# I'm new **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 2, 2000, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405 "2000-02-02T19:01:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405/21 "2000-02-02T20:21:00Z")
Welcome aboard, Y2S. One of the first things you should know is that you’re surrounded by in-jokes. There’s no way around it. Stick around long enough, and you’ll get in on a lot of them. (Hell, Uke just made one about one of my posts.) Next, there’s a list of questions that you should _never_ ask. Nothing about -gry words, nothing about parkways/driveways, and nothing about cherry flavors (that’s being taken care of right now). There’s more, I’m sure, but I won’t take all the fun out of it for you… We’ve also got some minor celebrities around here. We’re all generally nice people, any activity in BBQ Pit threads notwithstanding. Um, not much else, other than you may want to hang around a bit before posting to get a feel for the topics and the mood. Oh, and Falcon really likes to be called “Button”. Just ask Suzeanne. * * * We interrupt this thread to increase dramatic tension. ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405/22 "2000-02-02T20:35:00Z")
Welcome to you, Above all have fun, and don’t take anyone here too seriously if they fly off the handle at you. Also, come into our chatroom at any time 🙂 * * * If you feel that you must suffer, then plan your suffering carefully–as you choose your dreams, as you conceive your ancestors. ---
**Author:** ![drollman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f04885/32.png) [@drollman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drollman)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405/23 "2000-02-02T20:42:00Z")
I’ll put in my 2 cents ($1.73 Canadian) and say howdy! Advice: Visit long Visit often It doesn’t matter if they’re laughing with you or laughing at you…as long as they’re laughing! Admire CanadianSue Envy Uncle Beer And always recognize Satan for the highly intelligent, ready-with-a-quip, gimme-a-smile. “Yer Pal” Prince of Darkness that he is… And be sure to come up with a better signature than… * * * With God as my witness, I thought turkey’s could fly. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405/24 "2000-02-02T20:57:00Z")
Always wear sunscreen…nah, even I won’t go there. If you think you heard a fact somewhere sometime, check it before posting it. “I saw it on Dateline four weeks ago” tends to annoy people. Mullinator wasn’t kidding, I have never seen so many instances of the phrase “I agree with you 100%, Satan” used since I last saw \* Rosemary’s Baby \*. Those toilet seat shields make excellent face oil blotters. (previously un-used, of course) All other advice is being saved in the event I ever have children. I want to be able to tell them \*\* something \*\* new and exciting. * * * One must have chaos in oneself to give birth to a dancing star. -Nietzche ---
**Author:** ![Studi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Studi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Studi)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405/25 "2000-02-02T21:01:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Anybody have any advice for me? Send me your money…really. Uh, everybody else here does, uh, of course. Studi * * * Don’t _speak_ ill of your enemies; plot it. ---
**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405/26 "2000-02-02T21:03:00Z")
Nice to meet you!!! Welcome to the board. Hope your stay with us is an amusing if not enlightening one. 🙂 * * * I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature! ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405/27 "2000-02-02T21:14:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Welcome aboard, have a lot of fun. And make sure someone explains the part about posting provocative photos of yourself within your first 100 posts. Geeze, man. I did that. Why do you think we went from 5233 members to 4360? > [@](#): > > Mullinator wasn’t kidding, I have never seen so many instances of the phrase “I agree with you 100%, Satan” used since I last saw Rosemary’s Baby . This is the second funniest thing I’ve read this week (The funniest quotes are in the Dem flame war thread in the pit). Welcome aboard! * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Glitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/0ea827/32.png) [@Glitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glitch)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405/28 "2000-02-02T21:19:00Z")
Hi. Since all the good advice is taken allow me to impart this [sarcasm galore]very useful[/sarcasm galore] fact to you: Other than in modern fencing, in sword fight never ever lead with a thrust. Very important. ---
**Author:** ![Glitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/0ea827/32.png) [@Glitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glitch)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405/29 "2000-02-02T21:20:00Z")
Forgot my sig (actually, I am just padding my post count). * * * “Glitch … download” - Glitch’s final action. _sniff_ ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405/30 "2000-02-02T21:26:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Falcon: > \*\* PLUTO! I’m hurt! > > Is it _my_ fault I like this nick…_wandering off grumbling_ And FTR, Y2Sandgirl, I am a girl and AuraSeer is a guy. Just thoiught we’d get THAT cleared out of way. > \*\* I didn’t say that **I** was upset. It was someone else. He just looks like me. ( **Y2S** , this is how you hijack a thread.) It’s surprising how important it is to us to know the gender of the person you’re talking to. I once had a psych professor tell me that that was the very first thing you noticed about someone when they approached. And I have personally felt uncomfortable when I’ve met a particularly androgynous person whose gender I was unable to determine. Maybe that’s why some people who dress to “shock” the staid sensiblities of the public sometimes deliberately disguise gender clues. I’ve still not forgiven **TVeblen** for deceiving me about her gender for a long time. However she seems to be doing very well in the SDMB awards contest so perhaps I’d better make up to her before she gets a swelled head. ## (Welcome to Havana, Senor!) “pluto … a seriously demented but oddly addictive presence here.” – TVeblen ---
**Author:** ![Imthecowgodmoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Imthecowgodmoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imthecowgodmoo)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405/31 "2000-02-02T21:30:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Oh, and people get a little irritated if your username doesn’t clearly reflect your gender. yup, I gotta agree with that. I figured the ‘god’ part in my name would imply that I’m male, but noooooo, I’m a girl becuse I put ‘cow’ in there too. Dammit, I’m a guy! A GUY! * * * “People must think it must be fun to be a super genuis, But they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.” – Calvin and Hobbes (\_\_) _/_ ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405/32 "2000-02-02T21:32:00Z")
Y2S: Hi! And welcome!!! “Big Smiley Face Here but I don’t want to p\*ss off Chief Scott so I won’t use the icon” M2U. Hey - we match!!! “Ditto - don’t feel like typing it again” ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405/33 "2000-02-02T21:43:00Z")
Welcome aboard. ---
**Author:** ![inertia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d07c76/32.png) [@inertia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inertia)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405/34 "2000-02-02T22:33:00Z")
Don’t take any wooden nickels. Don’t pet a burning dog. Use one big word instead of a lot of little ones whenever possible. Look both ways before crossing the street. Save water, shower with a friend. Do IT as much as possible. You can take the smell of skunk out with tomato juice. After eating King Crab legs, wash you hands with the remains of the lemon. Don’t eat garlic with your SO until after you are married. Don’t take candy from strangers. Question everything. Be Nice. Continue your education. Leave everything in better condition than when you found it. sPeLlInG aNd PuNcTuAtIoN **aRe** ImPoRtAnT! Listen to different types of music when presented the opportunity. If you have trouble keeping up with Lib and Veb and David and company, study. Take the Bricker challenges (and no peeking at the answers.) Get a cat (or a dog if you must.) Felch as many people as possible. Don’t take nuttin’ off’a nobody. Work like you’re going to live to 100 and party like you’re going to die tomorrow. Stop. Look around. Appreciate the things you have. Appreciate the things that you don’t have. Smell the roses. Eat the roses. If you’re really drunk, drink a lot of water before you go to sleep. Soft boiled egg upon waking. Trust, but don’t be a fool. Realize that the whole world does not revolve around you. Realize that other people think the world revolves around them. Mind your own business. Don’t goof off on this message board while you’re supposed to be working. * * * A legend in my own mind. ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2000, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405/35 "2000-02-02T22:54:00Z")
Hello and welcome! I’m a “newbie”, too and I’ve survived. I’ve watched a lot of others crash and burn, but if you follow everyone’s advice, you’ll be fine. (Requisite smilie ahead 🙂 ). BTW, I’m female, but that would’ve been easy to figure out, since I’m addicted to talking about my hubby (see, there I go again)! * * * “Neil, Neil, orange peel!” ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2000, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405/36 "2000-02-03T03:04:00Z")
Oh for crying out loud, at least come back & see if there are any responses to your message. * * * “I have gathered a posie of other men’s flowers, and nothing but the thread that binds them is mine own.” ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2000, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405/37 "2000-02-03T03:07:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by handy: > \*\* > Oh for crying out loud, at least come back & see if there are any responses to your message. > > \*\* Perhaps y’all frightened her away? Catrandom ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2000, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405/38 "2000-02-03T03:12:00Z")
Oh jees! make me mad, I dont bite! Ignore them, I already like you anyway, you posted on my yahoo thread, very early on in you career…I feel really special. My advice…stay out of the pit,and DONT ask any questions that can result in an answer related to pus. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2000, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405/39 "2000-02-03T03:56:00Z")
Actually, **Y2Sandgirl** , you are _required_ by one of our bylaws (that I just made up) to post here at least one more time to identify the disolute poster who introduced you to this sordid mess. (BTW, is that **Y2S and girl** or [Y2 Sand girl\*\*?) * * * Tom~ ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2000, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405/40 "2000-02-03T03:58:00Z")
hhmmmphhh (BTW, is that **Y2S and girl** or **Y2 Sand girl**?) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-new/13405.md?page=3)