# I'm getting my husband fixed today. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 5, 2000, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-my-husband-fixed-today/35762 "2000-10-05T13:26:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-my-husband-fixed-today/35762/21 "2000-10-05T18:09:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AWB \* > \*\*Be warned: even though most fixed husbands won’t spray, some still will. > > Oh, wait. That’s fixed cats, not husbands. > > Husbands will still spray. :D:D \*\* True, but this should keep him from trying to hump the neighbors’ legs when they come to visit.😃 (I’m assuming, **KimKatt** , that it’s okay if he just humps **your** leg.) ---
**Author:** ![Diver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diver)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-my-husband-fixed-today/35762/22 "2000-10-05T19:10:01Z")
Had it done 27 years ago on a Friday. Spent Saturday in bed with ice. Spent Sunday on the couch watching TV. Went to work Monday. Went snowmobile riding the next Saturday. Tell him those aren’t scars, they are dual racing stripes. ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-my-husband-fixed-today/35762/23 "2000-10-05T19:26:11Z")
Uh, I’m with Coldyclogs here… ::Shudder:: Legs clenched together, kinda like when you mention ‘episiotomy’ and ‘styptic pencil’ in the same sentence around women…😃 Best of luck, Mr. Katt! ---
**Author:** ![lolagranola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ea5d25/32.png) [@lolagranola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lolagranola)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-my-husband-fixed-today/35762/24 "2000-10-05T19:27:51Z")
I pampered my man for a few days afterward. I thought I owed it to him since he pampered me after passing our children through my birth canal. He took it really easy. He was sore, but recovered over the weekend. He says that he still gets the odd twinge there too. I thought the bruising looked awful! I was so relieved when that went away. ---
**Author:** ![RalfCoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@RalfCoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RalfCoder)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-my-husband-fixed-today/35762/25 "2000-10-05T20:51:24Z")
Got mine done maybe 8-10 years ago in an out-paitient clinic. The hardest part was getting the counseling from the butch female doctor who was on duty the day I went in to ask about it, instead of my own male doctor. Haven’t regretted it since, although the whisps of smoke from the cauterization were a bit un-nerving. You may already know that in some cases this can be reversed IN SOME CASES, but it’s expensive, time-consuming, and not always possible. Be sure you want to do this first. I was black and blue for a couple of days, fading through purple, green, red, etc. The procedure was a snap (should I say snip?). It took 20-30 minutes, and the urologist used my equipment to train an intern how to do this. Without asking me, I might add. At least he could have found someone cuter than this guy. Like a woman, maybe? Is that so much to ask? OK, back on topic. Treat hubby with TLC, follow the doctor’s orders, and be sure that he knows the standard vasectomy joke that ALL guys use. See, when they do this procedure, they tape Mr. Willy down to keep him out of the way. At the end of the procedure, they have to remove that tape. It took months for my chest hair to grow back… ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-my-husband-fixed-today/35762/26 "2000-10-05T21:13:10Z")
My husband was fixed about six years ago. He had swelling and pain for a couple of days and twinges for a couple of weeks afterward. I wish we’d known about the frozen veggies, since I had a hell of a time getting the ice small enough that it didn’t jostle his goods. He said it hurt like HELL for just a second during the operation, and I started to feel sorry for him until I remembered the seven hours (total) of hard labor I went through - not to mention the 18 months of pregnancy and four YEARS of breastfeeding. All in all, I think the guys are getting off fairly easy, don’t you? ---
**Author:** ![jesuslynch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e99b99/32.png) [@jesuslynch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesuslynch)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2000, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-my-husband-fixed-today/35762/27 "2000-10-05T21:14:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Simetra \* > **\ They “do” that?!** Yeah. After surgery, they give them to your wife to carry around in her purse so you have to ask her for them everytime you want to play with them. ---
**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-my-husband-fixed-today/35762/28 "2000-10-06T02:21:36Z")
Hey, all, thanks for your support (pun intended) 🙂 He’s home, and snipped. No last minute chicken out. At the moment, he says, there is no discomfort at all. He’s had ice under the boys since arriving at home. **Mr. Cynical** - well, it wasn’t my leg I had in mind… 😃 **jesuslynch** - ROTFL!! **aenea** - giggling. Yep. Giggling even as I type. I just can’t help it. **stuffnb** - Mr. Katt says not to make him laugh that hard 😃 **RalfCoder** - I’m telling the guys that at work tomorrow, absolutely 😃 Hubby says to tell you all thanks for the good advice and the horror stories 😉 And he was out cold, so he didn’t have to see the smoke, thankfully! ---
**Author:** ![Rectangle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c4cdca/32.png) [@Rectangle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rectangle)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-my-husband-fixed-today/35762/29 "2000-10-06T08:41:43Z")
The wife has it backwards, I guess. From my point of view, the left side, (my left) took 5 mins. The right side took 45 mins. He had to make an incision like this |\_|, and fold the flap back. At one point he mentioned taking me to the hospital if he didn’t find the tube within the next five minutes. That was after he squeezed my right ‘buddy’ for about 30 minutes. I told him lets take a break so I could catch my breath, and let my lower back touch the table for a minute or two. After I caught my breath, and he rested his hands, it only took about another 10 minutes. I had to keep apologizing to his nurse for that 30 mins. I was going oww!, GD!!, S\*\*T!!, SOB!!, sorry ma’am. Those valuims are GOOD STUFF!! But it caused me to not watch my language. She took me home, fed me on the way, and then she went to work. I put a ice pack on 'em, and watched tv and slept with Mr. Percoset.(sp) She came home, we ordered food and I went to bed. That night, she was hurting, (see thread on Crohns) so I had to ‘hobble’ to the 2nd bedroom. The next day I did my own lunch. She cooked dinner. The next day I cooked dinner. I’m a horny bastard, and I read somewhere in the handouts that it takes app 20 ‘shots’ to clear your system. I probably passed that two weeks ago!! So I’m gonna call the Dr and see if I can go ahead and get tested. If I had known what was going to happen, i.e. 1 hr on the table, I would still have it done tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![jesuslynch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e99b99/32.png) [@jesuslynch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesuslynch)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-my-husband-fixed-today/35762/30 "2000-10-06T13:15:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KimKatt \* > **jesuslynch** - ROTFL!! Thank you. Thank you very much. My very first ROTFL!! I’ll get my wife to put in her purse with the rest of my stuff. ---
**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2000, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-my-husband-fixed-today/35762/31 "2000-10-13T15:03:31Z")
The hubby is still alive and well, and intact. However, silly boy that he is, after having absolutely no discomfort on Thursday or Friday, on Saturday afternoon he changed a tire. Bad move. He limped around for a couple of days after that. Note to any men contemplating this - check the tire pressure beforehand. Changing flats afterwards is bad. There’s some really dark purple bruises, and one little teensy incision mark. That’s it. He’s still fully functional - we checked :D. The first follow up appointment with the doc is Monday, but it’s obvious that all is well. ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2000, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-my-husband-fixed-today/35762/32 "2000-10-13T16:16:17Z")
I just have to say I like the number of guys who have posted here who say this was a good thing. We should form a club or something. Any ideas for a name? We could even have a theme song… I know of guys who would rather their wife went in for some major surger rather than have someone come close to their boys with a knife and in my case a laser. They’re self centered idiots. Lola has spent 36 months of her life pregnant, spent days in labour, and needed complete bed rest with the last two babies. My down time was a few days. The procedure was completely painless and I took a few days off from work. Things were pretty tender for a bit but it was a small price to pay, the colours were pretty psychedelic too. We guys don’t often gather together over beer to share vasectomy stories… For the record: Lola spoils me a lot. ---
**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2000, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-my-husband-fixed-today/35762/33 "2000-10-13T18:29:54Z")
Proposed theme songs for the boys’ V-Club: Bryan Adams - Cuts Like a Knife John Cougar - Hurts So Good AC/DC - Big Balls My hubby has suggested that he has gained a new pick-up line out of the deal too. “Hey, baby, wanna see my vasectomy scar?” ---
**Author:** ![JTR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee59a6/32.png) [@JTR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JTR)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2000, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-my-husband-fixed-today/35762/34 "2000-10-13T20:17:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KimKatt \* > **Proposed theme songs for the boys’ V-Club:** Lynyrd Skynyrd - Gimme Back My Bullets (Just kidding. Wouldn’t change a thing.) ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2000, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-my-husband-fixed-today/35762/35 "2000-10-13T20:43:11Z")
Uh huh, and our mascot would be Blankman? ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2000, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-my-husband-fixed-today/35762/36 "2000-10-13T20:58:41Z")
My dad had one after my mom and he had my sister and I. From thereon, he called himself a “sports model”. ---
**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2000, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-my-husband-fixed-today/35762/37 "2000-10-15T00:14:42Z")
BunnyGirl, the hubby has now adopted a new nickname. He’s the “sports model.” You should see the smirk. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-getting-my-husband-fixed-today/35762.md?page=1)