# I'm in love with a vacuum cleaner **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 28, 2003, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106 "2003-02-28T12:37:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106/21 "2003-02-28T14:44:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > It’s strange, really. I mean, it doesn’t do 200 km/h, and it doesn’t have tits. Yet I’m attracted to it. 😃 Aftermarket mods, my good man. ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106/22 "2003-02-28T14:51:54Z")
Does anyone else now picture Coldfire’s home life as the following: He comes home from work each day to a house devoid of life. As he enters the kitchen, he throws his keys on the counter. He proceeds to walk slowly up the stairs, all the while slowly disrobing and leaving a trail of clothes to mark his way. He can be heard to be whistling “I Touch Myself” by The Divinyls. He opens the door to his bedroom. A solitary candle flickers in the breeze. Lined up around the room, are all manners of vacuums. Hoover Uprights, Drit Devil cylinder cleaners, floor polishers, Wet n’ Dry vacs, handheld vacuums, and for those extra special times, miniature computer keyboard cleaners. Coldfire does a shuffle step around the room letting his hands and eyes roam over the assembled mass of suckitude. He finally settles on his chosen for the evening. The bedroom door closes and all anyone can here is the plaintive moan and whir of Clogboy’s evening companion. ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106/23 "2003-02-28T15:29:21Z")
**Mullinator** , that was a trip down mental-visualization lane that I did NOT need! -Tcat ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106/24 "2003-02-28T15:35:26Z")
My cats are traumatized by the vac. I don’t think I can have a robot cleaner chasing the cats around all day while I’m gone. I might miss something good. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106/25 "2003-02-28T16:22:54Z")
**Mullinator** : superb! ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106/26 "2003-02-28T16:39:38Z")
You Dutch are renowned for keeping your houses neat. I myself am 1/256 Dutch and partake of that behavioral trait proportionately. ---
**Author:** ![Alto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Alto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alto)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106/27 "2003-02-28T16:49:24Z")
Not only is it cute, it’s “independent, gorgeous, sensitive, concientious, and industrious.” Where have you been all my life, Trilobite? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106/28 "2003-02-28T16:50:20Z")
No fair. The English language version doesn’t have the hot chick in high heels bending over to adjust the… controls… ---
**Author:** ![Mariachi\_Kitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@Mariachi\_Kitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mariachi_Kitty)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106/29 "2003-02-28T17:10:40Z")
Aahhh, you gotta love Swedish industrial design. A vacuum cleaner with a design based on a Paleozioc creature, in metallic fire-engine red, that actually does the vacuuming for you…paradise! Any clean-freak paleontologists out there? ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106/30 "2003-02-28T17:14:03Z")
You know, when they told you to go to Amsterdam to relax. And they told you to go round the “special” shops and choose a hot model from out of the window. They weren’t talking about the electric hardware shop you nincompoop. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106/31 "2003-02-28T17:14:50Z")
But now your faced with a dilemma. Assuming your the monogamous type, it’s **Heloise** or clean floors. Difficult decision. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106/32 "2003-02-28T17:38:18Z")
Who says **Heloise** can’t clea… I mean, who says it’s the woman that always has to do the cleaning? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106/33 "2003-02-28T18:53:22Z")
Dear Penthouse Forum: You wouldn’t think an evening with a trilobite would be anything to write home about, let me tell _you_… ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106/34 "2003-03-01T06:44:52Z")
Anyone else have a Frank Zappa tune stuck in their head, now? [sub]Could one, in fact, clean that sofa with the very same Wet-Dry Vac that… no, nevermind. I don’t wanna know.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106/35 "2003-03-01T07:03:36Z")
This reminds me of the time I became an Urban Legend, or at the very least a running email gag. I worked for the Electrolux company, in a small local sales office, in 1985. It was a dead boring place to work, lemme tell you. So one afternoon, a friend of mine stopped by just to chat, and since I had nothing better to do, we started playing with stuff in the office, including a bottle of Wite-Out and a copy machine. A few days later, I inadvertantly filled in one of our “altered” invoices and faxed it to someone at the main office. Several years passed, and I received an email entitled “Corporate Blunders, LOL!” Listed in and among other various goofs was this gem: “An office manager for the Electrolux vacuum cleaner company was fired for sending out invoices on which the company’s logo had been replaced by the motto ‘Nothing Sucks Like An Electrolux.’” Yes, this is a true story, yes, it was ME, not someone I knew, or the cousin of my hairdresser. This, fellow Dopers, is my claim to fame. My parents are very proud. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106/36 "2003-03-01T12:29:48Z")
I want one of [these](http://www.dyson.co.uk/range/range.asp) babies. That trillobite? Oh, it would so be toast when my dog got a hold of it. It’s an evil vacuum _and_ it moves slow. Toast. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106/37 "2003-03-01T14:22:28Z")
BNB, you can get Dysons in lots of pretty colours, my mum has a red/purple/yellow one and my land lady had a lime green/purple/grey one. they’re fab. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106/38 "2003-03-01T15:32:22Z")
I dunno. Trilobite is a cool name and all, but if I had just invented a robotic vaccuum cleaner, I totally would name it Rosie, like from the Jetsons. Of course, I’d also expect it to be slightly sarcastic and rude. Maybe I expect too much of my robots. In other news, Coldie Clogs has decided that he loves a robotic sucker. How _BladeRunner_. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Winnowill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4491bb/32.png) [@Winnowill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winnowill)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106/39 "2003-03-01T17:57:22Z")
I HATE vacuuming. Something like that would be a godsend to me. As it is, I make Mr Winnie do it - and he doesn’t do it as often as he should. And we DO have a Kirby. It’s the most wonderful thing in the world for picking up dog hair. Of which we have an abundance. ---
**Author:** ![kirk280980](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c77e96/32.png) [@kirk280980](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kirk280980)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106/40 "2003-03-01T22:01:14Z")
Dyson make a robot vacuum too, the DC06. [http://www.dyson.co.uk/range/feature\_frame.asp?model=DC06](http://www.dyson.co.uk/range/feature_frame.asp?model=DC06) According to the Dyson sales rep I used to deal with in my last job, you won’t be able to buy this in the shops. Instead, you have to call the Dyson factory direct, and they’ll manufacture one for you. The downside is that it costs £2500. But at least it comes with a hose and attachments, so you can use it as a canister vacuum for stairs and furniture (something you can’t do with the E-Lux). It’s as powerful as a full-size Dyson, so will actually clean carpet properly, too. I want, I want! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-a-vacuum-cleaner/158106.md?page=3)