# I'm deeeeeeply offended
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-deeeeeeply-offended/235956
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [March 23, 2004, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-deeeeeeply-offended/235956 "2004-03-23T19:06:49Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@LadyMack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LadyMack)
#### Post date: [March 24, 2004, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-deeeeeeply-offended/235956/41 "2004-03-24T20:08:36Z")
> [@featherlou](#):
>
> Some people are just born with wadded panties.
What?!
My babies were born NAKED, I’ll have you know.
I’ve never even heard of a baby born with wadded panties.
Just where do you get this info, anyway?
🙂
---
### Author:  [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)
#### Post date: [March 24, 2004, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-deeeeeeply-offended/235956/42 "2004-03-24T23:06:32Z")
> [@LadyDragon](#):
>
> What?!
> I’ve never even heard of a baby born with wadded panties.
I beg your pardon. As a baby _ **I** _ was born with wadded panties. It offends me that you would belittle my disablity this way…
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### Author:  [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2004, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-deeeeeeply-offended/235956/43 "2004-03-25T00:24:57Z")
How dare you speak of babies being (blush) born? On a board where (gasp) children might read such words and (ACK) start asking questions? Your gratuitous offensiveness offends every gratuitous fiber of my corporeal existence!
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### Author:  [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2004, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-deeeeeeply-offended/235956/44 "2004-03-25T01:25:07Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#):
>
> How dare you speak of babies being (blush) born? On a board where (gasp) children might read such words and (ACK) start asking questions? Your gratuitous offensiveness offends every gratuitous fiber of my corporeal existence!
Excellent point - why isn’t anyone thinking about the CHILDREN? Wait, it’s because the children (er, I mean the ones acting like children) are so offended…
That’s the double-edged sword of the message boards - it’s all too easy for some to have a bad day and sign on with the express purpose of picking a fight on any subject, irregardless of it’s relative importance in the large picture.
Peace! 😃
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### Author:  [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2004, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-deeeeeeply-offended/235956/45 "2004-03-25T02:04:20Z")
> [@Blonde](#):
>
> …picking a fight on any subject, irregardless of it’s relative importance in the large picture.
AAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! “Irregardless” is not a word! AAAAAGGGHHHH!!! Thou art banished to the eighth circle of HELL. AGH! NOT A WORD!
\*_ **tears hair out** _
_ **weeps openly** _\*
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### Author:  [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2004, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-deeeeeeply-offended/235956/46 "2004-03-25T02:24:34Z")
> [@Hamadryad](#):
>
> AAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! “Irregardless” is not a word! AAAAAGGGHHHH!!! Thou art banished to the eighth circle of HELL. AGH! NOT A WORD!
>
> \*_ **tears hair out** _
>
> _ **weeps openly** _\*
Oh, yeah…you want a piece of me? Do ya? You can’t HANDLE the truth…
Er, wait:
Usage Note: Irregardless is a word that many mistakenly believe to be correct usage in formal style, when in fact it is used chiefly in nonstandard speech or casual writing. Coined in the United States in the early 20th century, it has met with a blizzard of condemnation for being an improper yoking of irrespective and regardless and for the logical absurdity of combining the negative ir- prefix and -less suffix in a single term.
Bwa-hahahahahaha!!
I feel so enlightened now! 😃
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### Author:  [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2004, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-deeeeeeply-offended/235956/47 "2004-03-25T02:51:29Z")
> [@Hamadryad](#):
>
> _ **tears hair out** _
You are obviously mocking those of us who choose to shave our heads. I’m deeply offended. :mad:
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### Author:  [@Abbie\_Carmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abbie_Carmichael)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2004, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-deeeeeeply-offended/235956/48 "2004-03-25T03:22:29Z")
> [@Rooves](#):
>
> Stop it already. You’re acting like children.
Oh YEAH?
WellImrubberyouregluewhateveryousaybouncesoffmeandsticksonyou!
Boogerhead!
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### Author:  [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2004, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-deeeeeeply-offended/235956/49 "2004-03-25T03:25:19Z")
> [@Abbie Carmichael](#):
>
> Boogerhead!
The proper term is _mucocephaliasis_. I’m offended by your misuse of terminology!
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### Author:  [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2004, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-deeeeeeply-offended/235956/50 "2004-03-25T04:11:05Z")
I don’t know what’s worse, that **QED** could plausibly make that up, or that **QED** might actually know it…
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### Author:  [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2004, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-deeeeeeply-offended/235956/51 "2004-03-25T06:06:58Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#):
>
> The proper term is _mucocephaliasis_. I’m offended by your misuse of terminology!
Wrong, WRONG, _ **WRONG!!!** _ The correct terminology is _mucocephaloid_, you futtock! Mucocephaliasis is the disease which produces mucocephaloidism, and I am disgusted and enraged that you should bollix it up so egregiously.
---
### Author:  [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2004, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-deeeeeeply-offended/235956/52 "2004-03-25T06:27:50Z")
Ooh! Ooh!
Now I’M offended! They’re usin’ big words. Whatchya got against _little_words?!
Huh? huh? :mad:
I like little words. They’re all cute, like bugs. 😃
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### Author:  [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2004, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-deeeeeeply-offended/235956/53 "2004-03-25T06:31:39Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#):
>
> Wrong, WRONG, _ **WRONG!!!** _ The correct terminology is _mucocephaloid_, you futtock! Mucocephaliasis is the disease which produces mucocephaloidism, and I am disgusted and enraged that you should bollix it up so egregiously.
Nuh uh!!! That means “like or similar to a boogerhead”. I was referring to the “condition of being a boogerhead”, ergo, I was _de facto_ correct! Your pedantry offends me deeply!
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### Author:  [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2004, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-deeeeeeply-offended/235956/54 "2004-03-25T07:35:00Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#):
>
> Nuh uh!!! That means “like or similar to a boogerhead”. I was referring to the “condition of being a boogerhead”, ergo, I was _de facto_ correct! Your pedantry offends me deeply!
Get off of MY side of the seat, dammit!
OK, we’ll draw a line, how’s that? Don’t you dare cross it…
😃
---
### Author:  [@Mycroft\_Holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_Holmes)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2004, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-deeeeeeply-offended/235956/55 "2004-03-25T08:33:51Z")
> [@BMalion](#):
>
> Oh shut up you guest, you.
> [@Mycroft Holmes](#):
>
> Just you wait 'til Monday. Then I too will be one of the elite, the chosen, the righteous. I too will be a
> _gasp_
> _ **"Charter Member"** _.
Hah! Didn’t even take until Monday. Does this mean I can now also be condescending to all other “guests”? I guess **BMalion’s** little attempt to hurt me with that moniker is now shown to be futile. So **BMalion** : “EAT ME!”
---
### Author:  [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2004, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-deeeeeeply-offended/235956/56 "2004-03-25T13:53:15Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#):
>
> Nuh uh!!! That means “like or similar to a boogerhead”. I was referring to the “condition of being a boogerhead”, ergo, I was _de facto_ correct! Your pedantry offends me deeply!
Well, OF COURSE it means “like or similar to a boogerhead”! It’s metaphorical! I mean, just how many people do YOU know who actually have an oozing mass of nasal secretions where their heads should be?
Oh.
Anyway, they’d be mucocephalites (noun) or mucocephalous (adjective), you twit. Can’t even get your pedantry right, you pontificating dyspriapist!
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### Author:  [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2004, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-deeeeeeply-offended/235956/57 "2004-03-25T14:56:43Z")
> [@Mycroft Holmes](#):
>
> Does this mean I can now also be condescending to all other “guests”?
Yes, fun, isn’t it?
> [@](#):
>
> I guess **BMalion’s** little attempt to hurt me with that moniker is now shown to be futile. So **BMalion** : “EAT ME!”
Sorry, cahn’t be bothered. As you no doubt by now realize, we _chahtered membahs_ have far too many important things to do than to respond to the childish taunts of _arrivistes_ such as … well, you know who.
Seriously, Welcome aboard old boy! Let’s meet later at my club on Pall Mall and I’ll stand you the first glass of port!
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### Author:  [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2004, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-deeeeeeply-offended/235956/58 "2004-03-25T15:46:25Z")
> [@Mycroft Holmes](#):
>
> So BMalion: “EAT ME!”
> [@BMalion](#):
>
> Sorry, cahn’t be bothered. As you no doubt by now realize, we _chahtered membahs_ have far too many important things to do…
No, no. He was inviting you to celebrate his newly displayed “Chartered Member” status by perfoming fellatio upon his newly…uh…chartered member.
I can’t believe that you would be so rude as to reject his sincere request for a display of physical solidarity. Or perhaps turgidity. Tumescence?
I apologize, **Mycroft**. **BMalion** has obviously forgotten his manners…AND priorities.
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### Author:  [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2004, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-deeeeeeply-offended/235956/59 "2004-03-25T15:49:08Z")
“Boy…everybody’s stupid except me.” - Homer Simpson
Offend people? Don’t mind if I do!
[ul]
[li]G.W. Bush is an idiot[/li][li]Al Franken is a liar[/li][li]Rush Limbaugh never took drugs[/li][li]Louis Farrakhan hates the white man[/li][li]The Holocaust never happened[/li][li]“The Passion of the Christ” was overrated[/li][li]Donovan McNabb only starts for Philadelphia because he’s black[/li][li]Terrorists want to destroy Cleveland next[/li][li]Monty Python just isn’t funny[/li][li]Janet Jackson’s boobie is ruining good moral fiber[/li][li]Simon Cowell flips people off on TV[/li][li]Howard Stern is a jackass[/li][li]“Shock Radio” is leading to the downfall of society[/li][li]Osama was framed[/li][li]You can’t prove Jesus existed / was the son of God[/li][li]The children, won’t someone please think of the children?[/li][li]Religious Fundamentalists are misunderstood[/li][li]PETA activists are self-righteous idiots[/li][li]Michael Moore always tells the truth[/li][li]Walt Disney isn’t frozen or dead, he actually faked his own death and is now secretly Rupert Murdoch[/li][li]Fox News is the only fair and balanced news organization on television[/li][li]The Department of Homeland Security is here to help. You should be willing to trade a little freedom for a little security, you traitors[/li][li]There are subliminal messages on the new Linkin Park album that lead people to suicide[/li][li]Bert and Ernie are gay lovers, and The Count is a bisexual pimp[/li][li] **Aldebaran** is the only one around here with any sense[/li][li]Again, **the children, won’t someone please think of the children?** [/li][li]White supremacy is the next logical step in human evolution[/li][li]French people are snooty, and British people have bad teeth[/li][li]“Survivor” is staged. So is “American Idol,” and so was the lunar moon landing. I hope you don’t think that “Mars rover” is real, either[/li][li]Cecil is a real guy, and I met him at a Popeye’s Chicken in Kankakee[/li][li]Cecil is a figment of your imagination, and created entirely by the mind of Ed Zotti[/li][li]Ed Zotti is actually, in real life, a stuffed wallaby residing on a shelf at the F.A.O. Schwartz[/li][li]Bill Maher and Bill O’Reilly are the only ones on television that tell it “like it is”[/li]“Family Guy” and “Futurama” both sucked and deserved to be taken off the air. Also, “Angel” should never have aired at all, and it’s a good thing it’s being cancelled
[/ul]
Oh, yeah, and last but not least:
[ul]
[li]The Straight Dope Message Board started charging you because, in secrecy, they have been fighting to **PROMOTE** ignorance since 1973. (And they’re **winning!** )[/li][/ul]
Now if THAT doesn’t get people all riled up, nothing will.
Yes, it’s a gag, mods, don’t make with the bannination. Well, everything but the part about Walt Disney. I heard it from my cousin’s hairdresser, who used to give Walt his weekly saltwater enemas. Fact.
---
### Author:  [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)
#### Post date: [March 25, 2004, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-deeeeeeply-offended/235956/60 "2004-03-25T15:59:10Z")
It is very unfair to say that British people have bad teeth. What if you had to eat what they eat?
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