# I'm ashamed to admit I don't know how to grill **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 23, 2014, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-ashamed-to-admit-i-dont-know-how-to-grill/684377 "2014-03-23T19:52:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-ashamed-to-admit-i-dont-know-how-to-grill/684377/41 "2014-03-24T20:57:49Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Your newbie error was using lighter fluid at all. You know you’re basically soaking your food in gasoline? Well that’s a bit of an overstatement, isn’t it. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-ashamed-to-admit-i-dont-know-how-to-grill/684377/42 "2014-03-24T21:01:14Z")
Most of the lighter fluid burns off by the time the coals are white. I never put the meat on until then anyhow. The newer method with the starter chimney sounds better and I want to try it. But a lot of great burgers and steaks came off our parent’s simple charcoal grills. I can recall my dads bag of charcoal and lighter fluid. He didn’t like the self starting charcoal. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-ashamed-to-admit-i-dont-know-how-to-grill/684377/43 "2014-03-24T21:04:57Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Your newbie error was using lighter fluid at all. You know you’re basically soaking your food in gasoline? No, you basically aren’t. I’d rather use a chimney, but let’s not go overboard. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-ashamed-to-admit-i-dont-know-how-to-grill/684377/44 "2014-03-24T21:09:03Z")
I have an electric charcoal starter that works pretty well. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-ashamed-to-admit-i-dont-know-how-to-grill/684377/45 "2014-03-24T21:12:34Z")
I’m going to 3rd or 4th the chimney starter if you’re using charcoal. Easy to light, very reliable. Definitely put the coals on one side, and when you turn the food, monitor what’s going on, if one side or item is cooking faster than others, move it away from the coals. Thermometers are great tools for keeping yourself from over/undercooking. If you have to cut into the food once or twice to check it for doneness, go ahead and do it, right now you’re learning. The main thing is to pay attention to what’s happening with the food, so that you don’t have to cut into it next time. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-ashamed-to-admit-i-dont-know-how-to-grill/684377/46 "2014-03-24T23:36:52Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > No, you basically aren’t. > > I’d rather use a chimney,\*\* but let’s not go overboard\*\*. Hey, don’t discount [overboard grilling](http://i.imgur.com/1pN9Jxs.jpg). It just takes some redneck ingenuity. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-ashamed-to-admit-i-dont-know-how-to-grill/684377/47 "2014-03-24T23:46:49Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I have to say, I’ve _never_ found the so-called “finger method” to be anywhere near accurate. It basically can tell you three levels of doneness: raw, well-done, and somewhere in between. I have never found that to work well for distinguishing between rare, medium rare, medium, and medium well. If you cook enough steaks, you can get pretty good at judging doneness by poking them with a finger, but I don’t find it corresponds at all with ring-finger-to-thumb equals medium, middle-finger-to-thumb equals medium rare, and fore-finger-to-thumb equals rare. Plus, I’m not convinced that tension (in the fleshy area near the thumb) is the same among different individuals, and even in the same individual, that tension can vary quite a bit, depending on how relaxed you are and how firmly you are pressing your fingers together. Grill enough, and you can just sort of use the Force to tell if they’re done if you’ve paid attention to heat and time. That said, the one maxim that’s stood me in good stead is “If I wonder if it may be done, it is, and I should take it off the heat immediately.” Most people’s issue with grilling is overcooking, not undercooking in my experience, especially with hamburgers and steaks. If you’re really worried, buy a [Thermapen](http://www.thermoworks.com/products/thermapen/)and use it religiously. It has a 3 second read time, which lets you get the temp very quickly, is accurate to 0.7 degrees (i.e. it says 97.0, and the temp is somewhere between 96.3 and 97.7), and the actual thermocouple is in the very end of the probe- only 1/8" needs to be immersed/inserted for an accurate reading. And… if you’re grilling burgers, make them with an indentation in the middle- as the meat shrinks up, that’ll help them level out, rather than get that screwy convex homemade burger shape that so many have. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2014, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-ashamed-to-admit-i-dont-know-how-to-grill/684377/48 "2014-03-24T23:57:57Z")
I’ve grilled a handful of times. The last time I tried it on a propane stove I was cooking 6 hamburger patties. The patties dripped so much that the fats created a small fire in the bottom of the grill, raising the temperature from a controlled 350F to an out of control 600F and making it near impossible for me to move the hamburgers out of the way w/o burning my arm hair. How do people deal with that problem? edited: I’m so new to it that I didn’t know this was a common problem with a name. flare-ups. ---
**Author:** ![Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a9a28c/32.png) [@Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oslo_Ostragoth)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-ashamed-to-admit-i-dont-know-how-to-grill/684377/49 "2014-03-25T00:00:45Z")
OK, I’ll start the war: > [@Superdude](#): > > But the majority of people that I hang out with seem to like medium-well to well-done. You need a better class of friends. Anything beyond medium is a crime against carnivoreology. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-ashamed-to-admit-i-dont-know-how-to-grill/684377/50 "2014-03-25T00:02:27Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > I’ve grilled a handful of times. The last time I tried it on a propane stove I was cooking 6 hamburger patties. The patties dripped so much that the fats created a small fire in the bottom of the grill, raising the temperature from a controlled 350F to an out of control 600F and making it near impossible for me to move the hamburgers out of the way w/o burning my arm hair. > > How do people deal with that problem? > > edited: I’m so new to it that I didn’t know this was a common problem with a name. flare-ups. Man up. Or use charcoal. Put foil on the grill. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-ashamed-to-admit-i-dont-know-how-to-grill/684377/51 "2014-03-25T00:05:56Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > I’ve grilled a handful of times. The last time I tried it on a propane stove I was cooking 6 hamburger patties. The patties dripped so much that the fats created a small fire in the bottom of the grill, raising the temperature from a controlled 350F to an out of control 600F and making it near impossible for me to move the hamburgers out of the way w/o burning my arm hair. > > How do people deal with that problem? > > edited: I’m so new to it that I didn’t know this was a common problem with a name. flare-ups. Keeping the lid on helps. Using a spray bottle of water helps, too. If it’s still prone to flaring up, consider using two stages in your propane. That’s what I do at my friend’s house when I make wings on his propane grill. It’s just impossible to cook them without starting a fire, so I bring them up to temp on one side, and finish on the other. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-ashamed-to-admit-i-dont-know-how-to-grill/684377/52 "2014-03-25T16:31:12Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > Y’know, there’s a massive fan base for brining and I don’t understand why, unless it’s a matter of widely varying expectations. I think it’s like soaking wood chips/chunks. Water is a great heat sink and can control temperature better than some cooks can. I never do it but I certainly understand how a chicken that is 65% water as opposed to 50% water will cook more evenly assuming minimal work. Of course if I want minimal work, I’m not grilling/barbequeing. I earn my bourbon on the rocks those days. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-ashamed-to-admit-i-dont-know-how-to-grill/684377/53 "2014-03-25T17:06:56Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > I think it’s like soaking wood chips/chunks. No soaking wood chunks! (Well, you can soak wood chunks, but it doesn’t really do much–the water barely penetrates the wood at all, even if you leave the wood in a bucket of water for a month.) The wood chips I could understand more, but soaked or unsoaked, they do tend to make a bit more bitter of a smoke than wood chunks. ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-ashamed-to-admit-i-dont-know-how-to-grill/684377/54 "2014-03-25T17:12:35Z")
To fully become one with the Zen that is grilling, one should start at the most basic level. Acquire some raw meat, any kind, and salt and black pepper. Retreat to the most remote location you can find - away from the light pollution, air pollution, noise pollution, etc. Time this so that you’re tired and hungry and it’s nearly twilight. Dig a small hole for the fire. Gather up some dry twigs and some larger dry limbs and them some green limbs and start a fire, taking all of the necessary precautions, of course. Remember, you can eat until you get the fire going well. If you can’t, you’ll go hungry. While the flames are evolving into coals, rub the salt and pepper on the meat. Weave the green limbs into a grill. When there are only coals left, put the grill over the hole and the meat on the grill. When you’re half-way to the ultimate in hungry, flip the meat over. You’ll know when. When your appetite wins out - stab it with a knife, lift it up and bite a piece off of one corner. While you’re chewing, lean back and stare up at the stars. You are one with the fire and the meat and the stars. And a cold beer. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-ashamed-to-admit-i-dont-know-how-to-grill/684377/55 "2014-03-25T17:14:07Z")
I brined a couple of turkeys once and then smoked it in my charcoal grill and it was the best damn turkey I’ve had in my life. Especially for a bland meat like turkey brining really kicks up the flavor all the way through, not just on the outside, and it also helps keep it very moist. Otherwise, Something like turkey breast tends to dry out very quickly. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-ashamed-to-admit-i-dont-know-how-to-grill/684377/56 "2014-03-25T17:23:54Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > I brined a couple of turkeys once and then smoked it in my charcoal grill and it was the best damn turkey I’ve had in my life. Especially for a bland meat like turkey brining really kicks up the flavor all the way through, not just on the outside, and it also helps keep it very moist. Otherwise, Something like turkey breast tends to dry out very quickly. And, I have to say, the only way my parents (God bless them) make turkey breast that is edible is through brining. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-ashamed-to-admit-i-dont-know-how-to-grill/684377/57 "2014-03-25T17:53:23Z")
[“Hey! Look what Zog do!”](http://www.pinterest.com/pin/270286415109334242/) ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2014, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-ashamed-to-admit-i-dont-know-how-to-grill/684377/58 "2014-03-25T21:11:55Z")
AFAIC, there is no shame in admitting that you don’t know how to do something - especially if you also ask for help in learning how to do it. There are very few things that I enjoy more than asking people for help and then learning how to do stuff that I previously did not know. So, … please keep on asking and learning. I wish you the very best of luck! Rots of Ruck to you! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-ashamed-to-admit-i-dont-know-how-to-grill/684377.md?page=2)