# I'm crushing your head! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 6, 2004, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-crushing-your-head/273330 "2004-11-06T06:39:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/7cd45c/32.png) [@\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Deep_F_ied)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-crushing-your-head/273330/81 "2004-11-09T18:30:03Z")
I always liked Mark as the teen girl with braces. The scene with Kevin as a disgruntled guy who doesn’t want to wait in the supermarket line and then runs out of the store when he has no money ends with Mark lamenting “But I love him…” Cracks me up every time. Oh, I just remembered another one with Mark and Kevin where Mark is the braces girl who has a boy(Kevin IIRC) over when her parents are gone. I don’t remember much but it ends with Kevin getting raped by a rottweiler… Anyone remember this one? ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-crushing-your-head/273330/82 "2004-11-09T19:02:18Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > Dave, sitting at a piano, singing and hitting keys at random: > > “I…! Don’tknowhowtoplaythepiano! > I never took the time to learn…” That one cracked me up, but I really lost it when Kevin MacDonald, in a red sequined dress, runs across and slides off of the top of the piano. 😃 I also liked the “You thanked Hitler!!” bit. ---
**Author:** ![Judith\_Prietht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b19c9b/32.png) [@Judith\_Prietht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Judith_Prietht)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-crushing-your-head/273330/83 "2004-11-09T20:01:09Z")
Aw, I was going to mention Bellini! Up until reading this thread, I’d forgotten all about “I don’t spread for no roses.” I convulsed in laughter. I adore the sketch where Buddy Cole manages Sappho’s Sluggers. “This ball’s been around more than I have!” ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-crushing-your-head/273330/84 "2004-11-09T20:23:37Z")
> [@«Ðëëp¤F®ïêd»™](#): > > Oh, I just remembered another one with Mark and Kevin where Mark is the braces girl who has a boy(Kevin IIRC) over when her parents are gone. I don’t remember much but it ends with Kevin getting raped by a rottweiler… > > Anyone remember this one? Quite possibly the most “wrong” thing I’ve ever seen. Brain Candy is very good. The Kids were disappointed because they were made to “hold back” and produce a more universally loved movie. :rolleyes: Please all and please none. ---
**Author:** ![Raygun99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Raygun99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raygun99)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-crushing-your-head/273330/85 "2004-11-09T22:42:29Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > Quite possibly the most “wrong” thing I’ve ever seen. > > Brain Candy is very good. The Kids were disappointed because they were made to “hold back” and produce a more universally loved movie. :rolleyes: Please all and please none. Also they were a little bit on the outs at that point. Dave Foley didn’t end up writing for it. ---
**Author:** ![saramamalana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@saramamalana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saramamalana)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-crushing-your-head/273330/86 "2004-11-09T23:35:55Z")
My bad, **Nutty Bunny**! 😃 I thought of some others: “Darcy, Darcy, Darcy Pernell, she makes your life a lot less hell!” There was a bit with Dave and Kevin where they’re practicing their golf swing, and one of them keeps bringing up chicken salad sandwiches for some reason. Fact girl: “It’s a fact: The Queen of England doesn’t know her ABC’S.” Q of E: “A B C D R …F …Q …'Ello!” Fact girl: “It’s a fact!” Kevin and Dave singing about liposuction to a date in a restaurant. ---
**Author:** ![St\_Ides](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@St\_Ides](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St_Ides)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-crushing-your-head/273330/87 "2004-11-10T03:47:55Z")
My top 3: 1 - Drunk as a Crow. “Tell me, are you drunk because you’re stupid? or are you stupid because you’re drunk?” 2 - Girl Drink Drunk “It’s just a girrrrl drink” 3 - Head crusher VS The Face Pincher ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-crushing-your-head/273330/88 "2004-11-10T14:01:50Z")
I also loved the office staff with Kathy with a “K” and Cathy with a “C.” ---
**Author:** ![AmericanMaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@AmericanMaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AmericanMaid)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-crushing-your-head/273330/89 "2004-11-10T14:43:32Z")
“Office Submarine!” gets a lot of play in my life. I also like the two hookers played by Scott and Kevin. At one point, Kevin’s hooker starts having a heart attack and Scott yells “Someone call 9-I-I!” Also, what was that talk show with Kevin dressed in drag and his character’s name was Marcy? I remember the theme song was really out of tune and had hilarious lyrics. What always gets me howling about the Sizzler sisters sketch is the lipstick all over their faces and their demands of the hostages “You two love each other!” If you’re crushing my head, I’m pinching your face! ---
**Author:** ![Airblairxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Airblairxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airblairxxx)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-crushing-your-head/273330/90 "2004-11-10T17:54:17Z")
> [@AmericanMaid](#): > > Also, what was that talk show with Kevin dressed in drag and his character’s name was Marcy? I remember the theme song was really out of tune and had hilarious lyrics. See **saramamalana’s** post #86, three posts above yours. I forgot one that hasn’t been mentioned: _MARK: I seem to have injured myself doing the hambone._ ---
**Author:** ![saramamalana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@saramamalana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saramamalana)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-crushing-your-head/273330/91 "2004-11-11T01:07:49Z")
And let’s not forget the winner of the Touch Paul Bellini contest - Rebecca Klatka! ---
**Author:** ![saramamalana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@saramamalana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saramamalana)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-crushing-your-head/273330/92 "2004-11-11T01:10:53Z")
Duh, hit submit too soon. There’s a sketch with Bruce and Mark (in drag) meeting for a date at Bruce’s apartment. They are trying to decide what to do, and they’re saying “so we could go out for dinner, catch a movie, and maybe come back here for drinks.” They both confess they’ve already eaten! “So we could go catch a movie and then come back here…for drinks.” They’ve both seen every movie! “So we’ll just come back here…for drinks!” “What if we skip drinks and go right to the making out?” “How about we skip making out and go right to sex?” “What if we skip sex and go right to the guilt?” Mark then makes a hasty exit and the date is over in 5 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-crushing-your-head/273330/93 "2004-11-11T01:38:59Z")
I liked the sketch with the two laywers representing a dating couple, negotiating sex. Also, the ‘salty ham’ sketch was pretty good. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-crushing-your-head/273330/94 "2004-11-11T02:38:45Z")
> [@js\_africanus](#): > > Another great line was when Scott Thompson bought beer backstage for those teenagers and when they said they didn’t like all the “faggy,” IIRC, stuff on the show, he told them that the CBC required 30% gay content. That was brilliant. Actually, he didn’t buy the beer. They asked him to after commenting on the faggy stuff, and he walked off and debated about whether he should. By the time he decided to do it, Bruce already had. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-crushing-your-head/273330/95 "2004-11-11T14:46:47Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > Actually, he didn’t buy the beer. They asked him to after commenting on the faggy stuff, and he walked off and debated about whether he should. By the time he decided to do it, Bruce already had. Oh, yeah. I remembered it as Scott buying beer while Bruce debated. Cool. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-crushing-your-head/273330/96 "2004-11-11T14:55:05Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > I liked the sketch with the two laywers representing a dating couple, negotiating sex. Ah yes…now I too refer to gin as ‘panty peeler’. 🙂 -Joe [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-crushing-your-head/273330.md?page=4)