# I'm Divorced! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 23, 2010, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-divorced/547735 "2010-07-23T17:23:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-divorced/547735/1 "2010-07-23T17:23:05Z")
I saw [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=571768) by \*\*commasense \*\*announcing his engagement. Congratulations, \*\*comma \*\*(can I call you **comma**?) I thought as the perfect bookend, I’d announce to all and sundry that as of July 15th I’m officially single again. Not that I haven’t dated or gotten laid at all in the last 8 years by someone other than my wife but … I’ve gotten ahead of myself. You see, we married way back in the last century. 1999 to be accurate. We lasted about 2 years before things fell apart. And by ‘things falling apart’ I mean, she fucking me over. But that’s neither here nor there. Since then, I moved back to Maine (from California) and we remained separated all this time. By virtue of she be extremely flighty, and me being … well, extremely flighty too - not to mention us being 3000 miles apart - we never got the i’s crossed or the t’s dotted. Until now. Now I can get married again. Of course, I would never be so stupid ast to give \*that \*another try, but I could if I wanted to. I think I’ll throw myself another bachelor party. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-divorced/547735/2 "2010-07-23T17:25:17Z")
I’m not sure what to say–do you say congrats or sorry on this kind of event? Virtual hugs? Also, your divorce date is the same date as my parents’ wedding anniversary. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-divorced/547735/3 "2010-07-23T17:27:55Z")
My son has been trying to get divorced for 3 years now. I hope to hell it doesn’t take 8!! Congrats! ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-divorced/547735/4 "2010-07-23T17:28:34Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I’m not sure what to say–do you say congrats or sorry on this kind of event? Oh, I’m way beyond sorry. So to speak. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-divorced/547735/5 "2010-07-23T17:31:20Z")
COngratulations! I’ll have a beer tonight in celebration. I was going to have a beer anyway but at least now I have a reason. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-divorced/547735/6 "2010-07-23T17:37:23Z")
The proper reponse is PHEW! At least that’s how I felt when my bf’s divorce finally went through. Because that meant we were no longer committing adultery! Just fornication. I definitely thing divorce is a proper, celebratory milestone. And so is the day you leave. I officially drove off from my husband on February 13th - a day I now celebrate as “Happy Trails Day!” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-divorced/547735/7 "2010-07-23T17:44:06Z")
Conga-rats on getting your eyes dotted! ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-divorced/547735/8 "2010-07-23T17:53:58Z")
Congrats man. Miss you! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Carl\_Corey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Carl\_Corey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carl_Corey)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-divorced/547735/9 "2010-07-23T18:00:25Z")
Congratulations! ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-divorced/547735/10 "2010-07-23T18:10:40Z")
> [@psycat90](#): > > Miss you! 🙂 Ditto. I keep forgetting about Old School Doper nights on IRC. Is there one scheduled tonight? ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-divorced/547735/11 "2010-07-23T18:12:54Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > Just fornication. And it’s goooooooooood. ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-divorced/547735/12 "2010-07-23T18:16:07Z")
Congratulations! I’m not divorced. Or married. Or engaged. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-divorced/547735/13 "2010-07-23T18:18:55Z")
Well done, mine only took 2 years but it was hell. My advice is to start drinking heavily. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-divorced/547735/14 "2010-07-23T18:28:49Z")
Way ahead of you. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-divorced/547735/15 "2010-07-23T18:43:11Z")
> [@Surly\_Chick](#): > > Congratulations! > > I’m not divorced. Or married. Or engaged. > > Sigh. Bet you are the bestest surly chick EVAH. for realz. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Al\_Bundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@Al\_Bundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al_Bundy)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-divorced/547735/16 "2010-07-23T21:02:08Z")
Congrats are in order. You will not feel the full benefits of this decision until years later when you realize what you escaped-unless you repeat the error of your ways. Being married or divorced is not a crime. Maybe it should be. You decide. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-divorced/547735/17 "2010-07-23T21:12:02Z")
Since I’m not single and thus no longer have to compete with you for women, congratulations. To all the ladies out there: I’m sorry. Run for it. ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-divorced/547735/18 "2010-07-23T21:28:33Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > Ditto. > > I keep forgetting about Old School Doper nights on IRC. Is there one scheduled tonight? No. I think the next one might be in September sometime. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-divorced/547735/19 "2010-07-23T21:36:27Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Since I’m not single and thus no longer have to compete with you for women, congratulations. > > To all the ladies out there: I’m sorry. Run for it. I don’t think he’d make it this far. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2010, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-divorced/547735/20 "2010-07-23T21:52:00Z")
> [@cat whisperer](#): > > i don’t think he’d make it this far. I SAID RUN FOR IT GODDAMNIT! THERE’S NO TIME!! [sub]Be afraid.[/sub] [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-divorced/547735.md?page=2)