# I'm going to take the Gigli bullet **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 7, 2003, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654 "2003-08-07T20:04:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/13edae/32.png) [@Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Cheatem_Undhow)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2003, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654/61 "2003-08-09T18:45:39Z")
Guess I missed that detail. [Emily Litella] _Nevermind…_ [/Emily Litella] ---
**Author:** ![tramp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tramp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tramp)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2003, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654/62 "2003-08-09T23:06:16Z")
Change of plans… I got someone to go with me but we have to go to the 7:45 at the Hoffman 22 in Alexandria… Only 30 minutes until turkey time!!! ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2003, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654/63 "2003-08-09T23:25:30Z")
Sorry, but in that case I’m out of this. I can’t get there by then. ---
**Author:** ![Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambi_Hassenpfeffer)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2003, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654/64 "2003-08-09T23:36:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tramp \* > \*\*Change of plans… I got someone to go with me but we have to go to the 7:45 at the Hoffman 22 in Alexandria… > > Only 30 minutes until turkey time!!! \*\* Just think – if you hurry, you can see it twice! I wouldn’t think there are too many trailers in the front screwing up your two hour running time. Gives ya ten whole minutes to make it to the later time. And a film as fine as this certainly deserves such devotion. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654/65 "2003-08-10T00:10:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Skopo \* > **I like Pacino and Walken, but they both have a habit of playing typecast, maniacal characters in really bad movies. Sometimes I wonder if they’re intentionally hamming it up because they realize how dreadful the film truly is, and ironically, the movie actually becomes good to watch if only for their over-acted characters.** You mean like Jeremy Irons in the _Dungeons and Dragons_ movie? ---
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654/66 "2003-08-10T00:48:35Z")
**tramp** ’s been in there for over an hour now… I’m worried. When should we call out the search and rescue team? ---
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654/67 "2003-08-10T00:50:45Z")
(And if you make it out alive, then for God’s sakes, man, did you at least pay for something respectable?) ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654/68 "2003-08-10T02:44:11Z")
Okay, I can’t sit by on the sidelines while y’all throw yourselves on a grenade like this. **I’m** going to throw myself on the _Gigli_ grenade tonight, too. The one-and-only showing of _Gigli_ in the town where I live is at 9:25 PM Pacific Daylight Time, which is an hour-and-a-half from now. I’ve read the Mr. Cranky review (he ONLY gave it 4 bombs?), so I’m as prepared as I’ll ever be. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654/69 "2003-08-10T03:04:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Daowajan \* > \*\ ***tramp** ’s been in there for over an hour now… > > I’m worried. When should we call out the search and rescue team? \*\* No, no, no! Remember the first rule of rescue – you never do anything that will put _more_ people in jeopardy. Send in a rescue team and that will be all the more bodies to clean up after their heads explode. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654/70 "2003-08-10T06:54:28Z")
Well, I sat all the way through it. And my head didn’t explode or anything. This wasn’t so much a **bad** movie as just a **dumb** movie. Ben Affleck – who I am going to call B-Fleck in honor of _The Onion_’s infographic about his engagement to J-Lo a couple months ago – plays a dumb thug who tries to act cool. His script was written by that character in Douglas Adams’ _Life, the Universe, and Everything_ who won the Award for the Most Gratuitous Use of the Word “Fuck” in a Serious Screenplay. J-Lo, on the other hand, plays a good-looking holier-than-thou diva for whom everything goes her way and who pussy-whips B-Fleck within 5 seconds of meeting him. In other words, they played themselves. Except that the scriptwriters also tried to make J-Lo’s character smart and witty. Oh, and the two of them have to take care of an actor who does a pretty dismal job of pretending to be a retarded guy. Or a guy with Tourette’s Syndrome. Or an autistic guy. They didn’t really say. Anyway, said badly-acted mentally-deficient character’s goal in life seems to be to visit Baywatch and to listen to the automated weather reporting lady from England on the phone. I think the main reason the movie bombed so badly was that it got practically **NO** advertising leading up to its opening weekend. The studio should rectify this situation by blasting the airwaves with advertising slogans like this: “_Gigli_ – It’s Not Quite As Bad As _Battlefield Earth_!” ---
**Author:** ![godzillatemple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/49beb7/32.png) [@godzillatemple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/godzillatemple)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654/71 "2003-08-10T16:09:59Z")
Anybody else feeling just a wee bit concerned that we haven’t heard back from **Tramp** yet? ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654/72 "2003-08-10T16:26:22Z")
He’s probably still throwing up. ---
**Author:** ![tramp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tramp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tramp)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654/73 "2003-08-10T16:29:40Z")
She… SHE! Oh good lord. Oh good merciful lord… I have to get groceries right now but I will be back to this thread a little later to review the festering pile of crap Gigli was. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654/74 "2003-08-10T16:37:28Z")
Sorry, **tramp** , for the gender mangling. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654/75 "2003-08-10T17:14:08Z")
Two reviews for _Gigli_ are now up on Bad Movie Night: [http://www.hit-n-run.com/cgi/read\_review.cgi?review=53631\_mccartney](http://www.hit-n-run.com/cgi/read_review.cgi?review=53631_mccartney) [http://www.hit-n-run.com/cgi/read\_review.cgi?review=53631\_rogermw](http://www.hit-n-run.com/cgi/read_review.cgi?review=53631_rogermw) ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654/76 "2003-08-10T17:32:46Z")
Oh, and one observation both of those movies neglect to mention: There’s one scene where a minor character slits her wrists. Thing is, she slits them **sideways.** Everybody knows you’re supposed to slit your wrists vertically, with the cuts going from just below the wrist down toward your elbow! Duh! ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654/77 "2003-08-10T19:10:05Z")
**tracer,** does this movie strike you as being the sort of movie that would be about people who know jack shit about anything, much less human anatomy? ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654/78 "2003-08-10T20:47:29Z")
Well, there was the whole Penis vs. Vagina debate. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654/79 "2003-08-10T23:22:25Z")
… which proved my personal hypothesis that, in this relationship, Ben Affleck is a big pussy. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2003, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654/80 "2003-08-11T00:11:30Z")
Where’s **Tramp’s** review??? The suspense is killing me! Tramp? TRAMP? TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-take-the-gigli-bullet/193654.md?page=5)