# I'm going to blow up the Moon. What are you doing this summer? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 23, 2006, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939 "2006-05-23T19:02:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/101 "2006-05-26T02:40:52Z")
I was planning to rape, loot, & pillage my way across the BeNeLux area around July or August, with some time off to visit the London Dopers – I owe them a few rounds of good British ale. The thing is, though, that I’ve never been keen on the raping part. So I’ll stick with what I know well, looting & pillaging. I wasn’t aware of the natural animosity between laser-equipped dolphins and sharks WFLBs. Thanks for the heads-up; I’ll take this into account when I draw up the plans for my next pirate ship. Which, once I get DSL, may be mid to late August. ---
**Author:** ![Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silence_of_the_clams)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/102 "2006-05-26T12:11:43Z")
What exit: for yor demolitions needs I would recomend the twin trinitroglycerinated sea turtles. StGermaine: I think I must ask my assistant, Otto about that. Otto! Come here! (sounds of shuffling) Do you know anything about kids stuff lasers? Yoo vaaant ze lazerzhow? Ja? I have heeere ze schpezialised jedi master diver zeaslugz. Zey vill perform lazer duelling in zlow motion. Achtually, zhat is in slow motion to uz becauze zhey do not move any quicker yoo zee, ja? What? Not any quicker? But what about our ambush assault seaslugs with lasers? They are supposed to outrun a swordfish if needed? Yez, but zey are inoculated whiz ze superfast slime formula, remeber? Ze slime glandz of theze seaslugz are in overdrive, like zoooom, ja? Hm, could the jedi master sealsugs also be upgraded? You know, to get the lasershow going a bit faster? What?! Yooo want ze world overrun by jedi master diver zeaslugz? When first zhey are activated zhey do not schtop, zhat is why we keep zem in slow motion. If we evver let zem looose we would all surely die! Well, okey, thanks Otto. We can only offer the jedi master sealsugs in slow motion, StGermaine, but hey, they’ll give you hours of slimy lasershowy fun! Kotick ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/103 "2006-05-26T13:25:18Z")
Kotick: are you really a white seal? ---
**Author:** ![THespos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@THespos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/THespos)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/104 "2006-05-26T13:26:39Z")
I used the ray yesterday. [See?](http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/Music/05/26/music.roth.reut/index.html) Who did we decide was next? Rush? Guns? Pink Floyd? I’m thinking about getting Sting next so he gets back together with the Police, but the sheer size of his ego would necessitate upgrading the cooling system. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/105 "2006-05-26T14:05:11Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Kotick: are you really a white seal? No. **Kotick** only _claims to be_ a seal. He does this just for the Halibut, as the Fisherman said to the Priest. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/106 "2006-05-26T14:35:22Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > No. **Kotick** only _claims to be_ a seal. > > He does this just for the Halibut, as the Fisherman said to the Priest. You mean he was baiting us? And I took it hook, line and sinker? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silence_of_the_clams)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/107 "2006-05-26T14:55:05Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Kotick: are you really a white seal? A pair of bright big eyes look at you. For some reason you realise that the size of the eyes compared to the size of the face equal a ratio which to you seems perfect. So perfect it is cute. This cuteness is so mesmerising that you find yourself transfixed in time and space, and you let yourself hypnotisingly float away. Suddenly you wake up and find yourself on a beach. You try to move but you feel like you are glued to the ground. You see two animals shuffle towards you, but you can not remember what they are called. All you can think of is somekind of marine mammal. Did vee really haff to bring him here? Yes, he was onto us. He asked the wrong questions. They must not find out about our plans. Luckily our cute appearance is effective enought to hypnotise them and bring them here when they see through our disguises. Lets see if the foggetaboutit-serum is working. One of the animals is coming over to you and looking you in the eyes. All you can think about is how cute these eyes look like. You smile and feel happy. Hm, almost there. We should be able to get him thorugh the sea cows tunnel in just a minute. Get the transport ready on the other side. You keep smiling at the animals and see that in the night sky the northern lights are waving to you. Dreamily you see the northern lights reach for you and you fell like being pulled towards them. You wake up again reading this post. You have no memory of any white marine mammals or ever asking questions about any such things. Happily you continue enjoying the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/108 "2006-05-26T15:10:09Z")
**Kotick** : You mean you are not part of the Selkie Resistance Movement? ---
**Author:** ![Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silence_of_the_clams)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/109 "2006-05-26T15:24:41Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > **Kotick** : You mean you are not part of the Selkie Resistance Movement? A pair of bright big eyes look at you. For some reason you realise that the size of the eyes compared to the size of the face equal a ratio which to you seems perfect. So perfect it is cute. This cuteness is so mesmerising that you find yourself transfixed in time and space, and you let yourself hypnotisingly float away. Suddenly you wake up and find yourself on a beach. You try to move but you feel like you are glued to the ground. You see two animals shuffle towards you, but you can not remember what they are called. All you can think of is somekind of marine mammal. Anozer one? Thiz iz turning into a veeery bizi day. Yes, I think we have to move our plans forward. You hear orders are being barked along the beach. Massive sounds of hundreds of somethings shuffling in line past you. The sound of lightsaber suddenly appears. No! Bad Otto, it would take forever to unleash the jedi master sealsugs on him. Prepare them for StGermaine instead. You keep smiling at the jedi master sealsugs duelling in front of you. The flash of lightsabers sparkling in slow motion as the sealsugs whirl around is mesmerising and you feel yourself lulling into sleep. You wake up again reading this post. You have no memory of any white marine mammals or ever asking questions about any such things, or any marine mammal resistance movement. Happily you continue enjoying the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/110 "2006-05-26T15:42:22Z")
Anyone ever get that annoying feeling you forgot something important? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Clam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/111 "2006-05-26T16:58:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Anyone ever get that annoying feeling you forgot something important? Nah, but I do have an overpowering urge to go club me some seals. Little baby ones. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/112 "2006-05-26T17:08:11Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > :dubious: Now just a doggone minute. Are you just going to blow it up or are you planning to clean up your mess afterward? You’ll probably just end up making a bunch of little moons that won’t even be interesting and keep falling out of the sky. > And what about the earthquakes? Who’s going to clean up after those? > I can guess, you probably just assumed your Mom would do it, right? Doesn’t she have enough to do? You know the Mom’s of super villians age much faster than those of superheros. Maybe you could think of her for a change. > BTW, what did you do for her for Mother’s Day? Level a mid-sized city? I thought I saw someone with an Electrolux strapped to her back hitchhiking last Monday. > > Oh and could you look at our lawnmower? Hubby played with it, but it still runs kinda rough. > _And_, my birthday is on the 24th. Fireworks might be nice, if you’d consider the delay, I might consider helping your Mom with the tidying up. My _Mom_?!? :rolleyes: I’m married. My _wife_ cleans up after me. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/113 "2006-05-26T17:10:15Z")
> [@Happy Clam](#): > > Nah, but I do have an overpowering urge to go club me some seals. Little baby ones. You mean stronger than your _usual_ level of desire to club them? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/114 "2006-05-26T18:07:30Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > You mean stronger than your _usual_ level of desire to club them? [Homer]Mmm… Canadian club on the rocks… mmm[/Homer] ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/115 "2006-05-26T22:01:44Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > My Mom?!? > > I’m married. My wife cleans up after me. Are you sure you aren’t married to _me!?_ ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2006, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/116 "2006-05-27T01:04:30Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > Are you sure you aren’t married to _me!?_ Um, no. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2006, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/117 "2006-05-27T01:08:03Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > Are you sure you aren’t married to _me!?_ Um, no. I’m not sure. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2006, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939/118 "2006-05-27T02:55:24Z")
Winston , there are people you hate – Why not get some practice in ? Even the Dali Lama of Evil Henchmen , Dick Cheney knows how to get his man . Go Winston, Get Busy , Get Your Groove On , It’s not the moon but , smoke an ASSHOLE ! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-blow-up-the-moon-what-are-you-doing-this-summer/357939.md?page=5)