# "I'm glad they killed Jesus"....No Shit Dumfuck!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 12, 2006, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-they-killed-jesus-no-shit-dumfuck/360422 "2006-06-12T14:21:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-they-killed-jesus-no-shit-dumfuck/360422/1 "2006-06-12T14:21:11Z")
[Stupid fucks.](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13205964/) If you’re going to vandalize a sacred shrine take the time to prepare. I dunno, like maybe run the list of possible desecrations past the english teacher at your local public school beforehand. Or drag a dictionary with for possible last minute changes or impromtu. Such wit as, “Hell will Rule!”, “Hail Satin”, and “I’m glad they killed Jesus” was spray painted on various religious elements. I’m no Sherlock, but I could deduct the following from the limited amount of reporting in the article; High school level ‘cleverness’ of graffiti, Low acedemic achiever in english and writing classes (I submit Satin (sic)), Non-parochial education (I further submit, “I’m glad they killed Jesus”, intended without the ironic implications, I’m sure). I could have raced over to the nearest highschool and grabbed about ten kids that fit this description. But the cops didn’t even need to do this. And for God’s sake, don’t return the scene of the crime with your buddies [hours](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13222843/) later to show of your handiwork. It’s like laying rubber and then making a u-turn to look at the tire marks on the pavement while the cops show up. Then, don’t fall for the simplest trick in the police handbook, > [@](#): > > When Killey asked one of the suspects simply whether he could provide information about the recent church vandalism, without mentioning the graffiti, the suspect blurted out: “I don’t know anything about any spray paint,” the report says. ---
**Author:** ![Plynck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Plynck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plynck)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-they-killed-jesus-no-shit-dumfuck/360422/2 "2006-06-12T14:33:52Z")
> [@Uncommon Sense](#): > > …Low acedemic achiever in english and writing classes (I submit Satin (sic))… ::…must not tempt Gaudere by going for the cheap laugh…:: I believe that you are correct. I suspect that their poor spelling is to blame for this tragic mistake: They thought they were Santa’s little helpers… ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-they-killed-jesus-no-shit-dumfuck/360422/3 "2006-06-12T14:42:28Z")
> [@Plynck](#): > > ::…must not tempt Gaudere by going for the cheap laugh…:: No, by all means. 😉 Don’t hold yourself back. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-they-killed-jesus-no-shit-dumfuck/360422/4 "2006-06-12T15:23:33Z")
Maybe they just really like smooth sheets. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-they-killed-jesus-no-shit-dumfuck/360422/5 "2006-06-12T15:46:11Z")
It’s instances like this one that make me yearn for the term “hard labor” in court sentences. Make them clean it up. All of it. With toothbrushes and Bon-Ami. While bus-loads of children from the local schools taunt them and spit on them. Then break their index fingers. My hatred for vandals runs deep, it does. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-they-killed-jesus-no-shit-dumfuck/360422/6 "2006-06-12T16:28:28Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > Maybe they just really like smooth sheets. Maybe they’ll get satin sheets in the county jail? I wonder what satan sheets would feel like. ---
**Author:** ![FlyingDragonFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c89c15/32.png) [@FlyingDragonFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingDragonFan)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-they-killed-jesus-no-shit-dumfuck/360422/7 "2006-06-12T16:43:59Z")
> [@Uncommon Sense](#): > > Maybe they’ll get satin sheets in the county jail? > > I wonder what satan sheets would feel like. Old and Scratchy, obviously. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-they-killed-jesus-no-shit-dumfuck/360422/8 "2006-06-12T17:01:20Z")
Now that’s an Odd level of Hell: Prison Nights in White Satin… (never reaching the end?) ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-they-killed-jesus-no-shit-dumfuck/360422/9 "2006-06-12T17:29:04Z")
All hail the Dark Lord 100 Thread Count Cotton!! ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-they-killed-jesus-no-shit-dumfuck/360422/10 "2006-06-12T21:18:04Z")
> [@Count Blucher](#): > > Now that’s an Odd level of Hell: Prison Nights in White Satin… (never reaching the end?) Well, that’s the Christian hell. The muslin hell is a bit rougher. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-they-killed-jesus-no-shit-dumfuck/360422/11 "2006-06-12T21:27:39Z")
> [@11811](#): > > Well, that’s the Christian hell. The muslin hell is a bit rougher. 😃 :applauds: Wonder if their heaven has blankets with 72-count virgin wool. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-they-killed-jesus-no-shit-dumfuck/360422/12 "2006-06-13T05:23:21Z")
> [@FlyingDragonFan](#): > > Old and Scratchy, obviously. [Ed McMahon] “Hey-oh!” [/E McM] ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-they-killed-jesus-no-shit-dumfuck/360422/13 "2006-06-13T11:12:29Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > …Then break their index fingers… Naah - amputate their opposable thumbs; they don’t deserve to own them. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-they-killed-jesus-no-shit-dumfuck/360422/14 "2006-06-13T13:00:04Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Naah - amputate their opposable thumbs; they don’t deserve to own them. If they weren’t already dickless, I’d suggest a penectomy or three. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-they-killed-jesus-no-shit-dumfuck/360422/15 "2006-06-13T13:59:00Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Naah - amputate their opposable thumbs; they don’t deserve to own them. The last time I suggested that penalty for taggers and vandals I got a world of flak from some here, accusing me of all sorts of base motivations. So I modified my sentiments a bit this time. But down deep I agree with you. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-they-killed-jesus-no-shit-dumfuck/360422/16 "2006-06-13T14:56:10Z")
Further Events [http://www.todaystmj4.com/\_content/news/topstories/story\_3019.asp](http://www.todaystmj4.com/_content/news/topstories/story_3019.asp) > **[2 cousins charged in Holy Hill desecration](https://www.gmtoday.com/business/2-cousins-charged-in-holy-hill-desecration/article_783d765b-1bfb-5cc5-b947-597548f45642.html)** > > 2 cousins charged in Holy Hill desecration > [@](#): > > Tyler Groth said he did not have any remorse and that he did it because it was fun and he wanted something to do, and he did not think it was a big deal, the complaint says. > **[Dolan's bottom line: Good wins out](https://www.gmtoday.com/business/dolans-bottom-line-good-wins-out/article_2e2bfd32-38cc-55a1-99b2-d147809f9693.html)** > > Dolan's bottom line: Good wins out This last link tells the story of a good community. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-they-killed-jesus-no-shit-dumfuck/360422/17 "2006-06-13T15:14:52Z")
What a bright and shining future these two lads have. The best punishment would be for them to meet a bunch of similar punks right after purchasing their very first car. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-they-killed-jesus-no-shit-dumfuck/360422/18 "2006-06-13T15:15:05Z")
“No remorse?” OK, no more thumbs. These scumbags need to be removed from the gene pool, before they breed. Where’s a WeedWhacker? ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2006, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-they-killed-jesus-no-shit-dumfuck/360422/19 "2006-06-13T15:38:53Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > What a bright and shining future these two lads have. The best punishment would be for them to meet a bunch of similar punks right after purchasing their very first car. _That_ would be lovely. ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2006, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-they-killed-jesus-no-shit-dumfuck/360422/20 "2006-06-14T12:54:31Z")
> [@Plynck](#): > > ::…must not tempt Gaudere by going for the cheap laugh…:: > > I believe that you are correct. > > I suspect that their poor spelling is to blame for this tragic mistake: They thought they were Santa’s little helpers… Funny as hell! OMG _spelling_! Thank you for this wonderful post. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-glad-they-killed-jesus-no-shit-dumfuck/360422.md?page=2)