# I'm flaming the entire SDMB **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 2, 2000, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319 "2000-05-02T00:45:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2000, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319/21 "2000-05-02T16:48:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > aha, if I promise to follow you around from forum to forum agreeing with everything you say and tell everyone I come in contact with how unbelievably cool you are, will you introduce me to Ed and Jerry (when Jerry becomes your friend, that is)? > > Cool people like you guys are, er, well, cool. And thanks in advance. > \*\* You bet Missy2u! It’s nice to see at least one poster has come to their senses. I will most definately introduce you at first opportunity. BTW check out my new sig. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![as\_u\_wish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@as\_u\_wish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/as_u_wish)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2000, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319/22 "2000-05-02T21:05:29Z")
Help me, aha. Capitalization problem: If I begin a sentence with your name, should I capitalize the first a? I don’t want to get left out of the $100 a plate “Get to Know Ed and Jerry” fundraiser on a technicality. Eagerly awaiting clarification. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2000, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319/23 "2000-05-02T21:28:15Z")
No, wait! I’ve finally figgered it out! aha - nickname of **Ahasuerus** , either of two kings of the Medes and Persians, especially the one (often identified as Xerxes I) who was married to Esther - (Ezra 4:6). E-I-E-I-O ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2000, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319/24 "2000-05-02T21:42:54Z")
as\_u\_wish, > [@](#): > > Help me, aha. Capitalization problem: If I begin a sentence with your name, should I capitalize the first a? No sir! you should not capitolize it!!! And I would appreciate you not confusing me with the fucking facts ok? I have spent most of my life doing things half-assed. I am not going to start doing them correctly now. I chose aha cause any sub specie monkey with a double row of teeth, tripping on LSD with a tuning fork stuck up his ass vibrating in C# could type it without looking and in a nano second. Read my lips: No caps pauses dashes hypens nuttin at the beginning end or in the middle. Simplicity is bless,and as you grow older and learn the ways of the world these things will come natural to you. Now if you want to be on the porch with the big dogs like me, Ed and Jerry, don’t ask anymore infantile questions just follow my lead. All in all however not a bad question as\_u\_wish. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2000, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319/25 "2000-05-02T21:55:05Z")
Sorry to keep bumping up this thread myself but Unclebeer’s post came in at the same time I was answering as\_u\_wishes…anyway to damn bad, you don’t like it? Talk to either of my pals Ed or Jerry. _smirk_ Unclebeer: > [@](#): > > Esther Esther ehhhh?? (rubbing chin} I barely remember her…flight attendent right? (squinting eyes) did she bring up my name? Surely she didn’t dredge up that tired old story of her having my baby some years ago did she? I may just have to take out a restraining order on her. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2000, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319/26 "2000-05-02T22:00:53Z")
My balogna has a first name, It’s O-S-C-A-R, My balogna has last name, It’s M-A-Y-E-R It’s Oscar Mayer, B-O-L-O-G-N-A! I’m sorry aha, I’m not really trying to poke fun at you. I just can’t stop posting this shit; I think I’ve lost my tiny little mind. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2000, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319/27 "2000-05-02T22:40:39Z")
I believe the Smithsonian-approved ORIGINAL version goes: My bologna has a first name It’s O-S-C-A-R My bologna has a second name It’s M-A-Y-E-R Oh, I love to eat it every day And if you ask me why, I’ll saaaaaaaaaaay . . . That Oscar Mayer Has a Way With B-O-L-O-G-N-A. Pass the mustard. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2000, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319/28 "2000-05-02T22:45:40Z")
I believe you are correct, pugluvr and thanks for the assist. ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2000, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319/29 "2000-05-02T22:46:03Z")
> [@](#): > > I was ONLY KIDDING!!, I love all you guys!!! Officially ranked as the #1 and #2 lamest things to say in the pit. God damn love fests in the pit… Have you all come down with the orangecakes virus? Come here to flame or don’t come at all, gastropods. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2000, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319/30 "2000-05-02T23:02:48Z")
_looks around_ Starts chant: “AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA, AHA” etc. \*leaves to scattered applause and much booing. I’m sorry aha it was a compulsion I had to do it. Keith PS: You don’t have to capitalize Odieman when you blast me. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2000, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319/31 "2000-05-02T23:16:42Z")
Sorry, Alphagene, we did get a bit touchy-feely there for a moment — now I’ll do it the right way. (Pulls out soapbox and clambers onto it. Raises fist in the air.) GODDAM IT! It there’s anything – ANYTHING that pisses me off, it’s when they get that bologna song wrong. We all musta heard it MILLIONS of times on TV! I mean, if we can’t get the bologna song right, then what does that say of the our collective American conscience? Next thing you know, it will be the Oscar Mayer WIENER song that somebody futzes up! Umm – how does that go ----- ---
**Author:** ![as\_u\_wish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@as\_u\_wish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/as_u_wish)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2000, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319/32 "2000-05-02T23:34:39Z")
I know! I know!!! Call on me!!! I’m glad that you’re an Oscar Mayer Wiener– Sickly brown and made of chopped up pork. Cuz now no one will even raise an eyebrow When I boil you and prick you with a fork. Or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2000, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319/33 "2000-05-02T23:57:05Z")
No, more like this: OH, I wish I was a Michael Jackson wiener That is what I’d really want to be 'Cause if I was a Michael Jackson wiener On the air would pictures of me beeeeeeeee . . . . Thank you, thank you. Bosco songs coming. ---
**Author:** ![dasmoocher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319/34 "2000-05-03T00:00:08Z")
Capitolize??? Who’s erecting this building? ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319/35 "2000-05-03T00:07:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > > God damn love fests in the pit… Have you all come down with the orangecakes virus? Come here to flame or don’t come at all, gastropods. > \*\* And the judges scores on that flame: 5.6 6.4 4.5 6.8 (the american judge) 4.3 ( swiss judge) ---
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319/36 "2000-05-03T00:08:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > > I chose aha cause any sub specie monkey with a double row of teeth, tripping on LSD with a tuning fork stuck up his ass vibrating in C# could type it without looking and in a nano second. > > \*\* OK asshole, now your getting personal! 🙂 🙂 🙂 aha, you are to damn funny, glad Ed and Jerry saw fit to welcome you and keep you around and in the loop. ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319/37 "2000-05-03T03:21:50Z")
> [@](#): > > And the judges scores on that flame: > 5.6 6.4 4.5 6.8 (the american judge) 4.3 ( swiss judge) You know, aha implying that my posts need improvement is like William Conrad telling me I need to lose weight. You should stick to posting [poop](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=9141) threads. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319/38 "2000-05-03T16:07:57Z")
S-A-TUR-DAY NIGHT! S-A-TUR-DAY NIGHT! S-S-S-Saturday Ni-ight! S-S-S-Saturday Ni-ight! ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319/39 "2000-05-03T17:55:59Z")
Ok thanks Esprix now I have that song stuck in my head for the rest of the say. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319/40 "2000-05-03T19:00:47Z")
From aha: > [@](#): > > I chose aha cause any sub specie monkey with a double row of teeth, tripping on LSD with a tuning fork stuck up his ass vibrating in C# could type it without looking and in a nano second. Just leave me out of it, OK? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-flaming-the-entire-sdmb/18319.md?page=3)