# I'm going to shove that cell phone up your ass. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 21, 2005, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199 "2005-06-21T15:04:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199/21 "2005-06-21T18:07:15Z")
> [@Greathouse](#): > > Welcome to the pit. If you were that offended by that comment, you may want to grab some tissues if your going to stay here. :rolleyes: Fuck you as well. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199/22 "2005-06-21T18:08:54Z")
> [@Notorius Nik](#): > > I’ve got another direct insult for you. Get the fuck over it. He wasn’t personaly insulting anyone in your family. He was making a general statement. If you get so damn offended by something you read on a message board, you really shouldn’t be reading much at all. Lighten up, grow up and for god sake shut the fuck up. > > Oh yeah, almost forgot the OP. I also hate cell phones. I hate that I have to own one now because they are so damn convienent. But I’ve got a rule with mine that I try to always adhere to. When I’m in public, the phone is on vibrate. If I take the call, I usually tell them that I’ll call them back when I’m somewhere less public. If I’m in the bank or the movie theater, the damn thing stays off. And you. ---
**Author:** ![Greathouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greathouse/32/2992_2.png) [@Greathouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greathouse)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199/23 "2005-06-21T18:17:51Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > Fuck you as well. No thanks. As a general rule I don’t donate to unworthy charities. You whiney little sissy assed bitch. Oh no! Someone said something that I can take the wrong way if I tilt my head just right. Kick rocks, assmunch. ---
**Author:** ![TwoTrouts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@TwoTrouts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwoTrouts)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199/24 "2005-06-21T18:26:19Z")
Back to cellphones… **QuickSilver** , I am with you! These things are touted as absolutely essential, yet I get on just fine without one. This puts me in the minority, I guess. Case in point: I go from my office to a gym to work out. Last week, as I entered the locker room in my business attire, a teenager stops me. “Dude, can I borrow your cell phone?” I smile and say, “I don’t have one.” Teenager takes a step back in shock and looks at me like I am some kind of mutant! (Mt teenage daughters agree with the kid, I am a mutant to be without a cellphone!) ---
**Author:** ![Notorious\_Nik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/858c86/32.png) [@Notorious\_Nik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Notorious_Nik)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199/25 "2005-06-21T18:29:14Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > And you. Well good goddamn, that one cuts like a knife. I don’t know how I’m going to face the rest of the day. How can I go on??? I don’t know what to do, I’ve been added to the fuck list. Just when I thought life couldn’t get any worse. I feel so lost. I now return you to your regularly scheduled rant, already in progress. (cell phones still suck) ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199/26 "2005-06-21T18:32:06Z")
I had a cell phone when on call, I was also paid well to be on call. I have no intention of being on call without being paid for it so I do not have a cell phone now. Some people do need to be contactable at all times even if they are not the President, but those people are polite enough to set their phone to vibrate mode. I hope they don’t introduce cell phone blocking technology, but instead allow on the spot fines for cell phone missuse. I would not like to have been blocked from going to cinemas or restaurants whilst I was on call. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199/27 "2005-06-21T18:35:18Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > Only if you buy me dinner first, babycakes. Your place or mine? ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199/28 "2005-06-21T18:36:44Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > You! Ya, the one with the blackberry type thing that never leaves your hands. Nobody is impressed that you’re that wired. You look more like a dog with a wireless fence collar than a savvy connected player. Knock that shit off. I wholeheartedly agree with this for every single BlackBerry user. Except me, that is. > [@](#): > > I know it’s just your S.O. asking if you’d remembered to pick up the dry cleaning. Dude, I _wish_! Hold the phone. Are you telling me people are taking pictures of their asses with their camera phones and sending them via email to other people? Are they hot? If so, where the fuck do I sign up? ---
**Author:** ![corncobpipe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/65b543/32.png) [@corncobpipe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corncobpipe)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199/29 "2005-06-21T18:37:09Z")
Cell phones are retarded. I meant to post that earlier, but I suffer from A.D.D…the fake disease. jk ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199/30 "2005-06-21T18:39:25Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > Your place or mine? Don’t do it! It’s a trap! (I don’t actually know to which of you I’m directing this.) ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199/31 "2005-06-21T18:41:48Z")
My wife suffers from A.D.D. and it has had serious negative effects on her life, both personal and professional. The condition of A.D.D. is not something to be used as an insult and the use of A.D.D. with the word “retard” is something I find offensive and would find offensive even if my wife did not suffer from the affliction. Pit or no pit. ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199/32 "2005-06-21T18:46:47Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > …I don’t even care that you can take a photo of your ass with the damn thing and send it to your buddies as a joke is a source of endless amusement to you. Well, it is alot safer than [sitting atop the glass on Xerox machine](http://www.wimp.com/assphotocopy/) :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199/33 "2005-06-21T18:57:30Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > My wife suffers from A.D.D. and it has had serious negative effects on her life, both personal and professional. The condition of A.D.D. is not something to be used as an insult and the use of A.D.D. with the word “retard” is something I find offensive and would find offensive even if my wife did not suffer from the affliction. Pit or no pit. We’re all sorry that your wife is retarded, but if you want to pore through every thread at the dope looking for slights that offend you and scattering "fuck you"s, you’re probably better off just starting a pit thread of your own. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199/34 "2005-06-21T19:01:01Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > **We’re all sorry that your wife is retarded** , but if you want to pore through every thread at the dope looking for slights that offend you and scattering "fuck you"s, you’re probably better off just starting a pit thread of your own. Dude, this is a seriously shitty thing to say to someone, especially completely unprovoked. You’re a dick. [sub]Note that my mod hat is off, and lying crumpled up in the corner.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199/35 "2005-06-21T19:05:05Z")
It’s all going pear shaped, innit?.. Just when I got my highest pit thread rating to date… (8/10)… \ ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199/36 "2005-06-21T19:08:30Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Dude, this is a seriously shitty thing to say to someone, especially completely unprovoked. You’re a dick. > [sub]Note that my mod hat is off, and lying crumpled up in the corner.[/sub] She’s NOT retarded. She has A.D.D. I was just poking him with another stick. If she really was mentally handicapped, I wouldn’t say that. ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199/37 "2005-06-21T19:12:11Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > My wife suffers from A.D.D. and it has had serious negative effects on her life, both personal and professional. The condition of A.D.D. is not something to be used as an insult and the use of A.D.D. with the word “retard” is something I find offensive and would find offensive even if my wife did not suffer from the affliction. Pit or no pit. Dude, _I’m_ ADD and I thought **QuickSilver** ’s epithet was pretty funny. **Trunk** , however, was way out of line. Unless he was being ironic, in which case: heh. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199/38 "2005-06-21T19:12:27Z")
Holy fuck y’all, how did a thread about cell phones turn this ugly? Not taking any sides here but admittedly I did cringe a bit when I saw a common disorder used as an insult, not to mention the word “retard”, the use of which as we’ve seen ably demonstrated before never ends well. Maybe **LouisB** is sensitive to this but I can’t say I blame him one little bit. I don’t really see how attempts to provoke him further do anyone any good either. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199/39 "2005-06-21T19:12:53Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > We’re all sorry that your wife is retarded, but if you want to pore through every thread at the dope looking for slights that offend you and scattering "fuck you"s, you’re probably better off just starting a pit thread of your own. My wife is NOT retarded you slimy cocksucker. Go straight to hell and fuck you while you are going. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199/40 "2005-06-21T19:14:53Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > My wife is NOT retarded you slimy cocksucker. Go straight to hell and fuck you while you are going. See **giraffe** , that’s all I was getting at. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-shove-that-cell-phone-up-your-ass/309199.md?page=3)