# I'm an idiot **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 1, 2012, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-an-idiot/611386 "2012-02-01T03:30:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-an-idiot/611386/1 "2012-02-01T03:30:37Z")
I cut the crap out of my finger with a cuisenart hand blender, so I can’t type. See you in a couple weeks. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-an-idiot/611386/2 "2012-02-01T03:32:35Z")
Did you go to the ER? Is it okay? Can’t you use some kind of voice-recognition thing? I mean, not posting to the Dope just seems so drastic! ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-an-idiot/611386/3 "2012-02-01T03:42:08Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > … I can’t type. … I think there’s a paradox here, but I can’t put my finger on it. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-an-idiot/611386/4 "2012-02-01T03:43:13Z")
> [@Giles](#): > > I think there’s a paradox here, but I can’t put my finger on it. A most cutting remark. ---
**Author:** ![RadicalPi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/radicalpi/32/9806_2.png) [@RadicalPi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RadicalPi)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-an-idiot/611386/5 "2012-02-01T03:43:31Z")
Type with your other hand, young grasshopper. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-an-idiot/611386/6 "2012-02-01T03:47:01Z")
And, for the record, we are all idiots here. Don’t take it personally. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-an-idiot/611386/7 "2012-02-01T03:50:03Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > I cut the crap out of my finger with a cuisenart hand blender, so I can’t type. See you in a couple weeks. On the plus side, you weren’t using the Cuisinart penis blender. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-an-idiot/611386/8 "2012-02-01T03:52:48Z")
Tape it up man, Hunt and Peck. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-an-idiot/611386/9 "2012-02-01T05:36:19Z")
Ah, the “tape it and walk it” defense. I miss 1971! ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-an-idiot/611386/10 "2012-02-01T14:10:50Z")
Yeah, ER and stiches, most comonly used phrase in an ER: “I thought it was unplugged.” I can obviously type, but its a pain. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-an-idiot/611386/11 "2012-02-01T15:14:58Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > And, for the record, we are all idiots here. Don’t take it personally. Hey! I resent that…oh. [Nevermind](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=261754). Wow, that was almost 8 years ago. Can’t nobody here say I didn’t warn y’all! Aw **madmonk** y, do not fret. I once had my fingertip chewed off by a rabbit. I was 6 at the time. Even then I felt stupid about it. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-an-idiot/611386/12 "2012-02-01T19:15:28Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > I cut the crap out of my finger with a cuisenart hand blender, so I can’t type. See you in a couple weeks. One finger and a nose to hit the space bar is all you need. ---
**Author:** ![WotNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@WotNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WotNot)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-an-idiot/611386/13 "2012-02-01T19:26:40Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > I cut the crap out of my finger with a cuisenart hand blender, so I can’t type. See you in a couple weeks. How odd: I did the exact same thing on Monday (though less severely, by the sound of it). “That’ll be why they call them hand blenders,” I thought, as I tried to keep the blood out of the mixing bowl. There are some lessons that you’d think you could avoid learning the hard way, aren’t there? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-an-idiot/611386/14 "2012-02-01T19:29:51Z")
Oh Jeez. And I just bought the “Ninja” version - it has three blades! I’m a goner. . . ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-an-idiot/611386/15 "2012-02-01T20:10:04Z")
I cut my finger to the bone and spent a big chunk of the evening in a DC ER, not exactly that sympathetic to my injury compared to what comes in most nights. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-an-idiot/611386/16 "2012-02-01T20:10:11Z")
> [@Dallas\_Jones](#): > > One finger and a nose to hit the space bar is all you need. A dull pencil in the mouth works better. Don’t use your nose. You get too many boogers on the keys. ---
**Author:** ![WotNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@WotNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WotNot)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-an-idiot/611386/17 "2012-02-01T20:28:41Z")
> [@Duckster](#): > > A dull pencil in the mouth works better. Don’t use your nose. You get too many boogers on the keys. And, of course, there’s always the risk of slipping, and driving the pencil through the base of your skull and into your brain. An improbable mischance, to be sure, but these silly little accidents do sometimes happen… ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-an-idiot/611386/18 "2012-02-01T20:31:37Z")
I’m an idiot too… Feel better! ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-an-idiot/611386/19 "2012-02-01T20:38:43Z")
This OP reminds me of the “Keyboard not found. Press F1 to continue” error message, but in kind of the opposite way. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-an-idiot/611386/20 "2012-02-01T20:49:22Z")
Have you tried duct tape? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-an-idiot/611386.md?page=2)