# I'm going back to lurking & posting only in Cafe Society **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 20, 2005, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110 "2005-06-20T20:21:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/21 "2005-06-20T21:50:31Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Because there are some of us who post in other fora who might expect a response to something who might get puzzled as the day goes by due to her not having responded. So why couldn’t she have been graceful, and simply continued to respond in threads that she was already participating in until she was “phased out” of the forums she’s not interested in anymore? The “I’m taking my toys and leaving” crap is what some – dare I say most? – of us don’t give a fuck about. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/22 "2005-06-20T21:59:04Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > I maybe one of those responsible for increased nit-picking. Personally, thought, I just get so angry at some people, for using insane arguments. I took much the same route you have, **Anaamika**. But I still read the other forums, and see the same arguments I was going to make, being made, for the most part, and I enjoy it. From what I’ve seen, you get angry at people who use arguments that disagree with your point of view. I think this is what the OP is talking about. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/23 "2005-06-20T21:59:05Z")
Gee, if only she’d chosen a descriptive thread title. My sympathies to all those afflicted with the compulsion to open threads they don’t give a fuck about, read threads they don’t give a fuck about, reply to threads they don’t give a fuck about and keep returning to assert their stance of not giving a fuck. Must suck to be you. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/24 "2005-06-20T22:00:09Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Maybe it’s the extreme nit-picking. I’ve always thought it “excessive” rather than “extreme”. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/25 "2005-06-20T22:03:40Z")
> [@Queen Tonya](#): > > Gee, if only she’d chosen a descriptive thread title. > > My sympathies to all those afflicted with the compulsion to open threads they don’t give a fuck about, read threads they don’t give a fuck about, reply to threads they don’t give a fuck about and keep returning to assert their stance of not giving a fuck. Must suck to be you. You misunderstand. I\*\* don’t \*\*care that some one wants to take their bat and ball and go away. I **do** care that they bother to announce it. and I think the proper response to that (in order to hopefully discourage others from posting similar lame ass threads) is to poke fun. :: _pole pole_:: See? ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/26 "2005-06-20T22:05:18Z")
> [@wring](#): > > Y > :: _poke poke_:: > > See? sigh. go ahead pole fun. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/27 "2005-06-20T22:06:01Z")
I don’t know personally, but I’ll take you at your word that having two poles instead of one leads to all sorts of fun poking! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/28 "2005-06-20T22:07:21Z")
> [@John Mace](#): > > From what I’ve seen, you get angry at people who use arguments that disagree with your point of view. I think this is what the OP is talking about. ::Shrug:: Same diff. But really, the vast majority of ideas I disagree with appear to be merely based on the fact that people want to believe, not that they are right, or provable. I get annoyed when I see someone using rustication for one of their non-provable beliefs in one thread, gets defeated, then go to another thread and uses the same argument in another thread. Still, that leads to too much arguing, and too little productive discussion, so I turned it down a notch over the last few weeks. **Queen Tonya** : Good point! ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/29 "2005-06-20T22:15:36Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > Why on Earth would you think anyone gives a fuck? I give a fuck. Definitely not to YOU, though. You’re icky. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/30 "2005-06-20T22:19:28Z")
Eh, I suppose that some time back I decided to do pretty much what **Aanamika** has announced here (withdraw to the fluffier forums), but I didn’t see much point in making a public statement about it. After all, there ARE some fairly humorless bastards here, and announcing that I was annoyed by them would be like tossing fresh meat to bears. Regardless, I think that when one starts becoming personally offended by the behavior of a bunch of anonymous, ill-disciplined strangers on a message board somewhere, it is indeed time to take a break and investigate real life. Also, there you can at least smack 'em if they piss you off. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/31 "2005-06-20T22:21:26Z")
I am not going to post in this thread. I might post in some other fun ones, though. It didn’t use to be this way. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/32 "2005-06-20T22:28:19Z")
I never spend much time in GD. But then, I only ever search the board for ‘new posts’, and there’s a self-filtering aspect of the titles of threads which will be idiotic posturing etc. I don’t deliberatly concentrate or avoid particular forums, but end up in GQ, MPSIMS and the Pit most of the time. **Anaamika** , it’s hard to say ‘it’s just the internet’, when I’m saying it, errr, over the internet. I agree that there’s too much nitpicking - and of the type where they’re deliberately examining the question to avoid answering it. Quite simply, I get better debates in my local pub than here - when the board achieves pub-debate status, count me in 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/33 "2005-06-20T22:33:22Z")
I have to say, I really hate the flirt/iniation threads. However, these threads do serve one very valuable service: they give ulcers to the contingent of humorless fucks who absolutely cannot stand the idea that there are people somewhere in the world doing something for fun that they do not personally enjoy. I don’t like flirt threads, so I don’t read flirt threads. **Anaamika** likes them, so she reads and participates. She paid as much money to post here as I did, I don’t see why my likes and dislikes should dictate how or what or where she posts. Apparently, I represent a minority on these boards in that I don’t actually have to read threads on topics I don’t like. I generally don’t like, “The boards have changed, you’re all mean now!” threads, either, but in this case, the OP has a point. All y’all who bitch about flirt threads and other MPSIMS fluff need to shut the fuck up. Also, the idea of **scott\_plaid** being angry at other people for making inane comments made me chuckle. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/34 "2005-06-20T22:41:51Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I have to say, I really hate the flirt/iniation threads. (snip). I don’t like flirt threads, so I don’t read flirt threads. **Anaamika** likes them, so she reads and participates. She paid as much money to post here as I did, I don’t see why my likes and dislikes should dictate how or what or where she posts. well, I don’t like the flirt threads, initiation threads either. and I don’t read them. at all. It is rather annoying when flirty crap enter into other threads, but I can skip over an annoying post every now and then. I don’t recall the poster from the OP much at all, to be honest. however, these melodramatic “I’m leaving 'cause ya’ll are meanies” threads annoy me on a different level. Sure, I could skip them as well as the flirt threads (although frankly, since I almost never even scan MPSIMS, it’s not likely that I find them). If ya don’t like it, leave. simple, eh? Don’t want folks to be mean to you ? don’t fucking post a “I’m leaving 'cause ya’ll are too mean” thread in the Pit. IT’s the stupidity of the self fufilling prophecy that gets me to answer. IT’s like back in college when we shared a kitchenette. Suddenly there were signs all over the place “please don’t steal the oven knobs”. Sure enough, a few days later, they started disappearing. ---
**Author:** ![Absolute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Absolute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Absolute)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/35 "2005-06-20T22:47:33Z")
As a somewhat disinterested observer, I agree that the board is going downhill. The quality of both the questions and answers in GQ has markedly declined since the beginning of the subscription era, and the discussions in the rest of the forums always seem to be hijacked with a personally or politically-motivated attack on one of the participants. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/36 "2005-06-20T22:49:11Z")
I just want to say that dopers did not shut down the latest twenty page initiation/idiocy thread. It was a Mod that did it. You can’t blame the people that participated in the Pit thread complaining about it. So drop that whole idea. If there’s one thing I’ve found on this board it is that you rarely get the response you expect from your posts. So if you’re always expecting sunshine and flowers you will continue to be disappointed. But you’ve been around long enough to know better, so I don’t think that’s it. I’m just curious as to why all of the sudden you got such thin skin. Maybe after lurking a while you’ll feel like participating more. ---
**Author:** ![EllisDee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellisdee/32/4531_2.png) [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/37 "2005-06-20T22:58:06Z")
The OP should be enshrined in the Attention Whore Hall Of Fame. On the plus side, it’s an actual new thread in the Pit. Not too many of those anymore. When was the last time we had 30 threads on the front page, much less the cutoff limit of 50? (Just checked…including the last one that’s locked, we have 34 non-stickies on the front page. Woohoo! The joint is _hopping_.) ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/38 "2005-06-20T23:09:32Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > People seem so much more snarky these days. Hanh? [goggles silently] > [@Anaamika](#): > > This used to be a more enjoyable, mild place. Hanh? [goggles silently, even more] This has always been, hands-down, the **snarkiest** place on the Web. Perhaps you have been posting in some alternate Dope universe? ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/39 "2005-06-20T23:16:46Z")
For chrissakes. If you can’t mock, poke fun at, and generally rip to shreds some idiot starting an “I’m leaving” thread, who CAN you? That’s the only change I’ve seen in the Pit really, folks - now people will come in to DEFEND people for this ridiculous, narcissistic, attention-whoring, borderline martyrdom. Every time a fluffy MPSIMS/CS person leaves the Pit, a gargoyle gets its wings. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2005, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110/40 "2005-06-20T23:20:25Z")
Well, I’m going to continue to post almost exclusively in GD and in the Pit. Just so you know. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-back-to-lurking-posting-only-in-cafe-society/309110.md?page=3)