# I'm generally not a total idiot. But this one time... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 4, 2010, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660 "2010-01-04T19:27:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Fir\_na\_tine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fir\_na\_tine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fir_na_tine)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2010, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660/61 "2010-01-09T16:46:33Z")
Recently I was making a long series of repetitive cuts with a large table saw. After several hours I went to remove the workpiece before the blade stopped spinning. Stopped a spinning 10 inch rip blade with my thumb. Fortunately the blade was \*\*almost \*\*stopped and the blood didn’t fly **too far.** Was able to get by with several butterfly bandaids for a few weeks while it healed. Another 3 or 4 seconds earlier and my thumb would have been flying across the shop. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2010, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660/62 "2010-01-09T17:16:58Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > You know, sometimes **not** completely injuring yourself can be embarassing too. > > When I was a freshman in college, some friends talked me into going to the homecoming game. We painted blue pawprints on our faces (Wildcats) and sat through a long boring game. > > At the end of the game I learned two things: > > 1. Even on a cloudy October day, you can still get a sunburn if you’re outside long enough > 2. Facepaint makes good sunscreen > > Yep, I burned my whole face…except in the shape of a pawprint. That made for a fun week. Why did so many people ask if it was on purpose? Would anyone do that on purpose?! I kinda want to do that with my sunscreen next summer now (on my back, not my face, and just tanned, not burned in). ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2010, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660/63 "2010-01-09T18:02:04Z")
Precautionary warning - not that I’ve ever done this myself - no sireee. Don’t fry up bacon in the nude. Just saying! ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2010, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660/64 "2010-01-11T20:01:45Z")
> [@smithsb](#): > > Don’t fry up bacon in the nude. Now that you mention, I think an old boyfriend may have learned this lesson once frying up [puri](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puri_(food)). ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660/65 "2010-01-15T21:13:45Z")
Not my story, but one that never fails to get a wince. It’s all in the delivery… Friend of mine’s dad played football in high school, and the coach wasn’t a real smart man when it came to injuries. ‘Walk it off’ was the usual answer to anything. Anyway, friend’s dad, during a scrimmage, gets his leg sliced open by the cleats of another player. Coach sends him home, telling him to keep pressure on the cut and make sure he gets it all clean when he gets home. Well, he gets home, and thinks that maybe a wound this long / deep might need something more than just water to clean it. Hey! Bleach cleans real well… ---
**Author:** ![orderfire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/orderfire/32/10908_2.png) [@orderfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/orderfire)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660/66 "2010-01-15T21:55:03Z")
> [@robby](#): > > … a huge piece of glass set into a cheap metal frame. > > I still remember it like it was yesterday. I was falling, in slow motion, face first into the glass tabletop… This one actually freaks the hell out of me. I read an interview in the Hartford Advocate a few years back with a young lady who described how her fiancee bled to death in front of her, having just fallen into the glass coffee table. Holy crapulence. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2010, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660/67 "2010-01-16T06:55:57Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Yep, I burned my whole face…except in the shape of a pawprint. That made for a fun week. Why did so many people ask if it was on purpose? Would anyone do that on purpose?! I did this. Only, it was at a RenFaire, I was wearing a wench costume, and instead of pawprints on my face, it was a dragon’s tail going down into my cleavage. Damn tan lines lasted months. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2010, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660/68 "2010-01-17T17:28:26Z")
I went to my grandfather’s house one day, and he proudly showed me his new Ginsu knife. “I wonder if it’s as sharp as they say it is,” I said skeptically, running my thumb down the blade. I quickly learned the answer. Yes. Yes, it’s a sharp as they say it is. My mother was standing right next to me; when I showed her the gaping cut she rolled her eyes and said, “I hope you’re not expecting sympathy!” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2010, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660/69 "2010-01-17T18:33:59Z")
Do you always need to touch the paint to see if the sign is accurate, too, **Marlitharn**? 😃 (Your mom and my mom went to the same school of mothering, I see.) ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660/70 "2010-01-18T22:57:01Z")
> [@Marlitharn](#): > > “I wonder if it’s as sharp as they say it is,” I said skeptically, running my thumb down the blade. That’s why you drag wide edge of the blade across the ridges of your thumb (IOW, you drag it perpendicular to how you would if you were trying to cut). Or, better yet, fold a piece of paper and try to cut _that_. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660/71 "2010-01-18T22:59:09Z")
I superglued my pinky finger to the tip of my nose once. Two weeks later I superglued my thumb to it. ---
**Author:** ![horsetech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dec6dc/32.png) [@horsetech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/horsetech)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660/72 "2010-01-18T23:10:57Z")
Stop picking your nose while repairing small objects! ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660/73 "2010-01-18T23:12:36Z")
I wasn’t, I swear! It was just itchy. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Woodhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@Miss\_Woodhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Woodhouse)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660/74 "2010-01-18T23:55:07Z")
I decided to use a steak knife to pry something up. The surgery went well and both the tendon and nerve were fixed although I do still have some deadness in the tip of the finger. The anesthesiologist found it quite challenging to work around my six month pregnancy. It was kind of hard to tie my shoes for a few weeks. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660/75 "2010-01-19T00:35:39Z")
> [@robby](#): > > …Like the time I didn’t move the gas grill far enough away from the house, and melted a pretty big section of the vinyl siding. :smack: Are you my fiancee??? Not looking forward to dealing with that come move-out time… ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660/76 "2010-01-19T12:53:33Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > That’s why you drag wide edge of the blade across the ridges of your thumb (IOW, you drag it perpendicular to how you would if you were trying to cut). Or, better yet, fold a piece of paper and try to cut _that_. Oh, sure, NOW you tell me. ---
**Author:** ![justrob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a9adbd/32.png) [@justrob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justrob)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660/77 "2010-01-19T15:56:28Z")
> [@ArrMatey](#): > > Hey! Bleach cleans real well… Hey that reminds me of another one. When I was 18 or 19 I was trying join the Airforce. I went to take the MEPS test and the doctor said I had a wax build up in my ear that I needed to get cleared so they could do a pressure test if I wanted a posting that flew in any way. So I went home and was thinking “So self.” because that’s what I called myself then. “What would you use to clean off wax? Rubbing alcohol would work right? Brilliant!” So I put some rubbing alcohol on a q-tip and went to work. :eek: AAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!! It burned a little bit (meaning a whole lot). It seems rubbing alcohol is not very nice to the skin of the inner ear. After flushig the ear out with water I realized I couldn’t hear out of that ear so I made a doctors appt. It seemed the rubbing alcohol+flushing the ear managed to melt the way and close off the ear canal completely. The doctor flushed it out and I was able to hear again. That was over 20 years ago and that ear is still sensitive to cold breezes. ☹ I was lucky that I chose not to just flush it out with rubbing alcohol which was how I planned on using it at first. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660/78 "2010-01-19T16:28:21Z")
Jeeze, didn’t one of your parents ever pour hydrogen peroxide into your ear as a kid? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660/79 "2010-01-19T17:04:30Z")
> [@Miss\_Woodhouse](#): > > I decided to use a steak knife to pry something up. The surgery went well and both the tendon and nerve were fixed although I do still have some deadness in the tip of the finger. The anesthesiologist found it quite challenging to work around my six month pregnancy. > > It was kind of hard to tie my shoes for a few weeks. It only cost me a couple of knife tips to learn not to use knives to pry stuff. I keep a screwdriver (and hammer) in my kitchen now. ---
**Author:** ![DiggitCamara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df788c/32.png) [@DiggitCamara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiggitCamara)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660/80 "2010-01-19T17:19:50Z")
So, I went bowling by myself. And the ball somehow got stuck just before it reached the “rack” (where you usually pick it up). But I could see it was stuck just inside the hole. I thought “Hey, it’s easy to get it: just nudge it with your hand and it will get unstuck”. I was able to get it moving again. Unfortunately my hand was still there, so this time it got stuck because my hand didn’t allow it to get out and the machine still was trying to roll it out. I was lucky, though, an attendant helped me out and I didn’t even get a bruise! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-generally-not-a-total-idiot-but-this-one-time/523660.md?page=5)