# I'm going to blow up the Moon. What are you doing this summer? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 23, 2006, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939 "2006-05-23T19:02:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/41 "2006-05-24T00:10:10Z")
> [@Airman Doors](#): > > The same thing I do every summer… try to take over the world. But how are you going to get the chimpanzee to wear the red tights? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/42 "2006-05-24T00:16:30Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > I think we are going to Disney World again. Since they eliminated the 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea ride, Disneyworld is dead to me. On a positive note, several of my fellow Etheric Scientists were able to obtain the mini Nautilus (Nautili? Nautiles?) used in the ride and modify them into fine, steam-powered, machines capable of descent to the bottom of the Mariannas trench, or of sailing the tides of the Luminiferous Ether in space. Currently, some are docked at Victoria Station. This masterpiece of art and engineering is currently in orbit around the moon. While most of my colleagues characterize the lunar natives as ‘embodiments of the uncertainty principle’ or ‘inhabitants of a seperate vibrational plane, and ruled by chaos’, I admit that these beings appear to be the fairies of legend. The moon is thus defended by some of the greatest Scientists alive, but also by fairies. **Regallag The Axe** You won’t have a problem with fairies. But, I remind you that the Mad Monk is not dead. While his motives are unfathom defend Russia from any attempt to destroy or conquer it. He is aided in this by the Baba Yaga, the great crone of Russian folklore. She is the boogeyman that lives in closets, and under beds. You will neither destroy nor conquer Russia while the Baba Yaga lives. The last individual to wound her was Anung Un Rama. Even he was unable to do more than just hurt her. I say, conquer Germany. The native supernatural forces may decide that it is too long since a king wearing battle-dented armor and dripping with blood ruled the land, and fight under your banner. Then again, Germany is known for producing brilliant Scientists. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/43 "2006-05-24T00:19:29Z")
> [@Marlitharn](#): > > But how are you going to get the chimpanzee to wear the red tights? Ok, if you don’t even know that, then it’s not the kind of thing to try. Pssssttt!! Tequila and backrubs involving Condoleeza Rice… ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/44 "2006-05-24T00:24:48Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > Ok, if you don’t even know that, then it’s not the kind of thing to try. > Pssssttt!! Tequila and backrubs involving Condoleeza Rice… You know, I think you just helped me solve my dilemma of what to do with the mutant chimp after I get it out of the White House. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/45 "2006-05-24T01:02:40Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Since they eliminated the 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea ride, Disneyworld is dead to me. Wife and kids want to go. Heck with Eisner out it isn’t even run by Evil anymore. > [@DocCathode](#): > > On a positive note, several of my fellow Etheric Scientists were able to obtain the mini Nautilus (Nautili? Nautiles?) used in the ride and modify them into fine, steam-powered, machines capable of descent to the bottom of the Mariannas trench, …snip… I assume foronly 20 minutes? Jim ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/46 "2006-05-24T02:23:01Z")
> [@Marlitharn](#): > > But how are you going to get the chimpanzee to wear the red tights? Huh. Who’da thought. You were thinking exactly what I was thinking. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/47 "2006-05-24T03:07:05Z")
I have plans that are, while less ambitious than Winston’s, still likely to make for an interesting summer. I plan to use some very quiet high explosives and advanced digitally controlled laser cutting tools to transform [Stone Mountain](http://www.soulofamerica.com/images/photosga/atlanta2/Stone_Mountain_Park.jpg) into an explicit image of a man and woman making love (oh, just look it up on Google with Safe Search turned off) overnight. Should give all the commuters quite an eyeful, because this mountain can be seen for MILES and from several interstate highways. It’s solid granite and HUGE. Covering it up or altering it should prove quite a time-consuming problem. Also, I’m thinking of teaching myself to use some video editing software. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/48 "2006-05-24T03:23:26Z")
> [@slortar](#): > > Oh, I was planning on the 19th, sometime after Mythbusters. Problem is, I’m having some people over that weekend (friend’s fourth marriage, yadda yadda yadda) and I really need the balcony for the seating that day so I’m going to have to move the 'laser somewhere else. Maybe throw a tarp over it so the neighbor’s cat doesn’t have kittens in it again. I might do it the next day, but I dunno. Sunday’s are sandwich days, you know. The 19th, eh? That might be a little …difficult. I have to deal with propping up the wingnut underground, er, I mean, ‘encouraging democratic discourse’, and then I’ve a meeting with the Ecotopian Ambadssador–what do you mean, Ecotopia isn’t a country? It is now, ever since our acts of economic sabotage against the Bilderbergers and the U-- :: checks date :: Oh. Sorry. Ignore that last. Heh. Heh. :: ahem :: Where were we? Oh yes. The 19th is awkward. Well, how about the following weekend? Make sure you get the kittens out of the laser cannon and I think we could have a mutually-satisfying conference. BTW, does your place have a direct line-of-sight to Shanghai? No reason, no reason. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/49 "2006-05-24T03:41:06Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > I’m thinking of visiting Montreal,… Let us know first, mon beau. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/50 "2006-05-24T03:48:37Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Let us know first, mon beau. _Certainement_. Probably August, after the revolution, er, I mean, after the deadlines at work. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/51 "2006-05-24T04:04:05Z")
> [@Jurph](#): > > And on a totally unrelated note, this summer I’m working for the Missile Defense Agency as a rocket scientist for hire, teaching our government to shoot down unwanted ballistic missiles. What? Who the hell doesn’t want a ballistic missile? If you’ve got so many laying around that you’re firing them off just for target practice, give me a couple. I’ll lure the groundhog that’s living under my mother’s garden shed into one of them, then give that sucker a ride he’ll never forget. As for the OP: hell, yeah, go ahead and blow up the moon. Then we’ll have a nice couple of rings around the planet, and Earth’ll look as cool as Saturn does. Maybe even cooler. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/52 "2006-05-24T04:25:53Z")
Might get a Dopefest up and running, but other than that? Work. See movies, have dinners with, chill with friends. More work. Write fiction, learn Hindi and Cantonese, walk the dog, visit Presqu’Ile. Did I mention work? ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/53 "2006-05-24T04:49:14Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > I say, conquer Germany. The native supernatural forces may decide that it is too long since a king wearing battle-dented armor and dripping with blood ruled the land, and fight under your banner. You know that doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. > [@DocCathode](#): > > Then again, Germany is known for producing brilliant Scientists. Well, I \*am \*building a Gauss canon. That could be a good thing. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/54 "2006-05-24T05:08:02Z")
Winston, that is a terrible idea. I just know what is going to happen is that your missile will set off an explosion of the garbage dump hidden there, knock the moon out of orbit, and you know what happens [then](http://www.space1999.net/) It is seven years late, but anyhow… And I just got an urgent message from the werewolves union. My advice to you is to stock up on silver bullets. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/55 "2006-05-24T05:20:06Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > What? Who the hell doesn’t want a ballistic missile? If you’ve got so many laying around that you’re firing them off just for target practice, give me a couple. I’ll lure the groundhog that’s living under my mother’s garden shed into one of them, then give that sucker a ride he’ll never forget. I was up in Sutton last weekend attending a test firing of the Purvis Potato Cannon. And man, can that thing hurl spud! Ballistic missiles are only a logical next step. > [@El\_Kabong](#): > > As for the OP: hell, yeah, go ahead and blow up the moon. Then we’ll have a nice couple of rings around the planet, and Earth’ll look as cool as Saturn does. Maybe even cooler. Will the rings be at right angles? 'Cause that’d be way cool. Especially if you have to mount little nanotechnological rocket motors on the ring fragments to keep them in their unnatural courses. > [@Kythereia](#): > > Might get a Dopefest up and running, but other than that? Work. See movies, have dinners with, chill with friends. More work. Write fiction, learn Hindi and Cantonese, walk the dog, visit Presqu’Ile. Did I mention work? Do you have to keep impressing me like that? Any more, and I’m going to have to invent a youthening ray. Not for you. For me. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/56 "2006-05-24T05:43:38Z")
If you plan to blow up the moon, maybe you should hook up with these guys : [The Citizen’s Alliance to Blow Up the Moon](http://nwmail.washtenaw.cc.mi.us/~bwells/gdt200/cabum1.html) > [@](#): > > We are a group of citizens from all walks of life who share a common realization and thus a common goal: the Moon is our enemy and must be destroyed. We are dedicated to the pursuit of this goal via lobbying efforts, education of the public, and independent scientific endeavors. > > We were founded in 1839 by an unemployed Rumanian werewolf hunter; today we have over two dozen members in five continents. Our numbers are growing yearly as people hear our message and understand the pressing need to destroy the moon. Now _I_, on the other hand, have _vision_ and _ambition_. _I’m_ going to blow up _Earth_; it’s bigger, closer for convienience, and has lots of irritating people on it. I’ve been studying [this](http://qntm.org/destroy) website for ideas. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Wiseguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mr.Wiseguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Wiseguy)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/57 "2006-05-24T09:22:20Z")
I’ve got no huge plans for the summer…do any of you super-villian types need a good henchman? I take orders well, and will stall the hero with my kung-fu as you make good your escape. All I ask in return is dibs on Alaska. Give me a shot, you won’t be disappointed. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/58 "2006-05-24T09:45:43Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > Go fishing, have some barbeques, and then thwart your attempt to blow up the moon by sneaking into your yard, and reprogramming your guidance system to aim the rocket directly at Keanu Reeves’ house. Yup, going to be a boring summer. Please make sure he won’t be there on June 11th, ok? You have my permission to blow up the house, but only the house. I’m going to spend the summer counting the hours until this contract is over. I have the stupid notion that “having a job” should include “living better than if you were unemployed”, but I’ve done unemployment and frankly, right now I’m giving dumping the contract some serious thought. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/59 "2006-05-24T11:32:01Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > I’m gonna read, get in some time on my bike, go swimming at the local pool [say HI to the locals,](http://spider-bob.com/teams/dc/images/ForeverPeople02.jpg) whatever. J’Accuse! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/60 "2006-05-24T12:22:08Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > J’Accuse! “J’Accuse”? “J’Accuse” of precisely _what_, pray tell? :dubious: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939.md?page=4)