastic program that really helped my daughter. The program’s goal was to help kids NOT go thru life with these issues. Group therapy is helpful for some kids because a) shows other kids with the same challenges, b) not 1:1, c) in it together. As I understand it, sports is a really good tool for kids and especially girls with anxiety. And as I understand, an alarmingly high percentage of confident young girls develop anxiety as puberty/middle school hit. That was the case with middle girl. And as I understand it, sports involvement through this period is very helpful. In sports, you’re never the best, you lose at least some of the time, and this “exposure” or “innoculation” keeps people on an even keel. Message from Venus Williams,: [https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/06/opinion/venus-williams-self-confidence.html?action=click&module=Opinion&pgtype=Homepage](https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/06/opinion/venus-williams-self-confidence.html?action=click&module=Opinion&pgtype=Homepage) ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2019, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-for-my-daughter/826965/85 "2019-02-12T18:00:06Z")
> [@China\_Guy](#): > > That was the case with middle girl. And as I understand it, sports involvement through this period is very helpful. In sports, you’re never the best, you lose at least some of the time, and this “exposure” or “innoculation” keeps people on an even keel. Those of us who’ve spent our life sucking at sports might benefit more from someone taking the time to find one in which we might win occasionally. I got really mad when I realized that my body type is completely wrong for the kind of exercises we did in school but very common among weight lifters. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2019, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-for-my-daughter/826965/86 "2019-02-12T22:09:45Z")
> [@Melbourne](#): > > ??? BPD isn’t a personality disorder. > > BPD and Schizophrenia are associated with larger mood swings with menstrual cycle. More importantly, menstrual cycle is associated with large swings in pharmacokinetics, including for lithium in some people. Maybe you are thinking “BPD” "= “Bipolar Disorder”? If so I think you’re right (though I’m no expert on the topic). But the topic of the thread is “Borderline Personality Disorder”. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2019, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-for-my-daughter/826965/87 "2019-02-13T01:22:46Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2019, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-for-my-daughter/826965/88 "2019-04-04T18:25:48Z")
Update: _“Pam”_ just called to tell me she got a full-ride merit scholarship to the Kansas City Art Institute (8 semesters, $76k). Walt Disney was a KCAI alumnus. I told _Pam_ she needs to create an iconic anthropomorphic character like Micky Mouse. I suggested J\*\*\* Jellyfish, but I don’t think she was overly enthusiastic about that idea. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2019, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-for-my-daughter/826965/89 "2019-04-04T19:08:58Z")
**Tibby** , I’m reading this thread for the first time. Words fail me. My heart is breaking for you and your daughters. And the other posters who have mental health and other issues with their children. I don’t have kids, and I don’t see how y’all do it. My hat is off to every one of you. **Tibby** , Congrats to Pam and I hope she does well at her new school. So sorry about your doggie, too. ☹ **Nava** , this is a wonderful post! I hope Tibby shared it with Pam. Gave me goosebumps. 🙂 > [@Nava](#): > > … > Re. perfection in art: visiting El Prado gave to several young Spanish painters, all of them previously trained in the “academic” style of the times, a horrible shock. None of them was going to be anywhere near good enough to clean the brushes of the master of masters, Diego Velázquez. So each of them set out on separate and parallel journeys to explore paths Velázquez never traveled. The group included Dalí, Miró and your daughter’s beloved Picasso. None of them “was born knowing”; all had to learn and grow (even Velázquez). ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2019, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-for-my-daughter/826965/90 "2019-04-04T19:09:27Z")
> [@Tibby](#): > > Update: _“Pam”_ just called to tell me she got a full-ride merit scholarship to the Kansas City Art Institute (8 semesters, $76k). That’s fantastic news! I bet your heart is bursting with pride. That’s an amazing accomplishment and I hope she feels validated about her talent. Hopefully this will smooth out her journey a bit. I’m sure there will still be lots of bumps along the way, but hopefully she won’t be as close to the cliff’s edge as she was. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2019, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-for-my-daughter/826965/91 "2019-04-04T21:15:46Z")
> [@Tibby](#): > > Update: _“Pam”_ just called to tell me she got a full-ride merit scholarship to the Kansas City Art Institute (8 semesters, $76k). That’s great news. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2019, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-for-my-daughter/826965/92 "2019-04-04T21:41:38Z")
Art could be her ticket to the world! I saw tremendous raw talent in her work, schooling can only refine that to a sharp blade. I really, REALLY liked the paint box painting. The paint box was well-used, and it told me somebody had so much fun, and used the Hell out of those paints to create something! ~VOW [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-for-my-daughter/826965.md?page=4)