# I'm engaged! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 30, 2014, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902 "2014-03-30T15:58:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902/41 "2014-03-31T19:22:22Z")
Congrats! šŸ™‚ If youā€™re looking to save money on a dress but still get something fancy, check out the bridesmaids dresses. A friend of mine got an ivory bridesmaid dress to wear in her wedding. Still looked ā€œbridalā€ if you know what I mean, but lots cheaper. ---
**Author:** ![Grestarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grestarian/32/3227_2.png) [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902/42 "2014-03-31T19:38:47Z")
Well, congratulations! Having read a few dozen of your responses here and there, Iā€™ve always thought you were a neat person with good practical sense. I think I might even be jealous! FWIW, you might also consider [Moissanite](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moissanite) if youā€™re looking for a substitute for the DeBeers Cartel-marketed or conflict-supported products. My wife and I had a custom ring setting done with a Moissanite stone and most observers think itā€™s a transparent flawless round-cut diamond, which would make it extremely expensive. In reality, the synthetic stone alone cost less than a thousand dollars. I believe that may be more expensive than Cubic Zirconia, but Iā€™ve also noticed that I can detect the synthetic markings of a CZ stone just at a glance with the light reflecting at certain angles. Iā€™ve never seen a Zirconium gemstone, so I wouldnā€™t know how it compares to the synthetics. Best wishes to all involved! ā€“G! If you havenā€™t already, please post (or have your fiance do it) to the ā€œHow did you Propose?ā€ thread. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902/43 "2014-03-31T19:51:37Z")
I just wanted to say congratulations! ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902/44 "2014-03-31T20:08:17Z")
Congratulations! I had no idea rings could be custom-made by artisans on Etsy. Yours is gorgeous! ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902/45 "2014-03-31T21:30:46Z")
Congratulations and best wishes to both of you! (There, I covered all the bases :D) ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2014, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902/46 "2014-03-31T22:48:13Z")
> [@chappachula](#): > > Everybody you invite must be somebody who deserves to get a kiss or a warm hug from the bride or groom. No stiff handshakes. > > Using this criterion, you can eliminate lots of people: everybody from work, for example. Yes, I agree with these criteria. Iā€™m very lucky that my parents live so far away. I donā€™t have to worry about my mom insisting on inviting every last cousin, and my fianceā€™s mom isnā€™t like that at all. I sincerely doubt any of my extended family would be able to afford the trip. Which is good, because I wouldnā€™t want them there anyway. > [@swampspruce](#): > > SWMBO picked out her dress from Sears for less than $200 and looked spectacular on the beach! Got any pictures? Iā€™d love to see. We probably have the option of doing a beach wedding along Cayuga Lake, but the beaches in New York arenā€™t particularly warm or scenic. Even in July ā˜¹ > [@sandra\_nz](#): > > Depending on the number of guests, it may not be as cheap as you think once you consider hiring seating, gazebos/tents, sound systems, caterers for the bbq etc. Venues have all that stuff built in. So get some quotes and shop around. Fiance put the kibosh on that idea for practical reasons, although your advice is also good. Their yard is much too small even for our tiny entourage. > [@sandra\_nz](#): > > One of my regrets was that during the rehearsal we realized we hadnā€™t organised someone to push play on the ceremony music! We got a friend of ours to do it but I regret that meant he didnā€™t then enjoy the wedding in the same way as the other participants. This is a really good idea of something I never would have considered. My sister is a trained flautist-cum-band director, so I am thinking of asking her to play a couple songs. We both played at my momā€™s 2nd wedding. Her on flute, me on piano. We were in high school at the time, and sheā€™s gotten much better since. šŸ™‚ > [@Clothahump](#): > > SWMBO and I got married in the living room. JP cost $200. Thatā€™s in Houston, TX - YMMV. Great to know! Did you splurge on a nice honeymoon? It sure is tempting to just spend the money on a whirlwind island vacation instead of a ceremony. > [@Grestarian](#): > > Well, congratulations! Having read a few dozen of your responses here and there, Iā€™ve always thought you were a neat person with good practical sense. I think I might even be jealous! Well, what a sweet thing to say! It would be churlish of me to disagree. Sometimes I kinda wish I could go back to my early 20s and kick my own ass, but doesnā€™t everyone? > [@Grestarian](#): > > FWIW, you might also consider [Moissanite](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moissanite) if youā€™re looking for a substitute for the DeBeers Cartel-marketed or conflict-supported products. I wouldnā€™t know the look of a diamond from a pop-tart. I did look at moissanite, actually. Thereā€™s a good thread about that on the board somewhere. Itā€™s definitely pretty, but I ruled it out due to expense. Diamonds I ruled out years ago for ethical reasons, cost reasons, because DeBeers is a dickhole, and I donā€™t want to contribute to the demand for diamonds. At the end of the day, theyā€™re all just shiny rocks. > [@Helena330](#): > > Congratulations! I had no idea rings could be custom-made by artisans on Etsy. Yours is gorgeous! I definitely lucked out with the discovery that this was a thing. Thank god for the internets. > [@gracer](#): > > Can we get a bit of the soppy proposal story, please? What did he say? Where were you? šŸ™‚ The words are for my ears only. šŸ™‚ But yeah, he already knew I wanted to marry him, weā€™d discussed it, he knew Iā€™d say yes. So we visited a pretty gorge/frozen waterfall to make the actual asking memorable. He said afterward he wanted to wait until it was warmer, but around here that might not have been until late May. And I wonā€™t lie, Iā€™d been dropping hints like a madwoman. I did sort-of propose to him while falling asleep a couple weeks ago (Iā€™m notoriously impatient and not particularly romantic), but he said he wanted to do the asking. šŸ˜› ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902/47 "2014-04-01T01:41:42Z")
Good for you, Rachellelogram. I think youā€™re a quality poster, hope things work out for the best for you. ---
**Author:** ![Silvorange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Silvorange](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silvorange)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902/48 "2014-04-01T02:15:39Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#): > > Thatā€™s awesome. Does he charge, or is it payment enough to be allowed to stick around and eat dinner and wedding cake? šŸ˜› Itā€™s all been family and close friends so far, and I think they have all given him a gift. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902/49 "2014-04-01T03:11:09Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#): > > \*\*Thanks \*\*for saying this. Iā€™ve been wiff-waffling on spending so much on an outfit I will only wear for one day. But then I saw a picture series of groomsā€™ faces on their wedding day, which is definitely biasing me toward the traditional. And hell, I didnā€™t get to go to prom. Iā€™ve never had a reason to dress that fancy. Why not? (comes back to re-read the post where somebody said **Thanks** one last time before turning in for the night) ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902/50 "2014-04-01T14:39:16Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#): > > Sexual compatibility is too big a dimension of a successful marriage to leave it up to chance. And Iā€™m very thankful I live in a time and place where I can choose to make that decision without being stoned. Thatā€™s up to you of course, but I find that a couple of drinks help. šŸ˜‰ Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![delsina363](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@delsina363](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delsina363)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902/51 "2014-04-01T15:21:23Z")
Congratulations! I love happy stories. I love the dress you posted, it is beautiful. My younger sister had an outdoor wedding. She rented chairs, tables, a tent, and a porta potty. She had it at my sisterā€™s property in Maine. If you look around, you may be able to get a good deal on these rentals. Also, to keep costs down, she used a local place to cater Italian Food, I believe it was the local pizza place. You can get a lot of pasta, for less than other foods. One other great thing, she actually rented her wedding dress. She went to a bridal shop where they rent dresses, and she was able to rent a beautiful dress. They even had a way to adjust the dress to fit my sis. who is plus size. When getting married in PA, I believe the tradition is to have a cookie table. You may want to look into that. Good Luck, have a fun time planning ! I hope you feel like a princess on your wedding day (sappy, I know, but you only do it once). šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902/52 "2014-04-01T17:12:10Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Thatā€™s up to you of course, but I find that a couple of drinks help. Haha, can you believe I did not even pick up on the double meaning until you pointed it out?? Gak, Iā€™m getting old. > [@delsina363](#): > > My younger sister had an outdoor wedding. She rented chairs, tables, a tent, and a porta potty. She had it at my sisterā€™s property in Maine. If you look around, you may be able to get a good deal on these rentals. > > When getting married in PA, I believe the tradition is to have a cookie table. You may want to look into that. You gotta tell me how the bride was able to use a porta potty. Indoor plumbing is a dealbreaker for me. Porta potties are disgusting. I donā€™t think I could use one without getting something on the dress. And how would everyone wash their hands? Ew. Iā€™ve never heard of a cookie table! Iā€™ll have to ask around. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902/53 "2014-04-01T18:04:50Z")
Congratulations! May you and your guy have many years of shared happiness. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902/54 "2014-04-01T18:22:16Z")
Congratulations **Rachellelogram**! > [@janis\_and\_c0](#): > > I got my plus sized wedding dress from [here](https://holyclothing.com). _HUGS_ Love luck & rainbows to you both! ā€¦ but I kind of hate you \*\*janis \*\*for pointing that site out to me and my credit card šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![delsina363](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@delsina363](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delsina363)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2014, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902/55 "2014-04-01T18:35:34Z")
Hi again Rachellelogram: The wedding was in Maine, way up, and my sister who had the land, had only a tiny house (at the time). She had some strange septic tank problem, so she did not want to overuse her bathroom, or something like that. The bridal party all got ready in the house. After the ceremony, we all put on summer clothes (shorts, nice casual tops, etc). The porta potty was rented and clean, and the men would use it. It was far away from the actual reception area. The ladies would walk to the house. In thinking back, it was the nicest wedding I ever attended. Everyone was so happy to be able to get out of their wedding attire, and put on casual clothes. She had a local DJ, and as the sun set, we all were dancing, and the kids were rolling down the hills. My favorite part was when it began to rain, and we all had to stand under the tent. It was a bit crowded, but one by one, starting with the children, we left the tent, and honest to goodness, started dancing in the rain. Oh well, if only the marriage was as nice as the wedding! That is a whole other story. As for the cookie table, my nephew was married in PA last summer, and my sisters made dozens upon dozens of cookies for a month, freezing them as they went along. They told me everyone in PA has a cookie table. There was some history about it, but I do not remember. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Orionizer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/orionizer/32/4442_2.png) [@Orionizer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orionizer)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2014, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902/56 "2014-04-02T18:21:42Z")
Congratulations, Rachellelogram! Iā€™m also a semi-lurker, but enjoy your posts enough to bring me out of the shadows for a post. The only thing I can add, about the music. When my ex and I were married, I had made a CD to be played, but we also forgot to get anyone to start the music. We were too busy to remember until about 3/4 of the way through and by then, it was too late. Be sure to have someone on hand to start it for you! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![papergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aca169/32.png) [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2014, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902/57 "2014-04-02T19:22:05Z")
Yay! A wedding! I have two pieces of advice, which you may take as you wish. 1. Do everything you want to do, and donā€™t do anything you donā€™t want to do. With every detail, especially costly ones, ask yourself: Do we want this? Will it add to our happiness? And go from there. And 2. A tremendous cost-saver for me: We got beautiful, gorgeous, amazing fresh flowers for the entire wedding party plus the table for $200 at a local Marsh grocery store. It would have cost at least twice thatā€¦no, probably 4-5 times that, to go to a florist. Something to consider. I had an outdoor wedding in a state park, reception in a city park shelterhouse, picnic foods style reception. It was truly one of the prettiest weddings Iā€™ve ever seen. Much happiness to you and your groom. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2014, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902/58 "2014-04-02T19:55:41Z")
\<3 ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2014, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902/59 "2014-04-07T01:29:42Z")
Best wishes for a nice, stress-free wedding and a spectacular marriage. (Late to the thread because I was actually looking for threads about Etsy jewelry and stumbled across this!) ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2014, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902/60 "2014-04-07T01:44:06Z")
We married relatively cheap. Six people at the courthouse, but a reception for 100. Beer and wine, sub sandwiches, I made my own wedding cake (Iā€™ve done four cakes for weddings - and two of those couples stayed married - including me!), a friend did my flowers, another took photos, we did pay a DJ (but in this day and age, you can set up a play list on an iPod and just run it if youā€™d want to have a dance). I wore an off the rack cocktail dress and my sister and maid of honor wore a simple summer dress. Friends with skills are often willing to help out (saves them from buying a gift to do your photos or flowers :)) and if the wedding is casual anyway, you donā€™t really need a $300 bouquet of orchids and calla lillies. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-engaged/684902.md?page=4)