# I'm going to watch all of the James Bond Films \[Please avoid Spoilers for Goldeneye or later Bond movies\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [December 17, 2019, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001 "2019-12-17T18:58:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2022, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001/282 "2022-12-15T17:15:57Z")
May I ask that we refrain from jumping ahead in the series? ---
**Author:** ![veryfrank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/87869e/32.png) [@veryfrank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/veryfrank)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2022, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001/283 "2022-12-15T17:19:33Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > It has some great moments, such as with David Niven. It has some really bad moments too, sadly, such as Woody Allen. Four different directors all working separately and simultaneously, and then their incomplete results banged together into one flick…how could it go wrong? I will say that while Allen’s scenes by and large aren’t great, the gag with the gong made me fall off the sofa I was laughing so hard. But then I’m a sucker for well-timed stupid physical comedy. ---
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2022, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001/284 "2022-12-15T17:32:08Z")
Yep sorry about that ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2022, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001/285 "2022-12-15T18:58:06Z")
Thanks. I realize I’m going very slowly with this; please indulge me. (It _is_ my thread, after all. 😁) ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2022, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001/286 "2022-12-16T10:52:02Z")
WATCH FASTER [![](https://www.commonsensemedia.org/sites/default/files/styles/ratio_16_9_large/public/screenshots/csm-movie/clockwork-3.jpg) ](https://www.commonsensemedia.org/sites/default/files/styles/ratio_16_9_large/public/screenshots/csm-movie/clockwork-3.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![WhyKickAMooCow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc29f/32.png) [@WhyKickAMooCow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyKickAMooCow)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2022, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001/287 "2022-12-16T11:57:09Z")
On the topic of alternate Bond themes (yes I know I’m 6 months late) have you heard the Alice Cooper version of The Man With The Golden Gun? [Alice Cooper - Man With The Golden Gun - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzTzXwqYOGY) ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2022, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001/288 "2022-12-19T16:43:41Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > WATCH FASTER 😆 I know, I know. I think I explained this before, but the wife used to travel a lot for work. This 007 project was supposed to be something for me to do while she was gone. Then came COVID, and she’s not on the road nearly so much. We watch TV together in the evenings, and she has zero interest in watching James Bond movies. So… ---
**Author:** ![Pavelb1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Pavelb1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pavelb1)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2023, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001/289 "2023-03-13T02:03:38Z")
Finally finishing Goldfinger. Gorgeous looking film, ingenious plot. My only complaint is the infamous Pussy Galore (heh) scene. But not because James Bond is a murderous, lecherous rapist who gets anyone near him killed. \* Because its beyond silly she was persuaded by James charm and magic lips. I know, I know thats supposedly the kind of films these are. Well, they could have had it both ways. Make it work by him appealing to her sensibilities. He’s going to kill 60,000 people. He’s betrayed everyone who helped him. Besides, she’s not Maryam D’Abo. She doesn’t particularly look or act like a typical Bond girl. So they shouldn’t treat her like one \*Someone, maybe Cracked, said the only real mystery of a Bond film is will the side characters make it to the end of the film. He gets both Masterson girls killed. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2023, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001/290 "2023-03-13T03:45:16Z")
I was in Miami Beach a few months ago and stayed at the hotel where Bond caught Goldfinger cheating at gin. Nice joint. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2023, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001/291 "2023-03-13T06:29:40Z")
The best thing about Goldfinger is that you have a villain so egomaniacal, he builds a whole room with a scale model of Ft. Knox just so he can lay out his plan to impress a bunch of mobsters he’s going to kill right after the presentation. > [@Pavelb1](#): > > She doesn’t particularly look or act like a typical Bond girl. So they shouldn’t treat her like one Well, that was the point. She was all butch until James seduced her into being a proper Bond girl. It’s all kinds of messed up, but it does a wonderful job making the film a parody of itself and I think that’s most of the appeal to modern viewers. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2023, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001/292 "2023-03-13T07:33:05Z")
There’s a problem with Goldfinger’s plan, but I didn’t notice it until I’d seen the movie several times. Goldfinger doesn’t love gold because of the things he can buy with it, he loves gold simply for its own sake. It says so right in the theme song. He tells Bond that he loves its brilliance, and its divine heaviness. He welcomes any enterprise that will increase his stock, which is considerable. All that’s going to do is drive up the price of gold. Operation Grand slam won’t bring Goldfinger any more gold than he already has. In fact, by reducing the available supply, it will become just that much harder for him to acquire any more gold. And there are two car-carrying airplanes leaving from the same airport in England, heading to Geneva, only 30 minutes apart. Very poor scheduling by the airline. There’s a lot you can pick apart about this movie, but it’s just dripping with style. ---
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2023, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001/293 "2023-03-13T08:26:53Z")
Before Bond realises that Goldfinger is going to blow up Fort Knox, he thinks he is going to try and rob it. He explains how ridiculous this is to Goldfinger, what with the thousands of men, trains etc that he would need, before it dawns on him that Goldfinger never intends to move the gold. The funny thing is, in Fleming’s original novel, Goldfinger does indeed intend to load all the gold onto trains and make away with it. You’d like to think the producers and/or screenplay writer were pointing out the absurdity of the plan, in a good natured way. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2023, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001/294 "2023-03-13T12:19:22Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Operation Grand slam won’t bring Goldfinger any more gold than he already has. True, but now he can buy all the lasers and scale models of Fort Knox that he wants and it will cost him a much smaller amount of his precious gold, allowing him to keep more of it. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2023, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001/295 "2023-03-13T13:06:51Z")
At that, he enjoys the occasional mint julep; sure, the song says He Loves Only Gold, but it’s clear that He Also Likes Mint Juleps. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2023, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001/296 "2023-03-13T13:33:36Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > it does a wonderful job making the film a parody of itself That’s really the base level problem with the film. It’s only the third Bond film, and it already plays more like some cut rate Matt Helm movie. There’s nothing in the plot that makes a lick of sense! ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2023, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001/297 "2023-03-13T14:27:04Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > It’s only the third Bond film, and it already plays more like some cut rate Matt Helm movie. There’s nothing in the plot that makes a lick of sense! To be fair, _Dr. No_ was ridiculous and made no sense either! (A mechanical dragon? Keeping Bond prisoner instead of just killing him? An insanely unsafe nuclear reactor that doesn’t even have a lid?) ---
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2023, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001/298 "2023-03-13T14:37:56Z")
None of that beats death-by-guano from the novel! ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2023, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001/299 "2023-03-13T15:06:40Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > It’s only the third Bond film, and it already plays more like some cut rate Matt Helm movie. If _Goldfinger_ had played it straight, it probably would have been the last Bond film. As noted somewhere just above, the screenwriters knew their source material was preposterous, and they decided to have fun with it, instead of trying to make it at all believable. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2023, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001/300 "2023-03-13T16:07:37Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > and they decided to have fun with it, instead of trying to make it at all believable. Just commenting: It’s not the “I’m not stealing the gold” plot, it’s the rest. The CIA puts a tracker on Bond, and then ignores it when he’s actually in trouble. Wink-wink-nudge-nudge he’ll call us if he needs us. They could have stopped the plan right there if they’d done their job. The gassing of the Ft Knox military is laughable. Gas doesn’t fall that fast, guys don’t drop dead in formation. And how’d they get word to everyone on base that fast? And you know some joker isn’t going to play along. And besides, once the titular character is there, arrest him! Stop farting around and letting him arm his nuke. “It might not be here”. Ok, but capture him and make him talk. The less talk of skin suffocation the better. Are you sure this was the 1960s and not the 1360s? 🙂 Austin Powers was at least a funny parody. “Nobody throws a shoe!” ---
**Author:** ![ZonexandScout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zonexandscout/32/544_2.png) [@ZonexandScout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZonexandScout)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2023, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001/301 "2023-03-13T16:38:27Z")
To be fair, the “mechanical dragon” as described in the novel was meant to keep superstitious locals from coming to the island. It did have a purpose. As for all the other ridiculous elements of the movie…ya got me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-going-to-watch-all-of-the-james-bond-films-please-avoid-spoilers-for-goldeneye-or-later-bond-movies/845001.md?page=16)