I'm Injured, and I Have To Discipline My Stepson, Because of My Neighbor's STUPID KID

The BBQ Pit
21

Yes, I know. And since my stepson doesn’t live with me now, when he is here visiting, I really don’t want to ban him from hanging out with the friends he’s made.

My husband and I did have a talk with Timi this morning, BTW. It went as I expected–very well. I did tell Timi that I wasn’t going to keep him from playing with the boy, but that I don’t want the boy around here–for a while. Not permanently, though. Timi understood. I also thanked Timi for taking care of his sister & brother while I took care of myself. I did that last night, but I felt i was important to stress it again, to let him know that while what happened yesterday was not a good thing, I still do love him very much, I trust him, and I have a great deal of faith in him. He’s a good person to have around in a crisis, and I imagine that he’ll make a fine President of the United States someday. :smiley:

22

Persephone,
I just wanted to say that I think you have handled everything in a rational and caring way. Your a good mom and I wish you a speedy recovery.

23

FWIW, I would have done exactly the same thing in respect to cleaning up the glass, hon. I would have grabbed the first pair of shoes I saw, which around here is likely to be thongs, and it wouldn’t have occurred to me that there would be a piece of glass sticking far enough up that it would cut me.

Doesn’t make you an idiot, or if it does then I am one too.

And for those who appear to feel that Pers is making a big deal about nothing…SURE, as I said myself, kids do stupid things, experimenting or just because they aren’t thinking. If they aren’t corrected and it isn’t explained to them that their behaviour is wrong and dangerous, how will they ever learn not to do it again with potentially much WORSE results?

24

aahhh, yes, boys. I’ll echo the sentiments of ‘how in the hell do they manage to survive to semi adulthood’ sentiments. I recall an evening when my son as about 5 or 6, had dinner w/some friends, he proudly showed ‘Dave’ his “base” ( a place he and his pals played in). Turned out it was in the next door neighbors shed.

the one with a roof half hangin down. and broken glass all around. and part of the ‘base’ was an old car battery which they used as a control panel, turning the ‘knobs’ this way and that. :eek:

A short talk w/the neighbor got the shed off limits.

Ya done fine. As a general thought (lesson) from this, maybe place an old pair of sturdy shoes (big enough to slip on) for emeregencies - anything from escaping Diana-sauers, to maruading Tyranisaurus Johns, to unidentified yelps, in any season.

25

What is Idiot Boy normally like? Just curious.

Of course, I remember doing dumbass stuff at that age, so I can’t comment, sadly. :frowning:

Hope your foot feels better soon, 'seph

26

He hasn’t spent that much time here, to be honest. But I never really did much care for him. Got a bad vibe off of him.

There was one time last winter, when Timi was living with us, that gave me an indication that he might be a slightly difficult kid. Timi had been out playing with him, and apparently he’d gotten a bit annoyed with something that the boy had done (at this moment, I don’t remember precisely what), so he decided to come home. A few minutes later, the boy was on my porch, knocking and asking for Timi. So, Timi goes out to talk to him. Several minutes after that, Timi comes stomping back in to the living room, more honked off than I’ve ever seen him (and I’ve known him for seven of his eight years), telling me that he’s tried to explain to the boy that he doesn’t want to play with him any more today, but the boy will NOT leave.

I looked out the window, and sure enough, the kid was still standing there.

So, I asked Timi if he would like me to step in here. He said “Yes, PLEASE!!!”

I went to the door, and asked the boy if I could help him. He said “I want to play with Timi.” I said “When you talked to Timi just a minute ago, did he tell you that he didn’t want to come outside?” The boy confirmed that yes, Timi had indeed said that. So I said “Well, Timi just told me the same thing. He doesn’t want to come outside. So, I think you should probably go home now, okay?”

The kid left, but after that, I felt even edgier about him than I had before. Until yesterday, though, I’d never seen the kid actually do anything “bad,” and except for the above mentioned incident, Timi had never complained about him.

27

Hijack hijack hijack, but this is when you get your insurance company to hire Mr Cranky. Earlier this year he animated a crash where he was able to show that there was no way (given sight lines and the known laws of physics) that a van driver could have stopped his vehicle before hitting a child who rode his bike out in front of the van.

Keep him in mind when you get into practice!! :smiley:

28

You handled Timi just right, Persephone. If I know anything about eight year olds, he was probably punishing himself much worse with “what are the grownups going to do to me for all this?” than the lecture he actually got.

How you deal with Idiot Boy and his parents depends on what sort of relationship you currently have with them. (Do you know them other than as the mysterious parents of the kid your kid plays with? Are they the sort of people whose children Can Do No Wrong? and all that sort of stuff)

And I too hope that your foot heals quickly and completely. Give the boy a hug; after all this, and probably feeling guilty that you cut your foot as well, he needs it. :slight_smile:

29

I’m always amazed at the presence of mind parents display when faced with situations like this. I know about all those liability issues, but I probably wouldn’t have remembered them until after the bleeding kid went to the hospital because he’d tried to clean up the glass.

I think you did exactly the right thing by coming here to cool off and then handling the situation calmly. And I know that Timi and the little ones are Perfect Children[sup]TM[/sup] and all that, but you really seem to have a way with Timi. You’re a super mom, Cristi!

30

How old is Timi? There’s a big difference in terms of maturity and responsibility between say, a 5 year old, and a 9 year old.

Speaking of maturity, can we stop calling kids names? “Idiot Boy” and “Butterball?” Yikes.

31

And not just boys. My sweet 83 year old mother, who personifies level-headed thinking, apparently did not start out this way. One of her childhood antics involved a long pole and a building next to her schoolhouse (her school was on the grounds of an old Russian aristocracy summer house in what was then the Finnish Karelia). Wielding the pole, she accidentally hit a high window. Wow, what a neat sound! She hit the next one. And the next, and the next, and the… Well, she broke quite a few before the groundskeeper finally stopped her.

The groundskeeper marched my mom home to her mother. My grandmother was a no-nonsense woman AND the head of the schoolboard (d’oh!). Mom was punished swiftly and the groundskeeper also received a verbal lashing for watching her break several windows before stopping her. Mom grew up to be a stable, no-nonsense, you-knew-where-the-line-was-drawn mother (just like millions of other kids who pulled stupid stunts in their childhood). Well, this was the first thing that stuck in my mind reading the OP.

Persephone, I think you’ve handled the situation well. At first, I was a bit taken aback with the banning, but if this kid makes you feel uncomfortable, then perhaps limiting interaction is the best. (On the other hand, this kid sounds a little lonely, but that’s just the impression I get from this thread. Obviously, you base your impressions on the whole range of interactions with him.) I suspect the act of seeing you get hurt because of his own actions will remain with him for a long, long time. I wish you a swift and speedy recovery (and yeah, I would have grabbed the first footwear available, which would probably have been flimsy slippers - another d’oh)!

32

BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!

:::wiping tears of laughter from my eyes, gasping for breath:::

OH no. My kids aren’t perfect. They’re “spirited,” which is Parent-ese for “You have many fine qualities which will serve you well in adulthood…if I let you live that long.”

Timi is eight, as is the boy that broke the glass.

Give the boy a hug; after all this, and probably feeling guilty that you cut your foot as well, he needs it.

[QUOTE]

Yes, I did, as did his father. As I said earlier, he really did do a fine job of taking care of his little sister & brother after I hurt myself. So he got a lecture on the dangers of fooling with broken glass, but much praise for being such a terrific help afterwards. I also let him know that the fact that I got hurt was really more MY fault than anyone else’s.

My foot’s going to be fine, though, and I think everyone involved has learned something here. Thank goodness.