# I'm New...Humor Me **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 10, 2002, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-humor-me/141823 "2002-12-10T19:34:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![mallen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9c0ed/32.png) [@mallen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mallen)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-humor-me/141823/1 "2002-12-10T19:34:11Z")
I just got yet another one of those annoying lemme-get-to-know-you emails so I’ve decided to inflict it upon all of you. Please answer the stupid dorky questions so that I may get to know you all. Thank you. 1. What’s the last movie you saw in a theatre? 2. What book are you reading now? 3. Favourite board game? 4. Favourite scents? 5. Comfort food? 6. What’s your favourite sound? 7. What’s your favourite magazine? 8. What’s the worst feeling in the world? 9. What’s the first thing you think about in the morning? (I know it’s me but I’m putting this question in anyway) 10. What was your first car? 11. Which person in history would you most like to spend an afternoon with? 12. What’s on your christmas list? 13. Cybersex: Yea or nay (don’t worry, everyone will lie on this one) 14. What’s the best feeling in the world? (I’m finding it interesting that this came right after the cybersex q) Okay, there you go folks, expose yourself to me. :o ---
**Author:** ![XJETGIRLX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9fc29f/32.png) [@XJETGIRLX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XJETGIRLX)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-humor-me/141823/2 "2002-12-10T20:07:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mallen \* > \*\*Okay, there you go folks, expose yourself to me. > :o \*\* What, you’re not going to go first? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Loneraven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c0e974/32.png) [@Loneraven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loneraven)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-humor-me/141823/3 "2002-12-10T20:11:17Z")
She’s right… you should go first… ---
**Author:** ![mallen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9c0ed/32.png) [@mallen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mallen)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-humor-me/141823/4 "2002-12-10T20:17:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by XJETGIRLX \* > \*\*What, you’re not going to go first? > > 😉 \*\* Thought I did. :wally 1. What’s the last movie you saw in a theatre? Bowling for Columbine 2. What book are you reading now? Blackhouse-Stephen King/Peter Straub(it sucks) 3. Favourite board game? Trivial Pursuit, Scrabble, Pictionary 4. Favourite scents? Chanel #5, Lilacs 5. Comfort food? pie & icecream 6. What’s your favourite sound? The Ocean 7. What’s your favourite magazine? don’t have one, this is where you not judging a book by it’s cover is wrong, whichever one has a pretty picture(or at least one I like) 8. What’s the worst feeling in the world? unexpected death of a loved one 9. What’s the first thing you think about in the morning? do I have something clean to wear today, then sex 10. What was your first car? still don’t drive, so no car 11. Which person in history would you most like to spend an afternoon with? there really isn’t anyone I can think of offhand 12. What’s on your christmas list? nothing, maybe peace on earth 13. Cybersex: Yea or nay (don’t worry, everyone will lie on this one) nay, and I’m not lying 14. What’s the best feeling in the world? helping someone, love, good conversation with great friends, hometeam winning a championship(although I’ve yet to experience this one, but I’m not losing hope) ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-humor-me/141823/5 "2002-12-10T20:18:26Z")
Hey, **mallen** , don’t let the bastards wear you down. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![mallen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9c0ed/32.png) [@mallen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mallen)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-humor-me/141823/6 "2002-12-10T20:21:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Winston\_Smith \* > \*\*Hey, **mallen** , don’t let the bastards wear you down. 😉 \*\* Thanks, but I think they’ve won already. I’m going back to my hiding spot. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-humor-me/141823/7 "2002-12-10T20:22:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mallen \* > \*\*1. What’s the last movie you saw in a theatre? > 2. What book are you reading now? > 3. Favourite board game? > 4. Favourite scents? > 5. Comfort food? > 6. What’s your favourite sound? > 7. What’s your favourite magazine? > 8. What’s the worst feeling in the world? > 9. What’s the first thing you think about in the morning? (I know it’s me but I’m putting this question in anyway) > 10. What was your first car? > 11. Which person in history would you most like to spend an afternoon with? > 12. What’s on your christmas list? > 13. Cybersex: Yea or nay (don’t worry, everyone will lie on this one) > 14. What’s the best feeling in the world? (I’m finding it interesting that this came right after the cybersex q) > > Okay, there you go folks, expose yourself to me. > :o \*\* Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets McNally’s Puzzle Trivial Pursuit and Taboo night-blooming jasmine PB&J Right now, Manheim Steamroller Xmas Music Reader’s Digest Knowing you f—ed up big time It’s too early to get up Chevy Nova that stalled every time I turned a corner Julius Caesar Nothing…I’m a mom. We don’t ask for things. Nope. And I’m not lying. Knowing a did a good job. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-humor-me/141823/8 "2002-12-10T20:25:11Z")
1. What’s the last movie you saw in a theatre? The Ring. 2. What book are you reading now? I’m reading: A demon haunted world, Starship Troopers, Evolutionary Wars, Return of the King, and Case Closed. 3. Favourite board game? Hmmm…That would probably be either Jubmondo or Trivial Pursuit. 4. Favourite scents? My SO’s. 5. Comfort food? Sushi, although something disgustingly fatty and loaded with calories can suffice. 6. What’s your favourite sound? " **I’M CU$%ING!!**" 7. What’s your favourite magazine? Maxim. Hands down. 8. What’s the worst feeling in the world? Had to be when I got a line drive right to my sac. Good God, I cramp up just thinking about that… :eek: 9. What’s the first thing you think about in the morning? It’s not you actually. It’s usually, “must hit buzzer…must hit buzzer…CHRIST where is buzzer??” 10. What was your first car? 1984 Jetta GL. 11. Which person in history would you most like to spend an afternoon with? Have to be Jesus, to confirm God and what not, shoot the shit, talk about loose outer wear. 12. What’s on your christmas list? It’s too long to post here, so I will say only this: A good book to read about the philosophy of God (you know, in case number 11 comes true, I’d want to not sound like an idiot). 13. Cybersex: Yea or nay (don’t worry, everyone will lie on this one) No. and I’m not lying. I prefer the real thing. Not to mention, I don’t fancy the idea of a 900lb disgusting wide load on the other computer. 14. What’s the best feeling in the world? I’m going to assume this is aside from orgasm. Hmmm…I’d say a good massage, after a long hard day. With soft music playing. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-humor-me/141823/9 "2002-12-10T20:25:21Z")
Hey, I’ll play 1. What’s the last movie you saw in a theatre? Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Pretty good, too damned long. 2. What book are you reading now? Red Dragon 3. Favourite board game? Cranium- love it! 4. Favourite scents? My husband. Vaseline Intensive Care lotion. Clean laundry. 5. Comfort food? KFC, mashed potatoes, soup 6. What’s your favourite sound? Music 7. What’s your favourite magazine? Taste of Home cooking magazine 8. What’s the worst feeling in the world? Realizing you’ve lost something major (a friendship, a relationship, a wallet. That panicky feeling) 9. What’s the first thing you think about in the morning? COFFEE, stat 10. What was your first car? a Plymouth Valare 11. Which person in history would you most like to spend an afternoon with? Tough one. Jonas Salk 12. What’s on your christmas list? I could use new sneakers, a Barnes and Noble gift card, and some new pants. 13. Cybersex: Yea or nay I won’t lie- I used to think it was kinda groovy, now I think it’s pretty silly. Nay, I suppose. 14. What’s the best feeling in the world? For me, it’s when I’ve accomplished a goal I was really working hard toward. ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-humor-me/141823/10 "2002-12-10T20:26:00Z")
Ok, I’ll play, only cos I feel sorry for ya though… 😛 1. Signs I think, it sucked. 2. The online version of the Straight Dope Message Boards. 3. Sex. What? I play it whan I’m bored… oh, heh. 4. Napalm, Formaldahyde, The blood of unbaptised babies, that sort of thing… 5. Guinness is food right? 6. That “kerplunk - trundle trundle trundle - clonk” when you sink a ball in pool. 7. Wolverine. 8. You know when you put your hand down the back of the sofa, and it’s all buscuit crumby and full of cat hairs? That feels icky. 9. Yes, you of course… :rolleyes: 10. Owned or had sex in? 11. Depends, Jack the Ripper? (well, he only worked nights, so his afternoons would be free). 12. **Twisty** 13. My answer would be irrelevant if I’m lying. 14. Sex. Shouldn’t there be 15 questions, aren’t there always “sensible” numbers of these things? Anyways, Welcome to the Dope. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![XJETGIRLX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9fc29f/32.png) [@XJETGIRLX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XJETGIRLX)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-humor-me/141823/11 "2002-12-10T20:28:55Z")
Alrighty, here goes: 1. What’s the last movie you saw in a theatre? Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets 2. What book are you reading now? The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas 3. Favourite board game? Scrabble 4. Favourite scents? tobacco and coffee grounds 5. Comfort food? buttermilk biscuits with peanut butter and syrup mixed over them 6. What’s your favourite sound? tattoo gun 7. What’s your favourite magazine? [Inside Kung Fu](http://cfw2.com/show.asp?content_id=943) 8. What’s the worst feeling in the world? Having to choose between happiness and security 9. What’s the first thing you think about in the morning? Think? In the morning? Are you crazy? 10. What was your first car? ['74 Monte Carlo](http://www.musclecarnationals.com/gallery/monte/monte72-2.jpg) 11. Which person in history would you most like to spend an afternoon with? Ayn Rand 12. What’s on your christmas list? Ink 13. Cybersex: Yea or nay Once upon a time, yea. I don’t have the time nor the inclination anymore. (no lie) 14. What’s the best feeling in the world? Knowing that you are needed and loved ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-humor-me/141823/12 "2002-12-10T20:35:06Z")
1. Black Hawk Down (We don’t get out much since the baby arrived) 2. Tom Clancy’s Op Center 3. HuggerMugger 4. My Wife’s hair 5. Pizza 6. The old “Emergency Alert” sound, but not the new one. 7. I liked _Omni_, but haven’t seen it in years. 8. Knowing your SO is hurt, and that it’s All Your Fault. 9. My 5-month-old daughter 10. A 1964 Mustang, but I never got to drive it (long story) 11. The Marquis De Sade 12. Pink Floyd, The Wall (on CD) 13. I’m holding out for Holodeck Sex™ 14. Family Hug with my Wife and Daughter ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-humor-me/141823/13 "2002-12-10T20:40:21Z")
\*\*1. What’s the last movie you saw in a theatre? \*\* Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets **2. What book are you reading now?** I don’t want to say. I mean, er, it’s nothing intellectual or anything. I’d rather quote a line from it: > [@](#): > > He stormed her virginal castle until it lay conquered… (yes, I had a grand laugh when I read that line) \*\*3. Favourite board game? \*\* I haven’t played one in forever…the family does Mille Bornes at holidays, but that’s more of a card game. \*\*4. Favourite scents? \*\* Vanilla \*\*5. Comfort food? \*\* Chili \*\*6. What’s your favourite sound? \*\* Sound? I don’t think I have a favorite sound. \*\*7. What’s your favourite magazine? \*\* I don’t read many…the only one I read regularly \*\*8. What’s the worst feeling in the world? \*\* That “oh shit, I screwed up” feeling. \*\*9. What’s the first thing you think about in the morning? (I know it’s me but I’m putting this question in anyway) \*\* Lately? Damn, I overslept. Oh well, nothing I have to do anyway. \*\*10. What was your first car? \*\* '77 Hornet station wagon with brown wood paneling and one orange door. **11. Which person in history would you most like to spend an afternoon with?** I’d say Jesus, just to see what he was really like - I mean, there’s a huge influence on history on the part of his followers. So what was it about the man? \*\*12. What’s on your christmas list? \*\* A new laptop **13. Cybersex: Yea or nay (don’t worry, everyone will lie on this one)** Nah - it’s like a one-night stand: not my style. \*\*14. What’s the best feeling in the world? (I’m finding it interesting that this came right after the cybersex q) \*\* An afternoon nap - that slow waking up that comes from it, and being all warm and cozy, and not having to get up, but doing it because you’re energized and ready to deal with the rest of the day. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-humor-me/141823/14 "2002-12-10T20:46:18Z")
1. What’s the last movie you saw in a theatre? Lethal Weapon 2. What book are you reading now? The King of Dreams, The Fifth Elephant, Oracle 8 PL/SQL Programming 3. Favourite board game? Monopoly 4. Favourite scents? Honeysuckle, roasting turkey 5. Comfort food? Grilled cheese and tomato soup 6. What’s your favourite sound? Richard Thompson playing guitar 7. What’s your favourite magazine? Skeptical Inquirer 8. What’s the worst feeling in the world? Oh no. 9. What’s the first thing you think about in the morning? (I know it’s me but I’m putting this question in anyway) Did I remember to buy coffee yesterday? 10. What was your first car? Audi Fox 11. Which person in history would you most like to spend an afternoon with? Eric Ambler 12. What’s on your christmas list? Simpson’s second season 13. Cybersex: Yea or nay (don’t worry, everyone will lie on this one) No 14. What’s the best feeling in the world? (I’m finding it interesting that this came right after the cybersex q) Oh yes. Did this help with your school project at all? ---
**Author:** ![Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/2bfe46/32.png) [@Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xavier)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-humor-me/141823/15 "2002-12-10T21:00:50Z")
> [@](#): > > 1. What’s your favourite magazine? Skeptical Inquirer No wayyyyyyyy. I didn’t know anyone besides me liked this journal. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-humor-me/141823/16 "2002-12-10T21:01:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by This Year’s Model \* > \*\*1. What’s the last movie you saw in a theatre? > Lethal Weapon \*\* Lethal Weapon 1???:eek: Wow! ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-humor-me/141823/17 "2002-12-10T21:05:11Z")
1. What’s the last movie you saw in a theatre? Die another Day (twice) 2. What book are you reading now? D&D Player’s Handbook 3. Favourite board game? Trivial Pursuit 4. Favourite scents? I have no sense of smell 5. Comfort food? Beer 6. What’s your favourite sound? A full symphony, whilst seated in the tuba section 7. What’s your favourite magazine? Consumer Reports 8. What’s the worst feeling in the world? Knowing that I have hurt someone’s feelings for no reason 9. What’s the first thing you think about in the morning? “The hell time is it?” 10. What was your first car? Dodge Dart 11. Which person in history would you most like to spend an afternoon with? My grandfather 12. What’s on your christmas list? Best Buy gift certificates, DVDs, a new helmet, Arms & Armor of the Medieval Knight, Armor from the Battle of Wisby (1361) 13. Cybersex: Yea or nay? Nay verily nay 14. What’s the best feeling in the world? Knowing that I have helped someone who was without hope ---
**Author:** ![Ol\_Gaffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Ol\_Gaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ol_Gaffer)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-humor-me/141823/18 "2002-12-10T21:19:25Z")
1. What’s the last movie you saw in a theatre? Barbershop 2. What book are you reading now? Bully for Brontosaurus by Stephen Jay Gould 3. Favourite board game? Hungry, Hungry Hippos 4. Favourite scents? Freshly ground coffee, wood smoke 5. Comfort food? Mushy carrots with raspberry sauce. Thank god I don’t need to be comforted too often. 6. What’s your favourite sound? My children laughing. 7. What’s your favourite magazine? Discovery or Popular Mechanics 8. What’s the worst feeling in the world? I have no control over continental drift. Damn. 9. What’s the first thing you think about in the morning? Hey hon, want to help me get rid of this morning wood? 10. What was your first car? 1979 Mazda GLC 11. Which person in history would you most like to spend an afternoon with? Tolkien. Does the darn thing have wings or not? 12. What’s on your christmas list? Brake kit for my Land Cruiser. 13. Cybersex: Yea or nay? If you mean interacting with someone else then nay. If you mean looking at page after awful page of porn, then…maybe. 14. What’s the best feeling in the world? Warm bed, warm bodies, cold air. ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-humor-me/141823/19 "2002-12-10T21:28:16Z")
1. What’s the last movie you saw in a theatre? Goldmember (walked out 1/4 of the way through though!) 2. What book are you reading now? Black House by Stephen King 3. Favourite board game? Monopoly 4. Favourite scents? My ex-girlfriend, new-car smell 5. Comfort food? Popcorn 6. What’s your favourite sound? V12 Ferrari engine 7. What’s your favourite magazine? New Scientist 8. What’s the worst feeling in the world? Looking back on a good thing and knowing you screwed up (hence the ex-gf above for example) 9. What’s the first thing you think about in the morning? Hope I’m not late for work 10. What was your first car? Ford Escort 11. Which person in history would you most like to spend an afternoon with? Jesus 12. What’s on your christmas list? 13. Cybersex: Yea or nay Yea, kind of, when I was younger 14. What’s the best feeling in the world? Knowing you’re loved by someone special, and loving them back. ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-humor-me/141823/20 "2002-12-10T21:29:51Z")
Oh, number 12 was blank because I haven’t really thought about it yet - far too early for that! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new-humor-me/141823.md?page=2)