# I'm helping terrorists - and loving it! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 8, 2003, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-helping-terrorists-and-loving-it/147322 "2003-01-08T16:40:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-helping-terrorists-and-loving-it/147322/1 "2003-01-08T16:40:22Z")
My new SUV and I are apparently helping terrorists in this series of parodyish - _but not quite_ ad’s that are running on national TV in major markets over the next few days. Does anyone have a link to these ads? [I helped blow up a Bali nightclub – by driving my SUV to work every day!](http://www.salon.com/news/col/huff/2002/10/22/oil/) > [@](#): > > It’s not just a fantasy. Last week, talking to my friend Scott Burns, co-creator of the “Got Milk?” campaign, I was delighted to hear that he already had two ad scripts ready to go. The first one feels like an old Slim Fast commercial. Instead of “I lost 50 pounds in two weeks” the ad cuts to different people in their SUVs: “I gassed 40,000 Kurds,” “I helped hijack an airplane,” “I helped blow up a nightclub,” and then in unison: “We did it all by driving to work in our SUVs.” > > The second, which opens on a man at a gas station, features a cute kid’s voice-over throughout: “This is George.” Then we see a close-up of a gas pump. “This is the gas George buys for his car.” Next we see a guy in a suit. “This is the oil company executive who makes money on the gas George buys.” Close-up on al-Qaida training film footage: “This is the terrorist organization supported by money from the country where the oil company does business.” It’s followed by footage of 9/11: “We all know what this is.” And it closes on a wide shot of bumper-to-bumper traffic: “The biggest weapon of mass destruction is parked in your driveway.” Pretty effective. [time.com](http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1101021223-399996,00.html) > [@](#): > > What do evangelical Christians, Hollywood liberals and anyone stuck in traffic behind a Range Rover have in common? A desire to rethink the American love affair with the sport-utility vehicle (SUV), which accounts for 27% of new-auto sales. A national television ad campaign will be launched in January linking gas guzzlers to the war on terror. One commercial opens with an image of an SUV driver pumping gas, followed by stock footage of a terrorist training camp. The closing text reads, “What is your SUV doing to the world?” The two 30-second spots are the project of Laurie David, wife of comedian Larry David, along with political pundit Arianna Huffington and others. The campaign, written and directed by the man behind the “Got Milk?” ads, is the latest of several attempts — many spurred by 9/11 and the prospect of a war in Iraq — to convince Americans that buying a car is a moral exercise ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-helping-terrorists-and-loving-it/147322/2 "2003-01-08T16:42:36Z")
Do you actually have an SUV, or were you just using that to make the point? ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-helping-terrorists-and-loving-it/147322/3 "2003-01-08T17:00:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Achernar \* > \*\*Do you actually have an SUV, or were you just using that to make the point? \*\* Not just _an_ SUV mon frere, I’m especially evil, I have [_the_ SUV](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=152534&highlight=santa). ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-helping-terrorists-and-loving-it/147322/4 "2003-01-08T17:11:51Z")
So, let’s get this straight. If you drive an SUV, you help the terrorists. If you use illegal drugs, you help the terrorists. If you buy diamonds, you help the terrorists. I’ve also heard similar claims about caviar and honey (yes really! On an NPR program just after 9/11.) Any bets on how fast “if you do X, you help the terrorists” is going to become a tired old cliche? ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-helping-terrorists-and-loving-it/147322/5 "2003-01-08T17:17:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duke \* > \*\* > Any bets on how fast “if you do X, you help the terrorists” is going to become a tired old cliche? \*\* September 12, 2001 ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-helping-terrorists-and-loving-it/147322/6 "2003-01-08T17:21:15Z")
Ah here we go! Google didn’t have it but MSNBC did. [New campaign in SUV battle - Ads claim connection between SUV drivers and terrorism](http://www.msnbc.com/news/856312.asp?0cv=CB20) And here is the [text of the ads](http://www.americansforfuelefficientcars.org/ads/default.htm). ---
**Author:** ![scablet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@scablet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scablet)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-helping-terrorists-and-loving-it/147322/7 "2003-01-08T17:27:12Z")
I’m glad I don’t watch TV enough to catch one of these adverts. They sound like the most ridiculous propaganda EVER. Sure, I think SUVs are gaudy and Just Too Big and I roll my eyes at them like everyone else, but isn’t that taking it just a bit too far? “When you drive your Range Rover, you’re driving with SATAN!” ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-helping-terrorists-and-loving-it/147322/8 "2003-01-08T17:36:05Z")
Right. Eminently sensible. After all, the gasoline pumped into an SUVs tank comes entirely from horrible dictatorships that fund terrorism against the US, while the the gasoline pumped into a regular car’s tank flows down in rivers from the Big Rock Candy Mountain. > [@](#): > > “This is the oil company executive who makes money on the gas George buys.” Right. Because if they showed all the stockholders who share the company’s profits, that would be too many witches to make a bonfire practical. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-helping-terrorists-and-loving-it/147322/9 "2003-01-08T18:35:39Z")
Ugh. Sounds like those anti-smoking ads…is there something about crackpots that make their commercials have such a distinctive smell? ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-helping-terrorists-and-loving-it/147322/10 "2003-01-08T18:59:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by astro \* > \*\*Not just _an_ SUV mon frere, I’m especially evil, I have [_the_ SUV](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=152534&highlight=santa). \*\* Nope pal, you have _my_ SUV. You ding it, I’m gonna be pissed. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-helping-terrorists-and-loving-it/147322/11 "2003-01-08T19:36:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kal \* > \*\*Nope pal, you have _my_ SUV. You ding it, I’m gonna be pissed. \*\* Oh! That’s right I was gonna deliver it to you as soon as possible after Christmas, but I umm… got busy … and… well I was on the way to your house the other day and I picked up this group of three stranded female librarians who were on their way to compete in a “Naughiest Nightie” contest at the Canton Inn in Delaware… and well things got complicated. Yeah that’s it! That’s the ticket… it just got complicated. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-helping-terrorists-and-loving-it/147322/12 "2003-01-08T19:55:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by scablet \* > **I’m glad I don’t watch TV enough to catch one of these adverts. They sound like the most ridiculous propaganda EVER.** I’d have to go with the drugs=\>terrorism ads for that award. Booze is going to be sold either by Budweiser or by Al Capone, ditto for drugs. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-helping-terrorists-and-loving-it/147322/13 "2003-01-08T20:18:50Z")
Thats gotta be the dumbest video I’ve ever seen. Since **El\_kabong** stole what I was going to say, I’ll just agree with him. ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-helping-terrorists-and-loving-it/147322/14 "2003-01-08T20:33:16Z")
**astro** : Tell ya what; you keep the SUV and send me the three librarians instead. If you ding 'em, I’m gonna be pissed. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Lance_Murdoch)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-helping-terrorists-and-loving-it/147322/15 "2003-01-08T21:09:34Z")
Conserving oil is un-American. Did we conserve oil in WW2? Hell no!! Do Saudis support terrorist groups? Of course not!! Americans who drive SUVs to work from distant suburbs should be proud that they are keeping the American economy strong by keeping spending strong. Sacrafices are for the weak and hatchbacks are for the timid. We can rest assured that our oil supplies come entirely from profoundly pro-American sources and if not we can kick their a\*\* and take their gas! ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2003, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-helping-terrorists-and-loving-it/147322/16 "2003-01-08T23:06:02Z")
I hope you’re forgetting the rolleyes **Rogzilla**. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-helping-terrorists-and-loving-it/147322/17 "2003-01-09T00:27:47Z")
They’ve been going on about this on CNN all day. Their coverage sounds decidely partisan to me (taking the side of the activists who created the ads). Yes, I’m sure me and my Cherokee are responsible for the end of the world. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-helping-terrorists-and-loving-it/147322/18 "2003-01-09T01:16:33Z")
I’d drive my SUV to work, but there is a 8 year waiting list for parking space, which i would then pay $100+ a month for. Almost worth it to spite these idiots. ---
**Author:** ![typhoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ed8c4c/32.png) [@typhoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typhoon)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-helping-terrorists-and-loving-it/147322/19 "2003-01-09T02:30:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by slortar \* > \*\*Ugh. Sounds like those anti-smoking ads…is there something about crackpots that make their commercials have such a distinctive smell? \*\* The MSN video implies that it’s intentional. It reminded _me_ of “Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten.” ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2003, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-helping-terrorists-and-loving-it/147322/20 "2003-01-09T02:42:03Z")
SUV’s only account for 27% of new auto sales. What about the other 73% of terrorist fundraising devices? 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-helping-terrorists-and-loving-it/147322.md?page=2)