# I'm different now. Just saying. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 6, 2011, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108 "2011-11-06T22:48:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108/161 "2011-11-30T18:50:20Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > What was I supposed to do, buy and wear jewelry I didn’t like to preserve the feewings of someone on the internet? I believe it was the tone. I’ve witnessed a few of your meltdowns, and am glad you’re on good meds. I, too, am in my 40s now. Not sure I’ve changed much, but have seen people who have changed for the better. Good luck with the rest of this thread. I have a feeling you’re going to need it. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108/162 "2011-11-30T19:02:40Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > (bolding mine) > > > [@OpalCat](#): > > > > I have childhood issues regarding sports. I was raised by a single mother who put sports above me as a child. I was made to crawl across the floor to get things on the other side of the room rather than walk between her and her precious game, **made to wait hours before being allowed to ask a question** , etc. So I have some other issues related to sports that affect my opinion of them on an emotional level. > > She really dug the commercials as well, huh? No, that’s when she switched to [CBN](http://www.cbn.com/). d&r ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108/163 "2011-11-30T19:17:50Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I mean, your mom didn’t want you to talk during games, and you interpret that as this scarring experience, whereas most people would just figure, “OK, Mom loves sports.” There is so much more to it that you’re not taking into account and don’t know about. I was severely bipolar, I had a very troubled relationship with my [clinically depressed, neglectful] mother on MANY levels that required me to be in therapy starting at age 4, etc. You can’t know everything that went into it, but as the straw on top of the pile, her attitude during sports DID affect me. Again, it’s far more complex than I care to get into on a message board, and it matters a lot that the situation was between a severely bipolar child and a severely depressed adult. ---
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108/164 "2011-11-30T19:18:20Z")
To be quite honest, **Opal** , I’ve always thought you were fine. I’ve poked around on your website, read your posts. We met in person, once, in Atlanta, but you probably don’t remember. And for the record, I think you do like to receive attention, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that at all. As **Olivesmarch** (one of my absolute favorite posters, btw) pointed out, we all love attention. It’s just that most of us have been conditioned by people around us to believe that it’s not dignified to actually seek it. I think that’s a little silly, frankly. I want people to pay attention to me. I have things to say, and I want people to hear it. You don’t have to be on my Facebook, message board, or website if you don’t want to. Whether or not I pay attention to a person I don’t like is my choice. I, too, am a drastically different person from the person that joined this board in 2003. I’m also reaching a milestone birthday, but it’s 30. I’ve had lots of therapy. I hate reading my old threads, because I want to go back in time and smack myself silly. Such a victim. Victim, victim, victim all the time. I’m glad I’m different now. But here’s the thing, sometimes an impression of you can be so cemented in someone’s mind, that literally everything you do after that is filtered through their confirmation bias and then you can literally never say or do anything right in that person’s eyes. I think that’s happening to you. I wouldn’t take it too much to heart. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108/165 "2011-11-30T19:21:30Z")
> [@torie](#): > > But here’s the thing, sometimes an impression of you can be so cemented in someone’s mind, that literally everything you do after that is filtered through their confirmation bias and then you can literally never say or do anything right in that person’s eyes. I think that’s happening to you. I wouldn’t take it too much to heart. I think it has, too, which was why I started this thread in the first place. Thanks for your kind words. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108/166 "2011-11-30T19:31:13Z")
> [@Sarahfeena](#): > > People don’t know or care if you’re going to actually use their suggestions. They do know or care whether or not the trouble they took to make the suggestion seems appreciated or not. And OpalCat _is_ getting better at that, at least since the infamous wedding ring thread. I think she still applies the lessons she might have learned from that thread to this day. Dopers have elephant-like memories, and it’ll take a long time to overcome the “suggest me something and I’ll always shoot it down” reputation. Still, there’s a pattern of frequent “personal shopper” threads. Just about everybody has asked for the advice of Dopers when it comes to a purchase before, but when there are so many from one person, it reinforces the “I want to be the center of attention” reputation. They might be justified with a “I care about what the Teeming Millions think”, but why not just take some time off from posting, which has been _nearly non-stop_ for the past week, and spend a half hour browsing through Amazon, Newegg or Zappos, looking at what’s being sold, and reading the reviews accompanying them? There are still boundary issues. Since this thread started, we know the color and texture of her eye goop, her meds and dosages, and even more about her son, among many other things. If Opal really wants her reputation to change, my unsolicited advice for her is … 1. Don’t post with the primary intent of attention-getting. 2. Respect yourself and those close to you, and establish some boundaries. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108/167 "2011-11-30T19:38:26Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > 1. Don’t post with the primary intent of attention-getting. I appreciate your advice, but for what it’s worth, I never do this. It may look like I do from the outside, but that is never my motivation for starting a thread. Lately I’ve been bored a lot, which is why I’ve posted a lot. A lot of people have higher post-per-day counts than I do, though. I’ve made a pledge to myself to start painting again by the end of this week, so that should help take up some of my time. I can’t help it that this is one of the best places to spend idle time on the internet! As for the shopping stuff, I typically do look at places like Amazon first, and frequently I’ll find something and then ask here about it, because I trust the opinions and experiences of people here more than the random commenters on such sites. Other times I have a hard time finding what I’m looking for and the Dope has historically been very good at finding things at site I wouldn’t even have thought of or known about. Frequently Google isn’t very good when looking for products, because you can’t tell it subjective things to look for. ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108/168 "2011-11-30T20:02:41Z")
OpalCat, I recently saw a youtube juggling video of yours you had apparently put together several years ago. Was great, liked it. Several different styles featured and demonstrated well. And good work on the video too, all that editing must have been a nightmare, turned out really well though. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108/169 "2011-11-30T20:05:36Z")
Thanks 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108/170 "2011-11-30T23:33:02Z")
Just for fun, I did a quick search and you have started 63 threads in the month of November (so far) and that is just under 2% of all of the new threads for the month. We have thousands of Active Members but you alone have started nearly one out of fifty of the threads. Just saying. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108/171 "2011-12-01T01:29:22Z")
I remember reading something some time back that referred to the kind of behavior you’re talking about, and spending some time going back and reading a butt load of threads. I don’t remember exactly what my feelings or impressions were at the time, but since then whenever I’ve seen your name, I take a read. I’ve seen you juggle (not in person) and have over the more recent past become somewhat of a fan, I think knowing that we share some of the same issues, and I’ve also been through the gamut of bad useless meds, and being now a whole lot more stable and happy. I’m glad you’re in a good place, but I think I’m not surprised to know that’s how you feel - we ‘follow’ each other in other places and you come across as one of the more together people I know, that I don’t really know. Stay happy my friend! ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108/172 "2011-12-01T02:22:25Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > Just for fun, I did a quick search and you have started 63 threads in the month of November (so far) and that is just under 2% of all of the new threads for the month. We have thousands of Active Members but you alone have started nearly one out of fifty of the threads. > > Just saying. It’s been a boring month. ---
**Author:** ![Madame\_Joy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@Madame\_Joy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madame_Joy)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108/173 "2011-12-01T02:36:57Z")
> [@torie](#): > > \>snipped\< And for the record, I think you do like to receive attention, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that at all. As **Olivesmarch** (one of my absolute favorite posters, btw) pointed out, we all love attention. It’s just that most of us have been conditioned by people around us to believe that it’s not dignified to actually seek it. I think that’s a little silly, frankly. I want people to pay attention to me. I have things to say, and I want people to hear it. You don’t have to be on my Facebook, message board, or website if you don’t want to. Whether or not I pay attention to a person I don’t like is my choice. > > I, too, am a drastically different person from the person that joined this board in 2003. I’m also reaching a milestone birthday, but it’s 30. I’ve had lots of therapy. I hate reading my old threads, because I want to go back in time and smack myself silly. Such a victim. Victim, victim, victim all the time. I’m glad I’m different now. > > But here’s the thing, sometimes an impression of you can be so cemented in someone’s mind, that literally everything you do after that is filtered through their confirmation bias and then you can literally never say or do anything right in that person’s eyes. I think that’s happening to you. I wouldn’t take it too much to heart. Favorite response so far. I don’t really know anything about any of this, yet it sounds very familiar. I’ve seen it happen on other message boards to other people, and then, when the herd thinned down enough, to me. I’m still friends with some of the people who were smarter than me and escaped before it was their turn. I can appreciate your desire to make the statement you did, OpalCat. I also know that everyone will be disliked by someone, if they participate on a message board enough to be noticed. I’m glad to hear that your mental health and life have improved. It’s a sucky thing to have mental health issues, and a lot of people have zero sympathy because they think it’s something you choose, or some similar ignorance. I’m glad to see that you have made peace with your mother. I tend to be uncomfortable with the idea of sharing too much information about one’s child on a public forum, but I’m getting that second-hand, so that’s all I’ll say about it. Good luck to you in your journey. You’re not there yet; none of us is. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108/174 "2011-12-01T03:25:44Z")
i can’t speak for anyone but myself but i am not judging opal here based on her past meltdowns. we all go through shit, i’m no one to judge. the only point i’m trying to make to opal is that i’m not seeing a great change. this thread could be happening in 2003. you get the heartfelt OP, the crowd of opal fans who come in with huggles, the reality checkers, the link providers, etc, and boom here we are 4 pages later. same shit, different day. opal, your only responses are excuses. never do you admit that maybe you’re in the wrong, maybe you do seek attention, maybe you do overshare, maybe some of the things that multiple posters have pointed out to you multiple times might just have a nugget of truth in them. you are seriously saying, with a straight face, so help you god, that you never, ever make a single post because you want attention? that’s ridiculous. as some have pointed out, to an extent we all post because we want attention, or conversation, or whatever. there’s being bored, and then there’s your activity here shooting up to an average of 50 posts a day. maybe it’s not a hypomanic episode, and maybe it’s not from pilfering ADD meds, but it’s from something, and eventually you’re going to crash and burn. maybe i’m wrong. i’m not a shrink, after all, and i have my own problems. but i don’t think i am. ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108/175 "2011-12-01T03:28:12Z")
> [@expectopatronum](#): > > there’s being bored, and then there’s your activity here shooting up to an average of 50 posts a day. maybe it’s not from pilfering ADD meds… Hey, she would NEVER do something like that!!! Oh, wait… ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108/176 "2011-12-01T03:30:23Z")
Pilfering ADD meds? I have a prescription. I took ONE count it ONE pill from my son’s leftovers ONE time, to see if it would help. You’re reaching. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108/177 "2011-12-01T03:38:32Z")
But not any friendlier. Just sayin’. It isn’t necessary, of course, but in my opinion, for someone who has been a mainstay here for as long as you have, I expect a little more warmth. Sorry, and as I wrote, that’s just my opinion. Q ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108/178 "2011-12-01T03:45:29Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > But not any friendlier. > > Just sayin’. > > It isn’t necessary, of course, but in my opinion, for someone who has been a mainstay here for as long as you have, I expect a little more warmth. > > Sorry, and as I wrote, that’s just my opinion. > > Q This honestly surprises me. Where have I been unfriendly? I genuinely want to know. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108/179 "2011-12-01T04:17:42Z")
I have also noticed what I think may be a manic episode going on with you, **Opal**. I may not be your biggest fan, although I don’t carry any grudge with you or anything so dramatic, but in all sincerity and concern, I hope that if that’s what’s going on, that you recognize it and get any help that you’re not currently. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2011, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108/180 "2011-12-01T04:21:40Z")
OpalCat, I’m new here so don’t have a history with you. And apparently I’ve already stepped on some toes. But it does seem to me that you provide a lot of fodder to this message board. Every forum I go to has something tagged OpalCat, usually something inconsequential. And you post in an inordinate number of threads. Maybe you could get a job. Or a hobby. You’re obviously intelligent and interesting and might thrive in an environment that requires you to focus your attributes. I’m not trying to clip your wings. Just, maybe, point them toward your sun. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-different-now-just-saying/602108.md?page=10)