# I'm Gonna Be Rich! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 31, 2003, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-rich/221966 "2003-12-31T17:26:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-rich/221966/1 "2003-12-31T17:26:11Z")
OK, not really. I just got my first copy of the Nigerian letter! I have had e-mail for years, but this morning, my first one - > [@](#): > > l am Dr. Ngozi Ugo.A member of the contract award committee, federal ministry of petroleum resources, Nigeria > I am in search of an agent to assist us in the > transfer of (USD 25m) and subsequent investment in > properties in your country. > you will be required to > (1) Assist in the transfer of the said sum > (2) Advise on lucrative areas for investment > (3) Assist us in purchase of properties. > If you decide to render your service to us in this > regard, 20% of the total sum of USD25m will be for > you. > yours faithfully, > Dr. Ngozi Ugo. Imagine how thrilled I am. Five million, all for my very own. What a way to start the New Year! So, what I need are suggestions on how to spend the money. Any takers? Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-rich/221966/2 "2003-12-31T17:35:08Z")
Dang! I thought you were going to tell us you won the 150 million Mega Millions. I was going to gently remind you that I’m your long lost…um…relative and ask you to share.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-rich/221966/3 "2003-12-31T18:11:21Z")
Join the club. I received a similar offer last month from some gentlemen in Zimbabwe. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-rich/221966/4 "2003-12-31T18:16:21Z")
Damn. All I ever get is offers to show me the p4r!s h!lt0n v!de0. Hello, do you not realize that by sending your spam to a **[gay.com](http://gay.com)** email address you’re in all likelihood wasting your time? I know, spammers don’t care, but damn if that address isn’t the only one where I get that particular spam ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-rich/221966/5 "2003-12-31T18:46:08Z")
Well, I was considering spending some of the money on all the penis-enlargement offers I keep getting, but - how much do they want for the Paris Hilton video? Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-rich/221966/6 "2003-12-31T19:23:27Z")
That Loser! I can’t believe that he offered you the same deal he offered me! Hmmmph! Well, fine then, he can bloody well keep his money in his own country. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-rich/221966/7 "2003-12-31T19:31:44Z")
I’d suggest you spend at least some of the money on some extremely clever scheme designed to get even with spammers. I would propose such a scheme, but, unfortunately, I’m not that clever:) ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-rich/221966/8 "2003-12-31T20:01:35Z")
> [@](#): > > . . . transfer of (USD 25m) . . . You guys are going bonkers over 25 _milli_dollars? Dudes, that’s like, two and a half cents! 😃 Tripler Aw hell, f\*ck around with the guy. Send him your two cents. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-rich/221966/9 "2003-12-31T20:12:36Z")
> [@](#): > > how much do they want for the Paris Hilton video? Send me your email address and I’ll pass it along to them. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-rich/221966/10 "2003-12-31T20:51:22Z")
Allowing myself to introduce my self. I a Tapioca Dextrin. I am a freelance ontrapaneer and I am in the building of things business. I have [many famous monuments](http://www.unmuseum.org/wonders.htm) to my name.For _just_ a 20% fee of the monies you are going to be getting, I can arrange to offer you a valuable stake in my latest scheme to re-build this great [egyptian monument](http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/pyramid/) in your **home** town!!!Satisfaction garanteed You will be more rich than you are now _!!!_ Please send the c ash and all of your banking detials and yuor SSN and yours driving lisense , in advance to me at my personal oofice \ Tapioca Dextrin PO BOX 1-98-9 Bumfuck TR 99899 [EMAIL=some spam address]To uscribe from my list ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-rich/221966/11 "2003-12-31T21:02:25Z")
Heh. I just got a new one - from Holland. At least the grammar and spelling are correct in this one. > [@](#): > > Dear Friend. > I am Kelvin Winter. A British citizen resident in Amsterdam-Holland. I am the personal attorney to MR. PHILIP HOR, a national of your country, who lived in Amsterdam. On the 21st of April 2003, my client was involved in a car accident on the outskirts of the city. All occupants of the vehicle,including his immediate family, unfortunately lost their lives. I have contacted you to assist in repatriating his property and some money totaling 7.497,773.90 million dollars,equivalent to $7.5m. left behind before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable by the Finance Company where this huge deposits were lodged. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-rich/221966/12 "2003-12-31T21:29:38Z")
Pah. That Amsterdam guy’s only gonna let you funnel seven-and-a-half million dollars through your bank account. The Ngozi Ugo guy in the OP is going to let you funnel **twenty-five** milliopn dollaras through your bank account! Tell the Amsterdam guy to either up his bid or take a hike. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-rich/221966/13 "2003-12-31T21:30:58Z")
(dollaras? uh oh … sounds like a scam) ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-rich/221966/14 "2003-12-31T22:03:27Z")
Do I hear $30M? … … … Going once… Going twice… ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-rich/221966/15 "2003-12-31T23:42:35Z")
WOW I’ve never even heard of e-mails like this! You learn something new every day. ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-be-rich/221966/16 "2004-01-01T02:38:07Z")
I have NEVER recieved a Nigerian scam letter. I’m jealous! I want to know how to be rich too!