# I'm in love with my gay male friend **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 8, 2013, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468 "2013-11-08T23:52:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/81 "2013-11-10T05:42:12Z")
> [@TashaKitty](#): > > Okay, I genuinely want to know what you guys think. > > When he’s providing his “sample”: > > He could manually stimulate himself but could I request that he physically penetrate me at the last second instead of depositing into a container? That way our child would be conceived naturally but he’d only have to have minimal contact with me. Better yet, he could pleasure himself while you lay below him with your legs spread open and just let it kinda fall in there, KWIM? That way, _no contact!_ 🆒 That’s hot, right? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/82 "2013-11-10T06:23:01Z")
**TashaKitty** , I just found out I have a lesbian friend who is madly in love with you. She’s been asking how to make you fall for her. She’s been thinking maybe she should just go for the gusto and strip down and start playing with you and see what your reaction is. ---
**Author:** ![whc.03grady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a6a055/32.png) [@whc.03grady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whc.03grady)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/83 "2013-11-10T06:35:24Z")
Does anyone else have the feeling we should somehow find this gay guy and tell him to run away? Like, quickly? ---
**Author:** ![yorick73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/b5a626/32.png) [@yorick73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yorick73)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/84 "2013-11-10T07:29:22Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > Eww. Just…eww. If I have nightmares tonight I blame you. Now it’s confirmed…you are gay. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![snailboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/97f17d/32.png) [@snailboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snailboy)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/85 "2013-11-10T10:26:01Z")
How can a gay male enjoy watching a female masturbate? As a straight male, I have no desire to see another guy doing anything naked. Both of these people sound a little odd to me. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/86 "2013-11-10T13:13:48Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Ha! Methinks you know too few gay men! But of course, use your anecdotes to apply to an entire sexual orientation and gender! Brace yourself for another gross, disgusting, and disturbing generalization, which I am about to apply to both genders, and all races: I believe (and this belief is supported by my experience) that most PEOPLE are pretty decent most of the time. I’ve met very few jerks, all things considered. And I’m midway through my 7th decade and have lived all over the country. YMMV, and if it does, \. I was just giving my answer to the man’s (turns out _not serious_) question. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/87 "2013-11-10T13:36:46Z")
> [@snailboy](#): > > How can a gay male enjoy watching a female masturbate? As a straight male, I have no desire to see another guy doing anything naked. Both of these people sound a little odd to me. I have to admit I wouldn’t have much interest in watching a man masturbate. On the other hand, I am a man - I already know how male masturbation works. If I were a gay man, I might be interested in watching a woman masturbate. But it would be a non-sexual interest. I’d be interested in watching it for the same reason I’d watch a YouTube video about somebody performing an appendectomy - I’d be interesting in watching something that’s outside of my experience but I’d have no desire to join in. ---
**Author:** ![Habeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/88 "2013-11-10T16:02:54Z")
> [@TashaKitty](#): > > He’s not repulsed by vaginas, either. I masturbated in front of him once and he seemed rather fascinated by it. The thing is, you have your answer right there. Straight men aren’t going to turn a woman away who has been on them for 5 years like that. Heck, a 100% straight man would feel a strong urge to have sex with you after about 5 minutes of something this overt. Assuming there really is a spectrum between gay and straight, it sounds like your friend is roughly 100% gay. There are men out there who enjoy it both ways, but it does not seem like your friend is one of them. ---
**Author:** ![sisu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@sisu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sisu)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2013, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/89 "2013-11-10T22:35:18Z")
hmmmm, so 23 year old virgin fantasizes about an untouchable man? Easy way not to get hurt and still play the victim. ---
**Author:** ![CatherineZeta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@CatherineZeta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatherineZeta)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/90 "2013-11-12T18:28:49Z")
I just finished reading _Just Kids_ by Patti Smith about her relationship with Robert Mapplethorpe, an artist and photographer who was gay. They had a very intense relationship that included sex, but as he realized he was attracted to men he couldn’t make that aspect of the relationship work. At first she was hurt, but she moved on to different people and was able to be happy for him. They continued to have a deep, platonic relationship that focused around their art until his death. Near the end of the book she calls the art they created together their “children.” So anyway, my point is, is there another aspect of the relationship with your friend that you can focus on so that you can stop thinking about him sexually? Can you expand your social circle so that includes men who are available? Or maybe it’s best if you cease contact with him. Trying to make him straight implies that you see him as an object, not a person who is who he is. If you can’t respect him or if there’s nothing to the friendship aside from wanting to have sex with him, then maybe this wasn’t much of a friendship to begin with. ---
**Author:** ![Aman27deep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@Aman27deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aman27deep)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2014, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/91 "2014-01-08T08:32:37Z")
I would really recommend you discuss your feelings with him. Gay/bisexual men are very understanding. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2014, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/92 "2014-01-08T08:44:23Z")
> [@Aman27deep](#): > > I would really recommend you discuss your feelings with him. Gay/bisexual men are very understanding. You just don’t bump a thread with a title like is with such a lame post. So uncool. I clicked cuz I was like “ooh she totally hooked up with gay buddy!!”. But no I get this junk. Booo. ---
**Author:** ![jfreakofkorn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecc23a/32.png) [@jfreakofkorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jfreakofkorn)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2014, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/93 "2014-01-08T12:06:08Z")
sounds like that you need to get the facts of life in order … a gay man is going to stay that, gay and always will be on a commitment in chasing men ( thats if he is not already in a relationship ) 2, well those feelings that you have there, will always be there and cant be dealt with … unless you move on … the only feelings this guy has, is just friendship … take no offense to my opinion, its just that, an opinion ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2014, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/94 "2014-01-08T17:12:55Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > You just don’t bump a thread with a title like is with such a lame post. So uncool. I clicked cuz I was like “ooh she totally hooked up with gay buddy!!”. But no I get this junk. Booo. As the OP was banned a couple months ago, I think you are out of luck with any followup. The entire story sounded rather made-up anyway, so you can probably imagine whatever conclusion you want to. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2014, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468/95 "2014-01-08T18:51:15Z")
Since the OP has been banned, as mentioned, no further discussion here is going to be productive, if it ever was. New topics on the subject can always be started, of course, if anyone has any interest. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-in-love-with-my-gay-male-friend/673468.md?page=4)