# I'm heading back to the Universal Library. Put in your orders now! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 8, 2011, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-heading-back-to-the-universal-library-put-in-your-orders-now/577694 "2011-04-08T18:07:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-heading-back-to-the-universal-library-put-in-your-orders-now/577694/1 "2011-04-08T18:07:21Z")
As explained in previous threads I am too lazy to look up, my lending privileges at the Universal Library were briefly suspended while my alleged role in the arson of the Piers Anthony wing was probed. Happily, that investigation (long stalled because of the series of mysterious eviscerations, deaths-by-stampede, and scaphisms befalling the agents involved) has been cancelled, and my card is once again accepted. And just in time! The ninth season of _Firefly_ has just been released, and I’ve been dying to know how the Kaylee-Inara-River love triangle resolved itself after the eighth season cliffhanger. (Not to mention that thing with Zoe & the Reavers.) And of course Professor Tolkien has finally finished both the prose and verse versions of _The Fall of Gondolin_, so I’ll be picking up those too. Anybody else want anything? ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-heading-back-to-the-universal-library-put-in-your-orders-now/577694/2 "2011-04-08T18:24:08Z")
I’d really like a copy of the unabridged version of _The Princess Bride_. But don’t leave just yet, I’m still deciding on a couple of others. ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-heading-back-to-the-universal-library-put-in-your-orders-now/577694/3 "2011-04-08T18:40:21Z")
Pick up a complete copy of _Hornblower During the Crisis_ would you please? I mislaid my finished copy several years ago (or DID I?) and I’ve had to do with this timeline’s version where CS Forester had the gall to die before he finished. Oh, and the 1958 Brando-Dean-Newman version of _The Three Musketeers_. DVD is fine, VHS if all the DVDs are checked out, since demand for that item is fierce. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-heading-back-to-the-universal-library-put-in-your-orders-now/577694/4 "2011-04-08T18:42:58Z")
1. The missing Cowboy Mouth album. Don’t let Fred LeBlanc sweat on you. I’ve had it happen. It’s not pleasant. 2. Season’s 2-5 of The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. 3. Heinlein’s follow up to To Sail Beyond the Sunset where Gramp Johnson finally put some order to WWS’s life and saves the universe. ---
**Author:** ![Bytegeist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@Bytegeist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bytegeist)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-heading-back-to-the-universal-library-put-in-your-orders-now/577694/5 "2011-04-08T18:45:24Z")
At first I thought you meant [this kind](http://jubal.westnet.com/hyperdiscordia/universal_library.html) of Universal Library. (An imaginary collection of all possible books that can be printed.) And I was going to ask you to find the version of Moby Dick that pits Ahab against a giant white _weasel_ — but I guess I have to keep looking. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-heading-back-to-the-universal-library-put-in-your-orders-now/577694/6 "2011-04-08T18:47:02Z")
Season 5 of _Soap_, the season 1.5 two-hour special of _The IT Crowd_ explaining the aftermath of the season one finale, and seasons 6-24 of _Quantum Leap_. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-heading-back-to-the-universal-library-put-in-your-orders-now/577694/7 "2011-04-08T18:50:55Z")
> [@Bytegeist](#): > > At first I thought you meant [this kind](http://jubal.westnet.com/hyperdiscordia/universal_library.html) of Universal Library. (An imaginary collection of all possible books that can be printed.) There’s no way to find anything in that sort of library. Also it has no BluRays. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-heading-back-to-the-universal-library-put-in-your-orders-now/577694/8 "2011-04-08T18:51:26Z")
Actually I would like Tolkien’s followup to the Lord of the Rings about the 4th age. I would like to see seasons 3-5 of Pushing Daisies. The 10 juveniles that Heinlein never wrote due to idiots pissing him off and ending that part of his career. Just work with me here, somewhere this must have happened. The 5th and 6th seasons of WKRP in Cincinnati of course. I know in every plane of existence but this one the show was not canceled and they did two more years with a nice bit of closure. (And yes, I am ignore the terrible, terrible followup that did happen here.) ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-heading-back-to-the-universal-library-put-in-your-orders-now/577694/9 "2011-04-08T18:58:48Z")
I would like the DVD set of the Star Trek: DS9 _Unity_ trilogy of movies, please. Yes, the third movie too. I know a lot of people say _Unity: A Child Long Awaited_ is the worst of the three, but I think it really strikes the right tone in wrapping up both the events of the series and the trilogy. Especially after the soul shattering climax of the second movie, _Unity: The Parasites and the Prophets_. And of course, _Unity: Bajor_ is just classic Trek moviemaking. One of Avery Brooks’ finest performances. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-heading-back-to-the-universal-library-put-in-your-orders-now/577694/10 "2011-04-08T18:59:43Z")
My needs are slight: I wouldn’t mind copies of the last three volumes of Stasheff’s _Starship Troupers_ series. For that matter the last two volumes of Pournelle’s _Jannissaries_ series would be nice as well. I hesitate to mantion my last request, but if you can convince the librarians to let you into the restricted area, I’d love a copy of the blooper reel from _Firefly_, Season Eight. You know, the one that has the outtakes from the triangle, where they really got Method. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-heading-back-to-the-universal-library-put-in-your-orders-now/577694/11 "2011-04-08T19:00:13Z")
I still think season four of Firefly (The Auspicious Year story arc, with the crew having good luck arranged for them for once) was their best work, and the episode where we finally meet Jayne’s mother after all that build-up is the high point of that season. I still don’t know how they got Linda Hunt for the recurring role, but by the time in Season 5 they revealed that she was also the “Queen of the Reavers” it had gotten a little silly. ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-heading-back-to-the-universal-library-put-in-your-orders-now/577694/12 "2011-04-08T19:01:44Z")
Hmmmmmmmmm… Method. I’ll be in my bunk. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-heading-back-to-the-universal-library-put-in-your-orders-now/577694/13 "2011-04-08T19:04:18Z")
JRRT’s finished work on Tuor and the fall of Gondolin, along with his finished work on the Voyages of Eärendil. The Last Dangerous Visions, edited by Ellison. ---
**Author:** ![chronoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c37758/32.png) [@chronoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chronoso)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-heading-back-to-the-universal-library-put-in-your-orders-now/577694/14 "2011-04-08T19:15:30Z")
I’d like a copy of the collected works of Abdul Alhazred, if they have it. I know it’s hard to come by, it might not even be that library. If they _do_ have it, the ebook format would be the most useful. I know it comes in some strange bindings, so I’d like to avoid those. Sorry for being picky, but I’ve heard horror stories… ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-heading-back-to-the-universal-library-put-in-your-orders-now/577694/15 "2011-04-08T20:10:01Z")
> [@chronoso](#): > > I’d like a copy of the collected works of Abdul Alhazred, if they have it. I know it’s hard to come by, it might not even be that library. > > If they _do_ have it, the ebook format would be the most useful. I know it comes in some strange bindings, so I’d like to avoid those. Sorry for being picky, but I’ve heard horror stories.. According to the catalog, they have it, though no one’s actually checked in a while. It’s in the Cthulhu wing, into which the patrons may enter if they wish, but only after bringing their accounts fully up to date. But once you’re in you’re on your own; not only is the staff reluctant to enter, but applicants are asked if they are willing to work inside it, and saying yes results in not being hired. Anyway, I’m going to say no, for four reasons. 1. It’s in the Cthulhu wing. _2) It’s in the Cthulhu wing._ _**3) It’s in the goddamn Cthulhu wing!**_ 2. What’re you, nuts? Which part of _Cthulhu wing_ do you not understand? > [@silenus](#): > > My needs are slight: I wouldn’t mind copies of the last three volumes of Stasheff’s _Starship Troupers_ series. For that matter the last two volumes of Pournelle’s _Jannissaries_ series would be nice as well. I hesitate to mantion my last request, but if you can convince the librarians to let you into the restricted area, I’d love a copy of the blooper reel from _Firefly_, Season Eight. You know, the one that has the outtakes from the triangle, where they really got Method. > > Thanks. Summer Glau, going Method, playing River? I don’t think you thought that one through. There’s a reason Jewel Staite had to spend the entire summer break in the psych ward and Morena Baccarin demanded her salary be doubled before she’d agree to return. > [@What\_Exit](#): > > Actually I would like Tolkien’s followup to the Lord of the Rings about the 4th age. As I’ve said before, you only THINK you want that. It’ll break your heart. The wisest thing our world’s Perfesser ever did was abandon that book. > [@](#): > > The 10 juveniles that Heinlein never wrote due to idiots pissing him off and ending that part of his career. Just work with me here, somewhere this must have happened. You also only _think_ you want those. Remember how dark the proper ending to _Podkayne of Mars_ was? Well, those last ten juveniles continue the theme, only worse. I think it was because of Ginny dying, but of course it would be gauche to ask. > [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > JRRT’s finished work on Tuor and the fall of Gondolin, along with his finished work on the Voyages of Eärendil. Prose or verse? Because those are both really long and rather heavy, and for obvious reasons not available as ebooks. > [@](#): > > The Last Dangerous Visions, edited by Ellison. I am not willing to be seen in public with anything Harlan Ellison was involved with unless I am on my way to a bonfire in which he is already burning, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-heading-back-to-the-universal-library-put-in-your-orders-now/577694/16 "2011-04-09T01:46:46Z")
•I’d like a copy of that Riverworld-crossover I was writing circa 2002-03 that I know I’ll never get around to finishing. I’d like to see how that one turned out. •If you could snag a copy of Wayne Barlowe’s _Thype_, I’d be grateful—it feels like I’ve been waiting on that one for thirty years. •Oh! If you could find a copy of _Jane’s All the World’s At-Best-Somewhat-Popular-Franchise Science Fiction and Fantasy Aircraft and Weapon Systems (1985-2010)_? The edition with the obsessive three-view diagrams and scaling information, of course. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-heading-back-to-the-universal-library-put-in-your-orders-now/577694/17 "2011-04-09T02:02:19Z")
I’ll take a DVD with the Harlan Ellison-scripted blockbuster movie _I, Robot_ (not to confused with the Will Smith version), please. And Edgar Allan Poe’s “second wind” stories, from 1849-98, after he recovered from that near-fatal illness in Baltimore. And the authorized, annotated hardcover edition of Lincoln’s Lost Speech: [Lincoln's Lost Speech - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lincoln%27s_Lost_Speech). Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-heading-back-to-the-universal-library-put-in-your-orders-now/577694/18 "2011-04-09T03:24:27Z")
Dean Koontz would love it if you picked up the sequel to _Seize The Night._ Because then he’d avoid being kidnapped by my Book Club Ronin Assassins and forced to finish it. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-heading-back-to-the-universal-library-put-in-your-orders-now/577694/19 "2011-04-09T07:22:14Z")
The complete 5 years of _Crusade_, as originally imagined by JMS. The sequel to Buckaroo Banzai. A copy of everything in the Great Library of Alexandria, pre-fire, fully translated and indexed, in eBook format. ---
**Author:** ![audit1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@audit1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audit1)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-heading-back-to-the-universal-library-put-in-your-orders-now/577694/20 "2011-04-09T07:41:32Z")
My copy of The FLASHMAN PAPERS is missing a few volumes, most notably his accounts of his actions in the US civil war, could you pick up a copy please? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-heading-back-to-the-universal-library-put-in-your-orders-now/577694.md?page=2)