# I'm going to hide some trivial info in my marriage **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 18, 2013, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-hide-some-trivial-info-in-my-marriage/666545 "2013-08-18T06:39:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-hide-some-trivial-info-in-my-marriage/666545/1 "2013-08-18T06:39:47Z")
My mum gave my wife a set of 8 cups, saucers and plates as well as a tea pot, milk jug and sugar bowl. They were matching hand-made blue/brown stoneware. When my mum was offering them to my wife I was trying to talk my wife out of it because it was heavy and bulky and I didn’t really like the look of it. Unlike my parents I want to have a lot of empty space in my house. I think it is a luxury not to have crowded cupboards. The stuff was packed into a large box with newspaper. When I was at my wife’s mum’s house her mum was trying to get me to listen to my wife and let her keep the stuff. I rang up my mum and said to my mum that my wife didn’t really want it that much and she didn’t want to hurt my mum’s feelings. I asked if I could sell it since my mum originally said it was worth hundred’s of dollars. My mum said that it cost the original owner’s hundreds of dollars. My mum said that she’d offer it to one of my sisters if I gave it back. I told my wife that I wanted to get stuff that we’d both love rather than something that only one of us merely likes. Later a woman found some room in our kitchen cupboards and packed them away. My wife has some gift cards which she doesn’t know what to spend on and I said we could use it to buy some mugs, etc. Then my wife said we could buy some more Corelle plates - which I really like but my wife originally didn’t appreciate. So today we bought all of the large round ones that were there - 3. We have large squarish ones as well but they are too big to rotate in our microwave. I found a set of 8 mint Corelle cups and saucers with hook handles. They stack and would take up the same space as 2 or maybe 3 of the other cups. My wife said she liked the Corelle set I showed her on ebay so I bought it for $80 including postage. They were vintage but mint. When we went to visit my wife’s mum again my wife said not to go on about the cups again. She also said that if she gives into me about the cups then in the future that would encourage me to have more power, etc. While I was having a nice hot shower at her mum’s place her mum told her about a set of cups she had that she never used. This convinced my wife that she didn’t need to keep the set that my mum gave her. So when we got back home I packed up the set. It took up about half the room in the box that I thought it would. Later I thought that maybe I could have held onto that set but I had already ordered a set of 8 from ebay so I might as well just get rid of that set from my mum. Also now I have more room in the cupboards. If I told my wife that I wasn’t so convinced about this issue I think she might take me less seriously in the future since there would be a chance that I’d change my mind. So I think I’ll try and keep my changing mind a secret from her. ---
**Author:** ![Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emtar_KronJonDerSohn)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-hide-some-trivial-info-in-my-marriage/666545/2 "2013-08-18T16:00:18Z")
Huh? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-hide-some-trivial-info-in-my-marriage/666545/3 "2013-08-18T16:12:46Z")
**JohnClay** , how’s your sleep? Your post is showing some disorganized thoughts and whiff of mania. Go make sure you’re taking all your meds, okay? And if you’re not currently taking anything, it might be worth going to the doctor today and talking with them. I think it’s just fine not to share with your wife that you changed your mind over such a minor matter. But I am concerned with your mental health at the moment. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-hide-some-trivial-info-in-my-marriage/666545/4 "2013-08-18T16:18:09Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > **JohnClay** , how’s your sleep? Your post is showing some disorganized thoughts and whiff of mania. Go make sure you’re taking all your meds, okay? And if you’re not currently taking anything, it might be worth going to the doctor today and talking with them. > > I think it’s just fine not to share with your wife that you changed your mind over such a minor matter. But I am concerned with your mental health at the moment. Said it better than I was gonna… ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-hide-some-trivial-info-in-my-marriage/666545/5 "2013-08-18T17:25:21Z")
> [@](#): > > Later a woman found some room in our kitchen cupboards and packed them away Just some woman? 😕 Who was this woman? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-hide-some-trivial-info-in-my-marriage/666545/6 "2013-08-18T18:24:39Z")
If I’m understanding the OP correctly, your mother offered your wife a tea set. Your wife wanted the tea set but you didn’t. Okay, that’s a difference of opinion the two of you needed to work out. And in case you’re not aware, working it out doesn’t necessarily mean you convincing her to do what you want. You apparently tried various schemes to get your way. You tried to convince your wife to buy a different tea set. You tried to convince your mother to sell the tea set. And worst of all, you lied and told your mother your wife had changed her mind and didn’t want the tea set. You need to grow up and stop trying to always have things your way. You also need to stop trying to manipulate your family. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-hide-some-trivial-info-in-my-marriage/666545/7 "2013-08-18T18:58:09Z")
Ah… do what you want,[be my guest!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88pKnQ5yXpk) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-hide-some-trivial-info-in-my-marriage/666545/8 "2013-08-18T21:19:48Z")
The OP can be read as a metaphor, right? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-hide-some-trivial-info-in-my-marriage/666545/9 "2013-08-18T21:21:23Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Just some woman? 😕 Who was this woman? She represents change. See it now? ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-hide-some-trivial-info-in-my-marriage/666545/10 "2013-08-18T21:48:51Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Just some woman? 😕 Who was this woman? My wife’s brother’s wife - I didn’t want to give away too many personal details. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-hide-some-trivial-info-in-my-marriage/666545/11 "2013-08-18T21:52:17Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > **JohnClay** , how’s your sleep? Your post is showing some disorganized thoughts and whiff of mania. Go make sure you’re taking all your meds, okay? And if you’re not currently taking anything, it might be worth going to the doctor today and talking with them. > > I think it’s just fine not to share with your wife that you changed your mind over such a minor matter. But I am concerned with your mental health at the moment. I’ve been sleeping in a lot - sometimes to 12:30pm. I’ve been having all my meds. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-hide-some-trivial-info-in-my-marriage/666545/12 "2013-08-18T21:53:12Z")
It’s much better to tell your wife that you’ve changed your mind and you’re ok with the tea set than to continue to object to it for no reason. It would be foolish and unkind to hide from her that you’ve changed your mind. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-hide-some-trivial-info-in-my-marriage/666545/13 "2013-08-18T21:56:21Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > …And worst of all, you lied and told your mother your wife had changed her mind and didn’t want the tea set. I didn’t say my wife changed her mind - I said that she actually just accepted it because she didn’t really want it to not hurt my mother’s feelings. And I think that is partly true. > [@](#): > > You need to grow up and stop trying to always have things your way. You also need to stop trying to manipulate your family. I don’t always try and get things my way… I would have given up after a while. Also in this case it was about us both liking a tea set vs only one of us liking it. So even if I did get my way it would be where my wife also liked it too. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-hide-some-trivial-info-in-my-marriage/666545/14 "2013-08-18T21:58:02Z")
> [@Eliahna](#): > > It’s much better to tell your wife that you’ve changed your mind and you’re ok with the tea set than to continue to object to it for no reason. It would be foolish and unkind to hide from her that you’ve changed your mind. Actually I still think the ebay tea set is better and I’ve already ordered it now - it’s just that I’m not as against the original set as I once was. I still don’t really want to keep the old set. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-hide-some-trivial-info-in-my-marriage/666545/15 "2013-08-18T22:10:41Z")
Hey, **JC** , could you explain that enigma of a thread title? ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-hide-some-trivial-info-in-my-marriage/666545/16 "2013-08-18T22:18:41Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Hey, **JC** , could you explain that enigma of a thread title? The trivial info is that I don’t dislike the original tea set as much as I did. ---
**Author:** ![slm2955](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c6cbf5/32.png) [@slm2955](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slm2955)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-hide-some-trivial-info-in-my-marriage/666545/17 "2013-08-18T22:21:26Z")
That info was worth the long thread? ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-hide-some-trivial-info-in-my-marriage/666545/18 "2013-08-18T22:29:01Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > I didn’t want to give away too many personal details. (reads sentence) (checks username) (falls over laughing) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-hide-some-trivial-info-in-my-marriage/666545/19 "2013-08-18T22:31:39Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > The trivial info is that I don’t dislike the original tea set as much as I did. Huh. I didn’t find that trivial at all. Well, carry on. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2013, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-hide-some-trivial-info-in-my-marriage/666545/20 "2013-08-18T22:42:13Z")
> [@bobkitty](#): > > (reads sentence) > > (checks username) > > (falls over laughing) BTW my username isn’t my real name. It is what I thought would be the ideal name based on Kabalarian numerology. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-hide-some-trivial-info-in-my-marriage/666545.md?page=2)