# I'm not a bitch because you aren't listening. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 24, 2009, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089 "2009-07-24T05:39:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089/221 "2009-07-30T14:39:12Z")
> [@Uzi](#): > > Are the rest of you people in this thread simpleminded drones? Speaking for myself, no. > [@](#): > > If you were in the library and used up your two hours of time on the computer and needed an extra hour to finish your term paper, or what have you, and no one else was sitting at the computers you needed to complete your work, you wouldn’t have a problem with this sort of policy? Sure I would. However, I’d also not continue asking “Why?” after the first time, when it became obvious I wasn’t going to get anything but the policy from the clerk. > [@](#): > > When I buy computers at work, I give the new computers to those who will use them the most. So you have a policy for how you distribute finite resources. Which is what the library has. If you made exceptions to your policy, I’d be willing to bet that every time after that, when a new computer was purchased, you’d have a number of people asking to be an exception again. In that case, why have a policy? > [@](#): > > The more people question the policy the more likely it will be changed and the more likely computers will be purchased to answer the increased demand. **Stoid** is in California. You may not be aware, but that state is not exactly awash in cash right now. I’m sure the library would love to purchase more computers, or hire more people, or add more periodicals, or what have you … but odds are, they don’t have the money to do that. ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089/222 "2009-07-30T15:52:35Z")
> [@Uzi](#): > > Finally, a reason that makes sense to not allow people to use computers that NO ONE ELSE are currently using. [Not quite](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11391706&postcount=203), chief. ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089/223 "2009-07-30T15:54:46Z")
After reading this post and the linked post about **Stoid** ’s quest for “information - not advice”, it seems that **Stoid** expects there to be a _ **Stoid** ’s exception_ whenever rules don’t fit her needs. \*Airline person: Please turn off your electronic equipment. **Stoid** : Why? It hasn’t been proven that there is actual interference with signals. I read an article a couple of weeks ago that disagreed with this theory. Airline person: This is the rule. Please turn it off now. :eek: **Stoid** : Explain to me why this rule is in place. \* Theme Park Employee: I’m sorry miss. Pregnant women aren’t allowed on this ride. **Stoid** : This ride isn’t scary. Why is there a rule against pregnant women? Theme Park Employee: It’s the rule. It’s there in black and white. **Stoid** : But why? I want to ride, so you have to explain all the possible reasons such a rule exists. Theme Park Employee: :eek: (looking at the line building behind Stoid) _Grocery Store Employee: Ma’am, you have 16 items, there is a limit of 15 items for this line. **Stoid** : There’s no one behind me. Why is 15 the magic number? Why can’t you make an exception since there’s no one else here? Grocery Store Employee: Ma’am there’s a limit of 15 items.:eek:_ Waiter: Ma’am, I’m sorry, you must be under 12 to order from the children’s menu. **Stoid** : But I don’t have a big appetite. Why is this the rule? I don’t want to waste food. Waiter: I’m sorry Ma’am, but that’s the rule. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089/224 "2009-07-30T16:10:28Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > All I need is one person who makes a good argument that resonates with me and I’ll sign up. 73 people making the same bad argument to me just means 73 people accept the same bad argument. Color me unimpressed. I know you’re a rugged individualist who is averse to the herd mentality and that you’re so brilliant that you came up with the idea of using highlighters to mark the people who have had more than two hours on the computers all by yourself. With that in mind, why are you so unwilling to consider the possibility that you’re wrong? When there are 73 people telling you why the policy exists and giving you real life examples of why such a policy is necessary, it’s probably time to say, “Gee, maybe I’m wrong.” ---
**Author:** ![Uzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/91b2a8/32.png) [@Uzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uzi)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089/225 "2009-07-30T16:12:38Z")
> [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](#): > > [Not quite](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11391706&postcount=203), chief. You should really read that sentence of mine you quoted again. ---
**Author:** ![Uzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/91b2a8/32.png) [@Uzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uzi)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089/226 "2009-07-30T16:21:35Z")
> [@Sauron](#): > > So you have a policy for how you distribute finite resources. Which is what the library has. If you made exceptions to your policy, I’d be willing to bet that every time after that, when a new computer was purchased, you’d have a number of people asking to be an exception again. In that case, why have a policy? I have an unwritten policy. More of a guideline. I make exceptions to it all the time knowing full well the consequences of what could happen if I make a mistake. In other words, I’d have to explain my actions to my boss. > [@](#): > > I’m sure the library would love to purchase more computers, or hire more people, or add more periodicals, or what have you … but odds are, they don’t have the money to do that. Budget meeting conversation 1: ‘We don’t have any money for new computers, but it doesn’t matter because I see them empty all the time. So, when the current ones fail we won’t replace them until they are fully utilized’. Budget meeting conversation 2: ‘We don’t have any money for new computers, but I see they are continually being utilized, so when we get money we’ll purchase some new ones and replace any ones that do fail’. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089/227 "2009-07-30T16:34:49Z")
Wait – if there’s a local law library, why the hell is she using the university library? ---
**Author:** ![Uzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/91b2a8/32.png) [@Uzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uzi)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089/228 "2009-07-30T16:35:02Z")
> [@jali](#): > > … it seems that **Stoid** expects there to be a _ **Stoid** ’s exception_ whenever rules don’t fit her needs. Re: airline scenario: This is a safety issue. People could get hurt if violated. Not applicable to what Stoid is arguing. Theme Park: Another safety issue and an attempt to avoid a potential lawsuit. Grocery store: I’ve even had clerks call me over when there was no one else using the express line if I had more than the allowable limit. I’ve also arrived behind someone who was called over as the clerk didn’t see me in time to take me first. I waited as any rational person would\* - exactly the same scenario at the library. Restaurant: The customer can then get a half order off the adult menu. The waiter should offer that instead. Easily resolved. \*if the person at your store, library, etc, isn’t acting rational, or is violating the ‘don’t be a jerk’ statute, then kick the fucker out of your store. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089/229 "2009-07-30T16:39:54Z")
> [@Uzi](#): > > IBudget meeting conversation 1: ‘We don’t have any money for new computers, but it doesn’t matter because I see them empty all the time. So, when the current ones fail we won’t replace them until they are fully utilized’. > Budget meeting conversation 2: ‘We don’t have any money for new computers, but I see they are continually being utilized, so when we get money we’ll purchase some new ones and replace any ones that do fail’. I’m going to hazard a guess that the computers ARE fully utilized at various times of the day/week. Otherwise, there wouldn’t have been a need to create this policy in the first place. Let me give you an example from my work that I’m dealing with right now. Our partners order materials from a third-party vendor that produces them at scheduled times during the year. We just passed the final cutoff for imprinted materials last Friday. We have a brand-new partner who joined our organization last Wednesday. She wanted to get imprinted materials. I explained the deadline was 48 hours away, so she had to approve the paperwork and get the imprint information submitted within that timeframe. I got the approved paperwork from her on Tuesday, two days ago (and two business days past the deadline). I explained that because of the deadline, her materials wouldn’t be imprinted. She said that was unacceptable, and complained to our CEO about it. While he agreed that she was past the deadline, and shouldn’t get imprinted materials, he asked me to try to work it out. Naturally, this woman is very appreciative of our efforts to break our policy for her, right? She’s overflowing with praises and singing our names to the heavens, right? Wrong. It’s been a complete fustercluck for the past 36 hours. She’s complaining about the lack of time she has to get these things done. She’s telling anybody who will listen (including our third-party vendor) that I screwed this up, and I should be held accountable. She’s whining and complaining and making this process take longer than it should and in general is being a huge jerk about it. Meanwhile, I’m doing everything in my power to get this woman her imprinted materials, including breaking established procedures with long-term vendors. Now, I can handle it … I’m good at what I do. But situations like this are why you don’t go against a policy or procedures you’ve established. It just doesn’t pay off. ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089/230 "2009-07-30T16:46:38Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Wait – if there’s a local law library, why the hell is she using the university library? I don’t get the impression that she is using the university library. Very occasionally, I go to the University Law Library to look for some sort of secondary resource that I can’t get through Lexis or the bar’s case search service. From my experiences there, you can’t get access to the computers unless you are a student. The local courts do have law libraries that are open to the public and I think that the one here does have Westlaw access, but the computers are old and slow and there are only four of them. [QUOTE=Stoid] I’m so glad I’m not one of those people. As I’ve stated ad nauseum, my interest was never and would never be to request special treatment, but to suggest a change in the policy that would accomplish the goal (assuming it’s what we’ve assumed so far, vs. something stranger and more interesting, like, say, feeding the invisible computer gods that live under the table tasting our flesh in ways we don’t feel, but they tire of the same flavor after two hours…) without having to deny people the use of the computers when they are free. [/QUOTE] In other words, you are asking him why the policy exists with the hopes of finding a loophole or asking him to waive the policy. correct? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089/231 "2009-07-30T16:53:25Z")
> [@jali](#): > > After reading this post and the linked post about **Stoid** ’s quest for “information - not advice”, it seems that **Stoid** expects there to be a _ **Stoid** ’s exception_ whenever rules don’t fit her needs. > > \*Airline person: Please turn off your electronic equipment. > **Stoid** : Why? It hasn’t been proven that there is actual interference with signals. I read an article a couple of weeks ago that disagreed with this theory. > Airline person: This is the rule. Please turn it off now. :eek: > **Stoid** : Explain to me why this rule is in place. \* > > Theme Park Employee: I’m sorry miss. Pregnant women aren’t allowed on this ride. > **Stoid** : This ride isn’t scary. Why is there a rule against pregnant women? > Theme Park Employee: It’s the rule. It’s there in black and white. > **Stoid** : But why? I want to ride, so you have to explain all the possible reasons such a rule exists. > Theme Park Employee: :eek: (looking at the line building behind Stoid) > > _Grocery Store Employee: Ma’am, you have 16 items, there is a limit of 15 items for this line. > **Stoid** : There’s no one behind me. Why is 15 the magic number? Why can’t you make an exception since there’s no one else here? > Grocery Store Employee: Ma’am there’s a limit of 15 items.:eek:_ > > Waiter: Ma’am, I’m sorry, you must be under 12 to order from the children’s menu. > **Stoid** : But I don’t have a big appetite. Why is this the rule? I don’t want to waste food. > Waiter: I’m sorry Ma’am, but that’s the rule. :eek: I believe you have nailed Stoid’s personality. But she isn’t doing it with any animosity, so it’s okay. ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089/232 "2009-07-30T17:01:14Z")
> [@Uzi](#): > > _if the person at your store, library, etc, isn’t acting rational, or is violating the ‘don’t be a jerk’ statute, then kick the fucker out of your_\* store( **library** )\*\*. My snip and my addition of the word “library”. There are people who expect exceptions to rules because of their “special” cases. They’re the ones who annoy the flight attendants, cashiers, waiters, etc. with (sometimes logical) arguments despite the fact the the people they harrass cannot change the rules. They consider them non thinking assholes. My response to your response. Airlines: “Safety issue” - not according to the “article read a couple of weeks ago” that said there was no safety issue. Theme Park - not according to the potential rider who’s ridden the ride in the past. Grocery Store - I’m thrilled when a cashier enforces the rules. Have you never been behind someone in the express lane with a full basket of groceries who claims, “well last week I did it”. Restaurant: All restaurants don’t offer the half adult portion. Are you kidding? ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089/233 "2009-07-30T17:20:46Z")
> [@jali](#): > > Restaurant: All restaurants don’t offer the half adult portion. Are you kidding? Maybe they could make a special exception just this once. I mean, it’s already been explained that she’s not that hungry, right? What more reason do you need? ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089/234 "2009-07-30T17:31:50Z")
> [@leander](#): > > **Stoid** , you don’t get it and you’ll never get it. You’re an obtuse fucking joke, and the reason you’re a fucking joke is your posts here. You can pretend otherwise, but you’ve brought all this upon yourself. I have no shame around who I am here, Leander. I know exactly who I am, I know exactly what I’m saying, and I know exactly what some people think of me. I’m sorry to disappoint you by not “getting it”, although I can’t really figure out what you imagine “getting it” would look like. It’s always fun to get approval from any source, even public message boards, and it can be disappointing to get the reverse. But if I found myself looking to the Straight Dope for a meaningful assessment of my character or really, anything at all about myself or my life that truly mattered, it would be a very dark day, and then Michael Ellis’ belief about me would be true. And finally, there’s a disconnect I’m going to connect for you: I have absolutely no respect of any kind for the opinions of people who take their entertainment from ridicule of anyone, not just me. I think it is strange and very sad for people to devote their time and energy to coming up with ways to mock or attack people they don’t like. Pointing and laughing is ugly, whether it’s at the Elephant Man or Stoid, and I would never look to the crowd of people doing it for instruction on how to improve myself. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089/235 "2009-07-30T17:37:26Z")
It’s positively freakish how many people keep ignoring the fact that I never said, sought, or would seek to be an exception. Screw exceptions, people, I wanna subvert the system from the ground up! ---
**Author:** ![Xploder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a183cd/32.png) [@Xploder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xploder)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089/236 "2009-07-30T17:42:50Z")
So **Stoid** …you still run that crappy ancient porno website? How’s that going for you? ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089/237 "2009-07-30T17:43:58Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > It’s positively freakish how many people keep ignoring the fact that I never said, sought, or would seek to be an exception. Do you really not understand that if the rule states that each person only gets two hours of computer time and you ask for a third hour that is asking for an _ **exception** _ to the rules? ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089/238 "2009-07-30T17:54:22Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > Do you really not understand that if the rule states that each person only gets two hours of computer time and you ask for a third hour that is asking for an _ **exception** _ to the rules? Of course I understand it. I didn’t ask for a third hour. Well, actually, that’s not technically accurate. I asked for a third hour BEFORE the rule was told to me, which was when he told me what the rule was. After I was told what the rule was, I asked why that was the rule, I didn’t ask him to make an exception for me or give me a third hour anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089/239 "2009-07-30T18:07:09Z")
> [@Lord\_Ashtar](#): > > why are you so unwilling to consider the possibility that you’re wrong? When there are 73 people telling you why the policy exists and giving you real life examples of why such a policy is necessary, it’s probably time to say, “Gee, maybe I’m wrong.” I’m not unwilling at all, I’m always considering whether I’m wrong. I just don’t use the number of people who are in agreement as a means of determining it one way or another, for the reasons I stated in the post in which I stated it: large numbers of people being of like mind, whether negative or positive, says absolutely nothing about the subject they agree upon. Everyone agreed the earth was flat. Millions of people agree that Jesus of Nazareth died on the cross as part of a Rube Goldberg-like plan for salvation that an all-powerful creator came up with. Millions of people voted for George Bush two different times. Several dozen people here on the Straight Dope are convinced that advice and information are the same thing and that restating a policy in response to questions about the purpose of the policy is a good idea. Numbers are a shit yardstick for value. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089/240 "2009-07-30T18:14:23Z")
> [@Caffeine.addict](#): > > In other words, you are asking him why the policy exists with the hopes of finding a loophole or asking him to waive the policy. correct? No. Read the thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-a-bitch-because-you-arent-listening/504089.md?page=13)