# I'm glad I don't have to be put through Valentine's Day **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 14, 2016, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070 "2016-02-14T00:25:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sangahyando](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Sangahyando](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sangahyando)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/41 "2016-02-15T18:33:57Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > This stuff drives me nuts. My brother’s wife once objected to my not wishing her on Mother’s Day. I said, “but you’re not my mother!” She said, “But I am _a_ mother.” > > My position remains firmly that Mother’s Day is only for wishing your _own_ mother, not just anyone and everyone who happens to be _someone’s_ mother. By my understanding, Anna Jarvis (IIRC 1864 – 1948), the founder of Mother’s Day, was insistent that Mother’s Day was about honouring one’s own mother, not motherhood in general. It was largely due to her lobbying, that the second Sunday in May was recognised in the USA in 1914, as Mother’s Day. Jarvis seems to have been a fierce and combative lady, insisting strongly that “her word was _the_ word – end-of”". ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/42 "2016-02-15T18:47:54Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > wait…you have _what_ now? > > I think we’ve firmly established a cultural divide here. Yes, when I was in elementary school in the mid-1970s, on Valentine’s Day, every person in class made a Valentine’s Day mailbox out of a shoebox and then brought in 30-40 cheap Valentine’s Day cards that might feature a cartoon character like Snoopy or Batman and dropped one in every box in homeroom. And the homeroom teacher passed out those chalky little heart-shaped candies with short phrases written on them. We were 5, 6, 7 years old. We had no idea what Valentine’s Day meant to older folks, but we knew what it was like to feel left out. So everyone got one from each person in the class, regardless of gender or love or anything else. ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/43 "2016-02-15T19:05:32Z")
> [@BeeGee](#): > > I was amused to see about a dozen bouquets delivered to work Friday. I guess it’s no good getting flowers unless your co-workers see it. Or maybe work is where they will get the most enjoyment out of flowers, since they are at work 40 hours a week. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/44 "2016-02-15T19:21:20Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > wait…you have _what_ now? > > I think we’ve firmly established a cultural divide here. You’re in England, right? So in England, Valentine’s Day is for grownups only, and only the one you’re in love with/sleeping with? No, it began as a day for little kids as far as my experience goes (in Illinois, in the 50s), and only with the urging of the marketplace did it get to be for lovers. The decorated shoebox mentioned earlier, the hand-made valentines, the paper lace doilies: all those were for kids. Little kids. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/45 "2016-02-15T19:33:16Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > wait…you have _what_ now? > > I think we’ve firmly established a cultural divide here. Well, yeah. Kids make fancy little boxes with paper hearts and then put in valentine cards (you can buy them at the store – usually with various cartoon characters, or other pop-culture themes). Then everyone has cookies, candy, games, etc. It’s a tradition and no one ever thought anything sexual about it. In fact, the idea that anyone would consider that seems really bizarre. (And the rule was you had to have a valentine for everyone, or not at all.) ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/46 "2016-02-15T20:18:27Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > You’re in England, right? So in England, Valentine’s Day is for grownups only, and only the one you’re in love with/sleeping with?. In my own experience (and my wife, I just checked to make sure I’m not too far out of line here) yep, pretty much. Certainly not a little kid thing, I’ve got two of my own that are pre-teen and it has never been an organised thing with them at school, and wasn’t for me either unless it was a specific, targeted card to a girl you had romantic designs on. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/47 "2016-02-15T21:47:24Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > wait, what? from your _Dad_? Valentines day stuff from your _Dad_? > > In what scenario can that be appropriate or tastefull? Valentines day is surely a day for those romantically/sexually attached. My daughter is a great kid but there is zero chance of her getting any valentine’s day gifts from me. I shudder at the thought of _The Look_ she’d give me if I did. My father gives me a big card and if it’s not Lent (like it is this year), sometimes candy. It’s big card about what a great daughter I am and how he loves me. 🙂 He lived with Mom 44 years and gave her cards and candy, and now she is dead and he lives with me and gives me cards and candy. Nothing sexual about it. I don’t reciprocate but not because it’s weird. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/48 "2016-02-15T22:09:50Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Thank you all. It was a better day than expected and I love the roses. > > And as far as it being a holiday celebrated by those who aren’t romantically involved? I’m all about any reason to be sweet to others. All my family and friends give silly, cutsie Valentine crap and I really appreciate it. Just like the saying that “It’s 5:00 somewhere!,” any excuse for a chance to escape the drudgery of life is good enough for me. Since you loved the roses, & it’s 5 o’clock, you’re buying the first round, right? Right? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/49 "2016-02-15T22:33:34Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > wait…you have _what_ now? > > I think we’ve firmly established a cultural divide here. Yes, and we made Valentine’s cards for our moms. :eek: The cool kids brought in nice storebought Valentines to distribute to the class. Kids like me made homemade ones. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/50 "2016-02-15T22:36:40Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > Since you loved the roses, & it’s 5 o’clock, you’re buying the first round, right? Right? 😉 Heh. I’m agreeable to round one. And since this is a frilly, frou frou holiday I’m not celebrating this year, we’ll make it umbrella drinks. I’ll take a strawberry Pina Coloda. Whadaya have? ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/51 "2016-02-15T22:44:04Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I agree that high schoolers might consider it childish. But those are kids trying very hard to pretend they’re adults. So they’re very big on turning their back on any “childish” behaviors they used to do. Sappy paper Valentine’s cards being one of those. > > Fast forward to college age or beyond and the idea of romantic gestures regains its allure. Because it works to get chix! Or doodz. 🙂 Nope, still considered childish in all three colleges I attended. And in adulthood. I’m getting dangerously close to geezerhood - maybe something will be different then, but I doubt it. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/52 "2016-02-15T23:17:58Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Well, yeah. Kids make fancy little boxes with paper hearts and then put in valentine cards (you can buy them at the store – usually with various cartoon characters, or other pop-culture themes). Then everyone has cookies, candy, games, etc. It’s a tradition and no one ever thought anything sexual about it. In fact, the idea that anyone would consider that seems really bizarre. > > (And the rule was you had to have a valentine for everyone, or not at all.) Not only that, but we used to make them. In class! Red construction paper, cut up doilies. Buying the cartoon ones was a big step up. 3rd or 4th grade for that craziness. We don’t make too big a thing of it, other than planning a nice dinner with the family. We also exchange, er, gift certificates for, er, favors. 😉 OTOH, if he wants to give me flowers (hasn’t happened yet), I would probably be thrilled and might even cry happy tears. Really. It’s always nice to be appreciated. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2016, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/53 "2016-02-15T23:43:21Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > In my own experience (and my wife, I just checked to make sure I’m not too far out of line here) yep, pretty much. Certainly not a little kid thing, I’ve got two of my own that are pre-teen and it has never been an organised thing with them at school, and wasn’t for me either unless it was a specific, targeted card to a girl you had romantic designs on. Why is it so shocking that holidays are celebrated differently in various countries? I don’t see it as being “too far out of line”. ---
**Author:** ![Lobot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce7236/32.png) [@Lobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobot)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/54 "2016-02-16T04:42:08Z")
As an Aussie, I was a bit surprised by the way the Valentine’s Day was depicted on The Simpsons, with kids giving each other cards as a school activity. Outside of the U.S., the day has romantic connotations, as in “A day for lovers”. That’s why it’s so jarring to hear about kids giving/receiving Valentine’s cards, especially with adults. ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/55 "2016-02-16T04:49:21Z")
I always viewed it as one of the Hallmark Holidays and thus really didn’t like to observe it much, a fact both of my exes could readily attest. I’ll leave it to the reader to assign cause and effect as desired. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/56 "2016-02-16T07:28:30Z")
Well in Finland it’s celebrated as “[Friend’s Day](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine%27s_Day#Finland_and_Estonia)”. So it doesn’t even have the romantic association. Look at things like Saint Patrick’s Day – in Ireland, it’s a religious holiday, right? Yet here in America, it’s basically, “Get Completely Shit-faced on Green Beer Day”. Different strokes for different folks. ---
**Author:** ![Sangahyando](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Sangahyando](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sangahyando)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/57 "2016-02-16T08:33:41Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Well in Finland it’s celebrated as “[Friend’s Day](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine%27s_Day#Finland_and_Estonia)”. So it doesn’t even have the romantic association. > Look at things like Saint Patrick’s Day – in Ireland, it’s a religious holiday, right? Yet here in America, it’s basically, “Get Completely Shit-faced on Green Beer Day”. > > Different strokes for different folks. I love Ireland, but am an ignorant Saxon, and not Catholic – so, better-informed folks, please put me right: but I have the impression that there’s an unofficial dispensation re St. Patrick’s Day – March 17th, usually falling within Lent – that people may in celebration, consume alcohol to the max, on that day. The highly-devout may continue their Lenten abstinence through March 17th – but that’s up to them, and they have no call to reprove the less-devout who choose to do otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/58 "2016-02-16T09:03:00Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Why is it so shocking that holidays are celebrated differently in various countries? I don’t see it as being “too far out of line”. I was checking to see if my perception of UK valentines celebrations was “too far out of line” with reality. Believe me it takes a lot more than a cultural quirk to shock me. The fact remains that ostensibly similar celebrations seem to take on very different forms in our two countries. Part of the rich fabric of life of course. Are you surprised that over here it has a far more sexual connotations? ---
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/59 "2016-02-16T13:43:45Z")
> [@Sangahyando](#): > > I love Ireland, but am an ignorant Saxon, and not Catholic – so, better-informed folks, please put me right: but I have the impression that there’s an unofficial dispensation re St. Patrick’s Day – March 17th, usually falling within Lent – that people may in celebration, consume alcohol to the max, on that day. The highly-devout may continue their Lenten abstinence through March 17th – but that’s up to them, and they have no call to reprove the less-devout who choose to do otherwise. What? Alcohol is not forbidden during Lent for Catholics. If you choose to give up alcohol as a Lenten sacrifice, that’s your business, and if you decide to go out and get shitfaced on St. Patrick’s Day instead, that’s also your business. There isn’t any sort of dispensation or anything, because it’s not an actual problem. What does occasionally happen is when St. Patrick’s Day falls on a Friday, which is a day of abstinence (i.e., meatless day), local bishops will offer a dispensation so people can eat corned beef and cabbage (traditional St. Patrick’s Day foods) without problems. You can drink your face off, though. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2016, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070/60 "2016-02-16T14:18:10Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > Are you surprised that over here it has a far more sexual connotations? I’m not surprised that it has sexual connotations for people who are in a sexual relationship or who are potential sexual partners. That connotation exists in America as well; the difference is that here it can also have non-sexual connotations. What surprises me—well, is “surprise” the proper word? perhaps not—is that it is apparently limited to only that connotation. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-i-dont-have-to-be-put-through-valentines-day/746070.md?page=4)