# I'm learning Latin......and I want to swear in it as well... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 12, 2005, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-learning-latin-and-i-want-to-swear-in-it-as-well/284346 "2005-01-12T05:04:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2005, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-learning-latin-and-i-want-to-swear-in-it-as-well/284346/1 "2005-01-12T05:04:59Z")
Okay, I’ve been trying to teach myself Latin off and on for the last few months…and the usual bonus temptation in learning a foreign language has come up. Namely…are there any good Latin swear words? Either decent enough translations of modern ones or whatever might have been considered profane to the Romans. Okay, I know it may be a tall order, but I figure I’d ask. And no, I’m not learning it just for that, but I figure I might as well get everything I can out of it. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2005, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-learning-latin-and-i-want-to-swear-in-it-as-well/284346/2 "2005-01-12T05:06:09Z")
IIRC, a guy named Henry Beard wrote a couple books that you might be interested in. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2005, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-learning-latin-and-i-want-to-swear-in-it-as-well/284346/3 "2005-01-12T06:05:50Z")
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE squash the freaking semper ubi sub ubi IDIOTS any time you run across one. It does NOT mean always wear underwear. The proper word for underwear is subligare. :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2005, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-learning-latin-and-i-want-to-swear-in-it-as-well/284346/4 "2005-01-12T06:10:19Z")
I learned a few from Colleen McCullough books. I’ll see if I can dig them up. ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2005, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-learning-latin-and-i-want-to-swear-in-it-as-well/284346/5 "2005-01-12T06:13:06Z")
Podex! ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2005, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-learning-latin-and-i-want-to-swear-in-it-as-well/284346/6 "2005-01-12T06:17:59Z")
My favorite! Cunnus, mentula, fellator, and the relatively mild citocacia are all I can think of right now. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2005, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-learning-latin-and-i-want-to-swear-in-it-as-well/284346/7 "2005-01-12T06:25:57Z")
You might want to look up Pirapic verse. Which were obscene and threatening poems attatched to staues of this guy [http://www.phallic.org/priapus/](http://www.phallic.org/priapus/) placed in Roman gardens warning of what would happen to anyone stealing vegetables. Well, look at him, what do you think would happen? I recall a book that had the English and original Latin. Might be a good source for some pretty disgusting language. ---
**Author:** ![SallyCan\_tDance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@SallyCan\_tDance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SallyCan_tDance)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2005, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-learning-latin-and-i-want-to-swear-in-it-as-well/284346/8 "2005-01-12T06:36:14Z")
Pestis! Furcifer! According to my old high school Cambridge Latin course, this means Pest! Scoundrel! For the rest of high school, my friends and I would sometimes randomly greet each other in this fashion. Apparently archaelogists found some graffiti on a Roman wall wishing that Marcus Vinidius (or someone) gets Really Vicious Hemerrhoids. Can’t recall the Latin for it, though. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2005, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-learning-latin-and-i-want-to-swear-in-it-as-well/284346/9 "2005-01-12T07:02:06Z")
How about Catullus’s “Carmen XVI”? _Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo,_ Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi, qui me ex versiculis meis putastis, quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum. nam castum esse decet pium poetam ipsum, versiculos nihil necessest. qui tum denique habent salem ac leporem, si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici et quod pruriat incitare possunt, non dico pueris, sed his pilosis, qui duros nequeunt movere lumbos. vos, quod milia multa basiorum legistis, male me marem putatis? pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo. (Trans: I’ll fuck you up the ass and make you blow me, you faggot Aurelius and your bum-boy, Furius, Who say, because of my verses, That I’m effeminate, you shameful pair. The pious poet ought to be chaste himself, but his verses needn’t be so; They’ll only have wit and charm If they’re a bit squishy and indecent, And can turn a fellow on – I don’t mean a teenager, but a hairy old fart Who can’t get it up too easily anymore. So, just because you read about my thousands of kisses, You dare to call me effeminate? Well, I’ll fuck you up the ass and make you blow me!) Here’s a link for more: [http://www.notam02.no/~hcholm/altlang/ht/Latin.1.html](http://www.notam02.no/~hcholm/altlang/ht/Latin.1.html) ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2005, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-learning-latin-and-i-want-to-swear-in-it-as-well/284346/10 "2005-01-12T07:11:11Z")
And a slightly better rendering, in blank verse: Fuck you, you two old queens, just suck my dick, Aurelius, Furius, you pair of fruits, Who say, because my verses are risqué, That that must mean that I’m a slut like you. I know the pious poet must be chaste, But quite the opposite for what he writes – Indeed, it only gets its wit and spice If he throws in a little bit of smut, The kind he knows can turn a fellow on – Not randy kids, but hairy, grey old farts Who find it’s tougher now to get it up. So, just because you’ve read of my amours, You think it means that I’m a sissy too? Well, fuck you, you old queens, just suck my dick! ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2005, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-learning-latin-and-i-want-to-swear-in-it-as-well/284346/11 "2005-01-12T07:11:50Z")
Man, that Catallus was a salty old bastard. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2005, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-learning-latin-and-i-want-to-swear-in-it-as-well/284346/12 "2005-01-12T07:39:47Z")
“Ite ad infernos” is useful in dealing with evil spirits, poltergeists, and people who just need to be told off. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2005, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-learning-latin-and-i-want-to-swear-in-it-as-well/284346/13 "2005-01-12T11:58:46Z")
> [@](#): > > I’ll fuck you up the ass and make you blow me, This sounds like if they turned the Sopranos into a musical. ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2005, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-learning-latin-and-i-want-to-swear-in-it-as-well/284346/14 "2005-01-12T17:33:44Z")
If you send me your address, I’ll send you a book. My mom got it for me when I was taking Latin in high school. The whole book is how to insult and insinuate in classical Latin. They’re pretty good. My e-mail is in my profile. ---
**Author:** ![DaphneBlack](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daphneblack/32/5389_2.png) [@DaphneBlack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaphneBlack)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2005, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-learning-latin-and-i-want-to-swear-in-it-as-well/284346/15 "2005-01-12T17:49:26Z")
Matt got here first with the poem I wanted to mention, but I will add another gem of Catullus’ (this is addressed to his ex-girlfriend - they had a bad breakup): ‘nunc in quadriviis et angiportis glubit magnanimi Remi nepotes.’ (58.4-5) Translation: ‘Now at crossroads\* and in alleys she ‘peels the bark off’ 😉 the grandsons of great-hearted Remus.’ \*a common hangout for prostitutes Other excellent insults are found in the satires of Juvenal and the epigrams of Martial, as well. Cheers, Daphne (who should right now be revising the satires of Juvenal and the annals of Tacitus…) ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2005, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-learning-latin-and-i-want-to-swear-in-it-as-well/284346/16 "2005-01-12T18:12:59Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > This sounds like if they turned the Sopranos into a musical. Actually, that could be quite an interesting idea…assuming they got people who could sing to do the singing(or at least the dubbing). ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2005, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-learning-latin-and-i-want-to-swear-in-it-as-well/284346/17 "2005-01-12T22:34:51Z")
There’s the ever-popular “Eos futue [pedica] nisi jocum percipere possent” (Fuck [bugger] 'em if they can’t take a joke). ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2005, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-learning-latin-and-i-want-to-swear-in-it-as-well/284346/18 "2005-01-12T23:21:58Z")
I’m afraid I can’t offer you any swear words, but back in 1983 when a friend and I were exploring our mutual geekiness we coined a new Latin verb: Splitere, meaning: to leave, precipitously. We both still use it. Usually in the first person plural imperative: Splitemus-ne! ---
**Author:** ![lizardling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@lizardling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lizardling)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-learning-latin-and-i-want-to-swear-in-it-as-well/284346/19 "2005-01-13T01:44:43Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > How about Catullus’s “Carmen XVI”? :eek: When I took Latin in school, we never knew he could get that earthy! All I remember of Catullus was that he wrote poems to Lesbia (?) and a bunch of funeral poetry. Certainly not stuff like this. Wow. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2005, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-learning-latin-and-i-want-to-swear-in-it-as-well/284346/20 "2005-01-13T02:08:42Z")
George Gordon, Lord Byron, was rather candid about the saltiness of the Greek and Roman poets: > [@Lord Byron](#): > > Ovid’s a rake, as half his verses show him, > Anacreon’s morals are a still worse sample, > Catullus scarcely has a decent poem, > I don’t think Sappho’s Ode a good example, > Although Longinus tells us there is no hymn > Where the sublime soars forth on wings more ample; > But Virgil’s songs are pure, except that horrid one > Beginning with “Formosum Pastor Corydon.” The final reference is to Virgil’s Second Eclogue: > [@Virgil](#): > > Formosum pastor Corydon ardebat Alexin, > delicias domini, nec, quid speraret, habebat. > Tantum inter densas, umbrosa cacumina, fagos > adsidue veniebat. Ibi hæc incondita solus > montibus et silvis studio iactabat inani. > > “O crudelis Alexi, nihil mea carmina curas? > Nil nostri miserere? Mori me denique coges. > Nunc etiam pecudes umbras et frigora captant, > nunc viridis etiam occultant spineta lacertos, > Thestylis et rapido fessis messoribus æstu > alia serpyllumque herbas contundit olentis. > At me cum raucis, tua dum vestigia lustro, > sole sub ardenti resonant arbusta cicadis. > Nonne fuit satius, tristis Amaryllidis iras > atque superba pati fastidia? Nonne Menalcan, > quamvis ille niger, quamvis tu candidus esses? > O formose puer, nimium ne crede colori: > alba ligustra cadunt, vaccinia nigra leguntur. > > “Despectus tibi sum nec, qui sim, quæris, Alexi, > quam dives pecoris, nivei quam lactis abundans: > mille meæ Siculis errant in montibus agnæ; > lac mihi non æstate novum, non frigore defit. > Canto, quæ solitus, si quando armenta vocabat, > Amphion Dircæus in Actæo Aracyntho. > Nec sum adeo informis: nuper me in litore vidi, > cum placidum ventis staret mare; non ego Daphnin > iudice te metuam, si numquam fallit imago. > > “O tantum libeat mecum tibi sordida rura > atque humilis habitare casas et figere cervos, > hædorumque gregem viridi compellere hibisco! > mecum una in silvis imitabere Pana canendo. > Pan primum calamos cera coniungere pluris > instituit, Pan curat ovis oviumque magistros. > Nec te pæniteat calamo trivisse labellum: > hæc eadem ut sciret, quid non faciebat Amyntas? > Est mihi disparibus septem compacta cicutis > fistula, Damœtas dono mihi quam dedit olim > et dixit moriens ‘Te nunc habet ista secundum.’ > Dixit Damœtas, invidit stultus Amyntas. > Præterea duo, nec tuta mihi valle reperti, > capreoli, sparsis etiam nunc pellibus albo; > bina die siccant ovis ubera; quos tibi servo. > Iam pridem a me illos abducere Thestylis orat; > et faciet, quoniam sordent tibi munera nostra. > > “Huc ades, o formose puer: tibi lilia plenis > ecce ferunt Nymphæ calathis; tibi candida Nais, > pallentis violas et summa papavera carpens, > narcissum et florem iungit bene olentis anethi; > tum, casia atque aliis intexens suavibus herbis, > mollia luteola pingit vaccinia caltha. > Ipse ego cana legam tenera lanugine mala > castaneasque nuces, mea quas Amaryllis amabat; > addam cerea pruna (honos erit huic quoque pomo); > et vos, o lauri, carpam et te, proxima myrte, > sic positæ quoniam suavis miscetis odores. > > “Rusticus es, Corydon; nec munera curat Alexis, > nec, si muneribus certes, concedat Iollas. > Heu, heu, quid volui misero mihi? Floribus Austrum > perditus et liquidis immisi fontibus apros. > Quem fugis, a! demens? Habitarunt di quoque silvas > Dardaniusque Paris. Pallas, quas condidit arces, > ipsa colat: nobis placeant ante omnia silvæ. > Torva leæna lupum sequitur, lupus ipse capellam, > florentem cytisum sequitur lasciva capella, > te Corydon, o Alexi: trahit sua quemque voluptas. > Aspice, aratra iugo referunt suspensa iuvenci, > et sol crescentis decedens duplicat umbras: > me tamen urit amor; quis enim modus adsit amori? > A Corydon, Corydon, quæ te dementia cepit! > Semiputata tibi frondosa vitis in ulmo est. > Quin tu aliquid saltem potius, quorum indiget usus, > viminibus mollique paras detexere iunco? > Invenies alium, si te hic fastidit, Alexin.” Richard Barnfield’s free translation of this into English heroic couplets, about 1600, is called The Affectionate Shepherd. Here’s a large excerpt: > [@Richard Barnfield](#): > > Scarce had the morning starre hid from the light > Heavens crimson canopie with stars bespangled, > > But I began to rue th’ unhappy sight > Of that faire boy that had my hart intangled; > Cursing the time, the place, the sense, the sin; > I came, I saw, I viewd, I slipped in. > > If it be sinne to love a sweet-fac’d boy, > Whose amber locks trust up in golden tramels > Dangle adowne his lovely cheekes with joy, > When pearle and flowers his faire haire enamels; > If it be sinne to love a lovely lad, > Oh then sinne I, for whom my soul is sad. > > His ivory-white and alabaster skin > Is staind throughout with rare vermillion red, > Whose twinckling starrie lights doe never blin [ie. to cease] > To shine on lovely Venus, Beauties bed; > But as the lillie and the blushing rose, > So white and red on him in order growes. > > Oh would to God he would but pitty mee, > That love him more than any mortall wight! > Then he and I with love would soone agree, > That now cannot abide his sutors sight. > O would to God, so I might have my fee, > My lips were honey, and thy mouth a bee. > > Then shouldst thou sucke my sweete and my faire flower, > That now is ripe and full of honey-berries; > Then would I leade thee to my pleasant bower, > Fild full of grapes, of mulberries, and cherRies: > Then shouldst thou be my waspe or else my bee, > I would thy hive, and thou my honey, bee. > > And every morne by dawning of the day, > When Phoebus riseth with a blushing face, > Silvanus chapped-clarkes shall chaunt a lay, > And play thee hunts-up in thy resting place: > My cotte thy chamber, my bosome thy bed > Shall be appointed for thy sleepy head. > > And when it pleaseth thee to walke abroad > Abroad into the fields to take fresh ayre, > The meades with Floras treasure should be strowde, > The mantled meaddowes, and the fields so fayre. > And by a silver well with golden sands > Ile sit me downe, and wash thine ivory hands. > > And in the sweltering heate of summer time, > I would make cabinets for thee, my love > Sweet-smelling arbours made of eglantine > Should be thy shrine, and I would be thy dove. > Cool cabinets of fresh greene laurell boughs > Should shadow us, ore-set with thicke-set eughes. > > Or if thou list to bathe thy naked limbs > Within the cristall of a pearle-bright brooke, > Paved with dainty pibbles to the brims, > Or cleare, wherein thyselfe mayst looke; > Weele go to Ladon, whose still trickling noyse > Will lull thee fast asleepe amids thy joyes. > > Or if thou darst to climbe the highest trees > For apples, cherries, medlars, peares, or plumbs. > Nuts, walnuts, filbreads, chestnuts, cervices, > The hoary peach, when snowy winter comes; > I have fine orchards full of mellowed fruite, > Which I will give thee to obtaine my sute. > > Not proud Alcynous himselfe can vaunt > Of goddlier orchards or of braver trees > Than I have planted; yet thou will not graunt > My simple sute, but like the honey beff > Thou sukst the flowre till all the sweet be gone, > And loost mee for my coyne till I have none. > > If thou wilt come and dwell with me at home, > My sheepcote shall be strowed with new greene rushes > Weele haunt the trembling prickets as they rome > About the fields, along the hauthorne bushes; > I have a pie-bald curre to hunt the hare, > So we will live with daintie forrest fare. > > Nay, more than this, I have a garden plot, > Wherein there wants nor hearbs, nor roots, nor flowers; > Flowers to smell, roots to eate, hearbs for the pot, > And dainty shelters when the welkin lowers: > Sweet-smelling beds of lillies, and of roses, > Which rosemary banks and lavendar incloses. > > There growes the gilliflower, the mynt, the dayzie > Both red and white, the blue-veyned violet; > The purple hyacinth, the spyke to please thee, > The scarlet dyde carnation bleeding yet: > The sage, the savery, and sweet margerum, > Isop, tyme, and eye-bright, good for the blinde and dumbe. > > And manie thousand more I cannot name > Of hearbs and flowers that in gardens grow, > > I have for thee, and coneyees that be tame, > Young rabbits, white as swan, and blacke as crow; > Some speckled here and there with daintie spots: > And more I have two mylch and milke-white goates. > > All these and more Ile give thee for thy love, > If these and more may tyce thy love away: > I have a pigeon-house, in it a dove, > Which I love more than mortall tongue can say; > And last of all, I’ll give thee a little lamb > To play withal, new-weanid from his dam. > > But it thou wilt not pittie my complaint, > My teares, nor vowes, nor oathes, made to thy beautie: > What shall I do but languish, die, or faint, > Since thous dost scorne my teares, and my soules duetie: > And teares contemned, vowes and oaths must faile, > And where teares cannot, nothing can prevaile. > > Compare the love of faire Queene Guendolin > With mine, and thou shalt see how she doth love thee: > I love thee for thy qualities divine, > But shee doth love another swaine above thee: > I love thee for thy gifts, she for hir pleasure; > I for thy vertue, she for beauties treasure. > > And alwaies, I am sure, it cannot last. > But sometime Nature will denie those dimples: > Instead of beautie, when thy blossom’s past, > Thy face will be deformed full of wrinckles; > Then she that lov’d thee for thy beauties sake, > When age drawes on, thy love will soone forsake. > > But I that lov’d thee for thy gifts divine, > In the December of thy beauties waning, > Will still admire with joy those lovely eine, > That now behold me with their beauties baning. > Though Januarie will never come again, > Yet Aprill yeres will come in showers of raine. > > When will my May come, that I may embrace thee? > When will the hower be of my soules joying? > Why dost thou seeke in mirth still to disgrace mee? > Whose mirth’s my health, whose griefe’s my hearts annoying: > > Thy bane my bale, thy blisse my blessedness, > Thy ill my hell, thy weale my welfare is. > Thus doo I honour thee that I love thee so, > And love thee so, that so do honour thee > Much more than anie mortall man doth know, > Or can discerne by love or jealozie: > But if that thou disdainst my loving ever, > Oh happie I, if I had loved never! 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