# I'm new here. Let the hazing commence. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 20, 2005, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092 "2005-10-20T15:34:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![FlyingCowOfDoom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyingcowofdoom/32/21776_2.png) [@FlyingCowOfDoom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingCowOfDoom)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/1 "2005-10-20T15:34:53Z")
Hi everyone! Just paid the $$ for a subscription. I’ve been lurking around the board for a couple weeks now, and I enjoy the boards, so I figured it was time to cross over to the dark side. I’m not sure what kind of initiation I have to endure, like having sex with sheep or what, but I’m ready. Do your worst! 🙂 –FCOD ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/2 "2005-10-20T15:43:06Z")
They aren’t females, and you aren’t the one who makes love to them… Anyone bring the rum? ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/3 "2005-10-20T16:15:36Z")
Sex with Sheep is Hal’s thing, you’ll need to come up with your own. 😉 Welcome and enjoy. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/4 "2005-10-20T16:18:55Z")
I can tell you what you have to do to become a fully accepted member of the community, but first you need to buy a 12 lb. ham and send it to me. Not Black Boar! It must be smoked under the watchful eye of a wizened Scotsman. I will tell you the rest after. YOU MUST FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTIONS TO THE LETTER!!!@!!7 ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/5 "2005-10-20T16:24:28Z")
Welcome!! Enjoy your stay! Leave the sheep alone - **Hal** gets jealous. Don’t step on the cats. Would you care for a margarita? With or without salt? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/6 "2005-10-20T16:26:32Z")
Welcome to the boards! _smooch_ We tend to go with more… _aquatic_ animals around here… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![FlyingCowOfDoom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyingcowofdoom/32/21776_2.png) [@FlyingCowOfDoom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingCowOfDoom)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/7 "2005-10-20T16:42:10Z")
Hmm…well these are all good ideas, but I think I’ll go with the 'rita for now. Salt please. –FCOD ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/8 "2005-10-20T18:29:45Z")
Sass from the newbie, 'eh? We’ll see about that…it’s a jug of Wasabiritas and a room full of Squcks for you! :: pulls lever, drops \*\*FlyingCowOfDoom \*\* down to lower torture room level :: ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/9 "2005-10-20T18:32:50Z")
Hey **FlyingCowOfDoom** , I just noticed your location. What county? I’m in Monmouth. ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/10 "2005-10-20T18:35:43Z")
Welcome, **FlyingCowofDoom** - are you **sure** you want me to do my worst?! 😃 :eek: ---
**Author:** ![FlyingCowOfDoom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyingcowofdoom/32/21776_2.png) [@FlyingCowOfDoom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingCowOfDoom)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/11 "2005-10-20T18:44:46Z")
> [@jrfranchi](#): > > Hey **FlyingCowOfDoom** , I just noticed your location. What county? I’m in Monmouth. I live in Bergen county, but I work in Somerset county. Yeah, it’s an hour and fifteen minute drive twice a day. Hal: You’ll be happy to know that the first post I ever read on the boards was yours. Can you guess which one? 😃 –FCOD ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/12 "2005-10-20T18:59:38Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > Sass from the newbie, 'eh? We’ll see about that…it’s a jug of Wasabiritas and a room full of Squcks for you! > > :: pulls lever, drops \*\*FlyingCowOfDoom \*\* down to lower torture room level :: **squck squck squck squck squck squck squck** ---
**Author:** ![dare\_devil007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@dare\_devil007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dare_devil007)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/13 "2005-10-20T19:17:51Z")
Hi there, **FlyingCow**! Welcome to the SDMB. I don’t know what the initiation process is because I never had to go through with it myself…at least, I don’t think I did…I just realized that they probably shot me full of some drug that causes amnesia! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/14 "2005-10-20T19:28:53Z")
In Soviet Russia, sheep have sex with _you_! ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/15 "2005-10-20T19:29:14Z")
> [@dare\_devil007\_](#): > > Hi there, **FlyingCow**! Welcome to the SDMB. I don’t know what the initiation process is because I never had to go through with it myself…at least, I don’t think I did…I just realized that they probably shot me full of some drug that causes amnesia! :eek: Nah, they have that little Brain washing device from MIB. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/16 "2005-10-20T19:33:55Z")
Welcome, **FCoD**! There is no sheep. The calamari was cancelled. There is no need for lubricants. This is not a Torture Room. It’s a Parliamentary Library. That noise is nothing. You are Perfectly Safe. ---
**Author:** ![FlyingCowOfDoom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyingcowofdoom/32/21776_2.png) [@FlyingCowOfDoom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingCowOfDoom)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/17 "2005-10-20T19:42:56Z")
All of a sudden I feel very very nervous… –FCOD ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/18 "2005-10-20T20:36:05Z")
Hullo **FlyingCowOfDoom**. Be welcome. Enjoy your stay. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/19 "2005-10-20T20:40:15Z")
> [@FlyingCowOfDoom](#): > > I live in Bergen county, but I work in Somerset county. I was in Somerset County twice, in the late 1980’s-early '90’s. For a couple of days each time. If you don’t know which **SDMB** meme I’m invoking, you’ll learn soon enough! ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/20 "2005-10-20T20:42:25Z")
Wait, wait, wait, wait. If you’re _asking_ to be hazed, then you must be some sort of masochist. Therefore, in order to make you suffer, I shall _not_ haze you. So there. 😛 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092.md?page=2)