# I'm new here. Let the hazing commence. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 20, 2005, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092 "2005-10-20T15:34:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/21 "2005-10-20T20:47:56Z")
Welcome to the SDMB! You say you lurked long enough to understand what goes on here… and still joined? Mmmm. _Not_ a good sign. Welcome, none the less 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/22 "2005-10-20T20:57:15Z")
Welcome from a fellow Bergen County resident. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/23 "2005-10-20T20:59:10Z")
> [@FlyingCowOfDoom](#): > > All of a sudden I feel very very nervous… Why? 😕 After all, There is no sheep. The calamari was cancelled. There is no need for lubricants. This is not a Torture Room. It’s a Parliamentary Library. That noise is nothing. You are Perfectly Safe. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/24 "2005-10-20T21:02:31Z")
Here’s your margarita - I made it a double. You’re going to need it. The cat hair won’t hurt anything, it’s just a garnish. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/25 "2005-10-20T21:14:58Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > Wait, wait, wait, wait. > > If you’re _asking_ to be hazed, then you must be some sort of masochist. > > Therefore, in order to make you suffer, I shall _not_ haze you. So there. 😛 A masochist says “Hurt me!” A sadist says “No!” ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2005, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/26 "2005-10-20T22:20:22Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > We tend to go with more… _aquatic_ animals around here… 😉 That’s what I always hear, but do I get any action? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/27 "2005-10-21T01:31:13Z")
> [@Fish](#): > > That’s what I always hear, but do I get any action? 😛 Are those… tentacle marks? ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/28 "2005-10-21T01:41:46Z")
Alright. Enough of this namby-pamby socializing with the n00b. Bring forth the _COMFY CHAIR_ :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/29 "2005-10-21T01:51:38Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > Alright. Enough of this namby-pamby socializing with the n00b. Bring forth the > > _COMFY CHAIR_ :eek: Dear, God, no. Not the _COMFY CHAIR!_ :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/30 "2005-10-21T01:54:29Z")
Awesome User Name! Welcome to the Boards! What finally brought you out of the proverbially closet and into the Light and Truth of The Dope? ---
**Author:** ![marque\_elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@marque\_elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marque_elf)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/31 "2005-10-21T02:08:48Z")
Welcome. I assure the pain is only momentary and one day you’ll thank us for it. You are getting sleepy. There are no goats here…nary a goat. The noises that you think you hear behind you, the power saw, the hideous high-pitched cackling, the sudden smell of chunky peanut butter…none of that is real. Just relax. This doesn’t take long. There’ll be no lasting scars. O-kay. I think he’s ready. The wasabirita did it’s job. Get him! ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/32 "2005-10-21T02:20:07Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Dear, God, no. Not the _COMFY CHAIR!_ :eek: Now – you will stay in the \*Comfy Chair \* until lunch time, with only a cup of coffee at eleven. ---
**Author:** ![Otanx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Otanx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otanx)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/33 "2005-10-21T11:08:04Z")
Welcome to the boards. I got here a few weeks ago, and I am still sore from the hazing. Oh, and **Snakescatlady** makes the best 'ritas. -Otanx ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/34 "2005-10-21T13:27:56Z")
> [@Otanx](#): > > Welcome to the boards. I got here a few weeks ago, and I am still sore from the hazing. Oh, and **Snakescatlady** makes the best 'ritas. > > -Otanx ::blushes, curtseys:: Thank you! ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/35 "2005-10-21T13:41:44Z")
> [@jrfranchi](#): > > Now – you will stay in the \*Comfy Chair \* until lunch time, with only a cup of coffee at eleven. No! No! _hides in horror_ Anything but that! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/36 "2005-10-21T14:15:13Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > No! No! _hides in horror_ Anything but that! Yes. And there will be …_biscuits_, as well. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/37 "2005-10-21T17:20:27Z")
Anyone called the Flying Cow of Doom is OK in my book. Welcome! ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/38 "2005-10-21T17:25:23Z")
My advice is to stay seated, they can’t get to the hurty-parts if you don’t stand. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/39 "2005-10-21T17:32:02Z")
> [@mr bus guy](#): > > My advice is to stay seated, they can’t get to the hurty-parts if you don’t stand. Yeah, right, like no one’s ever tried _that_. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![FlyingCowOfDoom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyingcowofdoom/32/21776_2.png) [@FlyingCowOfDoom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingCowOfDoom)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2005, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092/40 "2005-10-21T18:11:05Z")
Based upon what I read while lurking, I figured that I was going to have to endure some sort of torture as a result of posting on the boards. I’m not a masochist, I’m just trying to get it all over with now. –FCOD p.s. Excellent 'rita 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-here-let-the-hazing-commence/327092.md?page=1)