# I'm no racist, but... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 21, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-no-racist-but/564995 "2010-12-21T20:00:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Candyman74](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Candyman74](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Candyman74)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-no-racist-but/564995/21 "2010-12-22T02:55:28Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Not a damned thing, just throwing it out there. I’m no racist… but I do like mustard on my hot dog. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-no-racist-but/564995/22 "2010-12-22T03:14:00Z")
Can I have some fried kitty and beer? Beer goes with everything. Chocolate cake, kitties, turtle soup, Belgians… ---
**Author:** ![Grayson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c77e96/32.png) [@Grayson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grayson)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-no-racist-but/564995/23 "2010-12-22T03:55:14Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Listen, Humans ain’t exactly scarce. Why do we put up with shitheads rather than use them for fishbait, or why not, food. All this boo-hooing about prisoner’s rights, privacy rights, special rights…Humbug! Whatever happened to good old tormenting the round peg in the village of square holes? I agree with this to an extent. I believe that if the case is akin to someone **morbidly confessing** (think: Albert Fish and his letters) to the first degree murder of a toddler that they raped, brutalized and mutilated, we **should** return the favor and give them some kind of torture…Just in the name of fairness. But overall? I don’t think it’s necessary. What if we torment a criminal and found out that they’re truly innocent? > [@](#): > > And y’know what else? We need to stop whinging about “collateral damage” in wars. MoFo’s had the right idea back in the early 20th century–war should be very unpleasant for the constituency of the leadership that rocked the international boat. Betcha Iraq woulda turned out different if the locals knew how bad we were gonna make their lives if they didn’t do something about their leader (whom we installed, but trouble us not with trifles). Maybe, rather than wooing the Afghanis to be our friends and help us overthrow their oppressive (to us) leadership we should have explained: give us OBL or we carpet bomb your crummy little villages and torch your poppy fields. We’re supposed to be Global Police, not Rioters. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-no-racist-but/564995/24 "2010-12-22T03:56:39Z")
> [@Candyman74](#): > > I’m no racist… but I do like mustard on my hot dog. Shoot, son, that just makes you Uh-Mer-i-cun! ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-no-racist-but/564995/25 "2010-12-22T04:00:29Z")
> [@Candyman74](#): > > I’m no racist… but I do like mustard on my hot dog. You truely are the most interesting man… ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-no-racist-but/564995/26 "2010-12-22T04:58:55Z")
> [@Candyman74](#): > > I’m no racist… but I do like mustard on my hot dog. Wait… that wouldn’t be YELLOW mustard would it? Pfft, you are SO racist! ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-no-racist-but/564995/27 "2010-12-22T15:15:30Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > Wait… that wouldn’t be YELLOW mustard would it? Pfft, you are SO racist! What…the guy likes mustard on his dog? Big deal. I bet, given the opportunity, he’d put mayo, ketchup, relish or even sauerkraut on there. Probably a combination, probably even chili! Nah. Dude’s no racist, just a perv. And there’s nothing wrong with being a perv so long as you do it alone. [serious hat] > [@may\_be\_ignorant](#): > > Good one. It was a joke, right? Sort of. Ok? It was sort of a joke. See, I’m all about “live & let live” but I’m also human which means thre is a very strong streak of, “My way or the highway” mixed in as well. This thread was a performance art interpretation of the conflict between the two ideals. Only the ‘live and let live’ part is background noise to my more imperious, primal if you will, nature. The aim of the piece is to toss out something outlandish that makes a frightening amount of sense, but which also is universally offensive. Or at least ought to be to any right-thinking people. “A little death without mourning no call and no warning. Baby…a dangerous idea that almost makes sense” ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-no-racist-but/564995/28 "2010-12-22T15:44:36Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > [serious hat] > > Sort of. Ok? It was sort of a joke. See, I’m all about “live & let live” but I’m also human which means thre is a very strong streak of, “My way or the highway” mixed in as well. This thread was a performance art interpretation of the conflict between the two ideals. Only the ‘live and let live’ part is background noise to my more imperious, primal if you will, nature. The aim of the piece is to toss out something outlandish that makes a frightening amount of sense, but which also is universally offensive. Or at least ought to be to any right-thinking people. > > “A little death without mourning > no call and no warning. > Baby…a dangerous idea > that almost makes sense” Well shit son… I was all pumped about receiving your newsletter…but now I find out your just some artsy fartsy hippie type. Is it too late to cancel my subscription? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-no-racist-but/564995/29 "2010-12-22T15:46:50Z")
Yes, but if you like slapping hippies I could still be your huckleberry. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-no-racist-but/564995/30 "2010-12-22T15:55:35Z")
Very nice, **Inigo** , but why does your list of Miscreants and Useless Fucks to be Destroyed not include the six-fingered man, hm? It’s not like we have proof that you found and destroyed him, you know! Hexadigitalia is a bane upon the earth, I say! Orf with it! There’s a brand of moron I’d like to add to the list, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to explain them properly. It’s the kind of person who teach children things so utterly and retrogradelysup[/sup] bigoted and wrong that they would be considered awfully inappropriate by a Stepford wife. 1: is too a word! ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-no-racist-but/564995/31 "2010-12-22T16:02:14Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > It’s the kind of person who teach children things so utterly and retrogradelysup[/sup] bigoted and wrong that they would be considered awfully inappropriate by a Stepford wife. You mean like people who teach them to put sugar on grits instead of salt/pepper/butter? Cuz I’m totally with you on that one, sister. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-no-racist-but/564995/32 "2010-12-22T16:05:15Z")
I’m not particularly knowledgeable of the foodstuffs involved therefore can not opine, but I shall make a note to myself that grits should get salt/pepper/butter and not sugar. I assume that means honey and syrup are also out? I’m talking about things like overhearing a genuinely-confused little kid say “but Mom, if boys can’t use pink things, why have you made a pink sauce for the salad?” ---
**Author:** ![Wallenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@Wallenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallenstein)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-no-racist-but/564995/33 "2010-12-22T16:08:59Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > And y’know what else? We need to stop whinging about “collateral damage” in wars. MoFo’s had the right idea back in the early 20th century–war should be very unpleasant for the constituency of the leadership that rocked the international boat. Betcha Iraq woulda turned out different if the locals knew how bad we were gonna make their lives if they didn’t do something about their leader (whom we installed, but trouble us not with trifles). Maybe, rather than wooing the Afghanis to be our friends and help us overthrow their oppressive (to us) leadership we should have explained: give us OBL or we carpet bomb your crummy little villages and torch your poppy fields. Gotcha… so as long as we keep killing Americans (by “we” I mean the Belgians, obviously\*) you will change your leaders and stop insisting pommes frites come with ketchup rather than mayonnaise? \*although not a Belgian myself I do feel entitled to speak on their behalf ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-no-racist-but/564995/34 "2010-12-22T17:05:32Z")
> [@Wallenstein](#): > > Gotcha… so as long as we keep killing Americans (by “we” I mean the Belgians, obviously\*) you will change your leaders and stop insisting pommes frites come with ketchup rather than mayonnaise? > > \*although not a Belgian myself I do feel entitled to speak on their behalf [Miserable Fat Belgian Bastards.](http://www.ibras.dk/montypython/episode37.htm#10) ---
**Author:** ![Candyman74](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Candyman74](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Candyman74)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-no-racist-but/564995/35 "2010-12-22T18:14:31Z")
> [@Unintentionally\_Blank](#): > > Shoot, son, that just makes you Uh-Mer-i-cun! And yet… I’m not! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-no-racist-but/564995.md?page=1)