# I'm afraid my wife must die **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 17, 2008, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-my-wife-must-die/473153 "2008-11-17T19:03:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-my-wife-must-die/473153/1 "2008-11-17T19:03:41Z")
Let me explain. A couple of months ago, Mrs. Magill (a woman whom I love and adore) asked me whether I’d like to see Mama Mia. “Isn’t that the ABBA musical?” I replied. I knew exactly what it was, and had dreaded its release. You see, it took until the mid eighties for me to rid my brane of ABBA songs. They’re so fucking catchy. “Yeah - did you want to see it?” “Uh…” Crap - she was going to call in her chit for my making her sit through Daredevil. That’s not fair. I had to sit through Daredevil, too. “The girls wanted to see it, and I didn’t want to go with them if you were wanting to see it.” An escape route! “Oh, no. You go with them, and have fun. You haven’t had a night out without me, Fang, and Spike in a while. Go have a grown-up evening.” ## So they go and have a fun time. I wrangle a five year old and a one year old, but at least there was no ABBA involved. Win-win. Last month, she bought the sound track. She only plays it in her car. Unfortunately, this means that Fang get regular exposure, and he’s loving it. I’ve tried to reason with him. “Look son,” I tell him, “it’s like pure sugar.” “I like sugar.” “I know that, but you know how sugar is bad for you and will rot your teeth? ABBA will rot your brain. Listen to your Police and BOC songs when you’re not in Mama’s car. Trust me, you’ll thanks me in ten years when you’re not humming Dancing Queen.” ## “Mama says you’re silly, Da.” And he walks off singing, “Money, money, money…” Poor kid. Last weekend we went to Raleigh for my High School reunion. Both Fang and Spike were clamoring for Mama Mia, so Mrs. Magill put it on. I’m not complaining. We took her car, she gets to pick the music. Today, I caught myself humming Dancing Queen, Mama Mia, and Honey Honey. I love my wife more than you could imagine, but I afraid she’s going to have to die. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-my-wife-must-die/473153/2 "2008-11-17T19:06:39Z")
_falls off chair laughing_ No chance you couldn’t burn your own CD and sneakily make a switch every time she goes for the player? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-my-wife-must-die/473153/3 "2008-11-17T19:08:47Z")
Must you mention the actual song names in your thread? You’re going to infect us as well. Couldn’t you just say something like 4th track of the 2nd abbam? Abbam? What the… I meant to say album. Aaaargh! I’m afraid Maus must die. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-my-wife-must-die/473153/4 "2008-11-17T19:10:45Z")
I love ABBA! Feel no shame in your ABBA joy. Sing, “Gimme gimme gimme a man before midnight” with pride, man! ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-my-wife-must-die/473153/5 "2008-11-17T19:13:12Z")
Love this story. I’ve never understood the love for ABBA. (although I actually am the dancing queen) ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-my-wife-must-die/473153/6 "2008-11-17T19:16:03Z")
My husband and I regularly use our kids on the musical battleground. This weekend, in an effort to bring our kids closer to their Australian roots, he introduced them to youtube videos of [Jimmy Barnes](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZXpqhXSDrE&feature=related). I had a 2 year old nearly blowing out his vocal cords, screeching and jumping around with his “microphone” (a hockey stick). I retaliated by making them all listen to Air Supply for two hours. At least it calmed the kids down - my little guy fell asleep on the floor. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-my-wife-must-die/473153/7 "2008-11-17T19:16:07Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > I love ABBA! Feel no shame in your ABBA joy. Sing, “Gimme gimme gimme a man before midnight” with pride, man! Damn you. {Ads **pbbth** to The List.} ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-my-wife-must-die/473153/8 "2008-11-17T19:16:35Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > I love ABBA! Feel no shame in your ABBA joy. Sing, “Gimme gimme gimme a man **before** midnight” with pride, man! That’s “after”. :smack: I just corrected an ABBA song by memory, didn’t I? ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-my-wife-must-die/473153/9 "2008-11-17T19:23:06Z")
> [@C3](#): > > My husband and I regularly use our kids on the musical battleground. This weekend, in an effort to bring our kids closer to their Australian roots, he introduced them to youtube videos of [Jimmy Barnes](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZXpqhXSDrE&feature=related). I had a 2 year old nearly blowing out his vocal cords, screeching and jumping around with his “microphone” (a hockey stick). I retaliated by making them all listen to Air Supply for two hours. At least it calmed the kids down - my little guy fell asleep on the floor. You’ve got Australian roots and you haven’t exposed your kids to the Wiggles? My husband almost blew a gasket when our son (then 3) got hopelessly hooked on the Wiggles. He wanted the CDs, DVDs and all the other paraphenalia. Thankfully, that phase didn’t last too long. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-my-wife-must-die/473153/10 "2008-11-17T19:24:32Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > Damn you. > > {Ads **pbbth** to The List.} Add me to your list, guy. The discount movie theatre at Santa Ana MainPlace mall was showing it last week. I brought **kaylasmom** and Michaela there on Veteran’s Day, and we all saw it for three bucks. **kaylasmom** was surprised how many of those songs had been ABBA material back in the day, without her realizing it. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-my-wife-must-die/473153/11 "2008-11-17T19:26:12Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > That’s “after”. > :smack: I just corrected an ABBA song by memory, didn’t I? :smack: I knew that. It was a finger fart.\* \*As opposed to a brain fart. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-my-wife-must-die/473153/12 "2008-11-17T19:35:20Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > That’s “after”. > :smack: I just corrected an ABBA song by memory, didn’t I? Don’t feel bad. You just beat me to it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-my-wife-must-die/473153/13 "2008-11-17T21:18:01Z")
[QUOTE=Enola Gay] You’ve got Australian roots and you haven’t exposed your kids to the Wiggles? My husband almost blew a gasket when our son (then 3) got hopelessly hooked on the Wiggles. He wanted the CDs, DVDs and all the other paraphenalia. Thankfully, that phase didn’t last too long. [/QUOTE] My kids actually don’t like the Wiggles that much…too baby for their tastes. Their favorite bands are Jet and Powderfinger (which the little one pronounces as Powerminger). My husband is much better at the inculcation than I am. I may have to follow Mrs. Magill’s lead and pull out the ABBA. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-my-wife-must-die/473153/14 "2008-11-17T21:20:44Z")
I say it loud and proud… KNOWING ME, KNOWING YOU- UH HUH, THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO… ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-my-wife-must-die/473153/15 "2008-11-17T21:24:48Z")
> [@C3](#): > > … At least it calmed the kids down - my little guy fell asleep on the floor. He was just feigning death. I do the same thing when someone plays Air Supply. ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-my-wife-must-die/473153/16 "2008-11-17T21:40:34Z")
I love ABBA, but I refuse to see Mama Mia. I. hate. musicals. With the firey passion of a thermite reaction. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-my-wife-must-die/473153/17 "2008-11-17T21:46:38Z")
A friend of mine had to go see that with his wife. When he came in on Monday he was a broken man. Just broke. Poor bastard. ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-my-wife-must-die/473153/18 "2008-11-17T21:51:53Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > He was just feigning death. I do the same thing when someone plays Air Supply. Dude? That one there’s not feigning. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-my-wife-must-die/473153/19 "2008-11-17T21:59:27Z")
> [@Omegaman](#): > > A friend of mine had to go see that with his wife. When he came in on Monday he was a broken man. Just broke. Poor bastard. I read this comment thinking I was in **Skald** ’s rape thread and thought “wow, that must be some scene.” After realizing that I’m in the ABBA thread it’s hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2008, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-my-wife-must-die/473153/20 "2008-11-17T22:04:25Z")
Sounds like you met your Waterloo! Oh… \ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-afraid-my-wife-must-die/473153.md?page=2)