# I'm getting a colonoscopy! Yay? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 26, 2015, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-a-colonoscopy-yay/713717 "2015-02-26T21:41:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Reeses\_Monkey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reeses_monkey/32/2885_2.png) [@Reeses\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeses_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-a-colonoscopy-yay/713717/1 "2015-02-26T21:41:37Z")
I’m kind of nervous about it. I’ve read the relevant [Dave Barry column](http://www.empowher.com/community/share/hilarious-dave-barry-column-about-colonoscopies) and watched the [Robin Williams routine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rRWI83yhRc) but I’d like some input from 'scoped Dopers, if there is any. (Especially if you have hints on how to drink the Evil Potion.) Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-a-colonoscopy-yay/713717/2 "2015-02-26T22:09:39Z")
Just do a search – you’d think this was a support message board for alien abductees based on the frequency of threads about anal probes. [Here’s the most recent.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=747908&highlight=colonoscopy) ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-a-colonoscopy-yay/713717/3 "2015-02-26T22:13:11Z")
> [@Finagle](#): > > Just do a search – you’d think this was a support message board for alien abductees based on the frequency of threads about anal probes. [Here’s the most recent.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=747908&highlight=colonoscopy) Once you realize that polyps are actually alien fetuses, and a colonoscopy is simply a midwifing procedure, _it all makes sense_. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-a-colonoscopy-yay/713717/4 "2015-02-26T23:40:44Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Once you realize that polyps are actually alien fetuses, and a colonoscopy is simply a midwifing procedure, _it all makes sense_. …maybe he wants Ripley both in and out of his rear… Dana Barrett: “I want you inside me.” Dr. Peter Venkman: “It sounds like you’ve got at least two or three people in there already.” ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-a-colonoscopy-yay/713717/5 "2015-02-26T23:59:45Z")
As you may read in lots of places, the only bad thing is the preparation the day before. The procedure itself is usually done under enough anesthesia that you’re not aware of anything. Then you wake up and fart. Definitely a better alternative to colon cancer. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-a-colonoscopy-yay/713717/6 "2015-02-27T00:34:58Z")
Do I have to drink nasty stuff? Can’t I just eat a lot of prunes? ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-a-colonoscopy-yay/713717/7 "2015-02-27T00:41:46Z")
> [@KRC](#): > > Do I have to drink nasty stuff? Can’t I just eat a lot of prunes? There will be nasty stuff. No one escapes. Remember, baby wipes and an iPad or similar device when you spend the day on that unforgiving porcelain. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-a-colonoscopy-yay/713717/8 "2015-02-27T00:54:53Z")
I just went through one last Monday. It was my third. My new tip; The drink is vile, but have a spoonful or two of Italian ice or the equivalent to clear the taste from your mouth. ---
**Author:** ![usedtobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ec9cab/32.png) [@usedtobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usedtobe)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-a-colonoscopy-yay/713717/9 "2015-02-27T00:57:05Z")
We are twice blessed, Dopers! Two - count 'em - Two Colonoscopy Threads at once! Oh joy! Oh joy! ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-a-colonoscopy-yay/713717/10 "2015-02-27T01:01:18Z")
> [@usedtobe](#): > > We are twice blessed, Dopers! > > Two - count 'em - Two Colonoscopy Threads at once! > > Oh joy! Oh joy! We should’ve gone for a group discount. ---
**Author:** ![Grotonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c2a13f/32.png) [@Grotonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grotonian)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-a-colonoscopy-yay/713717/11 "2015-02-27T01:19:22Z")
Drink the nasty shit, no matter how gross it is. My mother went for a colonoscopy this past Tuesday. She drank less than half. They did the scope, but she wasn’t “clean enough” and has to go through it all again next week. Don’t ask why she tells her kids this stuff; she just does. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-a-colonoscopy-yay/713717/12 "2015-02-27T01:22:46Z")
she is just saving you from a do over. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-a-colonoscopy-yay/713717/13 "2015-02-27T01:34:52Z")
I don’t understand the nasty taste of the laxative comments. Sure, it doesn’t taste nice but it’s fucking medicine, not a Starbuck’s frappacino. Big deal. Just drink the stuff. I had no issues with that. Good luck! You’ll be readdy to eat a dead horse afterwards though. Or as the Scots say, “a scabby dug.” ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-a-colonoscopy-yay/713717/14 "2015-02-27T01:38:16Z")
For mine, last week, they had me first take 4 pills; no big deal. Then I had to dissolve some powdered stuff into a clear liquid of my choice (I used white grape juice) and then drink it on a schedule over about 4-5 hours. And of course take only clear liquids and Jello all day. It was really not that bad. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-a-colonoscopy-yay/713717/15 "2015-02-27T01:39:35Z")
Other than drinking the GoLytely and basically blowing my asshole off as a result of it, mine haven’t been all that bad. My big suggestion is that if you feel the need to pass gas (assuming you’re awake like I was) just go ahead and do it - it ain’t like they haven’t heard it all before and no matter where their hands are, their faces are going to be looking at the screen. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-a-colonoscopy-yay/713717/16 "2015-02-27T01:42:03Z")
I was farting like a champ afterwards and trying to apologize. The nurse kinda smiled and said “No problem. It’s normal and I’m happy for you.” Or something to that effect. ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-a-colonoscopy-yay/713717/17 "2015-02-27T01:49:17Z")
I just had one on Monday. Maybe I should have started a thread? ---
**Author:** ![Reeses\_Monkey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reeses_monkey/32/2885_2.png) [@Reeses\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeses_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-a-colonoscopy-yay/713717/18 "2015-02-27T01:50:08Z")
Italian ices sound good. Thanks, **RealityChuck**. I’ll have to make sure I don’t eat the red ones. My instructions are to drink 2 liters in 2 hours the day before and 2 more liters 5 hours before the procedure on the day of. Here’s the thing, though. I don’t drink that much in an entire day. I work at an inbound call center and can’t be running to the bathroom whenever I feel like it. I think the hardest part will be getting that much fluid in me in such a short amount of time. Oh, and sorry for not searching for other colonoscopy threads. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-a-colonoscopy-yay/713717/19 "2015-02-27T01:52:28Z")
Starting a colonoscopy thread is a Doper rite of passage. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-a-colonoscopy-yay/713717/20 "2015-02-27T02:03:14Z")
How many prostate exam threads have we started? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-a-colonoscopy-yay/713717.md?page=2)