# I'm Falling Apart

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-falling-apart/426488>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [November 15, 2007, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-falling-apart/426488 "2007-11-15T04:18:10Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Maui\_Lion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea666f/32.png) [@Maui\_Lion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maui_Lion)\
**Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-falling-apart/426488/21 "2007-11-15T19:49:24Z")

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Let’s get all the king’s horses and all the king’s men. Maybe they’ll have better luck with you than that humpty fella’.  
Also: duct tape.  
Lots of duct tape.

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**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\
**Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-falling-apart/426488/22 "2007-11-16T00:39:37Z")

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Jus’ wait ‘til th’ _rush_ hits yoo!

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**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\
**Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-falling-apart/426488/23 "2007-11-16T01:34:18Z")

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There goes my eyeball … into my highball!

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**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\
**Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-falling-apart/426488/24 "2007-11-16T08:39:09Z")

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Next time you take a piss, DO NOT SHAKE.

Also: Avoid masturbation at all costs

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**Author:** ![papaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b77776/32.png) [@papaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papaw)\
**Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-falling-apart/426488/25 "2007-11-16T10:17:38Z")

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When you can’t find your hand, look up your ass where you last wiped it.

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