# I'm going to need help disposing of a body. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 13, 2016, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-need-help-disposing-of-a-body/768373 "2016-10-13T00:06:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![janeslogin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@janeslogin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janeslogin)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-need-help-disposing-of-a-body/768373/1 "2016-10-13T00:06:56Z")
The wife and I, neither having any living relatives, decided we wanted to donate our bodies to science. We got lawyers to write it all up legally. A mortician was located who takes cadavers to a nearby medical school. Everything was signed notarized, recorded with a state office that keeps a record of such things, etc. Then we discovered she is too big! The med schools won’t take a 250 pound woman. The persons who leave bodies in the forest to rot won’t take a 250 pound woman. We searched dozens of internet sites and all say the same thing. The limitation is even included in a lecture by some professor who studies such things. I might of course die first but otherwise suggestions as to what to do with a 250 pound corps will be needed. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-need-help-disposing-of-a-body/768373/2 "2016-10-13T00:30:45Z")
Well, apparently real human skeletons are pretty hard to come by. Maybe you ought to find out who prepares genuine articulated skeletons for med schools, and see if they care about the size of the body around it. I’m assuming her skeleton is complete. If not, I don’t know what else to suggest. If it’s missing, say, part of a fingerbone, that might not be a problem, but missing a leg probably is. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-need-help-disposing-of-a-body/768373/3 "2016-10-13T00:35:21Z")
Leave her in a ditch for the coyotes. That’s what I told my wife to do to me. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-need-help-disposing-of-a-body/768373/4 "2016-10-13T00:43:34Z")
I am curious now but too tired to google; is there a weight limit for men? ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-need-help-disposing-of-a-body/768373/5 "2016-10-13T01:23:09Z")
So I’m curious, what happens to her body if you don’t make arrangements now? Ar you both planning on dropping dead soon or is this a long term thing. Lets assume you go first, when she does die, what happens to bodies that have no one to claim them? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-need-help-disposing-of-a-body/768373/6 "2016-10-13T01:54:59Z")
I’m in rural Nevada. This is squarely in my wheelhouse. Name the time and leave the fee in a used microwave popcorn bag where instructed. ---
**Author:** ![usedtobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ec9cab/32.png) [@usedtobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usedtobe)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-need-help-disposing-of-a-body/768373/7 "2016-10-13T02:41:33Z")
Check with local crematoria - some have facilities to handle large bodies. Not all do. Your County (most places in US) will have procedures for unclaimed bodies (indigent burial usually). ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-need-help-disposing-of-a-body/768373/8 "2016-10-13T04:32:24Z")
Well, [you could try these folks](http://laughingsquid.com/wp-content/uploads/soylent-green-20110720-170654.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-need-help-disposing-of-a-body/768373/9 "2016-10-13T04:44:01Z")
> [@usedtobe](#): > > Check with local crematoria - some have facilities to handle large bodies. Not all do. > > Your County (most places in US) will have procedures for unclaimed bodies (indigent burial usually). 250 isn’t a large size for a guy and I’m assuming most crematoriums can handle men, yes? And once there, the crematorium won’t know the difference in sex. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2016, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-need-help-disposing-of-a-body/768373/10 "2016-10-13T23:32:24Z")
Not to be rude or anything, but if this is a serious issue, is there any reason that she isn’t trying to lose the weight? I’m just curious. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2016, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-need-help-disposing-of-a-body/768373/11 "2016-10-14T00:23:37Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Not to be rude or anything, but if this is a serious issue, is there any reason that she isn’t trying to lose the weight? I’m just curious. We don’t know how much she weighs. If she weighs 260, it might be worth switching to Splenda in the morning coffee, and taking the stairs at work, but if she weighs 350, taking off 100 lbs, and keeping them off indefinitely just to be able to be an anatomy class cadaver is a big undertaking (pun intended). ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2016, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-need-help-disposing-of-a-body/768373/12 "2016-10-14T00:49:41Z")
Friends help friends move. Real friends help friends move bodies. ---
**Author:** ![drewder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/57b2e6/32.png) [@drewder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewder)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2016, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-need-help-disposing-of-a-body/768373/13 "2016-10-14T03:34:54Z")
I’ve been curious is using a hot (aerobic bacteria) composting method would dispose of a body so you might try that. Saw a guy turn a whole chicken (feathers, bones and all) into compost in about 3 weeks. Let me know the results. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2016, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-need-help-disposing-of-a-body/768373/14 "2016-10-14T04:45:11Z")
I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs… ---
**Author:** ![mmmiiikkkeee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/edb3f5/32.png) [@mmmiiikkkeee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmmiiikkkeee)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2016, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-need-help-disposing-of-a-body/768373/15 "2016-10-14T04:48:37Z")
> [@janeslogin](#): > > We got lawyers to write it all up legally. A mortician was located who takes cadavers to a nearby medical school. Everything was signed notarized, recorded with a state office that keeps a record of such things, etc. > > Then we discovered she is too big! The med schools won’t take … This is the part of the background that doesn’t make sense. IME a big part of the lawyers jobs as well as a responsibility of anyone involved with a contract you’re signing is _making sure what the terms are, that they are legal and that everyone agree to them_. This situation sounds very outside the bounds of normal legal reality… that you’d entrust and pay a professional to handle all this stuff only to then hear: “gotcha!! whoops - we don’t actually do that for you kind, thanks for your money though!” In real life your first call is one to a new lawyer to sue the first plus whoever agreed to the farce… or at the very least someone owes you your legal fees for not bothering to consult their own FAQs on who they take cadaver-wise. If this is a semi-legit question, then I’d say your recourse is to do what they did on the old days: grab a shovel and dig a hole to dispose of the body. Sounds like no one in your vicinity is very serious about the matter of death and proper protocol anyway. If it’s an entertainment style question, then the body size suggests to me a luau might be the most popular option. Invite the lawyer, mortician, and staff of your state office of such things… ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2016, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-need-help-disposing-of-a-body/768373/16 "2016-10-14T05:09:25Z")
If the forest rotting people won’t do it and cremation is too pedestrian, why not keep it simple with a good old fashioned burial at sea? The creatures of the deep gotta eat just as much as the creatures of the forest. ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2016, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-need-help-disposing-of-a-body/768373/17 "2016-10-14T05:15:25Z")
With the powers that be pissing and moaning about how many Americans are obese, you’d think maybe the medical schools would have some important things to learn from chubby cadavers. Since so many of their future patients will be just that. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2016, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-need-help-disposing-of-a-body/768373/18 "2016-10-14T05:48:56Z")
> [@pohjonen](#): > > With the powers that be pissing and moaning about how many Americans are obese, you’d think maybe the medical schools would have some important things to learn from chubby cadavers. Since so many of their future patients will be just that. I agree. And even if the medical schools don’t want any plus-sized corpses, you’d think the forensics people would. The whole point of leaving bodies out in the woods is to establish baselines for how long it takes corpses to decompose. I’m assuming that a three hundred pound body is going to take longer than a hundred pound body. You’d think they’d want to study this. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2016, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-need-help-disposing-of-a-body/768373/19 "2016-10-14T06:22:59Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I’m assuming that a three hundred pound body is going to take longer than a hundred pound body. You’d think they’d want to study this. It might actually be quicker, due to the higher proportion of soft tissue and liquids (less likely to dry out and mummify, maybe - but that’s exactly your point - surely someone wants to study that. ---
**Author:** ![standingwave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@standingwave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/standingwave)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2016, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-need-help-disposing-of-a-body/768373/20 "2016-10-14T09:01:42Z")
I am not sentimental. I have left strict instructions that in the event of my demise that my corpse be placed in the brown receptacle and rolled out to the street. After all, we pay a monthly fee for curbside collection that’s higher than it’s ever been. Then it’s off to the waste-2-energy plant (incinerator) where my chemical bonds can be transformed into electricity to run some kid’s Xbox game. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-need-help-disposing-of-a-body/768373.md?page=2)