# I'm going to take a dump. I may be some time. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 21, 2003, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-a-dump-i-may-be-some-time/189835 "2003-07-21T02:27:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-a-dump-i-may-be-some-time/189835/1 "2003-07-21T02:27:14Z")
I don’t make it into an event. I sit down, drop my “payload”, wipe and leave. I’m in there for maybe 5 minutes max, unless I’m experiencing “difficulties”, of course. I don’t get these poeple that dissapear in there for like 20 or 30 minutes. They’re normally easy to spot - they’re the ones that hold their calls, or take a book with them. Sometimes you forget where the hell they went, until you see them walking back to their desk like 30 minutes later. On a related subject, it bugs me when someones tells you where they are going! I really do not need to know! How long do you spend in there when you have to “drop the kids off at the pool”? Maybe its just me, but I don’t really want to be soaking up that delightful toilet ambience any longer than necessary. ---
**Author:** ![mrsPBB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@mrsPBB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrsPBB)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-a-dump-i-may-be-some-time/189835/2 "2003-07-21T02:35:38Z")
Personally, I hate to poo, so I do my business, clean up, and scoot out of there. My husband however takes his sweet time, reading a magazine, and then calls me in to tell me how difficult it is. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-a-dump-i-may-be-some-time/189835/3 "2003-07-21T02:44:37Z")
When I’m in foreign facilities, I am a model of efficiency. At home, I find it to be a sanctuary, my time, a brief escape from outside pressures. I’ve been known to put a leg asleep while meditating on the throne. Happy ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-a-dump-i-may-be-some-time/189835/4 "2003-07-21T02:59:10Z")
I once was in a restaraunt, and had to use the restroom. When I got there, both toilets were occupied, I stood for a few minutes. 5 minutes later, someone shouts from the door “boys, come on we need to leave.” Apparently they were brothers, but the thing that bothers me is they were in there for almost 10 minutes just goofing off, taking up both toilets. ---
**Author:** ![Zap\_Rowsdower](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3da27b/32.png) [@Zap\_Rowsdower](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zap_Rowsdower)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-a-dump-i-may-be-some-time/189835/5 "2003-07-21T03:23:00Z")
I like to spend as little time as possible in there. I also do not want to have any sort of conversation. Sometimes at work while I am tending to “business” some co-worker will come in and start chatting. Also, on occasion, when I drive up to visit my parents the first thing I will do, because I try to drive without having to make any stops along the way, I will visit the facilities. They will start or continue talking to me while I’m in there. That just drives me nuts. ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-a-dump-i-may-be-some-time/189835/6 "2003-07-21T03:41:02Z")
Another thing I’ve noticed is its always men that like to spend “quality time” in there. I guess women just do what needs to be done and leave. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-a-dump-i-may-be-some-time/189835/7 "2003-07-21T05:48:29Z")
Most of the time, I’m in and out. And out. But sometimes, if I’m sick of being at work, and I need to be alone for a while, I’ll whip out my Palm Pilot and read for a while, until I can face the world again. ---
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-a-dump-i-may-be-some-time/189835/8 "2003-07-21T07:31:40Z")
I read in the john all the time, and I’ve made significant advances in technique while on the crapper. ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-a-dump-i-may-be-some-time/189835/9 "2003-07-21T08:12:13Z")
I don’t see what the big deal is. I like to spend a little time in there doing some Maxim reading. It’s not like it smells that bad or anything (unless you have to pinch it, 'cuz once you do, you’ve basically broken the casing;)) ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-a-dump-i-may-be-some-time/189835/10 "2003-07-21T09:46:56Z")
:rolleyes: Haven’t we had _quite_ enuff of these threads? Please? :rolleyes: > [@](#): > > [From the OP] On a related subject, it bugs me when someones tells you where they are going! I really do not need to know! And on another related subject, we do NOT need to know the intricacies of your digestive and elimination systems. REALLY. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-a-dump-i-may-be-some-time/189835/11 "2003-07-21T12:54:18Z")
> [@](#): > > And on another related subject, we do NOT need to know the intricacies of your digestive and elimination systems. REALLY. So don’t open the thread. ---
**Author:** ![refusal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ac91a4/32.png) [@refusal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/refusal)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-a-dump-i-may-be-some-time/189835/12 "2003-07-21T13:36:30Z")
I’m very much an in-and-out guy. The exception is if I’m hungover, when the workplace toilet is often the only place to escape and hide. But even if it doesn’t stink of excrement, a shared toilet is likely to stink of something unpleasant, like bleach. And if you’ve read what [Cecil has to say about airborne toilet ickiness](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a990416.html), you wouldn’t want to linger either. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-a-dump-i-may-be-some-time/189835/13 "2003-07-21T13:43:28Z")
Well, I personally like to take my laptop and microphone in there while in chat, and share it with the whole freakin’ world… ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2003, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-a-dump-i-may-be-some-time/189835/14 "2003-07-21T13:49:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by samarm \* > \*\*Another thing I’ve noticed is its always men that like to spend “quality time” in there. I guess women just do what needs to be done and leave. \*\* Hate to ruin your theory, but as a female bathroom sitter and reader, I had to check in. When I visit other peoples’ houses and use their facilities, I always wonder about folks who don’t have reading material in the bathroom. How do they do their business without a book to keep them company? Hell, I’ve read books I never really wanted to read cuz it was the only thing in the bathroom at the time, and I got hooked. Cute related story: Hubby and I both read in the bathroom. One time, one of our girls (she was about three at the time) seemed to be taking an awful long time in the bathroom. I went in to check on her, and there she sat, with one of hubby’s books open, in her lap. The book had no pictures, and she couldn’t read, but she certainly had gotten the message that when you’re on the john, you have a book to read! 🙂