# I'm Gonna Start Being Nicer To People **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 1, 2010, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-start-being-nicer-to-people/555710 "2010-10-01T12:39:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-start-being-nicer-to-people/555710/1 "2010-10-01T12:39:49Z")
I’m gonna be nicer to people IRL and on the Dope. My flagrant assholishness has gotten out of hand. Seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Waxwinged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c2a13f/32.png) [@Waxwinged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waxwinged)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-start-being-nicer-to-people/555710/2 "2010-10-01T12:42:12Z")
Good luck with that. From personal observations, once a cynic/asshole, always a cynic/asshole. Though one does wish otherwise, sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-start-being-nicer-to-people/555710/3 "2010-10-01T12:49:17Z")
> [@Waxwinged](#): > > Good luck with that. From personal observations, once a cynic/asshole, always a cynic/asshole. Though one does wish otherwise, sometimes. I think my main problem is that I’m far too stubborn and opinionated, which leads me to be labeled an asshole rather often. My new goal on SDMB is to be as well-loved as **aclockworkmelon**. As you can see, I have no life. ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-start-being-nicer-to-people/555710/4 "2010-10-01T13:09:16Z")
Maybe you should change your name to Heartwarming or something. Kidney failure is kind of a downer. ---
**Author:** ![Waxwinged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c2a13f/32.png) [@Waxwinged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waxwinged)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-start-being-nicer-to-people/555710/5 "2010-10-01T13:36:40Z")
> [@kidneyfailure](#): > > As you can see, I have no life. Who needs ones’ own life, when one can be stubborn and opinionated about lives of others? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![palindromemordnilap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@palindromemordnilap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palindromemordnilap)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-start-being-nicer-to-people/555710/6 "2010-10-01T14:29:29Z")
I had to train myself not to be quite as obnoxious online. I banned myself from political messsage boards, and I pretty much stay out of Great Debates here. I also taught myself not to send emails that have an angry or sarcastic tone, and to moderate the tone of my posts. I sometimes write an email or post and then delete it without sending it. But IRL I’m very diplomatic and generally amiable. Actually it’s more like I’m inscrutable–I tend not to let my face reveal negative emotions. In general this is a much easier way to get through life. People I don’t like don’t realize it, unless it suits my purpose to let them know. When I do express anger or disappointment, the people I know take it pretty seriously. I’ve heard variations on this sentence many times: “Gee, if Pal thinks I’m out of line, maybe I am.” See, it’s really about getting what you want. “Stubborn and opinionated” doesn’t win friends and influence people. “Confident and knowledgable” does. Hope this helps. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-start-being-nicer-to-people/555710/7 "2010-10-01T15:00:31Z")
It will be far easier in life to simply be yourself. But then this isn’t real life is it? So be whatever you want to be. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-start-being-nicer-to-people/555710/8 "2010-10-01T16:09:07Z")
> [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](#): > > Maybe you should change your name to Heartwarming or something. Kidney failure is kind of a downer. “kidneysuccess?” ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-start-being-nicer-to-people/555710/9 "2010-10-01T16:20:04Z")
Isn’t it funny how something like that can get out of hand, it comes on so gradual you often don’t notice. I recall I worked in a factory and they were horrible gossips there. I found myself joining in a little at a time, then one day, I stepped back and said “Mark you gotta stop this, it is just wrong to gossip and rumour mill like this.” But it kinda sneaks up on you don’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-start-being-nicer-to-people/555710/10 "2010-10-01T16:41:32Z")
Speaking as a reformed asshole (mostly), it takes some time and practice, but you’ll end up appreciating how much happier YOU are when you’re able to treat others more nicely. Treating others with more kindness begins with how you think about them. Now, sure, I still think jerkish things about other people, but a little mental exercise I’ve found really effective is to immediately think something nice about them right after I have one of those cynical asshole thoughts about them. Some people are so … unlikeable that it’s tough, but it can be something as simple as, “she has nice hands” or “I like his tie.” Just correcting for the positive makes it more habitual to seek out what you like about a person first. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-start-being-nicer-to-people/555710/11 "2010-10-01T17:02:57Z")
> [@kidneyfailure](#): > > My new goal on SDMB is to be as well-loved as **aclockworkmelon**. Wow. You’re aiming low. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-start-being-nicer-to-people/555710/12 "2010-10-01T17:09:26Z")
I’m much more pleasant here than I am in real life. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-start-being-nicer-to-people/555710/13 "2010-10-01T17:11:19Z")
Eh. I already like you better than ACM. So there. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-start-being-nicer-to-people/555710/14 "2010-10-01T17:15:58Z")
No, this won’t do. Message boards are like fragile ecosystems – too much disruption can have unintended consequences. To preserve the delicate balance of this one, I will thus adapt to the OP by being much more assholish than usual. Some people may doubt me, may question my ability to maintain a higher asshole to non-asshole posting ratio. To those people I say: Fuck you. Fuck you in your fat stupid faces. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-start-being-nicer-to-people/555710/15 "2010-10-01T17:18:20Z")
> [@kidneyfailure](#): > > My new goal on SDMB is to be as well-loved as **aclockworkmelon**. Please, **liverdamage** , do not strive for this. Please. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-start-being-nicer-to-people/555710/16 "2010-10-01T19:02:16Z")
> [@kidneyfailure](#): > > I’m gonna be nicer to people IRL and on the Dope. My flagrant assholishness has gotten out of hand. Seriously. What? Why? What did those dickheads ever do for you? Nuthin’, that’s what. Fuck 'em. They deserve your assholishness. Continue pissing on seats in public toilets, parking in handicapped spaces, and walking around in the summertime saying ‘How about this heat.’. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-start-being-nicer-to-people/555710/17 "2010-10-01T19:07:42Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > > [@kidneyfailure](#): > > > > I’m gonna be nicer to people IRL and on the Dope. My flagrant assholishness has gotten out of hand. Seriously. > > What? Why? What did those dickheads ever do for you? Nuthin’, that’s what. Fuck 'em. They deserve your assholishness. Continue pissing on seats in public toilets, parking in handicapped spaces, and walking around in the summertime saying ‘How about this heat.’. _Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces- while handicapped people make handicapped faces._ ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Doctor\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Who)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-start-being-nicer-to-people/555710/18 "2010-10-01T19:09:12Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > > [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](#): > > > > Maybe you should change your name to Heartwarming or something. Kidney failure is kind of a downer. > > “kidneysuccess?” :::rimshot::: I laughed. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-start-being-nicer-to-people/555710/19 "2010-10-01T19:20:19Z")
> [@kidneyfailure](#): > > I’m gonna be nicer to people IRL and on the Dope. My flagrant assholishness has gotten out of hand. Seriously. So you’re going to quit being an asshole? I’m not sure which is worse. Being an asshole or being a quitter > [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > [@kidneyfailure](#): > > > > My new goal on SDMB is to be as well-loved as **aclockworkmelon**. > > Wow. You’re aiming low. No kidding. I’m still glad I threw that $15 in the trash instead of sponsering you. [McBain]That’s the joke.[/McBain] ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2010, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-start-being-nicer-to-people/555710/20 "2010-10-01T20:09:56Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > It will be far easier in life to simply be yourself. But then this isn’t real life is it? So be whatever you want to be. Ever hear of “fake it till you make it”? Why not be the guy you want to be? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-gonna-start-being-nicer-to-people/555710.md?page=2)