# I'm going back to lurking & posting only in Cafe Society **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 20, 2005, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110 "2005-06-20T20:21:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/1 "2005-06-20T20:21:17Z")
I don’t know, people may care or not care. Most likely not, I don’t flatter myself. But with 5,000+ posts I feel odd just quitting cold-turkey. I’ve got a few reasons. If it’s not for the recent Pit thread about not even wanting one joke in GQ (or was it GD), ever, then maybe it’s because of the Pit thread that caused the initiation thread to shut down for no other reason than someone was annoyed by it. Or how about the banning on flirting…yeah, the flirting was over-the-top. Yeah, we all agreed to limit it to MPSIMS, which is more than fair. So how come we still got yelled at for it? Someone even told me I needed to be “punished” for it…hah. \*\*Or maybe it’s because of people’s hair-trigger reactions to even mild comments. \*\* People seem so much more snarky these days. I won’t link to any posts, I don’t feel like calling people on to the spot, but you know who you are. I’m not the only one who’s commented on it, so I know I’m not imagining it. Maybe it’s the extreme nit-picking. This used to be a more enjoyable, mild place. I try to be nice to everyone…sure there’s been times when even I lost my temper but I think I try to apologize to anyone with whom I did so unwarranted. That people are jumping down \*my \* throat surprises me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not totally naive, I know some people will probably cheer when they hear I’m not posting anymore. Cafe Society still seems to have the contingent of fun-loving Dopers, so I’ll be staying there mostly. So I guess this is a pitting of all you humourless bastards on the Dope that like to ruin other people’s fun, too. I won’t swear just because this is the Pit. I feel like this needs to be said, so you can take it how you like…and the mods can move it if they like. I won’t be posting further in this thread, either, but I’ll read it. Bye! ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/2 "2005-06-20T20:27:53Z")
Don’t really care: check. Mention of post count: check. People are mean: check. People are meaner than they were: check. It’s other people, not me: check. Not going to respond to the thread: check. Big ol’ cross: check. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/3 "2005-06-20T20:30:17Z")
It’s sometimes good to take a break, just to get a change of pace. Hope you find enjoyment in whichever forum you pop into. And maybe, try to remember that there are some _very_ good discussions that go on in the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/4 "2005-06-20T20:31:13Z")
Why you felt the need to announce your departure is beyond me. It smacks of “attention whorishness”. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/5 "2005-06-20T20:35:25Z")
So, you’re not even really leaving, yet you start a buh-bye thread and in the Pit, no less. ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/6 "2005-06-20T20:42:20Z")
You are leaving the pit? Would anyone have even noticed had you not brought it up? ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/7 "2005-06-20T20:42:46Z")
I maybe one of those responsible for increased nit-picking. Personally, thought, I just get so angry at some people, for using insane arguments. I took much the same route you have, **Anaamika**. But I still read the other forums, and see the same arguments I was going to make, being made, for the most part, and I enjoy it. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/8 "2005-06-20T20:44:52Z")
Call me crazy, but I think this whole thread kinda proves the OP’s point in starting it. Sounds to me like she is expressing her dismay and frustration over recent change in tone on the bb. Dunno as to the legitimacy of the claim, since I haven’t been here that long. But I support her “right” to make it. Jeesh. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/9 "2005-06-20T20:58:12Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > Call me crazy, but I think this whole thread kinda proves the OP’s point in starting it. Okay, you’re crazy. But I think you’re right. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/10 "2005-06-20T20:58:42Z")
Hey, **Anaamika** maybe a break wouldn’t be a bad thing. But come back and play later. I’d like to remind you of [something I said](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6233531&postcount=96) in another thread where we exchanged punches. > [@Bubbadog](#): > > **Its the pit and my opinion is that we get to scream at each other and then play nice the next time. Kinda like politicians only human.** ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/11 "2005-06-20T20:59:12Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > Call me crazy, but I think this whole thread kinda proves the OP’s point in starting it… Well, sort of. In the same way that the inevitable result of running through a really rough neighborhood on roofies, naked and with a $1000 bill taped to your ass proves that people are inherently mean ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/12 "2005-06-20T20:59:29Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > Dunno as to the legitimacy of the claim, since I haven’t been here that long. Why do you keep saying that - you’ve been here for 3 years?!?! (At least I’m pretty sure it was you saying that in someother thread, somewhere.) ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/13 "2005-06-20T21:00:41Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > Call me crazy, but I think this whole thread kinda proves the OP’s point in starting it. > > Sounds to me like she is expressing her dismay and frustration over recent change in tone on the bb. Dunno as to the legitimacy of the claim, since I haven’t been here that long. But I support her “right” to make it. > > Jeesh. cripes. can some one express their opinion? sure. can some one express their opinion and require that no one disagree w/them or make fun of them even if they’re being immature? nope. **andros** nailed it in one. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/14 "2005-06-20T21:01:30Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > But I support her “right” to make it. She has a right to make it, we have a right to criticize it. Personally, I can’t stand these kinds of egocentric, whiny OPs. **Anaamika** wrote a pointless, annoying OP and she’s being called on it. I hardly think that this thread “proves [her] point” – if, indeed, she has one. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/15 "2005-06-20T21:08:28Z")
Why on Earth would you think anyone gives a fuck? Haj ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/16 "2005-06-20T21:09:20Z")
Standard responses to this type of OP: Check. The place isn’t the same. And it doesn’t matter if you think the OP is an attention whore or not. We each voice our concerns in different ways. But it _is_ less fun. I think it started going downhill when it went to subscription. There was a thread the other day about where all the loonies went - well they vanished with subscription and there was a comment from a mod or admin (dex?), that without subscription, there wouldn’t be any boards. Well - if the Reader is such a lame ass business, I can’t Imagine how Cecil can make a living out of this (the syndication, possibly). It’s been a long time since I had the Reader in my hand, but the last time (back in '93) it seemed to rely heavily on classifieds to make a profit. Local entertainment (Theatres, restaurants ASF) who don’t want to waste money advertising on a website like the Dope. The pathethic efforts at selling banner ads for the frontpage and the whiney tone in which the website tries to attract advertisers - it only adds up to a company who really doesn’t have a clue about what this is all about - i.e. neither the Dope nor, and more importantly, the Web. vBulletin costs a whoppin $160 and can be run on any webserver that has mySQL and PHP. I can’tpoint to a post, but have a vague memory about number of simultaneous users, at the all time high, being a couple of hundred. I could run that server on my old computer and my DSL line here with less trouble than the Reader is having (since I’m on a static IP number). More importantly - as we started paying, somehow, we’re supposed to behave better. Are we, the posters, here to pay for the playhouse or are we costumers? Why do every Tom, Dick and Admin who quit get the designation SDSAB? I don’t care about titles, be it charter member, member or membrane. What I do care about is that we’re supposed to pay and shut up. The debacle about TubaDiva (which I still think was handled very poorly and which I think Ed should’ve come clean with right from the start) and the tightening and re-interpretation of forum rules have made this a duller place. The Pit used to have very inspired writing, GD used to be scary but worthwhile reading. I couldn’t open a forum without rightclicking four or five threads, to open them in new windows (because the board was soooo slow and to click and then go back took forever). Now, there are days when nothing seem apatizing. Anaamika is right. The only forum where there seems to be any fun\*, debating and disagreeing without infernal nitpicking and without the ever increasing din about Liberals and Conservatives, and where people actually try to help each other, without being condescending, is CS. I bet the renewal rate wasn’t very good, and even if some people will leave in a huffy about mods are policies in the year to come, I bet by next spring, renewals will be painfully low - mostly because this place is growing stale. And paid subscription sealed the fate. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/17 "2005-06-20T21:15:14Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > Why on Earth would you think anyone gives a fuck? Because there are some of us who post in other fora who might expect a response to something who might get puzzled as the day goes by due to her not having responded. That’s why some of us give a fuck. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/18 "2005-06-20T21:24:16Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > Why on Earth would you think anyone gives a fuck? Huh. As it turns out, I do give a fuck. Your post reminds me of the old saying. Don’t assume anything… Only, the spelling of assume would have to be changed to y-o-u-a-r-e-a-n-a-s-s-h-o-l-e for the punchline to really work in your case. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/19 "2005-06-20T21:39:30Z")
People have always been snarky in the Pit, “initiation” threads and flirt threads have always been frowned upon, and people have always bitched about people putting joke answers in GD and GQ. So, I don’t really see that anything has changed in that regard. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/20 "2005-06-20T21:49:49Z")
> [@The Gaspode](#): > > Standard responses to this type of OP: Check. Yes, dear. That was kinda the point in my case. > [@](#): > > Well - if the Reader is such a lame ass business, I can’t Imagine how Cecil can make a living out of this (the syndication, possibly). > [@](#): > > It’s been a long time since I had the Reader in my hand, but the last time (back in '93) it seemed to rely heavily on classifieds to make a profit. Yes, that’s what independent papers do. > [@](#): > > Local entertainment (Theatres, restaurants ASF) who don’t want to waste money advertising on a website like the Dope. Well, of course not. This is the 'net, not Shy. > [@](#): > > The pathethic efforts at selling banner ads for the frontpage and the whiney tone in which the website tries to attract advertisers - it only adds up to a company who really doesn’t have a clue about what this is all about - i.e. neither the Dope nor, and more importantly, the Web. What a steamy load. > [@](#): > > vBulletin costs a whoppin $160 and can be run on any webserver that has mySQL and PHP. I can’tpoint to a post, but have a vague memory about number of simultaneous users, at the all time high, being a couple of hundred. I could run that server on my old computer and my DSL line here with less trouble than the Reader is having (since I’m on a static IP number). Horseshit. > [@](#): > > More importantly - as we started paying, somehow, we’re supposed to behave better. I haven’t noticed that, but then I’ve not made a habit of being a dick. I behave as I always have. Perhaps you’ve been required to rein yourself in, I wouldn’t know. > [@](#): > > Are we, the posters, here to pay for the playhouse or are we costumers? I’m an aspiring costumer, if that helps any. > [@](#): > > Why do every Tom, Dick and Admin who quit get the designation SDSAB? I don’t care about titles, be it charter member, member or membrane. Bullshit. Obviouosly you care or you’d not have brought it up. And they’re SBSAB because they contruibte to the columns. Duhhr. > [@](#): > > What I do care about is that we’re supposed to pay and shut up. Again, I ain’t seeing it. No one’s telling you to shut up, are they? > [@](#): > > The debacle about TubaDiva (which I still think was handled very poorly and which I think Ed should’ve come clean with right from the start) and the tightening and re-interpretation of forum rules have made this a duller place. Not sure, but I think I agree with this. > [@](#): > > The Pit used to have very inspired writing, GD used to be scary but worthwhile reading. I couldn’t open a forum without rightclicking four or five threads, to open them in new windows (because the board was soooo slow and to click and then go back took forever). Now, there are days when nothing seem apatizing. Again, I agree . . . but in my case it’s partially board evolution and mostly me. I’ve seen so many of the threads in GD before. Eh. I ain’t gonna say you don’t have a point. Just . . . damn, dude. That was a lame rant. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110.md?page=2)