# I'm going to have to fire my friend. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 9, 2013, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-have-to-fire-my-friend/655245 "2013-04-09T17:51:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-have-to-fire-my-friend/655245/1 "2013-04-09T17:51:26Z")
Well, we’re actually ex-friends at this point. It seems unwise to give much in the way of details, so I won’t. Let’s just say that, having gotten a recent promotion, I am shortly going to be obliged to can one of my former peers for repeated and flagrant insubordination, not to mention some other unpleasant stuff he’d been written up for before I took the job. I’ve already set the process in motion and just got the word from Legal that all asses are covered. I am not looking forward to this. I don’t like firing anybody, much less people I like, and I do have some residual, irrational affection for the guy. Ah well. Best to get it done. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-have-to-fire-my-friend/655245/2 "2013-04-09T17:55:45Z")
If 'twere done when tis done, then 'twere well it were done quickly. Sucks. I’m sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-have-to-fire-my-friend/655245/3 "2013-04-09T17:59:53Z")
I had to do that once. It sucks. In my case it was 10 years ago and if I see this guy out somewhere he still gives me the stinkeye. Even though he went on and find something else much better suited to him. Oh well. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-have-to-fire-my-friend/655245/4 "2013-04-09T17:59:58Z")
Sorry to hear that. I had to fire a friend once. I was the young guy who came in and joined a crew of guys who had been there for years, and I quickly got promoted past all of them and became the person in charge. We were all friendly, everyone was cool but Bob became a friend, someone I would hang out with outside of work. Well, Bob was an alcoholic, and he was drinking on the job. I knew it, but he still got the job done so what did I care? Eventually though corporate found out and I had no choice but to fire my friend. I quit soon after that for other reasons, but it really blew; the man had a family and was a really good guy. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-have-to-fire-my-friend/655245/5 "2013-04-09T18:09:28Z")
You didn’t explain the Management Chip implant? Or the fact that you actually _are_ a Manager, whether he wants to believe it or not, and if you don’t act like one, you don’t get to keep being one? Well, now you get to explain that since he won’t act like you’re a manager, he won’t get to keep acting like an employee. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-have-to-fire-my-friend/655245/6 "2013-04-09T18:57:39Z")
You could always go the _Sneakers_ route. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-have-to-fire-my-friend/655245/7 "2013-04-09T19:02:18Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > You could always go the _Sneakers_ route. 😃 Which is? ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-have-to-fire-my-friend/655245/8 "2013-04-09T19:16:30Z")
Could you try the, “Fred, I’d rather you heard this from me than HR” angle? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-have-to-fire-my-friend/655245/9 "2013-04-09T19:16:53Z")
Rip the bandaid off. I know you said he is not your friend anymore, but even if you guys were besties you wouldn’t be doing him any kind of favors by keeping him on and enabling his behavior. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-have-to-fire-my-friend/655245/10 "2013-04-09T19:30:23Z")
You get to free a space for someone who actually wants a job! ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-have-to-fire-my-friend/655245/11 "2013-04-09T20:10:19Z")
I was the firee in a case like that; and what almost broke up our friendship was that he didn’t have the balls to just tell me the truth. I was in the middle of a long unemployed stretch about 10 years ago and my friend got me a job working for him at yard supply warehouse. You know, bagged mulches, peat moss, etc. One day he give me this long drawn out story about how he has to cut lay off several people, etc. etc. Turns out it was just me. The other employees were contract fork lift operators; and I was just doing schlub office work stuff. I knew times were getting lean. If he had just said, “I gotta let you go; I’ve been told to cut expenses.” I would have agreed that i should be the first one to go! I knew he had done me a favor. But later I found out he lied and I had that wonderful feeling of being the last person clued in on something and felt like a jackass. I’ve used the following principal when I’ve had to let people go as well: Be Honest, be quick. By the second sentence; you should be telling them they are terminated. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-have-to-fire-my-friend/655245/12 "2013-04-09T20:24:07Z")
And it’s done. The bad news is that it was fairly unpleasant, as he chose to raise both his voice and a considerable stink. The good news is that his doing so erased the last bits of guilt and sympathy I possessed for his situation. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-have-to-fire-my-friend/655245/13 "2013-04-09T20:51:44Z")
I’ve had to do that, and it sucks. The worst was firing a friend with an alcohol/drug problem. When sober, he was a phenomenal worker. He cranked out virtually error-free code faster than anyone else there. But he’d get blotto at lunch, or come in late because he was hung over, and things just weren’t getting done. We worked with him for months – got him into AA, got it paid for, got him rides to meetings, you name it. When I finally didn’t have a choice, I called him in to my office. He closed the door behind him and said, “what took you so long?” ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-have-to-fire-my-friend/655245/14 "2013-04-09T20:57:09Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > And it’s done. The bad news is that it was fairly unpleasant, as he chose to raise both his voice and a considerable stink. The good news is that his doing so erased the last bits of guilt and sympathy I possessed for his situation. So, I’m sorry and congratulations. I had to fire my mother’s boyfriend once. At least you won’t be seeing your guy at Thanksgiving. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-have-to-fire-my-friend/655245/15 "2013-04-09T21:10:12Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > And it’s done. The bad news is that it was fairly unpleasant, as he chose to raise both his voice and a considerable stink. The good news is that his doing so erased the last bits of guilt and sympathy I possessed for his situation. It’s kind of nice when they do that, you don’t end up second guessing yourself. And you realize what a jerk the guy was for putting you in this position. Best that you got it done and over with. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-have-to-fire-my-friend/655245/16 "2013-04-09T21:12:47Z")
Am I the only one who saw the title I’m going to have to fire my friend, and then that it was **Skald** and thought; _“What, like into the sun?”_ ---
**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-have-to-fire-my-friend/655245/17 "2013-04-09T21:28:33Z")
> [@gwendee](#): > > So, I’m sorry and congratulations. > > I had to fire my mother’s boyfriend once. At least you won’t be seeing your guy at Thanksgiving. Is there more to _that_ intriguing story? ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-have-to-fire-my-friend/655245/18 "2013-04-09T21:32:24Z")
So… you have an opening for a deathray operator? ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-have-to-fire-my-friend/655245/19 "2013-04-09T21:49:55Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > So… you have an opening for a deathray operator? He still won’t install a safety railing. ---
**Author:** ![Apollyon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apollyon/32/4238_2.png) [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-have-to-fire-my-friend/655245/20 "2013-04-09T22:55:14Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I am not looking forward to this… Sympathies – not an easy thing to do. Had minor involvement in similar when business partner had to fire an employee. Was this why you were angry about Antarctica? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-have-to-fire-my-friend/655245.md?page=2)