# I'm in love with my gay male friend **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 8, 2013, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468 "2013-11-08T23:52:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TashaKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d26b3c/32.png) [@TashaKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TashaKitty)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2013, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/1 "2013-11-08T23:52:08Z")
I want to lose my virginity to him. I literally fantasize about it and I call his name out when I orgasm. We’re close enough to be comfortable around each other naked but obviously, since he’s gay, he probably wouldn’t want to have sex with me. We’ve talked about having a child together in the future, but I want to conceive it naturally instead of via turkey baster. Should I tell him or would that scare him off? Or should I go for the gusto and strip down and start playing with him and see what his reaction is? ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/2 "2013-11-09T00:13:10Z")
> [@TashaKitty](#): > > We’ve talked about having a child together in the future, but I want to conceive it naturally instead of via turkey baster. So you want a sperm bank that offers direct deposit 😃 ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/3 "2013-11-09T00:16:27Z")
Gay man here checking in. Be honest with him about how you feel. He’ll probably tell you he’s not interested. It’ll help you get over your feelings hopefully, and you can continue being friends. Do not try to get naked with him. That’s a preposterously bad idea. ---
**Author:** ![slowlearner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@slowlearner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slowlearner)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/4 "2013-11-09T01:05:29Z")
I yell “TURKEY BASTER!” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/5 "2013-11-09T01:18:15Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > So you want a sperm bank that offers direct deposit 😃 And most likely, there will be a penalty for early withdrawl. ---
**Author:** ![Thylacine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thylacine/32/1143_2.png) [@Thylacine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thylacine)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/6 "2013-11-09T01:21:11Z")
Being in love with him is the problem here, he isn’t going to magically fall in love with you if you give him an erection though he may give you sex. Having sex with someone you love that does not love you back is incredibly problematic, particularly when one of you is a virgin. Doesn’t matter if they are gay, straight or somewhere in between. If you care at all about this guy leave him and his dangly bits alone. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/7 "2013-11-09T01:25:56Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m in love with my gay female friend > > I want to lose my virginity to her. I literally fantasize about it and I call her name out when I orgasm. We’re close enough to be comfortable around each other naked but obviously, since she’s gay, she probably wouldn’t want to have sex with me. We’ve talked about having a child together in the future, but I want to conceive it naturally instead of via turkey baster. > > Should I tell her or would that scare him off? Or should I go for the gusto and strip down and start playing with her and see what her reaction is? Hmmm… doesn’t seem to work either way. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/8 "2013-11-09T01:44:37Z")
> [@TashaKitty](#): > > Should I tell him or would that scare him off? Or should I go for the gusto and strip down and start playing with him and see what his reaction is? Neither (for now). Perhaps some introspection is due as to why you are developing feelings for someone so abundantly unavailable. How long have the two of you been friends? ---
**Author:** ![TashaKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d26b3c/32.png) [@TashaKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TashaKitty)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/9 "2013-11-09T01:55:01Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Neither (for now). Perhaps some introspection is due as to why you are developing feelings for someone so abundantly unavailable. How long have the two of you been friends? We’ve been close for about five years. ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/10 "2013-11-09T02:08:50Z")
So, do you think he’s not really gay and you can “turn him straight?” ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/11 "2013-11-09T02:46:11Z")
How old are you? ---
**Author:** ![TashaKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d26b3c/32.png) [@TashaKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TashaKitty)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/12 "2013-11-09T02:46:45Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > How old are you? Both 23. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/13 "2013-11-09T02:49:06Z")
Are you ever interested in men who might be available to you? ---
**Author:** ![TashaKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d26b3c/32.png) [@TashaKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TashaKitty)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/14 "2013-11-09T02:49:12Z")
> [@Accidental\_Martyr](#): > > So, do you think he’s not really gay and you can “turn him straight?” No, he’s totally gay, I just want him to like me. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/15 "2013-11-09T02:50:23Z")
You could have a sex-change operation in Bangkok. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/16 "2013-11-09T02:50:52Z")
Yeah, that’s not going to happen. Not like you want. And you’re going to start resenting him for it, I suspect. ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/17 "2013-11-09T03:04:30Z")
yeah, getting man-bits on impulse would certainly trigger a buyer’s remorse. ---
**Author:** ![TashaKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d26b3c/32.png) [@TashaKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TashaKitty)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/18 "2013-11-09T03:10:48Z")
Okay, so how about these scenarios? I’m not trying to be funny or gross or be a troll or anything; I genuinely want to know what you guys think. This is supposing we do try for a baby in the future. When he’s providing his “sample”: a) He could manually stimulate himself but could I request that he physically penetrate me at the last second instead of depositing into a container? That way our child would be conceived naturally but he’d only have to have minimal contact with me. b) If he insists on depositing into a container, could I request that I be the one to stimulate him? For gay men on here, would those options completely horrify you or would you be open to them? Also for the gay men, would you be a woman’s birthing partner, or would you be completely freaked out by it? I guess all I want is to experience sex with him once. After that, I wouldn’t hound him for a sexual relationship. We would live together and raise our child, but there would be no sex, and I’d be satisfied with it if I could only experience him one time, preferably when our child is conceived. And if our child isn’t conceived on the first try, we’d go the artificial insemination route from then on. ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/19 "2013-11-09T03:13:34Z")
> [@TashaKitty](#): > > No, he’s totally gay, I just want him to like me. Why would you want him to deny his own orientation and go against who he is just because you want him to like you? ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2013, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/20 "2013-11-09T03:13:44Z")
> [@TashaKitty](#): > > Okay, so how about these scenarios? I’m not trying to be funny or gross or be a troll or anything; I genuinely want to know what you guys think. > > This is supposing we do try for a baby in the future. When he’s providing his “sample”: > > a) He could manually stimulate himself but could I request that he physically penetrate me at the last second instead of depositing into a container? That way our child would be conceived naturally but he’d only have to have minimal contact with me. > > b) If he insists on depositing into a container, could I request that I be the one to stimulate him? > > For gay men on here, would those options completely horrify you or would you be open to them? > > Also for the gay men, would you be a woman’s birthing partner, or would you be completely freaked out by it? > > I guess all I want is to experience sex with him once. After that, I wouldn’t hound him for a sexual relationship. We would live together and raise our child, but there would be no sex, and I’d be satisfied with it if I could only experience him one time, preferably when our child is conceived. And if our child isn’t conceived on the first try, we’d go the artificial insemination route from then on. Yeah, you need to wake the fuck up from whatever dream world you’re living in. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468.md?page=2)