# I'm glad I don't have to be put through Valentine's Day **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 14, 2016, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070 "2016-02-14T00:25:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2016, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/21 "2016-02-14T20:30:15Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > You have a daughter don’t you? I love getting Valentines Day stuff from my dad wait, what? from your _Dad_? Valentines day stuff from your _Dad_? In what scenario can that be appropriate or tastefull? Valentines day is surely a day for those romantically/sexually attached. My daughter is a great kid but there is zero chance of her getting any valentine’s day gifts from me. I shudder at the thought of _The Look_ she’d give me if I did. Or is that another trans-atlantic cultural quirk that I’m blissfully unaware of? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2016, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/22 "2016-02-14T20:54:53Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > wait, what? from your _Dad_? Valentines day stuff from your _Dad_? > > In what scenario can that be appropriate or tastefull? Valentines day is surely a day for those romantically/sexually attached. My daughter is a great kid but there is zero chance of her getting any valentine’s day gifts from me. I shudder at the thought of _The Look_ she’d give me if I did. > > Or is that another trans-atlantic cultural quirk that I’m blissfully unaware of? Ya. This side of the Atlantic is nuts with stuff like this. Mass marketing and all. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2016, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/23 "2016-02-14T21:14:04Z")
As a kid, my mother would always give me and my sister chocolate for Valentine’s Day. I thought it was really sweet. But it probably would have been seemed weirder if my father had done this. ---
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2016, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/24 "2016-02-14T21:18:42Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I despise the forced commercialism. Then don’t do it. Don’t buy into it in your next relationship. I prefer to be surprised with an experience or little gift on any day that isn’t Valentine’s Day. I get why people like to acknowledge the day, but to me there’s something about the day being THE assigned day that takes the romance out of it. I’ve known people (mostly women) who build up huge expectations that only lead to disappointment. And that expectation puts too much pressure on their partners. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2016, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/25 "2016-02-14T21:39:04Z")
There’s lots of commercialism. There’s no forced commercialism. Or at least none forceful enough to drive my behavior. You get to choose. We all do. Today I sang her the special Valentine’s song[sup]1[/sup] and she did the same for me. We haven’t figured out dinner for tonight yet but I can 100% guarantee it won’t be at a restaurant. Too crowded with folks accepting the commercialism. She gets flowers most weeks and told how special she is about 20 times a day every day. She doesn’t need much more on Valentines day. ======= 1. \*Happy Birthday \*(now a [public domain tune](http://loweringthebar.net/2016/02/happy-birthday-settlement.html)) with suitably altered words. We use it for every holiday or special occasion right around the year. Ground Hog Day, National Monster Truck Day; you name it, it fits. ---
**Author:** ![Sangahyando](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Sangahyando](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sangahyando)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2016, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/26 "2016-02-14T21:49:54Z")
I’m overall a feeble dripping-wet tolerance-merchant, feeling re Valentine’s Day as re most things, “let those who enjoy it, do so; let those who hate it, do so – no need for the two sides to go at each other with machetes, over it”. That being so – I consider it a commercially-driven rip-off matter, and would therefore wish to have no truck with it. I was very glad when it was tacitly mutually agreed between me and my “ex” – we remain on friendly terms – that we would stop with the Valentine’s stuff. My very sensible twenty-year-old niece, on being asked by her boyfriend and likely future husband about her feelings re Valentine’s Day, replied to him, “it’s a rip-off and commercial scam, which I hate and boycott – you give me anything for ‘Valentine’s’, and our relationship is over”. Boyfriend replied – “fine – my own feelings, exactly”. ---
**Author:** ![Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emtar_KronJonDerSohn)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2016, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/27 "2016-02-14T22:24:30Z")
> [@BeeGee](#): > > I was amused to see about a dozen bouquets delivered to work Friday. I guess it’s no good getting flowers unless your co-workers see it. From 12 I guarantee at least two were ordered and paid for by the recipients. At home they just die unnoticed, at work they make you look desired. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/28 "2016-02-15T01:06:20Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > wait, what? from your _Dad_? Valentines day stuff from your _Dad_? > > In what scenario can that be appropriate or tastefull? Valentines day is surely a day for those romantically/sexually attached. My daughter is a great kid but there is zero chance of her getting any valentine’s day gifts from me. I shudder at the thought of _The Look_ she’d give me if I did. > > Or is that another trans-atlantic cultural quirk that I’m blissfully unaware of? Or, it’s just a day to celebrate love. It doesn’t have to be about schtupping and boning. Why do they have Valentine’s Day parties at elementary schools? Just like you can see Christmas a day to celebrate the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ Our Savior…or Santa and presents (or both, whatevs) ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/29 "2016-02-15T01:28:58Z")
My mom used to send me tulips for valentine’s day every year. I sure miss her. I think the day is for love, not just romantic love. Which seems like a really good thing. I’m sorry there are so many soured people here and I wish some love for all of you. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/30 "2016-02-15T02:12:23Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > This is my first in almost 24 years alone. We never went over the top, but it was fun. As much for me as him. So, I miss it. Would you feel better if someone delivered a dozen roses to you? [spoiler]@–\>–\>— @–\>–\>— @–\>–\>— @–\>–\>— @–\>–\>— @–\>–\>— @–\>–\>— @–\>–\>— @–\>–\>— @–\>–\>— @–\>–\>— @–\>–\>— 😃 [/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/31 "2016-02-15T03:00:55Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Or, it’s just a day to celebrate love. It doesn’t have to be about schtupping and boning. Why do they have Valentine’s Day parties at elementary schools? Yep – my dad gets us all candy on Valentines’ day. I’d never read anything into it. (That and he’s the type who likes to buy people presents.) ---
**Author:** ![BobArrgh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobarrgh/32/2881_2.png) [@BobArrgh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobArrgh)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/32 "2016-02-15T03:11:49Z")
Darn you, **Spiderman!** I was going to give **faithfool** a rose. **faithfool** : I know holidays can be rough for those who have lost a loved one. Smile at the good memories, and who cares if it brings a tear to your eyes! **Mean Mr. Mustard** : I agree with you. My wife and I are celebrating our 33rd year of marriage, and we don’t really do a lot for Valentine’s Day. For many years, we would stay home and cook each other a really special meal. Last year, I treated her to a fancy and seriously expensive dinner. I think the cost of that dinner alone will cover us for the next 3 years. **Novelty Bobble** : About 15 years ago – when my daughters were still in junior high and high school – I started giving them a single rose on Valentine’s Day. I still do, except it keeps getting expensive. Not because the price of flowers is going up, but because I have so many more to deliver. This year, it was 2 for my daughters, 3 for my granddaughters, and a big balloon with monkeys on it for my grandson. It is my way of letting them know that there is one man in their life who will **always** love them. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/33 "2016-02-15T07:32:08Z")
We’ve been together 12 years and see it as a great excuse to exchange ridiculous amounts of chocolate. 😃 My dad also used to give me gifts. My mom still does (as I do with her). Nothing weird about it. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/34 "2016-02-15T15:18:56Z")
Thank you all. It was a better day than expected and I love the roses. And as far as it being a holiday celebrated by those who aren’t romantically involved? I’m all about any reason to be sweet to others. All my family and friends give silly, cutsie Valentine crap and I really appreciate it. Just like the saying that “It’s 5:00 somewhere!,” any excuse for a chance to escape the drudgery of life is good enough for me. As to this… > [@Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](#): > > From 12 I guarantee at least two were ordered and paid for by the recipients. At home they just die unnoticed, at work they make you look desired. Or, yanno, maybe the people who _send them_ want it to be known how crazy they are about the one they love? Everything doesn’t always have to be so cynical. I know when I’ve sent flowers to folks before, it’s about my feelings for them and wanting shout it from the rooftops. Not about validation. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/35 "2016-02-15T15:28:12Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > wait, what? from your _Dad_? Valentines day stuff from your _Dad_? > > In what scenario can that be appropriate or tastefull? Valentines day is surely a day for those romantically/sexually attached. My daughter is a great kid but there is zero chance of her getting any valentine’s day gifts from me. I shudder at the thought of _The Look_ she’d give me if I did. > > Or is that another trans-atlantic cultural quirk that I’m blissfully unaware of? I’ve always known Valentine’s Day as mainly a kid’s thing, mostly abandoned with the transition to Jr. High/middle school. In high school any girl who expected valentines from her boyfriend was considered kind of childish. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/36 "2016-02-15T15:45:38Z")
We always do an anti-valentines day thing. This year we went to MadMex, where they treated couples as exes or future exes. It was great, there was a menu special, and we drank a lot. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/37 "2016-02-15T16:01:42Z")
I agree that high schoolers might consider it childish. But those are kids trying very hard to pretend they’re adults. So they’re very big on turning their back on any “childish” behaviors they used to do. Sappy paper Valentine’s cards being one of those. Fast forward to college age or beyond and the idea of romantic gestures regains its allure. Because it works to get chix! Or doodz. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/38 "2016-02-15T16:01:49Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > wait, what? from your _Dad_? Valentines day stuff from your _Dad_? > > In what scenario can that be appropriate or tastefull? Valentines day is surely a day for those romantically/sexually attached. My daughter is a great kid but there is zero chance of her getting any valentine’s day gifts from me. I shudder at the thought of _The Look_ she’d give me if I did. > > Or is that another trans-atlantic cultural quirk that I’m blissfully unaware of? > [@Leaffan](#): > > Ya. This side of the Atlantic is nuts with stuff like this. Mass marketing and all. This stuff drives me nuts. My brother’s wife once objected to my not wishing her on Mother’s Day. I said, “but you’re not my mother!” She said, “But I am _a_ mother.” My position remains firmly that Mother’s Day is only for wishing your _own_ mother, not just anyone and everyone who happens to be _someone’s_ mother. It’s for reasons like this that over the years, fewer and fewer people want to talk to me. ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/39 "2016-02-15T18:07:04Z")
I thought I felt the same way about Valentine’s Day, until he took me to an absolutely abysmal family Valentine’s day party that was about as much fun as rubbing sandpaper on my face. Then I realized, yes, I DO want him to get me a token box of chocolate, because I effing love chocolate and he otherwise never buys any for me, and I DO want him to take me to that restaurant that I’ve asked him to pick a date to go to for a year, because otherwise he never has a good reason to take me. And I want him to do me afterwards, because who doesn’t like a good lay? I bought him chocolates, and at least he got real thoughtful after he said “Oh, you didn’t have to, you know we don’t really care about Valentine’s Day!” (as he stuffs one in his face) and I replied, “True…but I did end up getting you chocolates every Valentine’s we’ve been together, haven’t I? Just because I know you love chocolate.” And then I think he fully realized his mistake when I said we were never going to hang out with a bunch of old family members talking about their health and financial problems on valentine’s day ever again. Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/40 "2016-02-15T18:13:31Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Or, it’s just a day to celebrate love. It doesn’t have to be about schtupping and boning. Why do they have Valentine’s Day parties at elementary schools? wait…you have _what_ now? I think we’ve firmly established a cultural divide here. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070.md?page=3)