# I'm Gonna Be On th' Television! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 12, 2000, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-on-th-television/13392 "2000-01-12T17:56:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-on-th-television/13392/1 "2000-01-12T17:56:00Z")
Fire up the VCRs, folks! I’m being interviewed on a PBS special on Feb. 2 at 9:00 P.M. EST, so you can all make fun of me the next day. They filmed it in a nightclub, with so much atmospheric fake “smoke” in the background that it looked like I was in the Triangle Shirtwaist factory. For more info: [http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/cultureshock/beyond/hollywood.html](http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/cultureshock/beyond/hollywood.html) ---
**Author:** ![Frankie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/258eb7/32.png) [@Frankie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frankie)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2000, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-on-th-television/13392/2 "2000-01-13T06:04:00Z")
Eve- What I want to know is why are you referred to as a biographer instead of a historian. You know about all that stuff too, I’ve heard you expund on all that stuff right here! ## Congrats and on my favorite channel too! -Frankie Lack of charisma can be fatal ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2000, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-on-th-television/13392/3 "2000-01-13T06:04:00Z")
cool! I’ll try to remember to watch. Remind us as the time gets closer. Is this you: “Eve Golden, Jean Harlow biographer”? ---
**Author:** ![Cap\_n\_Crude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Cap\_n\_Crude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cap_n_Crude)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2000, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-on-th-television/13392/4 "2000-01-13T06:18:00Z")
Ah, an event for the ages! I hope you weren’t gagging on that smoke too terribly, Eve. Congrats on getting yer face filmed and broadcast – couldn’t have happened to a nicer Doper. * * * –Da Cap’n “Playin’ solitaire 'til dawn With a deck of fifty-one.” ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2000, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-on-th-television/13392/5 "2000-01-13T06:29:00Z")
Eve, that’s great! I hope you didn’t eat spinach just before. What outfit did you wear? Were you able to, y’know, just casually hold up the jacket of your forthcoming book and wave it at the camera? ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2000, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-on-th-television/13392/6 "2000-01-13T06:53:00Z")
I’m sure I’m going to look HORRIBLE. They went with “dramatic” lighting, which means I will look like “a 500-year-old dead Indian dwarf,” to quote Jennifer Saunders. They also insisted I wear a “cocktail dress,” rather than the authorly sweater & pearls I wanted to. At least it’s not too hotsy-totsy, but still . . . Jeez, ya expect more professionalism from WGBH. Anyhoo, I’ll bring this thread back up before the show for anyone who wants to tune in. Ike, you and Sax will want to watch the night they do the segment on 1920s jazz! ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-on-th-television/13392/7 "2000-01-12T19:04:00Z")
Ike, Sax, want to watch the '20s jazz segment at my place? I’ll make some munchies and we can enter nerdvana together. Way to go, Eve! Can’t wait to see what you look like. * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-on-th-television/13392/8 "2000-01-12T19:06:00Z")
Wheeeee! “The Devil’s Music,” indeed! Crank up the Frankie Teschemacher records, baby, time to cut a rug! Chef, uh, what did you mean by “nerdvana” ? [eyebrow up] * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-on-th-television/13392/9 "2000-01-12T19:09:00Z")
Good luck Eve! I hope you don’t end up on the cutting room floor. But if they mention you on the web page, I’d say it’s a good bet you’re in. In the interview, did you do a hair flip and laugh fetchingly? That always seems to go over well with viewers. Also bonus points if you used the phrase “Hollywood vixen.” ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-on-th-television/13392/10 "2000-01-12T19:29:00Z")
“Fire up your VCRs”? I don’t know – I only have one tape left and I was reserving that for the rerun of “Kiss Her Goodbye”. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-on-th-television/13392/11 "2000-01-12T19:46:00Z")
Well, Finagle, what could be better than a double feature of “Kiss Her Goodbye” and “Eve Golden—Hollywood Vixen?” Cuttin’ rugs are you, now, Ike? I recall when Mel and I tried to get you New York guys to join us swing-dancing last summer, you all boyishly dug your toes into the dirt and made noises about “not wantin’ to dance, ma’am” . . . ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-on-th-television/13392/12 "2000-01-12T19:50:00Z")
> [@](#): > > “She slept > her way to the top, she was into S&M; there’s a > very naughty scene where he starts beating her, > and she just loves it,” comments Eve i thought that was gonna be our little secret. Congrats, Eve, way to go! I’m sure you’ll look divine. * * * so you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts. what’s so amazing about really deep thoughts? Tori Amos ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-on-th-television/13392/13 "2000-01-12T20:00:00Z")
That’s because we knew that you and Melanie would dance together, and then Alphagene and manhattan and I could sit back and sneak glances at your ankles. ---
**Author:** ![SaxFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SaxFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaxFace)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-on-th-television/13392/14 "2000-01-12T20:04:00Z")
Gee, Eve, I’m so excited!! I wish I had a VCR. Chef - I think I will go to your house for Nerdvana - ha ha ha! Will someone tape this for me and send it to me? I’ll pay for the tape and shipping costs. I need to keep reminding my lame-o friends that I do indeed know people in high places. Also, Eve, thanks for adding an extremely hilarious and clever autograph to my copy of your excellent book _Vamp_. (How’s that for a shameless plug? But seriously, the book rocks) * * * Formerly unknown as “Melanie” ---
**Author:** ![Frankie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/258eb7/32.png) [@Frankie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frankie)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-on-th-television/13392/15 "2000-01-12T20:16:00Z")
So Eve- When you become a big TV Star are you gonna stop talking to all of us little people?? * * * -Frankie Lack of charisma can be fatal ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-on-th-television/13392/16 "2000-01-12T20:20:00Z")
Of course not, Frankie, dearest—who do you think is gonna buy my books? OK; Ike, Manny, Alpha, Cap’n, CM, et al—Mel and I are officially inviting you out swing-dancing at Lincoln Center this summer. That gives you five months to think up excuses. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-on-th-television/13392/17 "2000-01-12T20:22:00Z")
If so, I want you to know that I haven’t been a little person since seventh grade. _indicates Chefly bod, which is unquestionably not little_ And Ike, most of my musically challenged friends think my interest in jazz is a little nerdy, and I’ve taken to wearing it as a badge of merit. Didn’t mean to offend. * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-on-th-television/13392/18 "2000-01-12T20:27:00Z")
I have to work late that night, **Eve**. Way cool about the TV thing, tho. Glad to see my $250 buys something better than the tote bag and Britcom reruns. * * * I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids! ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-on-th-television/13392/19 "2000-01-12T20:29:00Z")
That night, of course, referring to the dancing, not the show. I have to work late then, too, but I’ll tape it (and send a copy to you, **Sax** ). ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-on-th-television/13392/20 "2000-01-12T20:31:00Z")
Chef: No offense taken. But take a peep over in the Pit…us jazz-lovers are actually insufferable elitists and patronizing snobs. So get your nose in the air and set those friends of yours straight! You ain’t no nerd! Eve: My foot kinda hurts when I do THIS with it…[jiggles foot at an awkward angle, waiting for the punch-line] [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-on-th-television/13392.md?page=2)