# I'm going to the Bahamas! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 2, 2011, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-the-bahamas/573159 "2011-03-02T03:54:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2011, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-the-bahamas/573159/41 "2011-04-10T23:28:19Z")
Unless I misread something, the OP’s _brother_, not his BIL (sister’s husband) is in the same line of work as the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-the-bahamas/573159/42 "2011-04-11T03:31:04Z")
What **stoyel** said. I’ve, at various times, made more or less than other members of my family. If I needed money, they gave it to me. When I could, I gave them money if they needed it. It’s kinda what families do. Or maybe just mine, I don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2011, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-the-bahamas/573159/43 "2011-04-11T14:26:52Z")
This is a _stable_ family? One half sounds like a buncha fuckin’ moochers while the other half kvetches about money. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-the-bahamas/573159/44 "2011-04-21T14:52:08Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > One half sounds like a buncha fuckin’ moochers while the other half kvetches about money. Oh yeah? Well one half of this thread says I shouldn’t give them anything, and the other half says I shouldn’t ruin family moments. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t. If family comes to me and says “I can’t go unless you pay”, then I either deny them and ruin the trip or give it to them without expecting to be paid back (i.e. get taken advantage of) or give it to them as a loan and get stiffed. > [@stoyel](#): > > My dad died precisely a year ago at 54. In his memory I offer a hearty “FUCK YOU” for your petty little squabbles that, if you had things your way, would deny your own father and the rest of his family a lasting memory. > … > Unless I’m misunderstanding that particular snark, how does she owe more money after paying for something with money she already borrowed? Does taking a loan from the bank incur an additional 100% charge for every transaction for the duration of the loan? > … > based on your own account, that you’re a self-important scumbag who measures his self-worth by his bank statement and is going to be very lonely later in life if this trajectory continue. So I guess I should just give all of my money to my siblings, eh? Lest I poison memories? And I have no idea what that middle paragraph is about. Are you talking about the parking? My brother was saying that she borrowed even more money than the 2 grand from a few years ago. When we were paying for parking, my sister takes a $20 out of the car’s cup holder and paid “her share” with it, but that was actually my brother’s $20. > [@C3](#): > > You should stop lending people money. If you want to give someone something, give generously and without strings. Until you’re able to do that, tell your siblings you can’t give them anything else. But…but… **stovel** just said…! :mad: I thought that made me a self-important scumbag if I “kvetch about money” like that! > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Exactly. How much would you care that your sister and brother-in-law didn’t buy you a single drink during the whole cruise (knowing you make five times what they make) if they didn’t owe you money? It’s not about buying _me_ drinks. It’s about buying my father drinks in honor of his birthday. In other news, the furlough obviously never happened and I got a check in the mail today from my brother for the exact money he owed me, so we’re free and clear. He’s usually good like that, so it’s nice that his reputation is still intact. Hey, what do you guys think…should I lend $10,000 to my mom for her credit card bills? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![mske](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ccd318/32.png) [@mske](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mske)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-the-bahamas/573159/45 "2011-04-21T16:17:08Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > It’s not about buying _me_ drinks. It’s about buying my father drinks in honor of his birthday. If you wanted your sister and brother-in-law to buy drinks for your dad in honour of his birthday, then have the festivities at the local bar instead of asking people whom you know are not as financially well off as you to spend all the money they have on some expensive venture. It boggles the mind that you don’t see that this trip put them in a highly uncomfortable and unwinnable situation, and you are bitching that your full pockets aren’t overflowing. My sister probably makes five times what I do. She’s a partner at a large law firm. I’m some mid-level accountant-type guy. She is single. I have a wife and four kids. For my mother’s 70th birthday last year, we talked and came up with something that worked. My parents and sister came to where I live for the day and they, as well as my mother-in-law, wife and kids, all came out to lunch at a decent local restaurant. I covered that tab. I’m sure my sister could have come up with something else more extravagant at a fancy, high-end place, but she knew that would have been too much of a burden on my finances. Instead, in addition, she took my mother and a few of her close friends to a show and covered that on her dime. She spent way more than I did, but no one complained. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-the-bahamas/573159/46 "2011-04-21T16:29:51Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > But…but… **stovel** just said…! :mad: I thought that made me a self-important scumbag if I “kvetch about money” like that! Look you can choose to give them money or not. If you choose to give them money, then give them money and shut up about it. Don’t give them money and then hold it over their heads like they’re such assholes that they “made” you do it. You chose to do it for your own reasons. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-the-bahamas/573159/47 "2011-04-21T16:31:28Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > \ > It’s not about buying _me_ drinks. It’s about buying my father drinks in honor of his birthday. > \ That’s really none of your business - that’s between your sister and your father. > [@](#): > > Hey, what do you guys think…should I lend $10,000 to my mom for her credit card bills? 😛 Go for it! There’s no way _that_ could go badly…🙂 I can understand your frustration at being told contradictory things here; getting family and money involved is always a complicated, dangerous game to play. Just watch Judge Judy if you don’t believe me - it’s almost always family members or ex-lovers suing each other for money. “I want my $2000 back!” “It was a gift!” ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-the-bahamas/573159/48 "2011-04-21T19:43:20Z")
> [@mske](#): > > If you wanted your sister and brother-in-law to buy drinks for your dad in honour of his birthday, then have the festivities at the local bar instead of asking people whom you know are not as financially well off as you to spend all the money they have on some expensive venture. 1. My brother-in-law didn’t go. It was my brother and sister. Rereading all my posts from this thread (almost two months old), I see I never actually said that the BIL never made it. I see that’s caused some confusion. 2. It wasn’t my idea. I never asked anyone to go anywhere. I was told where we were going and then it was up to everyone else to make it or not. If _any_ of us made it, it was a bonus, not a requirement. I mean, my mother turns 50 in a few months…you know what we’re doing for her? Nothing. Maybe a phone call. That’s it. So please, everybody quit acting like a owed it to anybody to make sure everyone showed up on the cruise. It’s not my duty to make sure everyone’s saved their paychecks so they can celebrate a birthday. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-the-bahamas/573159/49 "2011-04-21T22:37:29Z")
But I thought it was? After all, since you’re their “better”, they’re supposed to say “how high?” when you say “jump”. Or does that only apply when YOU try to stiff someone? ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-the-bahamas/573159/50 "2012-01-25T23:35:15Z")
After reading this thread, IMHO asking for advice (from the SDMB) on a subject such as this, isn’t advisable. ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-the-bahamas/573159/51 "2012-01-26T00:14:54Z")
> [@JBDivmstr](#): > > After reading this thread, IMHO asking for advice (from the SDMB) on a subject such as this, isn’t advisable. Once again, a stitch in time saves nine! ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-the-bahamas/573159/52 "2012-01-26T00:16:53Z")
You had to bump up a year old thread just to add this? ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-the-bahamas/573159/53 "2012-01-26T00:35:47Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > You had to bump up a year old thread just to add this? Those were my words, exactly ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-the-bahamas/573159/54 "2012-01-26T02:28:53Z")
Say, whatever happened to **Chessic Sense**? He ever make it back from the Bahamas? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-the-bahamas/573159/55 "2012-01-26T03:04:27Z")
> [@JBDivmstr](#): > > After reading this thread, IMHO asking for advice (from the SDMB) on a subject such as this, isn’t advisable. I think you got the wrong [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=639687). ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-the-bahamas/573159/56 "2012-01-26T06:13:48Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > You had to bump up a year old thread just to add this? :smack: Sorry about that, didn’t notice that it was so old. I’ve really got to start checking the dates on threads before I think about posting. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-the-bahamas/573159/57 "2012-01-26T16:05:15Z")
How the hell did you find it _without_ noticing how old it was? ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-the-bahamas/573159/58 "2012-01-26T17:48:01Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > How the hell did you find it _without_ noticing how old it was? There was a link to it in this [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14705546&postcount=7). Didn’t notice that Chessic had linked to a much older thread. :smack: I’ll try not to make _ **that** _ mistake, again. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-the-bahamas/573159/59 "2012-01-27T02:24:03Z")
So, Chessic. Did your siblings all make it to the Bahamas? (I’ve got some very insightful comments that pertain to this. I’m going to bookmark this and post them… in 2014) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-the-bahamas/573159.md?page=2)